It had been just over a month since Lucy returned from her position aboard the USS Ronald Reagan. Four months away felt like an eternity, and she was eager to reclaim the time she'd missed with her family. During the first week back, everything felt as if nothing had changed. Her relationship with Kate was as steady and fulfilling as ever, her bond with Ernie still filled with inside jokes and shared snacks, and the dynamic between Kai and Jesse remained the perfect balance of banter and bromance. It was a relief. Her greatest fear upon returning was finding that everything had changed completely.
In those first few days, Lucy threw herself into work, striving to be as helpful as possible with the NCIS cases under investigation. She volunteered for every task, poured over case files, and made herself indispensable. But when the workday ended, she dedicated every spare moment to Kate.
When she accepted the position, Lucy had anticipated the time apart would be hard, but the reality was far worse than she imagined. She knew the distance would test them, but nothing could have prepared her for the ache of being miles away, surrounded by nothing but ocean and duty. The poor signal, the time zone differences, and both of their busy work schedules made it impossible to maintain a regular calling routine, which only made the longing worse.
When she finally came home, she stayed as close to Kate as she could. Even at work, they found little ways to carve out time for each other—sharing lunch between cases or sneaking off for a quick coffee break in the afternoon. They spent their nights curled up on the couch, catching up on all the shows they had promised to watch together.
But it wasn’t just lazy evenings and takeout. Their time together was fiery, physical, and unapologetically intimate. It was as if they were rediscovering each other's bodies, re-familiarizing themselves with the scents, tastes, and sounds they had missed so much. Lucy would say it was one of the best, if not the best, weeks of her life.
But even the sweetest honeymoon can’t last forever. As the days passed and the rhythm of daily life returned, Lucy began to notice subtle changes—small shifts that hinted not everything was the same. The first cracks appeared at work, during her second week back.
Lucy hurried into the bullpen, it was her first day back on a regular schedule since Tennant had allowed her some flexibility during her first week. She was running late because she had stopped to buy coffee for her coworkers. They had an agreement—each day, one person was responsible for bringing coffee for everyone in the office, and today was Lucy's turn. She loved doing it and never saw it as a chore. It was something she took very seriously, because as everyone knew, her love language was expressed through food (or, in this case, coffee).
But when she arrived, the bullpen was eerily empty. She frowned, scanning the space. “Did everyone decide to be late today?” she thought. Determined to find someone, she headed to Ernie’s office and found him glued to his computer screen.
“Morning, Ernie!” she greeted him, but he didn’t even look up, completely absorbed in whatever he was doing.
Lucy approached and noticed he had a cup of coffee on his desk.
“Why did you buy coffee if it’s my day to bring it?” she asked, confused. Ernie looked away from his screen for the first time to answer her.
“You know that arrangement only existed because of you, Luce. After you left, we just started using the coffee machine in the kitchen.”
Lucy blinked. “But you all hate that machine coffee. I distinctly remember you saying your grandmother's chamomile tea was stronger than that stuff.”
“Still is” Ernie admitted with a grimace. “But ever since you left, no one bothers to bring coffee anymore. it's more convenient this way, and we don’t have to wake up as early.” He reached over, grabbed one of the coffees Lucy brought, and took a sip. His smile spread instantly. “But I’ll admit, this is much better.”
Lucy stood frozen for a moment, processing this information. She hadn’t expected the team to abandon their coffee rotation while she was gone. In fact, she had just realized they only used to do it because of her, and she wasn’t sure whether to feel special or guilty about it.
Setting her thoughts aside, she glanced around the room again. “Where is everyone, anyway?”
Ernie hesitated, the slight pause making her suspicious. He shifted uncomfortably.
“Ernie,” she pressed, crossing her arms. “Where’s Tennant, Jesse and Kai? Don’t tell me they’re out on a mission without me.” A familiar pang of disappointment surged through her chest.
Her friend avoided her gaze, pretending to be focused on the screen again. It was an obvious attempt to dodge the question. “It’s no big deal, Lucy. Tennant will explain later,” he said.
“Later?” Lucy crossed her arms, clearly irritated. “Are you kidding me? This is my first official day back, and I’m already being left out?”
Ernie sighed, realizing he couldn’t avoid the conversation. “It’s not that, Luce. It’s just… complicated. Tennant thought it was better not to involve you right now. It was her decision, not mine.”
Lucy felt her heart race as countless questions flooded her mind. “Does Tennant not trust me anymore? Did I do something during my last mission that upset her? But what could it have been?” She tried to recall anything she might have said or done to displease her boss.
Lucy had always felt a strong need to earn Tennant's approval, to prove she was a skilled agent and make her proud. The thought of possibly disappointing her in some way made her heart ache. The wave of insecurity washed over her, overwhelming and relentless. Before she could continue pressing Ernie, the sound of the door opening interrupted her.
Jane Tennant walked in, her expression unreadable. She had probably overheard their conversation. “Lucy, can we talk in my office?” She asked, leaving no room for refusal.
Lucy clenched her jaw, grabbed the coffee tray, and followed Jane without a word. Once inside the office, Tennant closed the glass door and motioned for Lucy to sit.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Lucy asked before her boss could say anything.
“Lucy, the first thing I need you to know is that this has nothing to do with trust.” Jane said, her tone steady and calm as she met Lucy’s gaze. “I had to make a decision, and I felt it was best not to involve you in this particular case—at least for now.”
“For now?” Lucy replied, her voice tinged with frustration. “I spent months away, working my ass off for an opportunity you encouraged me to take. And now that I’m back, I’m being benched?”
Jane sighed, choosing her words carefully. “This case is delicate. It involves undercover agents and ongoing operations that started while you were gone. For the safety of the mission and yours, I couldn’t risk sending someone new into the field without full context.”
Part of Lucy understood her reasoning and knew it made sense. But another part of her was still hurt. It was the first time since joining Tennant’s team that she felt discarded, and she hated that feeling.
Noticing that Lucy was still upset, Jane spoke: “I understand how you feel, but my decision wasn’t about doubting your abilities. My trust in you hasn’t changed. But the circumstances of this case required me to act cautiously. I’m sorry.”
Lucy uncrossed her arms and looked directly at her. She felt the weight of Jane’s words finally sink in and sighed. Her frustration faded into shame as she realized she had overreacted.
“I’m sorry, boss” Lucy said, avoiding eye contact. “When I realized you had gone out on a mission without telling me, I got frustrated and ended up taking it out on you.”
Jane smiled gently and rested a hand on her shoulder. “I get it. And for the record, I’m glad you’re back. It’s going to be great to have you on this case, but you need to get up to speed first.” Tennant explained. “I need to make some calls now, so head back to Ernie’s office and ask him to brief you on all the mission details. I’ll fill you in later.”
Lucy stood up, still a little embarrassed, and reached for the door.
"Lucy” Jane called just as she was about to step out. She gestured toward the cups in Lucy’s hand, her expression playful as she said, “You forgot my coffee.”
“Oh... Right... Sorry” Lucy said, a bit flustered. But she smiled as she handed the cup to her, grateful for how Jane had managed to ease the lingering tension in the room with that simple gesture. It was one of the many superpowers Tennant had, and one Lucy deeply admired.
After this incident, Lucy joined the team in working on the case. Although everything seemed fine since then, an odd feeling lingered with her in the weeks that followed, and some unexpected events only added to her growing sense of discomfort and not belonging.
Lucy had arrived home early that evening, eager to make the night feel a little more normal. She took a quick shower, ordered pizza, and opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio. She knew Kate had been struggling with a tough case at the FBI, one that had been exhausting her, and wanted to make sure the table was set when she came in. Lucy put the pizza in the oven to keep it warm, her mind focused on making the evening as comforting as possible.
When Kate finally stepped through the door, Lucy instantly saw the exhaustion on her face.
“Hey” Lucy greeted her softly, walking over to kiss her on the cheek. “How was your day? Any progress with the case?"
Kate let out a long, frustrated sigh as she dropped her bag by the door. “Tough”, she muttered. “Feels like the more I dig, the farther back I go. Curtis is getting antsy too. This case is huge, and the pressure from D.C. is only making it harder.”
Lucy took Kate’s hands in hers, offering a warm smile. “Don’t worry, baby. You’re going to figure it out. If there’s anyone who can crack this, it’s you. Curtis knows there’s no one better than you.”
She gave Kate’s hands a reassuring squeeze, hoping to bring some light into her tired eyes.
Kate smiled back and squeezed Lucy's hands in a silent thank you for the support she was receiving. She thought about how much she'd missed this, Lucy had the ability to turn any storm into a gentle breeze. Her gaze then shifted to the dining table, set with wine glasses, and she furrowed.
“You set the table?” she asked, trying to recall if they’d made any special plans for the night.
Lucy grinned and replied, “I noticed how tired you've been every night from work, so I wanted to pamper you a little. I ordered pizza for us and opened your favorite wine. Afterward, I can give you one of those massages you love.”
Kate was caught off guard; she hadn’t expected the surprise. She had planned to have dinner at Jane’s place, like they did every Friday since Lucy had left. With everything going on at work, she had forgotten to tell Lucy, and now she felt guilty. But it was too late to cancel on Tennant.
“Lucy… you're amazing, you didn’t have to worry about me” Kate said, her tone sincere, tinged with a hint of guilt. “I should've told you earlier, but I got caught up with all the work stuff… Tonight, I’m having dinner at Jane’s... you remember, girls' night?”
During some of their phone calls while Lucy was away, Kate had mentioned going over to Jane’s house to chat, have dinner, and spend time together, which she referred to as 'girls’ night.' Before Lucy left, she had asked her friends to keep an eye on Kate and make sure she didn’t isolate herself. So, when Lucy found out that her girlfriend’s friendship with Tennant and the guys had grown closer, she felt happy and grateful knowing that Kate had built a support system while she was away.
“Yeah, of course, I remember...” Lucy replied, her smile now a bit weaker. She felt a pang of disappointment at the news, but didn’t want Kate to notice. “I think it’s best if you take a shower, it’s getting late, Tennant is probably waiting.”
Kate took a quick shower and put on some casual clothes. When she returned to the living room, she saw that her girlfriend had cleared the dinner table and was sitting on the couch with a slice of pizza in hand, watching a replay of a football game.
“Hey, I’m leaving,” she said, drawing Lucy’s attention away from the TV. “Save some pizza for me, please?” she asked, giving her a quick kiss goodbye.
“You know I can’t promise anything” Lucy replied, teasingly.
When Kate returned home that night, Lucy was already asleep. A few slices of pizza were wrapped up with a note that read, “Just because I love you,” sitting on the counter. She smiled when she read the note, put the pizza in the fridge to eat the next day since she wasn’t hungry, and then joined her girlfriend in her sleep for the night.
Lucy realized that day that her girlfriend’s friendship with her boss had grown closer than she had imagined. Despite Kate knowing many people and being an endless source of connections, she didn’t have many close friends. The few she still kept in touch with were old friends from the time her brother was alive, but none of them lived on the island. That’s why seeing this friendship blossom, truly made her happy for the blonde.
However, over the following weeks, and without fully understanding why, it started to bother her a little. Every Friday, without asking if Lucy had planned anything for them, Kate would head to Jane’s house as if it were a fixed commitment, one Lucy was never invited to. The agent knew the jealousy was silly and unwarranted, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit left out.
But it wasn’t just the situation with Jane that triggered Lucy's jealousy. Over time, she began to realize that her girlfriend had formed a different kind of bond with each of her friends, something deeper than what they had before Lucy left for her trip. At first, it was more of a surprise than a discomfort for her. Lucy never imagined Kate and the guys would hit it off so well. Since they had started officially dating, that kind of closeness had never really happened, at least not with this intensity.
In fact, it had been Lucy who asked them to look out for Kate while she was away. But, she was expecting calls to check in on how she was doing, invites for drinks after a tough case, occasional hangouts at Jane’s house, and maybe some lunch breaks together.
What Lucy didn’t expect when she returned was to see Kate waking up early every Saturday to go surfing with Jesse and Kai, coming back with a big smile, always with some funny story about them. She also didn’t expect to see Kate and Ernie seeming like best friends, making plans for RPG sessions at his house that took place every two weeks and lasted for hours, making the blonde arrive home in the middle of the night. She never imagined she would witness Jesse handing her girlfriend a bouquet of flowers. According to him, it was a gift from Heather, thanking Kate for helping Jake study for an English test, which he had managed to get an A.
All of this was very confusing for Lucy. It felt like she had boarded a spaceship and returned to a completely different reality. “Maybe Marvel was right, and the multiverse does exist for real”, she thought when she saw Jesse handing over those flowers.
In none of those situations Lucy question Kate or their friends. She didn’t want to create tension or, even worse, make her girlfriend feel bad or guilty about a feeling that she herself couldn’t fully explain. Her return had brought genuine happiness to Kate, as if she had become whole again, and Lucy could see it in her eyes and in the lightness of her behavior. She knew this happiness stemmed from the sense of belonging to a family, of looking around and seeing people she could trust and be vulnerable with, something Kate hadn’t had in a long time, not since she lost her brother.
Lucy didn’t want to take that away from her, certainly not over some silly jealousy. However, as the month passed, that feeling grew stronger in her mind and heart. She felt incomplete, as if the bond with those people had been fractured, creating a small crack—almost imperceptible, but it was there, and Lucy could feel it growing.
The more this feeling deepened, the harder it became to hide, and Kate began to notice her discomfort, despite Lucy’s efforts to cover it up with her laid-back attitude and funny comments.
The first time Whistler realized something was off was when she went to the bullpen to help the NCIS with an investigation.
As Kate got closer to the guys during the months Lucy was away, she ended up discovering that she and Kai had a lot in common. Besides the fact that both of them had gone through the trauma of losing someone they loved tragically, they also connected through being more introspective, their love for the sea and surfing, and their passion for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. This created a strong bond between the two, and a sense of brotherhood that, although still in its early stages, Kate had only felt with one person in her life before.
Because of this, they started having lunch together a few times a week, always with the idea of trying out a new, healthy restaurant.
It was because of this that, that morning, just like she had done many times before, Kate made that invitation to her friend:
“Hey, Kai. Tracked down that vegetarian barbecue food truck I was telling you about.” Whistler said as she came down the stairs and approached his table.
“Grill Me Now? Shut up.” He responded excitedly.
“It's, like, ten minutes from here. You want to go grab a quick lunch?”
“Oh, sure. I'm dying to try it.” Kai stood up, already planning to go find his lunch.
“I also need lunch.” Lucy, who had been following the conversation from a distance, spoke up.
“Then you should come.” Kai invited, not seeing any problem in having her join them.
“Except you hate vegetarian food.” Kate said, confused. She thought that was strange; Lucy had never shown interest in trying vegetarian food. Every time the blonde invited her in the past, the brunette had responded with a grimace that clearly said, "No, thank you."
“That's not true at all. It's just something I never eat.” Lucy made an indignant face.
“Well, we could go someplace else.” Kai suggested, by now just wanting to eat anything.
“No, it's fine. Let's get wheat-germ sandwiches.” Lucy insisted, with a challenging tone, while Kate couldn’t take her eyes off her, studying her carefully.
“Hey, I-I...” Kai tried to say something, visibly uncomfortable to be in the middle of that conversation.
“Oh, don't worry about it, Kai. She's just a little weirded out by the depth of our friendship now…”
“No, I'm not.” Lucy contradicted.
“Especially since it's rooted in food.” Whistler completed. Her ability to read Lucy’s emotions always surprised the brunette, but she wasn’t going to admit it.
“Because it's totally my thing.” Lucy responded, confirming Kate's suspicions. Then, to cover up the situation, she said, “But I'm glad you like Kai, he's fantastic.”
“It's just... He was your friend first” Kate pointed out, noticing her girlfriend’s jealousy.
“Mm-mm” Lucy shook her head.
“And you think I'm gonna like him better than you.”
“Mm-mm.” She shook her head again.
“Kai…” Whistler called him seriously, shifting her gaze from her girlfriend to him. “I don't like you better than Lucy.” She said in a firm tone, making her feelings clear to the brunette, but secretly amused by the innocent jealousy.
Since then, Kate had started to notice some sudden mood shifts in Lucy and had tried to ask her about it a few times, but the brunette assured her that everything was fine and that Kate didn’t need to worry.
Even though she doubted Lucy’s answer, Whistler didn’t press the issue. She knew Lucy didn’t like being pushed to talk when something was bothering her, so she decided to wait until she was ready to open up.
“Maybe it’s just some silly jealousy, like what happened with Kai” Kate thought. Lucy had always been a jealous person, so it wouldn’t be surprising if those feelings resurfaced after months of being apart.
On the other hand, Lucy couldn’t stop feeling increasingly guilty, even foolish, for acting that way. “Stop being so childish, Lucy. You’re not the same person who needed your parents’ or siblings’ approval to feel loved” she scolded herself inwardly.
She knew she was loved by her friends and could picture a beautiful future with Kate, building a family together. But that didn’t seem to be enough to calm the turmoil inside her. “Why do I always have to complicate everything?” she wondered, exhausted and frustrated by her inability to find answers to her insecurities.
To prevent her inner conflict from becoming more obvious to those around her and to avoid further tension with Kate, Lucy decided to shut herself off. She started controlling her reactions more carefully whenever an unexpected situation with her friends or her girlfriend made her feel jealous or uncomfortable.
On the outside, her sunny, lively personality remained the same, masking the inner turmoil she was going through. She thought that, in time, she would just move past these feelings. But she was wrong.
It was Sunday, and Jane had invited everyone over for lunch at her house to celebrate Julie’s birthday. The house was full—Kai had brought his dad and his dog, Inoki; Jesse came with his whole family; and even Chase and Pike were there.
While Kate helped Jane, Kai, and Heather in the kitchen, Chase and Ernie were chatting casually in the living room about some random topic. Outside, the kids were playing with Inoki, and Lucy had the support of Pike and Jesse in her mission to prepare a Texas-style barbecue, all while being watched closely by Kai’s dad, who was laughing at the trio’s clumsy attempts to light the grill.
“Pike, you’re using way too much fluid. Are you trying to set the house on fire?” Jesse warned him.
“And it’s still not working.” Pike replied, pointing at the grill. “Do you think the charcoal might be wet?”
Lucy rolled her eyes at his comment. “Unless the supermarket where I just bought this charcoal had a flood last night, no, the charcoal is not wet, Pike.” she said, her tone impatient, but inside, she was enjoying the whole situation. It was the first time, since her "surprise" party, that she felt truly comfortable around her Ohana. Everything felt just like old times, and that brought her a sense of comfort she hadn’t felt in a long time.
The lunch went by in a very relaxed way. Lucy stayed busy with the barbecue, laughing at Jesse and Pike’s awkward attempts to help, while Kai’s dad gave them practical instructions. It seemed like things were finally falling into place for her.
Later, Jane gathered everyone to sing happy birthday to Julie and cut the birthday cake. Afterward, the friends decided to sit and chat for a while before heading home, as it had already started to get dark. It was then that, at one point, Jesse casually mentioned:
“Hey, guys, who else is excited for the weekend at North Shore?” he asked, excited.
“I’ve already reserved my board to compete in the surf tournament” Kai said, grinning. “Kate’s going to be our partner this year!”
Whistler shook her head, laughing. “Only you guys could convince me to join in on this.”
Lucy, who was about to take a bite of her cake, froze in place. “What are you guys talking about?” she asked, completely confused.
“It’s the Surf and Music Festival at North Shore” Kai explained. “We’ve been planning to go for a while. It’s super fun, even Ernie agreed to come with us.”
Lucy furrowed her brow slightly, but before she could ask more, Ernie added, “I only agreed because you told me there’s live music and good food.” He explained. He then turned to his friend and said with a smile: "Lucy, you should come with us."
“I should...?” she repeated, discomfort clear in her voice.
Ernie seemed to realize his slip-up too late. “Oh... I mean... Of course, you’re coming now that you’re back...” he said awkwardly.
“Shit, I thought I told you, Luce. I’m sorry.” Jesse apologized, feeling a bit embarrassed, since he had been the one to bring up the topic.
Lucy forced a smile, but the weight of being forgotten hit her hard. “No, no one invited me. But it’s fine, it sounds fun... I’ll think about it, you know surfing’s not really my thing.”
Kate noticed the tone in her girlfriend’s voice and looked at her with concern, but Lucy quickly looked away and returned her focus to her plate, ending the conversation.
“I think that’s enough for today, right, guys?” Heather called, diverting everyone’s attention and the tense atmosphere that had settled in. “Jane’s too polite to kick us out, but I want to remind you that everyone here works tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry, Heather, you guys can stay as long as you want,” Tennant assured her.
“She’s right, it’s getting late. Kai... Let’s go, son?” Mr. Holman called.
One by one, people began to say their goodbyes. Kate and Lucy were the last to leave, offering to stay a bit longer and help Tennant clean up.
The hostess took advantage of Lucy being with Julie, helping her gather the remaining items from outside, to talk to Kate about what had happened moments earlier.
“Kate, is everything okay with Lucy?”
Immediately, Whistler stopped what she was doing and let out a long sigh.
“I don’t know. She’s been acting strange lately. Every time I try to bring it up, she dodges the conversation, says she’s fine, that I’m just imagining things.”
“What kind of strange behavior?” Jane asked, curious.
“Jealousy issues, mood shifts… One minute, she’s laughing at something I or one of the guys said, and then, out of nowhere, she shuts down. Like what happened this afternoon.”
"Have you thought about what might be causing these mood shifts?" Jane asked gently.
"Of course I have” Kate was quick to respond. “At first, I didn’t think much of it. Lucy’s always been a little jealous, even with friends, so I didn’t take it too seriously. I thought it was something silly, something that would pass."
Jane raised an eyebrow. "Well, by the way she reacted after Ernie's comment... I don't think it's just a passing thing." She hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I’m not trying to meddle, but as your friend—and as Lucy’s friend—I think it’s important I give you a little advice. You need to talk to her. And if she pulls away, don't let it go. Make sure she doesn't shut you out."
Kate let out a deep sigh and shook her head, frustration seeping through her. "Trust me, I’ve tried. Everyone thinks I’m the closed-off one between us, but Lucy? She’s a fortress when it comes to her emotions." She glanced over her girlfriend, who was outside, blissfully unaware of the conversation.
"Then you’ll have to be the one to make the first move. Don’t let the lack of communication push you apart again." Jane advised.
"There’s still so much I don’t know about her.” Kate lamented. “I love Lucy more than anything in this world, we’re perfect together in so many ways, but when it comes to communication... that’s definitely not our strong suit."
Before Tennant could respond, Lucy walked in with Julie, interrupting their conversation.
After helping to organize the house, the couple said their goodbyes and left.
The drive back was filled with a heavy silence. Lucy’s mind kept returning to Ernie’s careless words, her insecurities rising with each passing second. Kate was distant too, lost in thought, Jane’s advice echoing in her mind, like a constant hum.
When they finally reached home, Lucy excused herself to the bathroom, needing space to gather herself. She felt overwhelmed, like the weight of the day was pushing down on her chest.
Noticing the long time Lucy was spending in the bathroom, Kate grew concerned. She knew that ritual well. Whenever Lucy was bothered to the point of not wanting to talk, she’d isolate herself somewhere in the house, just like she was doing now.
Unable to stay silent, Kate gently knocked on the door. "Luce... You’ve been in there a while. Everything okay?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.
Lucy wiped her eyes, brushing away the tears, afraid Kate would see her in that state. She took a shaky breath, trying to pull herself together before answering. "I’m fine. Just... feeling a little sick. I think I ate too much."
“Lucy Tara... feeling sick because she ate too much? I never thought I would hear that one day.” Kate joked, her voice light, trying to cut through the tension in the air.
Lucy gave a faint, melancholic smile and sighed heavily. She knew exactly what Kate was doing, and that meant this was only the beginning of a long night. She was certain her girlfriend wouldn’t drop the subject until it was resolved, and honestly, she didn’t want to put it off any longer, either.
Before stepping out, she washed her face to try and erase the evidence of her tears. She already felt stupid for breaking down like that, and definitely didn’t want Kate to notice she’d been crying.
When Lucy stepped out, she found Kate sitting on the bed, her gaze fixed on her, as if reading every tiny detail of her face. The intensity of that look made her uneasy, and she quickly lowered her head, a flush of embarrassment creeping up. Sometimes, the way Kate could pierce through her soul and read her like an open book, made her feel vulnerable in a way she wasn’t always comfortable with.
Without saying a word, Kate stood up and walked over to her. Gently, she cupped Lucy’s chin, tilting her face up to meet her gaze. “Talk to me, Luce”, she said, her voice soft but firm.
That simple plea was enough to make Lucy’s resolve crack. A tear slipped down her cheek, but she quickly stepped back, needing a moment to regain control. If she didn’t, she wasn’t sure she could have this conversation at all.
“Tell me, what happened?” Whistler asked gently. “You’ve been different, and I’ve noticed it for a while now. Your mood shifts, the jealousy about my friendship with Jane and the guys... You know you’re the most important person in the world to me, right?"
"I know, Kate... Of course I know," Lucy murmured, her voice faltering. "But that’s not what’s bothering me."
“Is this about the festival?” Kate asked gently. “Luce, nobody meant to hurt you. I think… I think everyone just got used to doing things without you while you were away."
“Exactly!” Lucy’s voice rose, frustration bubbling to the surface. "You all got so used to doing everything without me. And now I’m back, trying to find my place, but the more time goes by, the more I feel like I don’t belong anymore."
Kate stepped closer, her hand instinctively reaching out for Lucy’s arm, but Lucy flinched away. “I know it’s jealousy, Kate. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it. Everything changed while I was gone, and I’m trying, but it feels like I’m always one step behind.”
Whistler watched her carefully, her expression softening. “I know better than anyone how hard it was for you being away for those months. It was hard for me too, very much so. And maybe, in the process of trying to move forward, we made you feel left out without even realizing it. But you’ve never stopped being a part of this, never. You’ve always been the heart of the team” She paused for a second to read Lucy's reactions. “We all knew you’d come back, and that everything would make sense again.”
Lucy bit her lip, avoiding Kate’s gaze. "I just... I just wish it could be like before" she whispered, the words heavy in the air between them.
Kate fell silent, the weight of Lucy's words hanging in the air between them. After a long pause, she spoke, her voice soft but steady. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about how close I've gotten with your friends. If it's bothering you that much, I can step back."
Lucy stared at her, shocked and incredulous at the suggestion. "What? No... of course not, Kate. I would never ask you to pull away from our friends because of me."
You just told me you're struggling with how things have changed since you’ve been away, and part of that is because I've become closer with the guys, and in a way, changed the dynamic between you all. I can't let you feel this way because of me."
“Please, stop...” Lucy commanded, her voice firm. “No one here is going to distance themselves from anyone. That’s not what I want, Kate. It never was.”
“Okay...” Whistler responded, but there was still uncertainty in her tone. “So what can I do? What do you need from me so you don’t feel like this? I don’t want us to pretend everything’s okay when it's not."
Lucy swallowed hard, her chest tight. She didn't have a simple answer. In fact, the truth was painfully clear: "Nothing." Kate hadn’t done anything wrong, nothing that needed fixing. The issue was entirely with Lucy herself. But how could she explain that? How could she make Kate understand when she herself didn’t know how to make sense of it all?
"The problem isn’t you, Kate," Lucy began, her voice quiet but steady. "It’s not your friendship with my team, and it’s not even my trip. The problem… is me." She hesitated, then added with a bitter laugh, "I’m too complicated, too closed off, too insecure. Always have been."
"Luce…" Kate’s voice softened, her hand reaching out instinctively. She hated seeing her like this, carrying the weight of so much self-doubt. That wasn’t the Lucy she knew. The Lucy who, one day, looked her in the eyes, with the most confident expression Kate had ever seen, and said: 'You know, I actually feel sorry for you… Because I’m amazing, and you’re totally missing out.’
Lucy shook her head, cutting her off. "No, Kate. It’s true." She exhaled shakily, her words spilling out in a rush. "Every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve managed to mess up. Always. And the worst part? I don’t even know why. If you asked me to explain it, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t know where to start."
"Don’t do this," Kate said, her voice almost pleading. She tried to move closer, but Lucy took a step back, putting more distance between them. She seemed almost in a trance as she spoke, her eyes meeting Kate’s but somehow distant, filled with pain.
"I can’t stop, Kate. I can’t stop thinking about how I ruin everything. I don’t know why I felt jealous of you and Kai that day. I don’t know why it upset me so much when I found out the team stopped bringing coffee to work after I left. And I have no idea why seeing you all so close, doing things together, makes me feel like I don’t belong anymore. I just… I don’t know."
Her voice broke on the last words, and the silence that followed was suffocating. Kate stood frozen, her eyes locked on Lucy’s. The vulnerability in her girlfriend’s voice was like a dagger to her heart.
Kate swallowed hard, her throat tight. How had she not seen this? How had she failed to notice what Lucy was carrying all this time? She prided herself on being perceptive, on her ability to read people. It was a skill she used every day in her work. But with Lucy—the person who mattered more than anyone—she’d missed it entirely.
Lucy’s shoulders tensed as if bracing for an impact that hadn’t come yet. Every nerve in her body screamed at her to leave, to put distance between herself and the weight of Kate’s impending words. But her feet stayed rooted to the floor, refusing to obey the flight response buzzing in her mind.
Kate watched her carefully, measuring every hesitation, every flicker of emotion in her expression. The silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating, until she finally spoke.
“May I come closer?” Kate’s voice was steady but soft. She didn’t want to frighten Lucy or make her feel more uncomfortable than she already was.
The brunette gave a small nod, barely moving her head. Gently, Whistler approached and placed a hand on her shoulder. She paused, waiting to see if Lucy would pull away again. When no rejection came, she wrapped her in a hug. The embrace was firm but gentle, filled with an unspoken language that only the two of them could understand.
A silent apology. One that said: “I’m sorry for not noticing your pain sooner. For not being the person you needed me to be at the right moment. For looking at you but not truly seeing you the way you needed me to.”
Lucy’s resistance crumbled like a sandcastle against the tide. She collapsed into Kate’s arms, her body trembling as she allowed herself to let go of the armor she had been carrying for far too long. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt safe, not just physically, but emotionally too.
The realization struck her like a lightning bolt. She had been searching for answers, for something to anchor her amidst the chaos of her emotions. But the answer had been here all along, in the warmth of Kate’s arms and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
When they pulled apart, Kate cupped Lucy’s face gently with both hands, ensuring their eyes remained locked. Her voice was soft but carried the weight of unspoken emotions.
"Can you forgive me for not realizing how much you were hurting?" she asked, her own eyes glistening with tears threatening to spill.
Lucy offered a tender smile, one that brimmed with understanding. "There’s nothing to forgive, Kate. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. How could I expect you to see me when the walls I built were so high? I mean… you’re tall, but not that tall."
The playful comment drew a genuine laugh from Kate, one that momentarily lifted the heaviness in the air.
"Still," Kate continued, her tone softening again, "I should have known it wasn’t just innocent jealousy or some passing frustration. You were struggling, and instead of easing that burden, I made it heavier." She exhaled deeply, her voice trembling slightly as she went on. "Your walls are high, Lucy, but I should have tried harder to see past them. I let myself believe everything was fine because I was fine. When you came back, it was the first time in so long that I felt whole again. I had our friends, my work, and you. It all felt perfect. But that blind contentment stopped me from noticing the cracks underneath. I knew we still had things to work on, that there were conversations we hadn’t had, but I ignored it all because of this false sense of security."
Lucy listened in silence, her gaze unwavering, absorbing every word. When Kate finished, Lucy leaned in, closing the small space between them, and kissed her. It was unhurried and deep, carrying a weight of emotion that didn’t need to be spoken.
“We make quite the pair, huh?” Lucy said after they pulled away. A small, wry smile tugging at her lips.
“We do,” Kate agreed, her voice soft but steady.
For a few moments, they didn’t say anything else. Their gazes held, unspoken truths and newfound understanding passing between them like a silent promise.
“So... what do we do now?” Lucy asked, finally breaking the silence.
“We talk,” Kate replied firmly. “From now on, neither of us is going to hold back what we’re feeling—no more hiding to protect ourselves or each other. We’re a team, Luce. And just in case there’s still any doubt, I fully intend for us to stay that way for a very, very long time.”
Lucy’s smile widened, her eyes softening. “I love you,” she said, the words carrying both a confession and a vow.
“I love you, too,” Kate replied without hesitation. She leaned in and pulled Lucy into a kiss, slow and deep, a moment of connection that seemed to stretch far beyond the seconds it lasted.
After that long conversation, both of them decided it was time to go to bed. It was late, and they were physically and emotionally drained, aware that there was still a long road ahead. Lucy’s insecurities were like open wounds that needed to be treated, and they would have to do this together, without walls or disguises to hide the problems. With their hearts at peace and their minds calm, sleep came quickly. For the first time in a long time, Lucy fell asleep knowing that whatever ghost she carried inside her, she no longer had to face it alone.
The next morning, when Lucy arrived at work, she was surprised to find a cup of coffee on her desk. It was from the café Ernie used to go, the one where he would bring coffee for the team before they stopped that little ritual. Along with the cup, there was a note that read:
“The best friends are like the best coffees; they make your day lighter and your heart warmer.
Thank you for being my best coffee, Luce!
Ernie.”
Lucy smiled as she read the message. Ernie wasn’t the type to show affection easily. He always carried that air of indifference, but it was just a way to hide the big, generous heart he had inside. She knew that gesture was his way of apologizing.
After drinking her coffee and sending a thank you message to her friend, she got started with her workday. Jesse and Kai arrived shortly after. When they saw her, their expressions changed. There was a mix of guilt, shame, and unease in their faces. They exchanged a quick look, and as if silently agreeing, they both approached her desk at the same time.
Jesse was the first to speak:
“Good morning, Luce,” Jesse greeted her, his voice slightly hesitant. “I was wondering if I could... I mean, if we could talk to you for a second?” He gestured toward Kai, who was standing next to him.
“Of course!” she replied immediately, sensing it was something important.
“We just wanted to apologize... not just for yesterday, but for all the times we messed up these past few weeks” Jesse began.
“Guys, seriously, you don’t have to…”
“Yes, we do, Luce”, Kai cut her off. “Until last night, at Tennant’s house, we didn’t realize just how terrible we’ve been as friends to you.”
“He’s right” Jesse agreed. “I think after you left, we got into some new habits that only made sense while you weren’t here. And when you came back, we just kept going, without thinking about how that would affect you.”
“It wasn’t intentional,” Kai assured her. “It’s just... having you around feels so natural, we didn’t even notice how much our routine had shifted while you were away.” The two of them spoke in sync, clearly trying to explain themselves as best as they could.
Lucy listened attentively, staying quiet. She could tell from their expressions that they were nervous and genuinely felt guilty. She decided not to interrupt them, letting them finish.
“About the North Shore festival... I swear I thought I’d told you about it” Jesse said, embarrassed. “The truth is, we started planning to go while you were gone, and so much has happened since then that I just kind of assumed you knew.”
“When we realized we hadn’t mentioned it, it was too late” Kai added, looking at her earnestly. “I imagine you must’ve felt excluded. I know I would’ve if I were in your shoes.” He stopped for a moment before saying, “I’m really sorry, Lucy.”
“I’m sorry, too” Jesse asked in an emotional tone. “I would never intentionally make you feel left out. You’re like a little sister to me.”
With her eyes glistening with tears and moved by their honesty, Lucy gave them a wide smile before pulling both of them into an awkward group hug.
“I love you guys, and of course I forgive you. I know you didn’t mean any harm, but thank you for apologizing anyway.”
“We love you too, Luce,” they both replied in unison.
A few days later…
The six friends stood on the beach, waiting for Kate, Jesse, and Kai’s turn to hit the water. The sun was shining brightly, and the waves were rolling in beautifully—perfect conditions for surfing. Well, perfect for everyone except Lucy.
“You’re all insane. Look at the size of those waves!” Lucy exclaimed, her tone laced with genuine alarm.
“They’re perfect for a good barrel ride” Jesse said, practically vibrating with excitement.
“Kate, I don’t think this is a good idea. The ocean looks wild, and what if you get hurt?” Lucy added, her worry evident as she clutched her arms tightly across her chest.
Her concern earned a round of laughter from the group. To Lucy, any wave over a foot high was a legitimate threat.
“Relax, baby, I’ve done this a million times. I’ll be fine” Kate said with a reassuring smile. Then, leaning closer, she added teasingly, “But if I do get hurt, at least I know you’ll be there to patch me up.” She followed it with a quick kiss on Lucy’s cheek.
“That’s not funny!” Lucy said, her face serious, though her cheeks had turned pink.
About an hour late, the group was gathered to cheer on their friends. Kate was the first to compete, opening the women’s heat. Later, it was the guys’ turn, with Jesse going first, followed by Kai. Although none of them made it to the podium, they all had a great time. Lucy, who had been reluctant at first, eventually got into the spirit and began cheering, especially after seeing Kate emerge from the water soaking wet.
“I’m grabbing ice cream. Who’s in?” Ernie asked, standing and brushing sand off his shorts.
“Chocolate for me” Lucy said immediately, perking up at the idea.
With their ice creams in hand, the friends settled back onto the warm sand, chatting and people-watching as the day began to wind down.
“This was way more fun than I expected” Jane admitted, a soft smile playing on her lips.
“I’ll second that” Ernie said. “Great food, great music, this stunning view… and, of course, the bikinis.”
“Oh, please” Lucy groaned, rolling her eyes.
“Don’t think I didn’t catch you checking out Kate when she got out of the water” Ernie teased.
“Yeah, but that’s different—I was checking out my girlfriend. You’re just being a creep” she shot back, making everyone burst into laughter.
“Seriously, though, this was awesome” Kai said. “We should make it a yearly tradition.”
“I’m in” Lucy said, nodding. “But, guys, next time, can’t we pick a less dangerous activity? Like… I don’t know, mountain biking, rock climbing, maybe even skydiving? At least I could join in without having a panic attack.”
“Right, because chasing armed suspects and going head-to-head with guys three times your size doesn’t already give me enough heart attacks.” Kate said.
"Look on the bright side, baby. Life with me will never be boring" Lucy teased, throwing her a playful wink.
The group laughed, used to their playful bickering by now. Tennant smiled warmly, her gaze sweeping across her friends. “It really was a great day. And having everyone here… it feels right. Like our Ohana is finally whole again.”
Lucy’s chest tightened at Tennant’s words. For so many years, she had been searching for exactly what she now saw in the eyes of each of these people: acceptance. Every one of them held a special place in her heart, and she couldn’t be more grateful to have found them.
"I love y'all" she said softly, her voice thick with emotion. "Thank you for letting me be part of this Ohana.”
They lingered on the beach, sharing laughter, swapping stories, and weaving moments that would one day be treasured memories. Lucy leaned back, her toes buried in the sand, and let her gaze drift across the faces around her. Each smile, each glimmer of affection in their eyes, felt like sunlight warming her soul.
And in that moment, with the sound of waves crashing in the background and the warmth of her family surrounding her, Lucy knew she was exactly where she was meant to be.