The Element of Surprise
Severus hadn't paused to really contemplate the consequences before giving such a personal piece of himself away. For he hadn’t just given the boy a glimpse of Lily Potter that night- he had shown himself as well. Severus could have ignored Potter’s admission that all he wanted was to know about his mother, but that would have been a cruelty beyond even what he could muster when Lily’s son was staring him in the face and he could no longer pretend that Petunia had adequately filled that void. Words would have failed Severus, but his memory did not. The impenetrable walls he had carefully built around himself had been demolished by such a singular, yet powerful act. Harry Potter never looked at him the same way again after that night, and Severus slowly learned not to mind.
They tiptoed around one another awkwardly in the days that followed. Potter showed himself capable of being polite, respectful, and obedient when he felt like it - or perhaps Severus had simply been too beaten down and humbled to look for faults like he might ordinarily have done. He left the boy to his own devices mainly, while he concentrated on his own recovery; but as Severus began to grow stronger, the days became almost entirely devoted to Occlumency. Harry had kept up his promise to work hard. He was not a natural and the potion continued to do most of the heavy lifting for him, but there was no denying that enough progress was being made for even Severus to be satisfied.
Harry had gotten good at diverting his thoughts to a safer place instead of being swept up in a wave of his own memories whenever Severus cast the Legilimency spell at him. He had also learned how to employ the practice of Occlumency to block his mind to bad dreams at night, which left him feeling sharper and more rested come morning. Though the headmaster had not been back to visit, Severus had kept him informed about Harry’s progress and was expecting to receive the go ahead to bring him to headquarters at any moment. While they waited, Severus had begun devoting a considerable amount of time to teaching him advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, which Harry seemed to prefer exponentially to Occlumency or Potions - it was Severus’s favourite subject too.
“Blocked again and again until you start keeping your mind closed,” Severus smirked, as he leaned lazily against his refrigerator and easily deflected curses from the flustered looking boy.
A disarming spell aimed at him was knocked off course and hit a roll of paper towels on the counter. It fell to the floor and joined the countless other assorted objects in the house that had been thrown around by askew spells. The only room that had been off limits for this mock duel had been the potions lab.
“I thought my mind looked blurry to you,” Harry let out a groan of frustration.
“Yes,” Severus agreed, “but I can still see something like a light turning on everytime you're about to cast a spell - you keep giving yourself away. You know Occlumency, so use it.”
Harry bit his tongue in concentration and made it a point to look anywhere besides at Severus. He shot blue sparks through the air at him and Severus swatted them away as if they were no more irksome than a couple of flies. “Close your mind.”
“I’m trying,” Harry snapped, but Severus blocked his next spell just as easily as all the ones before.
In truth, Severus didn’t even need Legilimency - the boy's reactions were simply too obvious and getting more obvious the longer they practiced and more frustrated he became. Severus had been putting Harry through his paces all evening; first practicing defensive spells singularly and then against himself.
“You’re going to be extremely easy prey for the Dark Lord if you can’t concentrate on two things at once,” Severus said, then gave the tiniest flicker of his wrist and Harry’s wand instantly flew out of his hand and through the air towards himself.
Harry shot him a glare and went to the sink to fill a glass with cold water. He looked exhausted and dissatisfied by his performance. His throat was probably sore from all the incantations he had shouted and his forehead was slick with sweat. He gulped down the water and then set his empty glass in the sink for washing.
“You did well tonight, Potter,” Severus said fairly, handing Harry back his wand. “Just think of what you could accomplish if you applied yourself this much at school.”
“No offense, sir,” Harry said, “but the idea of having to duel You Know Who, is a lot more incentive to work hard than just you getting angry about a poorly written potions essay…I should have been able to get you at least once…”
“You would have, if you weren't so predictable,” Severus replied, as he walked into the living room and settled himself in the armchair - Harry quickly followed. “Your spellwork is good though and your reflexes are exceptional; but what is the point of Occlumency if not to put it into practice when it really matters?”
“But you said most wizards can’t do it,” Harry argued, balancing his wand precariously between his two index fingers as he plopped down on the sofa.
“And most wizards also don’t walk away from a duel with the Dark Lord like you have,” Severus replied. “I’m not sure the usual rules apply to you, Potter. After all, I didn’t anticipate you getting any sort of a handle on Occlumency and you’ve gone ahead and proven me wrong. What you’ve managed to do in the past few weeks is quite remarkable.”
“So, not a complete waste of your time then?” Harry smiled.
“Apparently not,” Severus agreed quietly. “It’s a good start.”
Harry blinked at him incredulously and Severus could hardly blame him - he had been untypically generous with his praise over the past few weeks. He could not fail to notice how the boy lapped it up and seemed to work even harder when there appeared to be a chance at pleasing him. Severus was not lying about his satisfaction though. The truth was that Harry had exceeded all of his expectations for him and the summer had not been a complete waste of time at all.
“Wha - Harry!” Severus exclaimed, the force of an unsuspecting disarming spell successfully catching him off guard as it knocked back his chair and his wand flew through the air.
“Element of surprise, sir,” Harry grinned triumphantly, waving Severus’s captured wand in his hand.
“Indeed,” Severus said, righting the chair as he got back on his feet. “I suppose I earned that?”
“Well, I needed to get you once before the night ended,” said Harry. “I just can't see how I’m supposed to be able to say an incantation while not thinking about it. How do you manage?”
“Learning how to cast a spell without speaking makes quite a difference,” Severus replied, as he sat back down. “That would confuse the average witch or wizard - which the Dark Lord most certainly isn’t. However, you don’t even begin to study non-verbal spells until sixth year. You know I don’t expect you to actually accomplish any of that yet.”
“Hermione could,” said Harry.
“Perhaps, if there were step by step instructions laid out in a textbook,” Severus said coolly, “but, as I've told you before, the Dark Arts don’t obey any book. They surpass logic and never stay the same. You need sharp instincts to stand a chance against them - something you have in abundance.”
Harry smiled and Severus decided he'd make a pot of tea before they retired for the night. He went into the kitchen to prepare the kettle and left Harry to begin picking up the room they'd all but destroyed during their duel. With his encouragement, Harry had been using cleaning and other household chores as an excuse to practice his charm work that summer. Though students weren’t supposed to use magic outside of school, Severus had been making more and more exceptions as the summer progressed.
“Professor?” Harry called. “There's a bunch of owls at the window.”
“Then let them in,” Severus replied, as he selected two cups from the cabinet for their tea.
He was ashamed of how anxious he suddenly felt. When the Hogwarts Supply list had arrived last week, there had been some talk about Lupin accompanying Harry to Diagon Alley, before Severus had gone ahead and ordered everything to come to the house by owl post instead. Now, he was embarrassed to have overstepped so blatantly and he lingered in the kitchen far longer than was necessary; watching from a safe distance as Harry began to rip into his parcels.
There were fresh ingredients from the apothecary, ink bottles, quills, new books, and parchment. Severus had gotten Harry new robes for school in a larger size and then ordered him enough clothing basics to fill his wardrobe and ensure that he never needed to wear his cousin’s old ones again. Being forced to recognize Harry as Lily’s son had made him harder to look at in many ways, but also easier to care for.
“You’ll have to tell me if there’s anything else you need,” Severus said, returning to the living room after much longer than was necessary with two cups of tea in hand.
“What more could I possibly need?” said Harry quietly, staring around at his new possessions with a slightly confused expression on his face. “But I will have to go to Gringotts to get my money.”
“Not necessary,” said Severus simply, as he set a cup of tea down on the table next to Harry’s bundles, hoping it wasn’t about to be upturned by an overly excited owl.
“What do you mean?” asked Harry.
“What I said - not necessary,” Severus replied, his back to Harry as he ran his finger along the spines of the books on the second shelf to the ceiling until he found the volume he was looking for which broke down all the elements of the Wolfsbane Potion. Severus had been using Wolfsbane to fill up his time and distract his mind from its worries as of late. He settled back down in his armchair with the book and a self-inking quill and tried to do his best to appear normal and uninterested in Harry tending to the owls on the living room floor near his feet.
“Sir, one of the owls has a letter for you.”
Severus didn’t look up from the note he was making in his book, but he held out a hand and Harry moved over to his side and placed the letter into it. He finished writing his comment before glancing at the envelope and immediately recognizing the handwriting to be that of Albus Dumbledore. Suspecting this to be a delayed reply to his own letter, Severus immediately felt awash with something akin to disappointment. Though he wasn’t sure yet how to feel about it, Severus couldn’t deny to himself that Harry’s presence in his home over the past few weeks had been tolerable and even sometimes pleasant.
“What are you working on?” Harry asked conversationally, craning his neck to glance at the pages of the open book, which were so marked up by Severus’s cross-outs and cramped handwriting that it was hard to distinguish what it originally said.
“The Wolfsbane Potion,” Severus replied, setting his quill down on top of the book and beginning to tear open the envelope.
“For Lupin?” asked Harry.
“Professor Dumbledore evidently still doesn’t think I have enough to do,” Severus said dryly, “as he’s ordered me to start preparing Wolfsbane for Lupin once again every month. He’s always complained about the taste, so I’m trying to see if I can modify it.”
“I didn’t think you’d care about that,” Harry said honestly, glancing at the printed diagram of a werewolf whose eyes remained indistinguishably human. For that was the beauty of the Wolfsbane Potion. It allowed the drinker to retain their human mind even as their body transformed.
“I don’t care about him,” Severus answered coolly. “But it is a challenge. Something I’m good at. And he’s not the only werewolf who could benefit from my improvements.”
“I think that’s pretty brilliant,” Harry said.
Severus quickly read the note sent by Albus Dumbledore that was overdue by nearly a week. In it, the headmaster praised him for his work with Harry and granted the long awaited permission for Harry to finally be sent to stay at Grimmauld Place.
“Well, I’ve got some good news for you,” Severus said quietly, after reading Dumbledore’s letter a second and third time.
“Oh yeah?” Harry sounded skeptical.
“I let Professor Dumbledore know about your progress and he agreed with me that you could go spend the rest of the summer at Grimmauld Place,” Severus said, tapping the letter with his finger. “This was his reply.”
“Really?” Harry said.
Severus nodded. “You’ll have to keep taking your potion and continue to practice clearing your mind before bed, but I think you'll manage. I'll take you there after breakfast.”
Severus folded the note from Dumbledore over into a tiny square and then slipped it in between some pages of the Wolfsbane book.
“Am I still going to have lessons with you?” Harry asked.
“Maybe once we’re back at Hogwarts, if Professor Dumbledore thinks it’s necessary,” Severus replied coolly. “Why don't you take your stuff upstairs now and pack your trunk?”
The owls had already taken flight back into the night. Harry closed the window behind them and then began to gather up his school supplies and new clothing. Severus sipped his tea and focused on the books in his lap, while Harry went upstairs and then returned far too quickly; changed into one of the new outfits bought for him.
“You’re not done packing yet,” Severus observed, glancing up at him from over his book.
“No,” Harry did not bother to deny this, as he picked up his cup of tea.
“That's likely cool by now,” said Severus. “Come here.”
Harry held his cup out and Severus performed a simple warming charm on the drink. “Did you tell Sirius I’m coming?”
“I think you can handle that yourself,” Severus replied, shutting his book and giving Harry a long-suffering stare. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” said Harry.
“Nothing,” Severus repeated, but did not press the matter.
He left the boy to drink his tea in silence and tried to turn his own attention back to his books before giving it up as a bad job. When he went to return his books to the shelf, Severus glanced out the window, up at the sky, and was pleased to see that it was misty and dark, with a lot of cloud covering. After consulting with Dumbledore, they had decided to allow Harry to venture outside his house to where the protective charms extended.
“Would you like to take your broom out for a last flight?” Severus suggested, knowing before he even asked the question what the answer would be.
What had started as a way to get Harry out of his house for a little while had turned into a regular passtime. Under the protection of a Disillusionment charm and with himself close at hand to ensure security, the boy had been allowed to take his Firebolt out nearly every night it was cloudy. It was pleasant and it was freeing for Harry, and it seemed like the perfect way to mark his last night at Spinner’s End.
“Thank you, sir,” Harry said quietly, as he went to stand in front of Severus to have the charms cast over him. “Thank you so much.”
Severus nodded his head in acknowledgement but had nothing to say. He understood that there was a lot of meaning wrapped into those words; and if he'd had more courage, Severus would have said them right back.