The Overdue Apology
This wasn’t the first time that Harry had checked in on Professor Snape, admittedly finding it a little jarring that the man hadn’t so much as moved in nearly seventeen hours. Snape slept on his stomach with his face half-buried in a pillow - the exact same position he had been in that morning when Harry had gone to see if he wanted breakfast. Everyone at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place had taken care to keep noise to a minimum that day so that they wouldn’t disturb him, though there didn’t seem to be much danger of that anyway. A dragon descending on the place right about now probably wouldn’t have awoken Professor Snape.
“Let him rest, Harry, he’s exhausted.”
Harry jumped slightly as he turned around to discover Sirius standing in the doorway behind him with an uncharacteristically stern expression on his face.
“I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t dead,” Harry whispered back, only half-joking, as he tiptoed resignedly out of the room.
“He’s fine - it’s just seriously chronic sleep deprivation catching up on him all at once,” Sirius said, closing the bedroom door so gently that it didn’t even creak on its hinges.
Harry nodded his head compliantly. He supposed it was understandable that Snape would sleep an entire day away when given the rare opportunity to do so because adequate rest was a luxury that the Potions Master rarely got to indulge in. If being a teacher and Head of House at Hogwarts wasn’t enough work in itself, Snape also had to contend with the balance of servicing both Lord Voldemort and the Order of the Phoenix simultaneously. He also had the mental exertion of employing his continuous Occlumency defenses in mortally dangerous situations.
“Any word on when Dumbledore is going to show?” Harry asked, as he and Sirius started down the stairs together.
“I have no idea,” Sirius replied honestly. "We don't appear to be high on his list of priorities, do we? He's probably still at the Ministry.”
“I thought he’d have at least come to check in with Tonks considering she was hurt while following his orders,” Harry said, finding the lack of news from Dumbledore to be extremely frustrating.
It wouldn’t have taken much time or effort for the Headmaster to send them an owl, if he’d felt so inclined. Instead, nearly all of the information they had so far on what had transpired at the Ministry of Magic had come from the notoriously unreliable Daily Prophet. The paper had posted a picture of Dumbledore standing tall in the crumbling atrium of the Ministry on the front page of that morning’s edition.
“He Who Must Not Be Named Returns!” the headline had read, so they knew at least that the plan to bring Voldemort out of hiding had been a success.
Tonks had been brought into headquarters late last night after Snape, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had already arrived. She had been standing guard in the Department of Mysteries and had successfully raised the alarm on Voldemort and his Death Eaters infiltrating the Ministry - though it wasn’t without injury.
“Help me out, Sirius,” she called out animatedly, as he and Harry walked into the lively kitchen.
Her bubbly energy was infectious, even with her wounded leg being propped up on the chair in front of her. She was wearing her short hair in her favourite shade of bubblegum pink and had been happily challenging everyone to rounds of Exploding Snap all day to keep their minds off of what was going on outside headquarters.
Tonks’’ right leg had been charred black from a dark curse cast by Bellatrix Lestrange and was still unable to support any weight. Remus Lupin and Mad-Eye Moody had all but had to carry her into Grimmauld Place the night before.
“Sure, what do you need?” Sirius asked lightly, as he sat down at the table next to Hermione, who had her nose buried in “A History of Magic”.
Hermione had barely looked up from the textbook since she’d woken up that morning, busy revising for the OWL next week that both Harry and Ron had already made their peace about failing.
“Remus doesn’t want to come meet my parents tonight,” Tonks complained, glaring daggers at Lupin’s back.
Lupin stood at the counter, stirring a cup of tea with much more devotion than was really necessary. Harry noticed that his ears were slightly pink under the scrutiny and was curious why. It wasn’t as if he didn’t like Tonks - Lupin had been most concerned about her injuries and hadn’t ceased in his attentiveness for a minute since.
“C’mon Moony, why not?” Sirius teased, while Harry walked over to take the empty chair beside Ron. “Andromeda and Ted are both great - Andri was my favourite cousin growing up.”
“He’s being stubborn,” Tonks complained. “I don’t much feel like going anywhere right now either, but Mum isn’t going to leave me alone until I do. She won’t accept I’m fine until she sees me with her own two eyes - Dad’s a little more relaxed, of course, but they both really would love to meet you, Remus. I’ve told them quite a bit--”
“We’ll discuss this later,” Lupin said quietly, looking extremely uncomfortable. “This is hardly the time or the place. They want to make sure that their daughter is truly as alright as she claims. They aren’t looking to have drinks with a werewolf.”
“Why can’t it be both?” Sirius asked diplomatically.
“Because it can’t,” Lupin said tensely, picking up his mug with both hands.
He took a deep breath - apparently to inhale the warmth and aroma of the tea. Perhaps to soothe his weary soul. Harry watched as Sirius’s amused smirk shifted into a look of concern and even Hermione had glanced up from her book to share a knowing glance with both him and Ron.
“Er, an owl arrived while you were upstairs, Harry,” Ron broke the awkward silence that had filled the room.
“Dumbledore?” Harry asked hopefully.
“No, it was from Hagrid.”
“Oh,” Harry replied, incapable of feeling disappointed when worries about Hagrid had been weighing on his mind ever since the attack he’d witnessed from the Astronomy Tower. “What did he say?”
“He just wanted us to know that he’s alright and already back at Hogwarts,” Hermione answered.
“And that Umbridge got the sack,” Ron added happily. “According to Hagrid, getting rid of that old toad was Dumbledore’s first order of business now that he’s been reinstated.”
“We hate her in the auror department just as much,” Tonks chimed in. “Unfortunately, she’s got quite a bit of power so we’ve all adjusted to tiptoeing around her if we want to keep our jobs. Nobody wants to get on her bad side. Of course, if Dumbledore is going after her now then things could change. At least, I hope they will.”
“I shall do my very best, Nymphadora,” an amused voice answered, and everyone looked over in the direction it had come to see Albus Dumbledore standing where he surely hadn’t been a moment ago. Harry half rose out of his seat in his eagerness. He was desperate for information.
“I would have come sooner,” Dumbledore said apologetically, sweeping closer to the table in his favourite shimmery purple robes that were embroidered with moons and stars. “However, I’m afraid that our Minister simply doesn’t seem to be able to settle down to anything at the moment without my assistance. It’s not a good look - to portray someone as a troublemaking old fool and then later beg for their help. I was a little embarrassed for him - I have to admit.”
“Mad Eye doesn’t think Fudge is going to be able to hang on to his post much longer anyway,” said Lupin.
“Yes, he and I are in agreement on that,” Dumbledore replied. “However, I took the high road and have done what I could to help Cornelius today. Whether it is enough for him to hang on to his post is neither here nor there. I don’t have much use for a Minister of Magic at present anyway.”
“Neither do I, sir,” Harry said bluntly, which made Dumbledore smile.
It would be a long time before either of them would be able to forget the year that they had just endured because the Minister had been unable or unwilling to face the truth. Now, suddenly, Dumbledore was once again being revered as the only one Voldemort had ever feared, while Harry was back to being called ‘The Boy Who Lived’ in the Prophet.
“Where’s Severus?” Dumbledore asked, as he sat down in a vacant chair at the table.
“Sleeping,” Harry answered.
From the surprised look on Dumbledore’s face, he could tell that was not the answer he had been expecting. Perhaps Dumbledore imagined Snape would be back at Hogwarts considering both himself and McGonagall were currently unavailable. Or otherwise with Voldemort.
“Do you want me to go get him?
“Not necessary - goodness knows he needs a rest,” Dumbledore answered quickly. “It’s really you and Sirius that I have come to talk to tonight anyway, Harry. Everything else can wait. You all just need to know that Voldemort was successful in retrieving what he wanted at the Ministry last night and that we were successful in ensuring the world finally accepted the truth of his return.”
“A triumph that’s probably going to make everything seem a lot worse,” Tonks said, widening her eyes expressively.
Harry could imagine what she was thinking because he also had the same concerns. How much more damage and pain would Voldemort be willing to inflict now that he no longer would be concerned about operating under discretion?
“Please, Professor Dumbledore,” Hermione said suddenly. “Has there been any update on how Professor McGonagall is doing?”
“Ah, well not really,” Dumbledore answered quietly. “The healers are keeping her comfortable and doing all that they can. I’m feeling very optimistic about her prospects and hope she won’t have to stay in the hospital for too long - although if Minerva had it her way she would have convinced me to break her out of there last night.”
They all smiled at that. Nobody surprised in the least to hear that Professor McGonagall might be a difficult patient. Then Tonks’s grin transitioned into a grimace as she slowly lowered her damaged leg down from the chair and gripped the side of the table, preparing to stand.
“Need to get going,” she explained to Dumbledore. “I promised my parents I’d come home tonight.”
“You don’t require any assistance?” Dumbledore asked concernedly.
“I’ll help you,” Lupin suddenly spoke, setting his mug down on the counter to reach her before anyone else could intervene.
“Thanks,” said Tonks coolly, using his offered arm to pull herself up to her feet. “Do you think this will move me higher in the aurors department, Professor?” she asked, motioning to her wounded leg.”
“It most certainly should,” Dumbledore smiled. “I shall write you an excellent recommendation - a newly qualified auror managed to hold off Bellatrix Lestrange while Voldemort himself infiltrated the Ministry. Not many could make that claim. Though I hope you’re not in too much pain….”
“I’ll manage,” Tonks replied. “It’s better than yesterday. Severus gave me something to get rid of most of the burning.”
“Well then, have a good evening and give Andromeda and Ted my best regards.
“I will,” Tonks nodded.
She waved at the group and as she and Lupin walked out of the kitchen together they could hear her ask him brightly, “so does this mean you are going to meet them?”
“We’ll go wait upstairs,” Hermione said tactfully, when Dumbledore smiled at her and Ron expectantly.
“Thank you,” Dumbledore said kindly, “this shouldn’t take too long.”
Though it was clearly important and not at all in line with what Harry had expected them to be discussing right now because that would have been shared with the other Order members. Sirius seemed to be thinking along the same lines. His hands were gripping tightly to the edge of the table as he watched Dumbledore pull off his spectacles and clean them with the sleeve of his robes.
“Your situation was one of the things the Minister and I discussed at length this evening, Sirius,” Dumbledore finally said, placing his half-moon spectacles back on his face. “To make a long story short, he knows that I have you in my custody and he has asked that I hand you over to the aurors so that a full investigation can begin.”
“No,” Harry said instantly, filled with alarm. “Professor Dumbledore-”
“Don’t worry, Harry, I have refused. Cornelius Fudge is so indebted to me right now that I am pleased to say that even harbouring an alleged mass murderer is something he is forced to look the other way on. They will be reviewing your case, Sirius - a mere technical matter because the evidence now speaks for itself. I won’t surrender you until I am confident that a fair trial will occur.”
“Is that even going to happen?” Sirius asked nervously.
Harry was staring at him in concern, his own heart pounding so strongly in his chest that he was surprised nobody could hear it. The few times Snape had discussed this with him, he had made it seem like Sirius going free was something that would automatically happen once the Ministry was forced to recognize that he had never taken the Dark Mark that identified past and present Death Eaters. It certainly seemed much more complicated than that now.
“I am going to clear your name, Sirius,” Dumbledore said quietly, examining his own folded hands with deepest scrutiny. “I will put forth every effort to accomplish that as soon as possible”
“Right,” said Sirius terseley. “Well, I shan’t get my hopes up.”
“You're skeptical of me, I can’t say I blame you,” said Dumbledore quietly. “I regret not doing what I should have done for you back before you spent twelve years in Azkaban. I should have examined the circumstances more closely then and I didn’t. For that I am truly remorseful.”
His words of apology made Harry recognize perhaps for the first time just how great Sirius’s sense of betrayal in Dumbledore had to have amplified his immense suffering from being confined by him at Grimmauld Place. Sirius didn’t hold the same respect for Albus Dumbledore that most people unquestionably did - and why should he? Dumbledore had once been willing to stand idly by and allow Sirius to be handed to the dementors without even a trial.
“Professor, why didn’t you bother to investigate before?” asked Harry. “Sirius was in the Order. He was working for you.”
And he knew that Dumbledore could have intervened if he’d really wanted to. Much the same way as he had spoken in Snape’s defense to ensure the former Death Eater was granted full pardon. Yet, Dumbledore’s compassion hadn’t gone far enough to at least ensure that Sirius was given a trial. Dumbledore’s brilliant mind had never bothered to consider the incredible love between James and Sirius that would never have allowed for Sirius to give the Potters up to Voldemort. Not until it was too late.
“I don’t have a good answer,” Dumbledore replied quietly, peering down his crooked nose at Harry. “To put it simply, I was much more interested in you and arranging your future, your safety, then I was in examining the details of what appeared to be a solid case against Sirius.”
Harry looked over at Sirius whose expression had clouded at the Headmaster’s words. How difficult it was to contend with your life being destroyed by twelve years of false imprisonment in a fortress designed to wallow its occupants in hopeless despair, all because Professor Dumbledore had been focused on those whose lives he considered to be more of an interest to himself.
“It’s time to right the wrongs of the past,” Dumbledore said quietly, and Harry swallowed a huge lump in his throat as he turned back to look at him. “I have given careful thought to this next matter. Whether it’s even relevant at this moment in time, well that is really only for the two of you to decide.”
“What -” Harry frowned, while Sirius gripped the table top so tightly that he accidentally pulled the entire piece towards himself. The table legs groaned angrily as they were dragged over the floor.
“I am talking about how Lily and James made Sirius your godfather and willed that he be the one to take care of you should anything ever happen to them,” Dumbledore said, with a sigh. “Of course, that isn’t what happened….”
“Because you made me go live with the Dursleys,” Harry replied, struggling to keep the note of accusation out of his voice. He glanced nervously at Sirius just as his chair scraped against the floor and he flashed Dumbledore a murderous look.
“That’s right, you did,” Sirius said contemptuously. “Even if I hadn’t gone to Azkaban - you had already decided what you were going to do with him. To hell with his parents wishes, you knew better.”
Dumbledore’s face was expressionless as he stared mutely at Sirius, who had turned away from him to look imploringly at Harry. “I went straight to Godric’s Hollow once I’d learned the Fidelius Charm had broken. Discovering you alive was a miracle and I never would have left you…only Hagrid arrived there first and refused to hand me Harry on your orders.”
“I understand your pain and frustration with me,” said Dumbledore softly. “However, I had a very good reason for choosing to send Harry to live with his Aunt and Uncle over you, Sirius - that is something that I believe Severus has already discussed with Harry.”
“He told me that I have to call Privet Drive home because Aunt Petunia is my mum’s sister,” said Harry dully.
“Precisely,” Dumbledore nodded his head. “I made that decision with the sole intention of doing what would keep you alive - using my extensive knowledge about how magic works to invoke an ancient protection that would keep your mother’s sacrifice alive, rooted in her closest living relative.”
“But he said I never have to stay the whole summer there again,” Harry added urgently, who wasn’t about to allow Dumbledore to intervene on a good thing. He already planned to drop in on the Dursleys for as short a length of time as he could get away with, before spending the rest of the holiday back and forth between both Snape and Sirius. He was already excited about it.
“Yes, that will still stand,” Dumbledore nodded his head quietly. “I will only support us going forward if you both are in agreement that Harry will go stay with his aunt for the first two weeks of July.”
“Going forward with what, Dumbledore?” asked Sirius sharply.
“Well, naturally once your innocence has been proven it is your legal right to assume guardianship of Harry,” Dumbledore said quietly. “Although perhaps at this stage of Harry’s life, it’s not really important. He’ll be of age in a few short years after all.”
“Of course it’s important,” Sirius said abruptly. “The fact that so much of his childhood was stolen from him does not mean we shouldn’t bother now.”
“Then it’s an easy enough process to take care of once you’re exonerated, Sirius,” Dumbledore replied. “Provided of course that Harry is in agreement, and that Vernon and Petunia Dursley are willing to relinquish custody --”
“That won’t be a problem,” Harry said confidently. He could already imagine the looks of glee on the Dursleys' faces when they learned they were being freed of the burden that was himself at long last.
Sirius had stood up quickly from his chair and walked over to face the wall with his hand over his mouth. It seemed too much to hope for. A dangerous dream. Harry could hardly breathe as he watched him. Overcome by the emotion that someone could feel purely from wanting him. Just when had Harry become the wanted boy? Regarded as a son and loved, rather than resented.
Dumbledore got up and prepared to leave.
“Voldemort is only going to get stronger and as cruel as it is, Harry will be in the center of it all no matter what any of us do. Who am I to stand in the way of a little bit of happiness when facing those odds? I hope you know, Harry, and I hope you will someday be able to believe, Sirius, that I never possessed any ill will. I did what I did to keep Harry safe, and I hate it as much as you do.”