‘Hermione, I am in need of a squid biologist,’ Neville announced when he sat down in one of the comfy chairs that were now part of the new Headmistress’ office.
They had agreed that when they were alone, they would forego the Headmistress and Professor nonsense, as they had been friends for too long to let a stupid title come between them.
‘What do you mean by a squid biologist and why do you need one?’, Hermione asked with a frown, while pouring a cup of tea for them both.
She knew that Neville had gone to visit the resident Giant Squid, after they had found that bizarre handwritten addendum to that old library book ‘Hogwarts, a Dark & Forgotten History’.
She thought it was most unprofessional of Snape and Lupin to have kept that whole business to themselves.
She could somewhat sympathise with their predicament when they were students. Merlin knows that Harry, Ron and herself had kept many a secret from their teachers in their day, but when they were professors in this very school, they should have told Dumbledore or some of the staff.
Not that it mattered much, as they were all gone now. At least Remus had the good sense to write it down. Imagine some poor innocent student having to go through that in another, what would it be, forty, fifty years. She made a mental note to establish when exactly the next ‘squid mating session’ was due.
Best to plan for such eventualities, she supposed.
She turned her attention back to Neville.
‘Run that by me again? You want to engage a squid biologist, you say, whatever that this, to start some sort of squid research project, because ‘Snape’s offspring’ is bored and sad?’
Despite her best efforts, she could not keep the look of distaste off her face when she mentioned the biological product of her former Potions professor and the Giant Squid.
‘Technically Marwood is not Snape’s biological son. Snape was merely the surrogate dad and a not entirely voluntary one at that,’ Neville replied.
Ever since they found Lupin’s notes on the ‘conception’, if you could call it that, the pregnancy and the subsequent birth, Neville had done quite a bit of reading and thinking on the subject.
‘I suppose the squid biologist could do one of those DNA tests to confirm this beyond any doubt, but from Lupin’s notes, I do not think there was any exchange of bodily fluids prior to or after the impregnation. Reading between the lines, there may have been something between Snape and Lupin, but that is just speculation on my part.’
He hated having to talk about this subject with Hermione. She might be one of his best friends, but they had never before talked about sex, and he was not very comfortable talking about that subject at the best of times. Not that he was a prude, he just was not very experienced and would hate to make a fool of himself.
‘Also,’ he continued, ‘you cannot blame Marwood for the circumstances of his conception.’
Hermione sighed.
‘I know, I know, and I am sorry. You know that I am a big supporter of equal rights and being in charge of your own body and accepting all genders, sexual orientations, pronouns and all that, but that is not as easy when one of the parties is a Giant Squid.’
She sighed again.
‘Remind me why I let myself be talked into taking over as Headmistress of this school?’
Neville grinned.
‘Because running the Ministry was boring as hell, and you love this school as much as I do.’
‘Indeed, Professor Longbottom, well said.’ The voice coming from Dumbledore’s portrait startled them both.
‘And I would prefer you not to discuss my sexual encounters for your amusement, Ms Granger and Mr Longbottom,’ another voice interjected, a voice that could still sent shivers down Neville’s spine and reduce him to a blubbering teenager.
Neville looked at Hermione accusingly. Had she forgotten to use the Muffliato Charm? Oh for Merlin’s sake, how could she be so stupid.
Note to self, cast Muffliato Charm in future as soon as you enter the Headmistress’ office.
Hermione looked embarrassed. As a muggle-born, she sometimes forgot that paintings were more than just paintings.
‘Sorry,’ she mouthed silently to Neville.
‘Anyway, how is Marwood?’ Snape continued, his voice taking on a somewhat kinder tone.
‘He,’ Neville stammered, ‘He is fine. He took the death of you and Professor Lupin, quite hard and he is a bit lonely and misses his chocolate treats.’
‘That was all Remus, I have you know. He was the sentimental one.’ Snape’s statement wasn’t as convincing, as he might have hoped.
‘We better continue this conversation some other time, Neville. I believe you have a class to teach and I need to have a word with the kitchens about dinner,’ Hermione said and they both got up and left the office.
When they were downstairs in the hallway, Hermione said, ‘I am so Sorry, I completely forgot that they were there,’ before Neville had the chance to give out to her.
‘Maybe next time we discuss Marwood, we will do so in my greenhouse,’ Neville said.
‘I can’t believe I mentioned the exchange of bodily fluids in front of Snape,’ he groaned, before heading off to his herbology class.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
‘If you think I am going to take any pastilles or potions to breathe under water purely on your assurance that it is perfectly safe…Sorry, but I prefer to take my chances with tried and tested technology.’
This was not the first disagreement between Neville and the Squid biologist, they had engaged.
First there was the none-disclosure agreement that he had been reluctant to sign.
‘But this could be a major scientific discovery and, as a scientist, I am obliged to publish such findings …’
‘You can publish anything you like for our library, but it cannot leave these grounds.’ Both Hermione and Neville had been quite firm on this.
Only the threat of getting another squid biologist, eventually resulted in his signature on the non-disclosure agreement in accordance with the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy.
Neville was not sure whether Hermione had added one of her jinxes to the agreement.
Merlin help the squid biologist if she had and he decided to ignore the non-disclosure agreement.
Then there had been the discussion about the ban on mobile phone use within the Hogwarts grounds and now the expert, Neville had moved heaven and earth to get here, was refusing to use his perfectly safe underwater breathing infusion.
Neville felt a headache coming on.
‘Fine, use your scuba gear, if you must, but the students who will be assisting you, will be using my tried and tested Gillyweed and Lakegrass infusion.’
‘Marwood better be appreciating all the attention,’ Neville thought, as he had it up to his tonsils with this guy, squid biologist, or no squid biologist.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Neville and Hermione had selected four students for this squid biology project.
As it happened, there was one student from each house. A very nerdy second year Ravenclaw student, called Caitlin Summerville, who had read more herbology and biology books in her first year than Hermione even knew existed. The second student was a first year Gryffindor, Steward Landon, who had been selected as a swimmer for Team GB before his Hogwarts letter arrived. He had asked permission to keep up his training regime, while in Hogwarts and he would be a perfect addition to the small team. By introducing him this way to Marwood and some of the other lake dwellers, his twice daily training sessions may be more acceptable to them.
Hermione and Neville, who had recently been appointed Deputy Headmaster, did have some lengthy negotiations with the Mer-people assuring them that they were not trying to infringe on their rights, but were simply asking that this young swimmer be allowed to keep up with his rigorous Olympic training schedule.
The third student, Jo Parkinson-Smyth, was a sixth year Slytherin, who had asked to be given a chance to work with DNA sequencing, as they were interested in pursuing a career in medical biology.
Ever since the war, students were branching out into muggle careers. A career in the Ministry was no longer as desirable a profession, as it once was.
As a result, the Hogwarts curriculum had been amended to include all the required maths and science subjects that were part of the muggle school curriculum, as well as modern languages. It made for a very full curriculum, as there were also still all the wizarding subjects, but Hermione was never one to shy away from a challenge, and the scheduling of classes was indeed a challenge at times, as was the recruitment of teachers who were both wizards and proficient in such academic subjects.
The final student, a Hufflepuff, was chosen for her innate kindness and intuitiveness. She reminded them a lot of Luna Lovegood. Celeste Harper was a fourth year and had been observed talking to the Thestrals in the forest and she had even managed to coax a unicorn to come near enough to be petted. She looked absolutely nothing like Luna and had none of the dreaminess of their friend. In fact Celeste was a bit of a tomboy and had a mass of red, short cropped curls and a friendly face full of freckles. It was hoped that her natural empathy would be a help when dealing with Marwood.
Of course that was not the only reason these four students had been chosen. In addition to the features that made them unique for the project, they all had an above average intellect, were able to swim and were proficient in telepathy, which would be a useful means of communication under water and was apparently how Snape and Marwood used to communicate. Neville had added some Dirigible Plum extract to the Gillyweed and Lakegrass infusion to enhance their natural telepathic abilities even further.
‘Not my problem,’ Neville had answered huffily, when Hermione asked how the squid biologist was going to communicate with the students under water.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The squid biologist, was actually a very nice guy and he got on well with his little group of research students.
Marwood had initially been uncooperative and the first two diving sessions into the lake had been a bit of a bust.
Before the third session, Celeste suggested she go down by herself first, Steward could come down as her diving buddy, if he maintained his distance.
That day Celeste approached Marwood in her usual non-threatening manner, which she used with all beings, and offered him a chocolate frog.
After they had talked telepathically for a while, Marwood seemed to be agreeable to meeting the rest of the team.
After another few sessions, and a few more chocolate frogs, he was even agreeable to give a sample of his DNA.
From this point onwards, Jo and the squid biologist spent most of their time in the laboratory and it was left up to Celeste, Caitlin and Steward to undertake more telepathic fact finding and to get to know the real Marwood.
The main reason for this was to ascertain whether the cycle of forced impregnations could be broken and whether there could be a different way for Giant Squids to procreate without endangering unsuspecting students every 100 years.
It was quite clear from their conversations that this particular Giant Squid was very aware of free will and knew right from wrong. His two dads had made sure of that.
The question of course remained whether nature would trump nurture when that time came and whether the trauma of the death of his two dads would cause a reversal in this 'humanisation' process that had been started with the attention his dads had lavished on him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
‘I am happy to report…,’ the squid biologist started and upon correctly interpreting the look between Jo and Celeste, he said, ‘I mean, we are happy to report that first of all Marwood is 100% Giant Squid. The DNA evidence did not show any traces of human DNA.’
While this did not come as a huge surprise to Neville and Hermione, it was still a relief to have this confirmed.
This was the final report of the small group, who had been reporting to the Headmistress and Deputy Headmaster on a weekly basis over the past number of weeks.
After the disastrous first meeting between Neville and Hermione in her office, all meetings were conducted in Neville’s private greenhouse, which he used for research, but which also had a nice comfortable conference room.
‘We can further report that Marwood is in good physical and mental health. Talking with the students over the past few weeks has helped him enormously in dealing with his grief.
We would recommend that regular, possibly weekly, visits be maintained to ensure that Marwood continues to feel a connection with the wizarding world.
While, as a squid biologist, I cannot in good faith recommend feeding chocolate frogs to a marine animal, it does seem to be something he has taking a liking to. However, if you are going to continue to indulge that somewhat bizarre habit, I would caution moderation.
Marwood appears to be a very sociable creature and responds well to outside stimuli. Being on his own all the time would be detrimental for his health, as it would be for any being.
We do not believe that in his current state Marwood poses a threat to the students.'
Hermione and Neville heaved a sigh of relief.
'However,' the squid biologist continued, 'there is no guarantee that history will not repeat itself. We cannot in good faith definitively state that nurture will be stronger than nature. In fact I personally would wager that there is a good chance that nature will trump nurture when the time comes. Given the fact that this species only procreates once every one hundred years, I suspect that when that time comes, it will be a very powerful primal urge that may not be easy to ignore or overcome.
After some long debates, we recommend that Hogwarts look into some sort of telepathic signal blockers and squid-frequency sound blockers when that time comes, to prevent this from happening again.
Not all of the group are in agreement on this, some feel that a volunteer should be identified around that time who would be willing to be a surrogate. There may be some merit in this.
Now that we know the process and the risks, a medically supervised renewal cycle could be argued. From the notes that were left, the actual impregnation appears to have been performed without any physical violence and posed no real danger to the surrogate, other than being under water. The subsequent pregnancy also appears to have done no harm to the surrogate. Therefore the only real danger would be the birth, but with modern technology, a caesarean birth should pose significantly less danger to the surrogate.’
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After the meeting was closed, Neville went for a walk, once again deep in thought.
His feet subconsciously brought him to the lake.
He stood there for a while, staring out over the water.
‘It will be OK,’ said Celeste, speaking softly, as she joined her Professor by the lake.
‘You can’t plan for everything, but at least we can look after him. Marwood understands, you know.
I think his Dads had sort of prepared him. If Professor Snape had been by himself, he would be dead.’
‘He is dead, anyway.’
‘You know what I mean.
Marwood knows that his birth would have killed Papa Severus, as he calls him, if it had not been for Papa Remus being there to save him.
He does not want that to happen to anyone else, even if that means he may be last of his kind.
He will be fine. Just don’t forget to bring him a chocolate frog from time to time.’
They both smiled.
THE END