Harry had always wondered why Cedric told him about the dragon eggs. Sure, he had alerted him about the dragons in first task, and he was an amiable young man, but still, wasn't he a competitor ? Wouldn't he want the glory of being a champion himself ? Come to think of it, Cedric was the only one from the other houses who hadn't given him a hard time about Harry's entry.
Harry can't wrap his head around it. It's too confusing as it is. And he purposely makes it a point to hate the guy who whisked Cho off to the ball, and out of his game. He couldn't let himself think that Cedric was a 'good guy' !! He was his competitor !! And in more than one game.
Still, it keeps him up at night. Cedric and Cho at the ball, Cho giggling into Cedric's shoulder at something he whispered under the overwhelming sound of the waltz, Cho's soft fingers resting delicately on Cedric's shoulders, Cedric getting starry eyed at the ethereal girl in front of him.. no Fleaur, no veela, but still, a luminescent beauty. He found it so hard to drag his gaze away when Cedric pulled Cho a bit too close for a school formal. His fingers on Cho's waist gripping possessively. Yet there was a tenderness in his touch, as if he was afraid to hold too hard. He wasn't like that when gripping Harry in the maze......
Getting a date with Cho wasn't hard when the games were over. The tournament was a bit too much for them all, and Cedric couldn't bear to keep up with a girlfriend after facing He Who Must Be Named. Worst of all, nobody believed him when he sided with Harry and asserted that Voldemort was indeed back. The rumours got worse. Why was he supporting Harry ? Was Harry a Death Eater after all ? Was he under Harry's spell ? Had Harry done something to his mind ??
The things the people of this school could come up with, and yet, nobody believed what actually was the truth
Cedric surprised himself when he signed up for the Army. Why had he done it ? He didn't have any personal stakes in the matter. And things definitely weren't easy with Cho there, and being coy around Harry all the while. Cedric scoffs. Of course she would go for the other Starboy. She always did the enigmatic aura surrounding his scar. Cedric remembered how many times he had assured Cho that Harry wasn't spooky or anything... He was just one of us. A kind, brave, loyal boy who would do anything to save those are him. A boy with jet black which never really lay flat, and it always irked Cedric. Couldn't he try a wet comb maybe ? If only he could push it down somewhat.. at times........
Cedric was pretty serious when it came to the Army. He would always be on time, and keep up with the hidden updates, checking up with Harry frequently in the hallways. He was from the house associated with cowardice, and lack of speciality, but if he could win the fatal tournament, though alongside Harry, he would much rather prepare for what was out there. It wasn't even about proving anything to anyone. It was about himself, and standing by what was right. Harry was right
Harry was the centre of a lot these days. Dealing with rumours, the walking nightmare that was Umbridge, the unending schoolwork which never seemed to get over despite Hermione's constant help, and whatnot. Besides, his head was always overridden with planning meetings, what they'd cover at those meetings, how they'd go about it, the almost non-existent safety precautions they ought to take.
Amd what was annoying was how one his best friends was giving him a hard time about something totally irrelevant. Scratch that, nonexistent. While it was true that Hermione was the brightest witch of her age, she could be really uptight and know-it-all sometimes, and in this case, it was that Harry had something going on for, none other than, Cedric. Yeah. The nerdy girl who had dated once, although it was an international quidditch star, only for it to dwindle after two or so months, was digging up a story about Harry's "crisis". As if. It was so stupid and so random that Harry didn't even refute it. It was absurd !! Yet he hadn't told Ron about it. Surely, he would understand, not that Harry was in boy trouble but that their friend was with her head in the clouds, still, it didn't feel worth the trouble. Emotional intricacies were lost on Ron anyway. It's just that, Hermione's not-so-discreet nudges and winks were starting to get on his nerves, especially when Cedric was around and he had to try and get his mind off of how his lips moved while he talked. So distracting.
Which is what was happening right now. They were at the end of one of their meetings, and it had gone really well. The number of successful patronuses had blown his mind, and the room was a dazzling glow of fluorescent white while people conjured happy memories and channelled it into their wands. Not a coincidence, but it was pretty jolly meeting for Christmas time. They wouldn't be meeting over the break cause many were going home, so it was an extra long practice. Harry was exhausted. But also jubilant. It was the kind of happiness he felt after a particularly grueling day of training, or if he dare think so, what he felt when he was carried out of the Chamber of Secrets by Faux. Drained out. Yet satiated
The room was emptying out slowly, Ron and Hermione hanging out near the doorway. The last of the members fizzled out, Harry nodding once more to a cheery "Merry Christmas !!" when he spotted him. A dishevelled mop of dirty blonde hair. It sometimes gave him flashes of the tournament... Rounding a corner... Drenched in sweat... Sweeping over the eyes that knew how close they were to death... But today was different. It was the festive season, and Cedric had managed to produce a full patronus. Harry had whooped and slapped him the back and Cedric had flashed him, not his celebrity smile reserved for the parents or the camera, but one that was more subdued and somehow, momentarily intimate. Did his eyes always have that golden light in them ? Or was it the leaping white animals around them ?? Before Harry could figure it out, Cedric had turned away and was showing a third year a proper wand position
Harry turned to look at Hermione, knowing full well thr smirk that would be on the lips, and desperately hoping she'll not say something about it. They locked eyes. Yup. It was there. That knowing smirk at the corner of her lips whenever Cedric was in the vicinity, or Harry and Cedric put their heads together to work out a strategy. She started backing away, pulling Ron with her. Thank god. Harry sighed.
Perhaps Cedric had heard his footsteps. He turned slightly while Harry approached, not looking him in the eye but acknowledging his presence. "You know, I never knew they were this young," he says. He's looking at the framed picture of the original Order of the Phoenix. "Yeah," Harry says. Could he be any more predictable ? He racked his brain for a better response, maybe a witty one that would make Cedric chuckle but nothing came. The pause dragged on. "Your parents... It was them right ?" Cedric pointed to the smiling faces of Lily and James Potter. "Yeah," replied Harry. That was innovative. Where had Harry left his brain ? And why did he care about coming up with comebacks ? He wasn't trying to win Cedric over or anything. Hermione's face pops up in his mind. It's the last thing he needs right now.
"Well, aren't you very agreeable today," Cedric looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, a slight smile grazing his lips. Harry chuckled. "Sorry, it's been a long day, and I could really use a bed and pillows right now. Umbridge isn't making this any easier for any of us." Cedric sighs.
"I believe you, you know".
"You better, you were there too".
Cedric looks at his feet. Harry feels the conversation growing sombre, and tries to dodge it, but Cedric starts before he can.
"Why didn't you let him kill me ?"
It was exactly what Harry had feared. Not because it was a night he rarely liked to think about, even though everything he was doing at the moment centred around that. The army, the rebellious attitude, the answering back in class. No, it wasn't that. He didn't knew what it was. The fact that he didn't know the answer himself made it harder. Inexplicable. Why had he thrown himself in front of Cedric when that green bolt sprouted from Voldemort's wand? They say the killing curse doesn't give you time to think. You have to be faster than your thoughts. Than your instincts. Than...
"He would have killed you..."
"Yeah, that's why... Why ?"
Harry could say that it was because back in his first year, when Dumbledore had visited him the hospital wing after his fiasco with the Sorcerer's stone, he had told him how Harry was immune to the curse because of his mother's sacrifice. That he knew nothing would happen to him. That he protected by the bond of love. Love. Something Voldemort was incapable of feeling. But that wouldn't be the truth. Harry knew it. He hadn't made such calculations that night in the graveyard. Had he done so, it would've been too late.
"Cause you would've died.."
"So would you have"
"But I didn't"
Cedric turned away towards the picture once again. His eyes coming to rest on no one in particular. There was a glossy, faraway look in them. He looked almond disappointed. Harry had nothing to disappoint him. Had he ? He didn't mean to. Sure he was being somewhat tongue-tied lately, though his head felt much clearer since he didnt have those bluish eyes on him. Cedric had blue eyes. Real, soft, blues. He hadn't noticed that before. Or maybe he had. They weren't unfamiliar. Yet..
"I don't really understand how this all works. What we're doing here. What happened that night. You jumping right on time." He laughed. An uncomfortable, stuffy noise.
"What am I now ? Immune to You-Know-Who ?"
His eyes landed again on Harry.
"Like you ?"
"I don't know"
He didn't. His mother had protected him with her love. Shielding him forever from the person born out a love-potion, unable to love and understand that human emotion which made the world go round. That which made people jump in front of a killing curse to save another.
"I'm not sure. Dumbledore said her love veiled me, or something. I don't know if that's the case here."
"You don't ?"
Harry looked up. Cedric had no more than a few inches on him. But Harry had to look quite at an angle now. Had he stepped closer ? It hadn't been like this in the hallways at least. Not even when Cedric was whispering in his ears about the prefect's bathroom.
Harry gulped. He had heard Hermione mention something about 'being in denial'. That you don't see what you are. What you do. Harry had scoffed and gone back to aggressively copying their Transfiguration homework from her, ignoring her swatting his hands away.
How could Harry deny something he wasn't even sure about ? He didn't even know. He hadn't let himself put a finger on what made his eyes light up everytime Cedric came their way. Or side up to him during practices for the Army. It was, he had told himself, a secret friendship. An unlikely friendship grown from the most unlikely of places.
"What would you have done ?"
Cedric didn't expect him to ask that. In fact, he hadn't expected him to say anything at all, much less ask something. He tilts his slightly downward, looking at Harry
"I'd have tried to same. But i don't know if I'd have been fast enough."
Harry felt heat spread in his chest. 'He would have tried !!', he thought. That was more ethan he could have wanted. More than he expected. More than he deserved, he thought.
"But you're not shielded from the curse.."
"I know"
Cedric's gaze didn't falter. He didn't turn to look away at the picture or at his feet. He wasn't fidgeting with his wand anymore. He had placed it in his robe pocket sometime during the conversation. Harry hadn't noticed. He was trying to figure out what was going on behind those eyes. Harry held his gaze.
Something shifted as the declaration settled upon Harry. It wasn't his house declaring a sacrifice. It wasn't a Hufflepuff standing by a Gryffindor to let him be the shining star. It was... Something else. Something behind those familiar eyes which Harry had surprisingly never looked into before. How did he know them then ?
Denial.. someone speaks in his head
Harry jutted his chin softly upwards. Cedric didn't look away or back up. He stayed put, eyes on Harry. The room grew quieter, dimmer, a blue glow illuminating the corners of the Magical room which always knew what someone wanted. What they needed.
Harry's eyes flickered upto where Cedric's hair caught the subtle glow. It was like stacks of hay had been kissed by the morning sky. Harry laughed at himself. Cedric's lips lifted a little at the corners.
"What ?"
"Your hair.. it's blue"
It made no sense. That explained the slight confusion in Cedric's eyes. But he stayed where he was. Head stooping slightly, eyes piercing Harry's with the softest stare one could muster.
There was nothing glaring about Cedric. Even when he was in the dragon ring, Cedric had kept his calm. Under the water.. in the maze. In life threatening situations, his eyes had never looked crazy. He was never out of his mind. He never panicked, no matter how dangerous it got. And he never made others panic. His calm was infectious. Which is why, even this close, Harry didn't feel his heart thump louder or his breathe catch in his throat.
Maybe he didn't need the answers to everything. Maybe not then, maybe not ever. As soon as he had thrown off the blanket of lies he had been telling himself, and let himself breathe, and just be, Harry knew what it meant to be in the moment. And maybe he was too young to know what he wanted. Now. Later. In ten years. Next week. With the Army. But something, Harry thought, something had always been there at the back of mind.
There was a reason the sorting hat placed in him Gryffindor. Bravery was a choice. And at that moment, it was bravery he chose. What was there to lose?
Harry shifted his weight slightly to his toes, angling his face upwards. Licking his lips once, he inched closer to the lips he had so often seen Cho kiss. He understood the fire in him at last. It wasn't Cedric he was jealous of.
Harry felt Cedric's breathe on his lips. Why hasn't he moved ?? He didn't dare lift his eyes. The blue eyes boring into him were too much already. He couldn't back away now. He closed his eyes, and leant in.
His first thought was, wow. Cedric has some really soft lips.
Secondly, this was his first time kissing someone.
Thirdly, he had no idea what to do next.
Harry stayed there, frozen. Cedric's lips were surprisingly warm, and they tasted very slightly of the chocolate frogs the had had during practice. But that wasn't only it. Harry tried to put his finger upon it. Almonds ? No. It was... Just Cedric.
Harry pulled away. He felt stupid. Not only had he done something stupid, he had done it in the most stupid way imaginable. Cedric was looking at him. He could feel it. Harry took a step back. He didn't dare look him in the eye. What was he thinking ? He could hear Cedric breathe. How far was the door ? If he could make a dash fo...
Harry felt big, soft hands grab his face and pull him in. The same lips he had pressed against a few seconds back were on him again and Harry felt himself melt. His knees gave way but surprisingly he kept standing. Cedric was kissing him with purpose and Harry simply followed suit
Cedric's hands crept up from his cheeks and found their way onto his jaw, resting there. He mouth was soft, and Harry could feel the sleeves of Cedric's robes on the exposed part of his neck. That, and the way Cedric's mouth pushed and moved against his own were the only things grounding him right now. Unbeknownst to himself, Harry had started moving his lips in sync with the blonde haired boy's.
Cedric pulled away first. His lips were slightly swollen, and ever so more slightly damp. Harry wanted to reach out and lick them, bite them, suck on them, anything, but Cedric's voice made him look up.
"Why'd you do it ?"
Through a haze in his brain which made it extremely difficult for him to think, and even more difficult for him to speak, Harry could sense he was being teased. It wasn't the kiss the boy opposite to him was talking about.
"I love you"
When their lips met this time, it was fervent. Harry has to hold on to Cedric's robes to keep from falling, or to pull him closer, he doesn't know. Cedric laces his fingers through his dark strands, messing it up even more than it usually is. His friends will never let him live this down, he thinks. Cedric's lips part and he takes a swipe against Harry's bottom lips. Harry opens up, and Cedric's wastes no time pushing his tongue in his mouth. Harry doesn't try to fight. He simply lets a breathy moan escape his lips when Cedric ever so slightly pulls on the hairs at the nape of his neck.
The sound seems to bring them both back. Breathing heavily, they look at each other. They are both at a loss, yet they know exactly what they did, and why they did it. Harry has a hard time tearing his eyes away from Cedric's mouth when he hears him speak.
"I love you too"