The Fall

“Sirius, if you step on my foot one more time–”

“It’s not my fault,” Sirius cuts James off in a rushed whisper, “We can’t all fit under this anymore.”

“That’s why Peter is currently Wormtail!” James hisses. “I don’t even understand how you’re managing to step on me from the other side of Remus. There’s actually no need– it’s purposeful– you’re doing it on purpose.”

Sirius scoffs and, proving James’ point, squishes into Remus to kick the back of James’ heel.

“You dick!” James jerks to reach for Sirius, but Remus easily keeps them separated.

“Shut up!” Remus whisper-yells. “Both of you! We’re going to get caught!” Wormtail squeaks in agreement from his spot on Remus’ shoulder.

If it wasn’t obvious, all four of them are huddled impossibly close under the invisibility cloak; roaming the castle on their way back to their dorms after rigging the Slytherin’s common room door to set off dungbombs anytime someone opens it. They’ve discovered that they’ve definitely outgrown the invisibility cloak– Sirius reckons it can really only fit two of them now.

Still, it was Sirius’ idea to pull a prank tonight. It’s a simple one; they always start with little pranks and work their way up to the bigger ones throughout the year, but he’d be lying if he said he suggested it just to fuck with the Slytherin’s.

Truthfully, Remus has been distancing himself lately. From Sirius, that is. Sirius has no idea what he did wrong, and it’s not like he can ask when Remus disappears the moment Sirius thought he found him. So, he came up with this little prank, got James to suggest it to Remus, and now they’re here; stuffed under the invisibility cloak.

That said, with Remus in the middle and with the limited space under the cloak, Sirius has no choice but to be pressed right against Remus’ shoulder, and he reckons maybe his heart shouldn’t be this fluttery over something so small. He can hardly focus– which is a crucial part of being in charge of the Marauders Map.

“I’m not even sure why we need the cloak,” Remus points out, “We have the map.”

“Yoo-hoo!” An echoey voice hollers from above, freezing them all in place.

Sirius whips his head towards the Marauders Map, and– sure enough; Peeves’ name is right in front of them. Sirius was too focused on everything Remus to even notice. Typical. He drags his eyes back up, spotting Peeves, who hovers above him.

Peeves pinches the invisibility cloak, at the top of Remus’ head, and starts lifting it.

James rips the cloak off, “Peeves!” He hisses. “What the hell!”

Peeves shrugs, unphased. “You should be thanking me.” He turns so he’s laying on his back; still in the air with his hands clasped behind his head and eyes closed. “Your arse was sticking out.”

Sirius snorts and just barely dodges James’ retaliation swing.

“You weren’t paying attention, either,” James points out, crossing his arms a little too smugly. “Care to explain why?”

“Just thinking about your mum,” Sirius quips in spite of his ever warming cheeks.

James quirks a brow. “Oh, really?” He asks. “I can’t wait to tell her about this little exchange.”

“Don’t you dare.”

James grins. “That’s what I thought.”

They turn back to Peeves, who’s still laying horizontally in the air. Sirius isn’t really worried about Peeves– he’s easy to bribe, for one, but for two, he’s usually part of their pranks, so snitching on them would be counterproductive.

Peeves splits one of his eyes open, then sits up. “Loony Loopy Lupin,” He sing-songs, narrowing his eyes at Wormtail. “What have you got there on your shoulder?”

Remus stares. “A rat.” He replies blandly.

“Just any old rat?” Peeves asks. He glides his eyes across the three of them before settling back on Remus. “You’re missing one.”

“He’s sick.” Remus deadpans; fitting Peeves with an unwavering blank stare.

“Is he, now,” Peeves arches a brow. He tilts his head from side to side, the bells on his hat jingle with the movement. “Or is he sitting on your shoulder after your illegal animagus trials.”

“Oh, what do you care about legalities, Peeves?” James waves him off.

“I don’t,” Peeves agrees with a nod. A mischievous grin curls up his cheeks, “but I’m sure you do!”

Remus holds his stare for a beat; Peeves’ grin grows. Sighing, Remus relents and digs through his pocket. “I’ll give you these bang snaps if you shut up.”

Peeves gasps with a clap of his hands. “Deal!” He exclaims, holding his hands out expectantly.

Remus cracks a grin of his own and dumps a pile of bang snaps into Peeves’ awaiting palms. Immediately, Peeve slams one on the ground. A loud SNAP echoes off the empty walls, followed by his manic laughter.

James hastily covers them again, “He’s going to get us caught!” He hisses.

The three of them link hands as they race down the hall; Sirius forces himself to focus on the map and not the sparks zipping up his arm from Remus’ hand. They don’t stop running until they stumble through the portrait door and into the common room; all three of them bend over their knees and gasp for air.

Wormtail hops off Remus’ shoulder and morphs back into Peter; grinning from ear to ear.

James shakes Remus’ shoulder with a grin, still bent over, “you’re brilliant, Moony.” He pants.

Remus breathes a laugh, “It’s why I always carry around bang snaps.” He shrugs.

It’s a familiar scene; the four of them catching their breaths in the common room after pulling a prank. So familiar, Sirius almost forgets about the distance between him and Remus the past few days.

It’s only when everyone begins retreating to their dorms does Sirius remember.

He quickly locks his hand around Remus’ wrist, holding him back while James and Peter continue up the stairs.

Remus startles, looking at Sirius then dropping his eyes to his hands. “You’re cold.”

Sirius blinks. He certainly doesn’t feel cold with Remus’ touch.

“I’m always cold.” Sirius replies.

“Why?” Remus asks.

Because his mother is very fond of the Crucio Curse, Sirius thinks. Of course, he doesn’t say this. Instead, he just shrugs; noncommittal and trying not to focus on the tingling feeling dancing up his arm– Focus!

He tugs at Remus’ wrist so they’re properly facing each other.

Remus frowns, confused, “What is it?”

Sirius clears his throat, flitting his eyes to the wall then back to Remus, “I’m just wondering if we’re okay,” He says, quick and quiet.

Remus sighs and looks towards the stairs. He drags his gaze back to Sirius. “We’re fine.” Well. That’s unexpected enough to send Sirius’ heart tumbling down to his stomach.

Remus would otherwise be impossible to read if Sirius didn’t grow up assessing every single tell of everyone around him. Remus is good, he has hiding his feelings down to a fine art, one Walburga would probably applaud. But Sirius can spot any crack in a mask, no matter how minuscule. He knows what every lip twitch and furrowed brow could mean; he’s collected all of Remus’ tells on a little shelf in his mind. This, however, is different.

Remus has been short with Sirius a good few times– it’s only natural, with Sirius’ loud personality and his talent for fucking things up– but never like this. Sirius can always pinpoint exactly what he did wrong to be on the deserving end of Remus’ passive aggressiveness. Now, however, he hasn’t the faintest clue.

Sirius frowns. His hands tighten around Remus’ wrist. “Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Remus asks, flat.

“I don’t know,” Sirius replies, a little more bitter than he attended, “That’s why I asked.”

“And I said we’re fine.” Remus replies shortly.

Sirius furrows his brows. “Then why have you been avoiding me?”

“I’m not avoiding you.” Remus says, far too quick.

Sirius’ frown deepens. “You have been.”

Remus releases another sigh. “I’m tired,” He says, wriggling his wrist out of Sirius’ grip and leaving him cold. “I’m going to bed.”

He leaves without another word; leaving Sirius alone and confused. This is all so sudden– and while Remus isolating himself when he’s angry is common, Sirius can’t think of anything he’d be angry about.

Sirius glares at the floor; frustration is quick to catch up to him.

If he did something wrong, he’d like to know what so he could fix it, but he’s sure he hasn’t done anything. Nothing that should affect Remus, anyway.

Well– Remus could have figured out one of Sirius’ many secrets– but– no. Sirius is too careful. He hasn’t spent his entire life being paranoid and secretive only for it to fail him now. Unless someone told Remus, he can’t know anything.

Then again, the possibility of someone outing him to Remus isn’t low.

That thought alone is enough to flip Sirius’ stomach upside down. Enough dread floods his system to make his knees weak.

He curls his fingers over his chest, where his heart pounds harder than it should, and swallows down his nerves.

He has to find out what Remus knows.

Sirius is slumped at his spot at the lunch table, picking idly at his food. He’s surrounded by a gaggle of girls— most of which aren’t even in Gryffindor— and he can’t help but feel he isn’t worth all this attention. Especially considering he’s hardly treating them fairly, considering he’s using them to pass. Then again, he supposes if they all know about each other, they must not really care.

Really, he just wants to catch Remus so they can properly talk about what the hell is going on.

He’s exhausted, having been kept up nearly all night with panic swirling his mind. He tried thinking of any possible thing he could have done to piss Remus off, hoping to find something that wasn’t Remus somehow Finding Out– but his mind kept circling back to his mess of secrets and how fucked he’d be if this is the cause for Remus’ sudden silence.

So, his only option is to confront Remus. Again. Unfortunately, Remus was gone when Sirius woke up this morning. Then he was missing during breakfast. And since today is a weekend, he’s essentially impossible to find. Even with Sirius checking every one of his little hideouts, it’s impossible.

He’s been staring tiredly at the door to the great hall since lunch began, to no avail.

Surely Remus won’t skip lunch— he never skips lunch. If anything, he takes his lunch somewhere else.

“What are you doing?” James’ voice knocks Sirius to the present. He squeezes himself between Sirius and… Lauren? He thinks? Much to her dismay. James merely rolls his eyes at her theatrics as she stomps off. “You’ve barely touched your food. Or paid attention to your… friends.” He glances around the group of girls that have claimed seats at the Gryffindor table.

Sirius sighs and stabs his fork into his eggs. “Remus has been avoiding me.”

James hums, like he already knew this, and Sirius frowns.

“You knew?” Sirius asks. James hesitates, but nods. “Do you know why?”

James glances Sirius' way, then behind him, then turns back to his plate, “Why don’t you ask him?”

Sirius whirls around, spotting Remus just as he leans over beside one of the girls to grab some food.

“Moony!” He calls, tearing himself away from the bench. He ignores someone's whining and moves to Remus’ side, a little more desperate for his attention than he means to be.

Remus barely bats him a glance before reaching for a few scones. “Yes?”

Sirius frowns, noticing Remus isn’t planning on sitting down. “You’re not eating here?” He asks.

Remus glances at his would-be-spot, now claimed by Clair (Sirius thinks) who’s glaring up at Sirius for abandoning her, then looks back up at Sirius. “No,” He replies simply, turning without another word.

Sirius’ frown deepens. He hurries to catch up to Remus, ignoring his name being called from behind; all his attention being (unsurprisingly) claimed by Remus.

Remus slows to an even pace when they’re out of the Great Hall, allowing Sirius time to catch up.

“What did I do?” Sirius questions, more desperate than he means.

“Nothing,” Remus assures in a way that is anything but assuring.

“But—“ Sirius is cut short by his name being called close behind. He doesn’t miss Remus’ eye roll or his hastened footsteps, but he doesn’t get a chance to question it before someone is latching onto his arm.

“Sirius,” Clair says, “You can’t just abandon me like that.” She pouts.

Remus is already halfway down the corridor– Sirius is losing him.

Quickly, he turns and grabs Clair’s hands, “Clair, you’re brilliant,” Sirius assures hastily. Clair blinks up at him, confused. “But believe me, you deserve better, okay? I have to go,” He drops her hands and bolts after Remus.

“Wait!” Clair calls after him. “Are you breaking up with me?!”

Sirius spins, still running, and yells: “We were never dating!” before whirling back around and turning to the next corridor.

He stops short; staring down the empty corridor in quiet defeat.

Remus has evaded him once again.

A string of curses tumble from Sirius’ mouth. He sweeps his hands through his hair and pulls at the ends. Frustration boils his blood to the point he kicks the wall closest to him. Dread coils in his stomach; he tries desperately not to think of the worst, but it’s all he’s ever been good at doing.

“Woah,” The sound of his dead name sends his back rigid. He turns sharply, glaring at the person responsible– and of course it’s Lucius.

See, in an ideal world, Sirius wouldn’t have known any of his family growing up– or, really, anyone who’s close to his family. Unfortunately, he grew up around a mess of cousins and rich family friends, which resulted in plenty of them knowing him before he came out. Most of them luckily got left behind in Paris. However, some of them, like Lucius, didn’t.

Lucius smirks, far too smug to be facing Sirius when he’s already boiling over. “Did the wall offend you personally?” He asks, with the grating sound of Sirius’ dead name tacked to the end.

Fire spills on Sirius’ tongue. “Say it again.” He challenges; voice low with clear threat.

Lucius gets through the first syllable before Sirius is tackling him to the floor; throwing hits on muscle memory alone. Searing pain burns up his fists but Sirius’ mind is too hazed to register it.

Exhaustion from the long night dwindles his reaction time for Lucius to land a good few hits. Unfortunately for Sirius, Lucius has also learned a thing or two from their countless brawls, and with Sirius’ exhaustion and distracted mind, Lucius manages to kick him off and gain the upper hand.

Sirius expects him to pull out his wand, but clearly he’s grown accustomed to fist fighting and throws countless hits down on Sirius. Pain bursts through his skull; he blocks his face with one arm and blindly throws hits with the other, but he barely makes contact.

In a desperate attempt for some upper ground, he grabs his wand from his boot and shouts “Flipendo!” Shoving Lucius off him and harshly into the wall.

Sirius scrambles to his feet, spelling Lucius’ wand away when he fumbles for it, before promptly shoving his wand under Lucius’ chin.

“I should obliviate that word from your vocabulary,” Sirius spits, staring down at Lucius with a calm fury he inherited from his mother.

Lucius pushes himself further into a wall in a futile attempt to escape Sirius’ wand; his lip twists into a scowl. “Do it, then,” He challenges through a snarl.

The words are on his tongue, and really, he might have, if it weren’t for the sound of footsteps rushing down the corridor.

For good measure, Sirius balls his fist and punches Lucius square in the nose; pain sears up Sirius’ arm while Lucius yelps and slams his back further into the wall. Sirius jumps to his feet and sprints away from the sound of footsteps.

He slumps against a wall when he knows he’s out of their vicinity; his breathing frayed. Fierce pain skitters over Sirius’ ribs and stitch up his sides; he’s unsure if it’s from Lucius or if it’s from the bandages. He huffs, more annoyed than anything, and wipes the blood from his lip.

They’re getting bold. He has to be more careful.

More importantly, he has to find Remus.