Contentment

"How'd you sleep?"  Oliver's voice purred into Madeline's ear from behind, and she twisted on the spot, smiling at the boy with a bright smile while making the purple rose dissipate from her hands. It's been a week, and while Oliver took every opportunity to sneak up on her just to see her bemused smile play around her lips, making Madeline fall harder for him, a sliver of worry started to spread inside her.

She wanted to know who was sending the damn flowers.  Wanted to know who knew.

"Good. You?" 

"Could have been better, if I'm being honest. But someone has to be up at all hours of the night, finishing their homework."  Oliver told her in an amused tone, leaning in to kiss her.  

"Hey! It's not my fault you're a light ass sleeper Ollie."  Felix yelled from the couch in the common room. The room was mostly empty from students already being at breakfast, and Madeline smiled, loving mornings like these.   

"And it's not my fault you procrastinate on all of your homework. And speaking of that, what are you studying with Percy if you spend your nights doing homework?" Oliver pulled away from Madeline to ask him, and she suppressed a laugh. Oliver didn't want to know, she was sure. She could only picture Felix's face going beet red at that though, and that alone made her chuckle. 

"For tests and shit." The boy on the couch told them both, sinking into his seat on the couch, a potions book opened in front of him.  

Madeline broke from Oliver, walking over to Felix. "I can help you, if you'd like. I don't think your Captain is going to be pleased if you get benched." 

"That's sweet of you. You hear that, Ollie?  Your girl is offering to help me with homework."  Felix winked at Madeline, before looking as innocent as a child when Oliver walked over to them, glaring at Felix. 

"Yeah, and that's too kind of her, if you ask me." 

"Well, good thing she's not asking you." Felix told him, still sporting an innocent look on his face, but his tone playful.  

Madeline shook her head, turning to Oliver. "You hungry?"

"Famished." 

"Then off to the dining hall we go."  She told him and laced her fingers through his. They hadn't told anyone except Percy, Felix, and Madeline couldn't keep it from Eli and Ginny when the two found them snogging on the staircase leading to the girls dorms.  

But, the whole of Gryffindor seemed to know that they were dating by the end of the week, and even though Madeline didn't like the attention, she didn't mind it as much when people only talked about the fact that they never thought they'd see the Captain of the Gryffindor team dating anyone. 

Last week went by in blissful happiness, and her mind would work on overload, waiting for something bad to happen. Even Coralina, who still hadn't cornered Madeline about her unfortunate accident a week ago, hadn't said anything about the two of them dating. Although Madeline did catch the girl glaring at her and Oliver when no one was looking.  

"I'm coming too."  Felix called out and caught up to them, his Potions book still in hand. 

The two boys dived into a conversation about Quidditch, and Madeline listened with enthusiasm, feeling her cheeks heat whenever Oliver would look at her, sporting a kind smile before turning his attention back to Felix and Quidditch. 

It wasn't until she was seated at the Gryffindor table, between Eli and Oliver that Madeline noticed a new Auror switching places with one that was on guard, and her stomach dropped when she saw who it was.  

It couldn't be.  She was sure the last time she'd heard about him, he was stationed in France.  

Caden Bright turned his face, his eyes seeking her out and Madeline felt her throat go dry when he'd found her, her appetite disappearing completely when he raised a brow at her, his face as smug as it had been the last time she'd seen him.  

Facing the plate in front of her, her whole body stiffened, blood running cold. 

What the hell was he doing here? 

Caden was four years older than her and had gone to Durmstrang. Madeline still remembered her twelfth birthday like it had happened yesterday. She remembered being cornered in the hall that led to her bedroom, his cold fingers digging into her shoulders as she struggled to get away from him.  

She had been betrothed to him, in some way, because her father and his parents had been childhood friends, and what a wonderful idea they had come up with when they had a son and a daughter. Unite two families and make their families legacies stronger by it.  

Madeline had pushed all memories of him aside, her mind on constant guard, protecting her.  That horrible feeling in her stomach when he kept telling her to relax, that they were meant to be together, that what he wanted was only normal. She remembered it well.

She had been a child. 

An innocent that he had wanted to ruin. 

Madeline tried to swallow but her throat was dry. She looked at Oliver who seemed to be talking to her. At least she thought he was, because he was facing her, concern and worry written all over his face, but she couldn't hear him. 

Shaking her head, Madeline stood up abruptly, feeling bile coming up her throat, and made her way out of the dining hall, not looking at the new Auror.  

She didn't know how she had made it to the bathroom, but once in there, she let everything out. The old nightmares that used to keep her up late at night, crying into her pillow. The hatred for her father, one that she'd never forget herself for feeling. He didn't know what the boy was like.  He didn't know that his daughter would come inches to having her innocence taken from her.  

What is he doing here? 

Madeline turned the facet on, splashing water on her face, trying to get her body to feel anything but the hollow that was always looming inside her. She didn't hear the footsteps that approached her, didn't hear her aunt calling out her name. She didn't know when she had taken out her wand, gripping it until her knuckles were white.  

Minerva turned her around, and Madeline dropped her wand, tears streaming down her face of their own accord. She couldn't make out what her aunt was saying, but just knew that it was probably something calming. Something along the lines of asking her what was wrong.  

She could feel her breathing become more labored, her vision blurring.  

Madeline chocked on her sob, counting to ten over and over and over in her mind, her body screaming at her to run. To hide.

But she wasn't that innocent girl anymore. She wasn't defenseless and she wasn't alone with him. He didn't have a hold on her anymore. 

She didn't belong to him.  

Her nana had come home earlier that night, her voice from downstairs forcing him to back away from her, to drop his hands from her body. He had gone to his room, and after Madeline's nana had found her in that hallway, she had known instantly what had happened.  

Her fathers promise of their marriage had been broken by her nana, and Madeline spent months forgetting about that night. 

She wasn't his.  

She was stronger.  

She was better. 

She couldn't let her old fears ruin her. 

She couldn't let the darkness swallow her again.  

She wouldn't. 

It took time, but Madeline was able to get her breathing under control, her hearing coming back to her one word at a time. She didn't respond to Minerva though, not trusting that speaking wouldn't bring more tears, and settled on nodding and shaking her head instead.

She was fine. 

She was here. 

She wasn't alone. 

"Madeline, are you alright? What happened?" Madeline shook her head, unable to speak. Not really wanting to speak. Her throat felt dryer then the Sahara Desert.  

Minerva said something about going to Madame Pomfrey, and she nodded, forcing her legs to move one in front of the other. Forcing herself to stay upright. 

Oliver was outside, his face pale and Madeline couldn't even smile back at him when he offered her a kind smile. She couldn't even tell him that she was fine because despite her repeating that useless word over and over in her head, she wasn't sure that she actually was fine. 

She hated this. He didn't need to see her like this. Didn't need to know that her life was a one big fucking lie. That she spent year after year after her parents passing keeping herself barely hanging on. Barely living. 

Madeline heard them talking and could only make out a few words, nodding her head when asked if she was alright if Oliver joined them at Madame Pomfrey's.  

Madeline kept her head down, only focusing on Oliver's hand on hers, his thumb running in soothing comforting circles around her knuckles. When did he take her hand?   

Madame Pomfrey told them that Madeline had a panic attack. 

A panic attack.  Madeline had to suppress the laugh that wanted to burst out of her. She used to get those often. So often in fact, that her nana had to brew her a potion almost twice a day to calm her.

"Miss Coleman, do you know what brought the attack on?" The older witch asked her question after question, and Madeline would just nod or shake her head, keeping her eyes away from the older witches face. She was sitting on one of the cots, Oliver beside her. His warmth was suddenly the only thing that she could focus on.  

Minerva stood behind Madam Pomfrey, eyes watching her great niece with patience and understanding. 

"Do you have them often?" I used to. Instead, she shook her head no. 

"How do you calm yourself?" 

"When was the last time you had one?" After nanas passing. She didn't move a muscle to answer that question. 

"Have you been to see a specialist?" 

The questions went on and on and it took Madeline half an hour before she found her voice after downing two glasses of water.  

Madam Pomfrey asked if Madeline would like to stay in the hospital wing for the day and the girl shook her head, the fear of being alone in a place that he could come into freely making her want to vomit. 

"No." Her voice came out cracked, and she swallowed, trying to moisten her throat. "No. I'm fine."

"You are not fine Miss Coleman. You just had a panic attack."  Madeline looked with pleading eyes at her aunt. She didn't want to stay here. 

Please.

"I don't need to stay here." Madeline tried, forcing her voice not to shake when Madame Pomfrey smiled at her, face softening.  

"Alright, I won't force you to stay here, but you will not be attending any of your classes, at least not today." Madeline took in a deep breath, her heart rate slowly picking up. If she didn't go to classes, she wouldn't be able to keep her mind occupied. That wasn't an ideal choice either. 

"I'm fine, really-"

"Miss Coleman, you may force your mind to believe that you are fine, but from what Professor McGonagall told me, you were on the brink of passing out. You will not go to your classes. I will give you draught of peace and sleeping draught, and you will rest in your dorm. It's either that or you stay here."  

Madeline nodded her head, all too eager to not be left here. At least she'd be out. Her mind couldn't possibly steer her in any bad direction if she was out cold.  

Potions in hand, Madeline let Oliver, who hadn't said a single thing to her yet, and her aunt lead her to the Gryffindor's common room. 

"Would you like me to come with you to your room?" Minerva asked her, looking between the portrait and Madeline, who shook her head. 

"Alright." Minerva nodded, her gaze leveling with Oliver's. "Mister Wood then, would you mind making sure that Madeline makes it to her room?"

Madeline looked at Oliver, his face still ashen when he nodded his head. "Very well. No funny business Mister Wood." Minerva warned, her voice gentle when she looked at Madeline. "We'll talk more when you're feeling up to it." Something in Minervas tone made Madeline think that talking about it wasn't an option. Just a matter of time. 

Oliver turned to the portrait, and Madeline forced a small smile for her aunt, her mind feeling numb. "And Mister Wood? I'll excuse you from the last two periods, but you better be in my classroom in thirty-seven minutes." 

"Thank you Professor."  His voice was strained, and Madeline swallowed. He didn't deserve this.  Didn't deserve to have a girlfriend who couldn't be normal. 

Minerva nodded, turning to go and Madeline followed Oliver through the portrait, catching the lady in the painting looking at her with curious eyes.  

Oliver led her to her dorm, his hand on the small of her back, and didn't speak until he closed her bedroom door behind them. 

"I'm here." He pulled her into him. Madeline felt his body heat seep into her own, and relaxed, feeling safe in his arms.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. He didn't know what happened, and she prayed that he wouldn't ask. She'd tell him, maybe, if he asked, just not now. 

"You have nothing to apologize for love. Nothing." Olivers arms tightened around her, and Madeline blinked away the tears that wanted to return before hugging him back. "Lets get you into bed, yeah?" Madeline nodded her head, letting him lead her. 

He didn't say anything as he took the viles from her hand, helping her take off her robe and shoes, lifting the covers for her and tucking her in. Popping the viles open one at a time, Oliver held each one to her lips, gently helping her drink their contents. 

It took minutes for the draught of sleep to take effect, and Madeline could feel Oliver's lips on her forehead. "I'll see you when you wake up." 

She was gone then, her body completely easing into a dark oblivion.