Loneliness

July 23rd, 1993

It was a gloomy day, filled with rain and a miserable cold to go with it when Auror Amelia Sterling received a report that a dangerous prisoner had escaped Azkaban. 

She looked on with concern as her head of department went over the plans to find and bring Sirius Black back into their custody before sending him back to the hell that he belonged in.  It was all well on their part, to want to capture Black, but Amelia had other ideas on the subject. 

Once the meeting was over, Amelia, with a private smile on her face, made her way to the Floo network at the Ministry, eager to get to Remus's home, knowing that Tonks would be there.  Three years ago, she'd spent a year on guard duty at Azkaban and had the opportunity to talk to Black more than once, sometimes even being able to pass him notes from Remus.  He of course had no idea who she was, save for her last name, but it was enough. 

Calling out her mentors and friends address, she was pleasantly surprised when the two greeted her at their fireplace.  

"Do they know how he's escaped?"  Remus was first to question her, relief as well as concern evident in his voice.  

"They think he might have used his animagi to escape when the guards were rotating with the Dementors at midnight, but they're not sure."  Remus nodded his head, leading Amelia and Tonks to his dining room.  "Do you know where he might go?"  If it was anyone else that Amelia was asking this of, she might have been worried that they might be afraid of telling her lest she report back to her Head Auror, but she had grown up with Nymphadora, and with that, had come to know Remus as well when the two had started seeing each other. 

A look passed between Remus and Tonks before Tonks turned to her closest friend.  "Remus thinks that Sirius is going to Hogwarts."

"Why would he..."

"There was a picture in the Daily Prophet of the Weasley family in Egypt."  Remus interrupted, voice growing harder as he spoke.  "Someone I thought dead, someone who was supposed to be a friend, he was in the photo and if I know Sirius at all, then he's going to go after him."  Amelia nodded her head, looking between the two of them.  Tonks had told her a few nights ago that Remus suspected Peter Petigrew to still be alive.  That he was the youngest Weasleys pet rat.  How he knew it was Petigrew, Amelia had no idea, but it all made sense now. 

Sirius Black had sounded void of any hope of having his name cleared on the nights that she'd talk to him, and it would make sense if he had seen the picture of the Weasleys, recognizing Petigrew like Remus had, although she had no idea where he would have seen the Daily Prophet issue.  Prisoners weren't allowed such luxuries.  

Remus cleared his throat, getting Amelias attention back to the present.  "I need a favor."  Amelia nodded her head, her mind spinning.  "I need your father to recommend me for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts.  I know that Dumbledore is looking, but I think it'll be less suspicious if I'm not the one that approaches him about it. The Weasley boy will bring his rat there, and I'm a hundred percent sure that Sirius is going to make an appearance there as well."  

"Of course.  I'll stop by his house on my way home."  Amelia bit them both goodnight before going out the front door to apparate to her father. 

Armando Sterling, Amelias father, was one of the twelve on the Hogwarts school board and she knew for a fact that he had a soft spot for Remus because of Tonks.  She knew that all she had to do was say Remus's name and her father would write to Dumbledore that night, offering Remus Lupin as a prospect for the teaching position. 

July 30th, 1994

Amelia stopped at the door to Grimmauld 12, unsure of whether she should knock or just open the door.  Tonks had told her to just come in when she got here, but it seemed off to her.  It wasn't her home, nor was it Tonks or Remus's.  This place belonged to Sirius Black.  A man who only knew her voice.  

Taking a calming breath, it was a split decision on her part as she brought her hand to the door and knocked.  Once, then twice.  Holding in her breath, Amelia was relieved when a familiar face appeared as the door opened.  Tonks had the girl wrapped in her arms in a matter of seconds.  Although the both of them were Aurors, Amelia was a Hunter, and rarely got to see her best friend. 

"I was beginning to think that you weren't coming."  Amelia raised a brow at her, giving her a weird look. 

"I'm only two minutes late."  She didn't think it was important to include the fact that she'd been standing at the door for the past ten minutes, contemplating on making a run for it. 

She didn't want to admit it, but she was rather nervous at being here.  Sirius Black had been cleared by Dumbledore, if only in the circle of the Order, and in return Black had offered his home for any Order meetings.  Amelia had been invited into the Order some months past, but was only now able to make it to a meeting.  Being a Hunting Auror during these times took a lot out of her. 

"No matter, I'm glad you're here A.  Come."  The two made their way into the house.  The smell of dust and old buildings screamed that it had been sitting empty for a decade.

Coming up to a set of double doors, Amelia preyed that there would be more than two people that she knew here and was pleasantly surprised to see Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt at a large dining table, both of whom she knew from working at the Ministry.  The less pleasant surprise was seeing her old Potions Professor, Severus Snape.

At the head of the table was Sirius Black.  He looked different now than in the photos.  Gone was the deranged looking prisoner and in his stead sat a well deserving man of the rumors that she'd heard. 

"Sirius, this is Amelia."  Tonks provided, guiding the girl to a seat next to her and Remus.  "She-"

"Shouldn't be here."  Amelia turned to glare at Snape, her brow raising.  Her old Potions Professor and Head of House had always disliked Amelia for the sole fact that as a Slytherin, she spent a lot of time getting into trouble alongside a Hufflepuff.  Alongside Tonks. 

"Some might say that you shouldn't be here either, Professor."  Amelia told him in an indifferent tone as she took her seat, hearing Remus chuckle next to her.  

The evening was spent talking about precautions that the Order would have to take against the rising threat of Death Eaters popping up all over Europe, claiming that Voldemort is making a return.  

Amelia couldn't keep her eyes off of the owner of the home when he spoke.  He sounded like a different person then when she'd heard his voice three years ago.  He sounded like a person who was reborn with a new purpose, and it made her feel satisfied to hear hope in his voice. 

When the meeting was over, and most of the people had left, Amelia was waiting in the hallway for Tonks so that they could catch a late dinner when a voice behind her made her turn around.  

"Auror Sterling."  Amelia opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it.  "It's nice to finally put a face to the voice that kept me sane for a year."  She swallowed, thickly, and smiled, nodding her head. Praying there is no way he can tell that her heart is beating in her throat.

"It's nice to put a true face to the man behind the prison walls."  She told him and he chuckled at that, filling her insides with warmth.  

Sirius came up to the opposite wall across from her and leaned against it, putting his arms in his pockets.  He looked younger now, she realized, then he did in the wanted posters.  He looked good. 

"I suppose it's a bit too late to thank you for that year."  He told her, his eyes bearing into hers.

"There's nothing to thank me for.  Anyone would have-"

Sirius shook his head, smiling at her.  "In all the years that I've spent there, not a single guard had said so much as a word to me, and you went as far as passing me notes from my oldest friend Ms. Sterling."  She wondered how he did it.  How he kept his mind intact all those years without any human interactions, and with all the Dementors patrolling and sucking slivers of souls out of the prisoners each night. 

"It was the first thing I wanted to do when I got out, if I'm being honest." His voice was soft, his futures softening into a strange smile. "To find you and thank you for showing kindness to someone like me.  But there were things that I had to do first and I didn't want to put you in a position of hiding an escapee." 

Amelia nodded her head at that, eyes growing soft and understanding. She never expected him to find her when she'd found out that he had escaped. But hearing that he'd thought about it, and simply didn't want to burden her, made her realize one thing. It wouldn't have been a burden at all. She would have defied the whole of Ministry to keep him safe. She couldn't understand the pull that she felt towards the man standing across from her, but the feeling left her feeling unnerved.

"Like I said, there is no need to thank me-"

"I beg to differ, Ms. Sterling.  There is plenty I must thank you for, but I'm afraid that you already have plans tonight."  Amelia raised a brow at that.  What did he mean?

Choosing to ignore the slight warmth that was spreading through her body at his gaze like wildfire, she cleared her throat.  "You can call me Amelia.  If you'd like."  She added after seeing his brow rise. 

"Amelia.  A fitting name for a beautiful-" Sirius didn't get to finish when Tonks walked out of the kitchen, her hair a bright red.  

"Ready?"  She stopped in her tracks, turning between Sirius and Amelia, eyes growing suspiciously gleeful.  "Am I interrupting something?"  

Amelia cleared her throat, praying that her face wasn't matching her friend's hair.  "No."  She didn't miss the way Sirius raised a brow at her, giving her a calculating look.  "Shall we?"  She offered Tonks her elbow and turned towards Sirius.  "It was nice to meet you in person, Mr. Black."  

Tonks had a multitude of questions during dinner.

November 12th, 1994

"We've already established that Harry didn't put his name in the Goblet Severus."  Sirius warned him in a hard-set tone, an expression of distaste evident in his gaze as he looked at Amelias old Potions Professor.  "Perhaps you should worry about finding the person who's trying to make my nephew look guilty more."  

Snape didn't say anything, just glared at Sirius before turning on his heal and leaving the dining room.  Amelia sat frozen at the table, not sure whether the meeting was over now.  The first Triwizarding task has been completed, and Amelia felt sick to her stomach about what else they had in store for those kids.  

"Maybe we should end the meeting for tonight and pick up in two weeks."  Offered Molly Weasley, her husband following suit when she stood up.  It had been just the five of them tonight, since Remus was currently indisposed of, and Tonks was on a mission for the Aurors.  

Amelia stood up, intent on following the Weasleys out.  "Amelia, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?"  She looked at Sirius, feeling that warmth spread through her again.  They hadn't talked much since the first night in July, even though she's been here almost twice a month for the past three months. 

"Of course."  She offered and bid her goodbyes to Arthur and Molly, who gave her a strange look before leaving.  

Sitting back down, she didn't have to wonder for long why he asked her to stay behind.  "I apologize if I've made you feel uncomfortable."  Sirius told her, his eyes set gently on her.  He hadn't seen much sun since being back, but still managed to look warm and inviting, Amelia thought, looking at his chest.  His dress shirt was just barely open at the top for her to want to find out if the rest of his body had a soft warm color to it.  

"What makes you think that I'm uncomfortable?"  If anything, Amelia thought that maybe she did something wrong on the first night because he hadn't tried talking to her even once since then. 

Sirius took a deep breath, his fingers drumming against the table.  "You're the first one out of here when the meetings are over."  He told her, raising a brow.

Swallowing hard, she wondered for a moment if she should be honest with him.  Deciding against it, she crossed her fingers under the table, never being able to fully lie without doing the action.

"I suppose I just don't want to overstay my welcome.  You've been kind enough to provide your home to the Order and I can't imagine you like having strangers lingering here."  It wasn't fully a lie though, was it?  She really didn't want to overstay her welcome, or make it seem like she was expecting anything from him.  

She still didn't know how to feel about him almost calling her beautiful, if that was where he was heading all those months ago, and she had no idea where to place the warmth that she felt every time she saw him.  

Sirius chuckled, getting up from his seat.  "You're always welcome here Amelia.  The only person that I'm not so keen on lingering is Snape.  But you..."  He trailed off, walking over to her.  "I have a feeling you make for wonderful company, and it gets extremely boring around here when no one is around but me."  

She swallowed hard, again, when he stopped by her chair.  She didn't even think about the fact that he might feel lonely.  Remus usually stops by every few nights, but he has duties that sometimes take him out of town for weeks at a time, and besides Remus, Amelia didn't know if anyone else comes by.  

"I'm sorry."  She wasn't sure if she was apologizing for not realizing sooner how lonely he must be, or for how stupid she must sound to him.  

"There is nothing to apologize for."  Sirius told her, offering her his hand.  "Have you eaten yet?"  

Amelia shook her head, taking his hand and letting him pull her to her feet.  He was warm to touch, and she loved it.  Too much, perhaps.  

He held her hand in his for a moment, his eyes piercing into hers before he let it go, taking a step around her.  "Would you like to have dinner with me then?  I can't say I'm very good at cooking, but I'm sure I'll be able to whip something up that will at least not kill us."  

Before she could even think about her response, she agreed, letting him lead her towards the kitchen.  She's never met anyone like him before, and it peaked her curiosity.  For years now, she's wanted nothing more than to get to know him on a more personal level rather than a faceless man behind bars, and this seemed too sweet an opportunity to pass on.  

Sirius offered her a seat at the kitchen counter while he went about preparing them pasta.  She didn't have the heart to tell him that she wasn't fond of the dish he was making.  

He was asking her about her family and why she chose the path of an Auror while preparing the sauce for the pasta, and all she could focus on was how bloody good he looked while doing something so simple as cooking. 

"My father always wanted to be one, but mother wouldn't let him.  Said that it was not a good fit for a man of his statue, so he went into politics instead.  Like most pureblooded families' patriarchs do, I suppose.  When mother passed away before my thirteenth birthday, for months my father seemed like a shell of himself, so I vowed to make him happy and joined the Auror program when I graduated from Hogwarts."  

Sirius stopped chopping the chives, his eyes going round.  "You became an Auror to make your father happy?"  The concern in his voice made her chuckle.  Amelia shook her head, smiling at him. 

"I was always interested, but mother wouldn't hear of it.  I don't mean to disrespect her in any way, but she's not here now to tell me what kind of a life I should be leading, so I thought why not, you know?  Plus, I love it, most of the time."  She added when she saw Sirius give her a curious look.  

"Was there anything else you wanted to do besides being an Auror?"  Amelia thought hard on it, remembering how badly she wanted to study dragons when she was little.  Reading all those muggle books that her father used to buy in secret for her, she couldn't imagine a better job than getting a chance of taking care off and learning everything there was to learn about beings that muggles didn't think were even real.   

"I wanted to be a Dragonologist."  It was a simple answer, an honest one that led into the two of them talking about dragons and her childhood.  By the time they were done with her whole life story, dinner was ready, and Sirius sat down next to her, his shoulders brushing hers while he purred them both wine.

Amelia chanced a bite of her food and was pleasantly surprised.  The man sitting beside her was downsizing his cooking abilities.  "I thought you said you weren't really good at cooking."  She told him while taking another bite, making him chuckle. 

"Well, I had to surprise you with something.  And I saw the look on your face when I told you what we're having.  You're not much for pasta, are you?"  

Amelias eyes went wide, her cheeks heating.  No, she wasn't much for pasta, but this, this tasted better than anything she'd ever had.  It had white sauce paired with shrimp and it was delectable. 

She caught his eyes, giving him an apologetic smile.  "No, I'm not, but this does taste good.  I've never had pasta like this before."  Sirius chuckled, nudging her elbow.  

"Family secret."  Family.

There were so many questions she wanted to ask him but didn't know where to start.  Or if she even should ask anything about family. When she talked with him through the prison cell, he mostly wanted to know about what was happening in the world. In his godson's life.

Deciding to avoid the topic all together, she emptied her glass for courage and watched Sirius pour her seconds while he still nursed his first glass.  "The Aurors are looking into Peter Petigrews whereabouts."  Sirius raised a brow at that, the fork in his hand stopping half way towards his mouth.  "Tonks convinced the Head Auror that he's alive, god's know how she managed to do that, but there is a hunt on him now.  And with luck, we'll find him soon and clear your name completely." 

She watched an emotion close to hope cross his face while he looked at her before he refilled her glass again.  She wasn't much into drinking, but even the wine that he had tasted good.  Maybe everything tasted good when she was near him. 

She watched him put the fork down and instead take a sip of the wine, his face clearly showing that he wasn't much for drinking wine either. 

"You don't like wine?"  

Sirius chuckled, putting the glass down.  "That noticeable, huh?"  Amelia nodded, getting up to take both of the plates to the sink.  It was only fair to clean up after he cooked for her.  "You don't have to wash-"

"I want to."  She told him.  She loved the way it felt to wash the dishes the muggle way.  The way it felt to have the hot water run down her hands.  She loved the heat.  "What do you like to drink?"

"Not wine." 

She turned to him, a brow raised. "Then why-"

"It's only polite to drink something so delicate in the presence of someone so lovely."  Amelia gulped, her heart starting to race. 

"Then what do you prefer to drink Sirius? When you're not trying to impress anyone." Amelia knew it wasn't the alcohol that had come over her because she wasn't drinking on an empty stomach.  What possessed her to say that though, that she didn't want to know. 

Sirius chuckled, again, the sound sending heat racing through her body, again.  "You think I'm trying to impress you?"  Turning the water off, Amelia dried the dishes without pulling out her wand or uttering a single word and sent them to their prospective places before she turned to him, leaning her backside against the sink.  

"Aren't you?"  He smiled at her, licking his bottom lip. 

"Is it working?"  

The heat that was spreading through her body was taking over her. She knew she was as good as gone when she used to live for the nights when it would be her rotation on his side of the prison. All just to hear his voice one more time. To give him one more reason to stay alive.

Amelia tilted her head. "What is your preferred choice of Alcohol?" He was teasing her with his eyes, his lips. That damn tongue demanding to be noticed by her when he'd let it out to lick his bottom lip.  

"Fire whiskey." She didn't think twice about summoning it and was pleased when a bottle floated into the kitchen with a glass, stopping in front of him before the glass filled itself.  

Amelia knew Sirius was impressed with her wand-less magic when he gave her an approving look. She smirked, watching him take a sip, then another. The heat spread between her thighs when she watched his eyes roam her body like he was still hungry.  

Taking in a breath, she started moving towards him before she lost her nerve. Sirius didn't take his eyes off of her until she was right in front of him, her fingers gently wrapping around his, the glass in that hand being lifted towards her. Tilting the glass to her lips, Amelia took a sip, letting the liquid burn down her throat.

Sirius let out a breath, his mouth slightly open, a pleased smile spreading across his futures at her rounded eyes when he moved his hand to cover hers before bringing the glass to his own lips, taking a sip. She couldn't take her eyes off of his lips when they parted, letting the fire whiskey in.  Amelia has never liked the taste of Alcohol, but she'd be damned if she said that watching him take a healthy amount into his mouth didn't make her own mouth water. She wanted another taste. 

Swallowing thickly, hardly for the first time that night, Amelia wanted to be honest with him. "You've had me impressed a long time ago, Sirius Black." She told him, yearning to taste the fire whiskey on his lips. Lips that look like they could make her melt.

"Have I now kitten?" Amelia swore in her head, watching him take the glass in his other hand and put it on the counter.  Her fingers tingled when he intertwined them with his, making them look like they've always belonged together.  

She didn't think about what she did next, only knew that he met her lips halfway, his free hand coming around her waist to bring her closer. A second, two, three went by before she felt his tongue inside her mouth, slowly exploring her. She couldn't think about anything but the sole fact that her whole body was set ablaze. She wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin, and she wanted to fill his loneliness. 

Amelia moved, sitting on top of him.  

"I've wondered for years what it'd feel like to have you this close to me." Sirius whispered against her lips, his hands tightening their hold on her. "Ever since the night I first heard your sweet voice through the cell doors."  

She could feel his body tensing under her and hoped that he knew she's wanted this for years as well because she didn't trust herself to speak right at this moment. Moving slightly, she cursed under her breath when she felt his erection through his trousers against her heat. It was maddening, the friction being enough for a split second before becoming not enough at all.  

Amelia tried pressing her want through the kiss, wrapping her hands around his neck while she moved against him, this time with more pressure, with more need. Sirius moved his hands to her hips, helping her move a third time against him, a soft moan filling the kitchen from them both. Repeating the action, Sirius moved her heat against his clothed cock again and again, before using one of his hands to move her neck so that it was exposed to him. 

His tongue explored her neck, his teeth grazing under her ear, and Amelia couldn't help it when she pulled his head back, her lips finding his. She could feel him chuckling against her, the fingers on her hip digging into her. 

"I want to explore your whole body with my tongue, kitten." Sirius whispered against her lips, his tongue tracing her bottom lip.

"I want to do the same to you." Her voice was barely above a whisper when she responded to him, nipping at his bottom lip. She'd go mad if she didn't have him inside her this moment. Breaking the kiss, Amelia leaned towards his neck, tracing her tongue up to his ear. "But I want to feel you inside me Sirius. Now. Please."  It was a plea, one that he didn't disappoint when he groaned, moving his hips against her before his hands found the edge of her skirt, fingers pulling the fabric up. Briefly, she thanked the gods that she had chosen to wear a skirt tonight. 

Her hands found his zipper, and in seconds it was undone, letting him out. She gasped when Sirius swore under his breath, his cock grazing her heat through her undergarments. In seconds he was pulling her into a kiss before one of his hands found her undergarment, fingers grazing against her heat before he moved them aside, while he used the hand on her hip to guide her right over his cock.

Perhaps it would be better to not do it right here, in a kitchen, she thought, knowing that her mind was spiraling out of control with lust, and it had taken over when she decided she didn't care where he took her when she sank down on him, a shiver running down her spine at the pleasure the action mixed with his groan brought to her.  She moved up, sinking back down, eliciting the same sound from him.  His fingers were gripping her hips then, helping her move up and down once, twice, she was losing count when all she could think about was how close she was to coming undone.  

Amelia didn't want this to end this fast when Sirius moved one of his hands between them, his fingers gracing her heat, circling her bud, forcing electricity to run down her spine.

"Sirius..." She couldn't finish what she wanted to say because it was overwhelming, to have his fingers on her while she was moving up and down, taking him all in over and over again. 

"I know love." Sirius whispered between their kiss, and then did something she'd never had anyone do before. He brought the fingers that were on her to his lips, his tongue licking them clean, setting her off further and she was kissing him, tasting a small part of herself on his tongue. "Can I cum inside you kitten?"

"Gods, please." Amelia barely managed out before his hand joined the other on her hip, helping both of them set a faster pace.  Seconds more and she was crashing from the high, feeling him fill her from inside.

Slowing down the movements, Amelia relaxed on top of him, letting him pull her close to his chest. Sirius found her neck, his lips peppering soft kisser all the way to her ear. "I'm not taking no for an answer." Chuckling, Amelia moved her head to look at him.  "Would you like to stay the night with me?"  

Pecking his lips, she tried hiding her ever growing smile. "Only because I'm not allowed to say no." It was his turn to chuckle, the sound filling her body with warmth.