Beautiful Tragic Love

1st September 1976

Julia Avery sat alone in the train compartment.  She waited rather impatiently for her friends to arrive. Julia, affectionately known as Jules by her friends, had long red, curly hair, blue eyes, and was very pale with too many freckles to count. She was also a fifth year student at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was hard for her to believe it had now been so long since she first sat on the Hogwarts Express, a nervous first year. She had been sorted into Slytherin, no surprise there, most of her family had been Slytherin. Her family had been very proud, of course. She sat there now, confident and excited, but still nervous. The OWLs were to be taken this year, but she was quite sure she wouldn’t do too badly. She glanced over her schedule, which was completely full. She was taking a total of 10 OWLs, and only wasn’t taking more because there was literally no time in the day. Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Astronomy, and Herbology were all core subjects, those were mandatory. She was also taking three electives, Divination, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes. Her schedule was full. Most classes were not difficult for her, though she had proven to be rubbish at Divination. She wasn’t sure why she had continued to take it, even, but it was far too late to switch it with something else and a full schedule was expected, required, not by the school but by her own standards for herself. She was not looking forward to the busyness of the year, but was pretty sure she’d be able to handle it. Plus, she would be dropping several of these subjects next year. The train let out a whistle, signalling 10 minutes until it would be departing. She sighed, looking out the window. Normally, she would have been out there still, saying her last goodbyes to her family, hugging her little sister, Jaqueline, and telling her it wouldn’t be long until she was joining her on the train. This year, she had to say hasty goodbyes at home, and her mother had apparated with her and then quickly disapparated home. There had been an important political meeting that they’d had to rush off to. It was unfortunate timing, but then again, when she’d gotten home from school last year, she’d had to tag-along apparate with an older student to Diagon Alley and floo home. Jackie had been there, waiting for her, but the house had still felt empty. She had been told these meetings were simply too important to be missed, and though she had smiled, and pretended it didn’t hurt, it really had. And now it had happened again.  She had been to one of these meetings just a few days ago. She nearly shuddered at the memory, the tall, dark haired leader of the group had a chilling presence. She remembered the way his voice not only pierced the room but seemed to snake through her mind. She remembered how he had met her eyes, and he was suddenly sifting through her mind in search of any thoughts of doubt or betrayal. She was sure her jaw must have dropped as she felt it. Legilimency was something she had only heard about, experiencing it first hand was the most violating thing she could imagine could happen to a person. It had not been painful, and he hadn’t even been very thorough, disregarding the majority of her memories, it had simply been invasive.

“All alone Julia?” The voice of another fifth year snapped her out of her thoughts. Regulus Black stood in the doorway of the compartment. He had been at the meeting with his parents, too, but she had been too nervous to notice that he had grown up over the summer, and though he had never been bad looking, was now very handsome. His jaw had sharpened, and he’d grown several inches taller. He still had the lean, Seeker build, but seemed to have filled in a bit over the summer. He grinned, and leaned in the door frame of the compartment.  Regulus was tall, but had never been gangly. He had skin as pale as hers, but with no freckles splattered across his nose it was translucent looking, though it suited him perfectly and she couldn’t imagine him any other way. His already dark circles under his eyes were now 3 shades darker, and he looked tired. He had looked tired for about a year now, so this wasn’t really anything new. He had deep, chocolate brown, curly hair which went to his shoulders, he had grown it out a bit more over summer, and his smile… His smile was best of all. When he really smiled, and it reached all the way up to his eyes, Julia’s whole world seemed to pause. This was currently happening. He smiled with his whole mouth, both his top and bottom teeth, and it was the best thing Julia had ever seen. Regulus looked at her in such a way that he seemed to be looking straight at her soul. Legilimency was terrifying and intrusive, but that was looking into her thoughts, her memories. This was so much different. Regulus had always been a good friend, and every once in a while she caught him looking at her in a way that caused something to trip her breath, but still, never anything more than friends. He was also a Slytherin (hardly a surprise at all, though his older brother, Sirius, had been placed in Gryffindor, so poor eleven year old Regulus had been quite worried about the whole ordeal), their families were friends and therefore, so were they. 

“Just waiting on Eileen and Aquila! I think Eileen is catching up with David, so it might be a while. Good summer, Regulus?” She smiled back. She hadn’t said anything to him at the meeting. It didn’t seem like a social event. 

“Yes. Yeah, I suppose it was alright,” He said, but his smile faded. She knew life in the Black household had never been easy, and Regulus had the scars to prove it, but after Sirius, his older brother and the former heir to the Black family home and fortune, had been kicked out and disowned last Christmas, and with the whisperings of a war, things had become much more difficult for him. 

“Sit with me, would you?” She asked him. He glanced down towards the end of the train, then back to her.

“I will. Crouch and Mulciber might come looking for me though, he wants to make some plans for the year,” He smirked. This smile did not stop her world, this smile right pissed her off. The now sixth year student, Justin Mulciber, had been involved with the assault of a now sixth year muggle born student, Mary Macdonald. She had been beaten to a pulp. Julia had found her, unconscious. It was an image she would never get out of her mind, and, with some input from his parents, he had gotten off with a slap on the wrist. He had been kicked off the Quidditch team, but that was it. They had cost Slytherin 100 points, but it was nothing compared to what Macdonald had suffered. 

“Better not be plans for torturing the poor muggle borns, Regulus,” She was not afraid to voice her opinion when it came to the issue. She chose to look at things logically, and the thought that muggle borns stole their magic was ridiculous. She knew Regulus thought so too, but things were different for him. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it.

“It’s not,” He said, then continued jokingly, “you know the only people in this school I’ve ever hexed are Sirius and Severus?” Just then, the train began to move.

“Do you know what he did to Mary Macdonald in June?” She asked him, flinching as she said it. He raised a brow.

“That Gryffindor mudblood? No.”

“Close the door, please?” She asked him. He obliged, then sat opposite her. She looked down for a moment, not sure how exactly to talk about this. After a moment's contemplation, she remembered this is Regulus, and she can talk to him about this stuff, “I found her just a few days before school was over. I had fallen asleep in the library, you know I do that sometimes, and when I was leaving, I tripped over her. She had been disillusioned. When- when I removed the charm- when I could see her. God,” She whispered, closing her eyes. It had been horrifying, “She was unrecognisable. Her eyes, Regulus. He had- they were- I’m sorry, I can’t,” The image haunted her. Mary Macdonalds’ left eye had been removed from the socket, still attached to her head only by the nerves that connected the eye to the head. She was only able to see because by some stroke of luck, Julia had tripped over her body that day, and taken her straight to Pomfrey. “Regulus, it was sadistic. It was torture. Please, please, stay away from Mulciber. I know this summer was… well, important. It was for my family as well. But Regulus, it’s not your job to do this here. Walburga will never hear about it if it doesn’t happen, so why not just let them be?”

“What he did is horrible, but it is expected,” He pulled up his robe to show halfway up his calf. Julia had to catch herself to not gasp in horror. His calf was riddled with cruel, angry, wounds. Though they were beginning to heal, they had clearly been nasty gashes that would have needed medical (or magical) attention. While disciplinary scars were not uncommon for Regulus, these were different, they came from a hot anger, they were normally disciplined, straight and uniform. He looked at her, and she carefully hid her expression before meeting his eye. 

“Oh… I’m sorry. Would you like me to heal those? It’s allowed now that we’re on the train,” Julia offered. He looked down, no longer meeting her eye.

“Mother put a charm on them… they can’t be magically healed. It’s to keep me in check, apparently. A little reminder from Mummy. Besides, these are just the visible injuries,” He rolled his eyes, but his voice wavered a little bit. 

“You don’t deserve that, you know. I hope you don’t think that you do,” She told him. She didn’t want to think about what kind of curses he may have had to endure. She’d seen Walburga Black at the meeting, and while Regulus had clearly gotten his defined, sharp features from his mother, he looked nothing like her. His mother looked powerful. Cruel. 

“Yes, well. Now you know,” He said, “But yes, I will stay away from Mulciber. That is barbaric.”

She felt like crying. And hugging him. Maybe she would, later. She pushed the memory from June into the back of her mind. The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. It was understanding. This silence was something that only existed with Regulus. It hung there for several minutes, until the compartment door opened, and in walked Eileen Rosier and Aquila Yaxley. Eileen practically bounced in, radiating excitement and energy, as always. She had dark skin, and curly black hair. Aquila followed, the exact opposite of Eileen, though not for a lack of confidence, Aquila brought with her a sense of maturity, a sense of power. Though Aquila was a very quiet girl, she was not one to be spoken over. She had tan skin and wavy blond hair. The picture of perfection.

“Hiya Jules!” Eileen grinned, “good summer I hope?” She flopped down beside Julia.

“Good, good! And you?” Julia asked her.

“Oh it was just fabulous! Spent loads of time with David at first, then vacationed in France!” She said excitedly. She already knew that she had been with David the first several weeks of summer. Eileen had told her parents she was staying with Julia. David Bennet, Eileens’ boyfriend, was muggleborn. The relationship was not approved of.

“That’s fabulous! How about you, Aquila?” Julia turned to her other friend. She had been at the meeting, too. Her parents were extreme blood supremacists, and had even sent Aquilas’ older brother, Corbin, to Durmstrang, another wizarding school in Northern Europe, which was much more aligned with the pureblood beliefs. Dumbledore was a very liberal headmaster, undesirable for those whose views aligned with the Dark Lords’. She was actually quite surprised Aquila had come to Hogwarts at all this year. 

“Oh yes, it was quite alright,” She sat in the corner across from Eileen, before flashing a silver badge and a small smile, “I’m a Prefect,” She said before turning to Regulus, “I was surprised to hear that you are not, though. I didn’t think Evan would be their first choice.” 

This earned a frown from Eileen, 

“I’m well, thank you. No, not a prefect. I wouldn’t have taken it even if they had offered, with Quidditch and my OWLs.”

“So, Jules. How was your summer?” Aquila said.

“It was alright, pretty boring. I guess Corbin is back at Durmstrang?” Julia asked. Aquilas’ face fell. 

“Yes, he won’t be coming back. It was only because I had been offered Prefect that I’m here,” Aquila said, raising her chin, her face blank. That’s when the door slammed open a second time. Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier entered. Evan was Eileen’s twin, and it showed. They looked exactly alike, but more than that, they both seemed to walk around like nothing mattered, like they didn’t have problems. Barty had to greatly overcompensate to match Evans' confidence. It didn’t work. Barty had to make other people hurt in order to feel valid, it seemed. Usually it was some younger student who was undeserving and often unarmed. 

“Evan, Barty! Hi! How’d summer go?” Julia asked them.

 Bartys’ face twisted into a frown as he sank into the seat, “Shit. As usual. I’m going to kill that fucking bastard one day.” He was talking about his dad. From what Barty had said of him, he was a cruel man, who may even deserve it. She grimaced. 

Evan changed the subject smoothly, “Well, I’m more fluent in French than Regulus is, now.”

Regulus looked at him, brows raised, “avez-vous des frères et sœurs?”

Evan grinned, “Oui.” 

“Et tu as un jumeau?” 

“L'école de sorcellerie de Poudlard,” Evan said. He said it with enough confidence that Julia probably would have believed he knew what he was talking about, but Aquila, who was actually fluent, laughed. 

“You may as well go attend Beauxbâtons, I think you would excel there,” She said. 

Evan smiled widely, “Oui, I hear there are veela there. I would love to make their acquaintance.” 

*

After the feast and sorting ceremony had ended, everyone began to head back to their common rooms. There were only 3 first year Slytherin girls this year, and just two boys. Many pureblood and even some halfblood families had chosen to send their children to Durmstrang the last couple of years, or keep them home, not trusting Dumbledore with the whispers of a war ramping up. Julia sat in the common room, not thinking about anything in particular. Sometimes, it was nice to just sit. Aquila and Eileen had gone ahead to their dorm, which they used to share with Darla and Francis Crabbe, but their parents had withdrawn them from Hogwarts over the summer. It was strange, losing her friends, and watching not only the Slytherin population, but the general Hogwarts student body begin to dwindle. 

“Jules!” Regulus came from the direction of the boys' dorms, “Can I speak to you? It’s important.”

“Can do, Reggie,” She grinned at him. He rolled his eyes at the nickname, but came and sat next to her anyway. 

“Muffliato,” He whispered, though the common room was empty, then looked at her, “Julia. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Is something wrong?” She asked him, though that might’ve been a stupid question considering their earlier conversation. He just sat there for a moment, fiddling with his wand. She let him take his time. 

“Julia.”

“Regulus.”

“I… I wondered if you might want to go out? With me?” She met his gaze. That was not where she thought this was going. She could only look at him for a moment.

“As in, be your girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Making you my boyfriend,” She said, more to herself. Regulus misinterpreted her tone, and his face fell for just a moment, before he smoothed it over, back to his casual, unbothered self.

“It was stupid of me to ask. I’m sorry, Julia. Could we pretend it didn’t happen?” He said quietly, shrugging. Fuck, that wasn’t what she had meant. 

“I’d love to go out with you, Regulus,” She said simply. His mouth curved into a smile, and he took her hand. She leaned onto his shoulder, and he put his arm around her. They sat there quietly, that same, comfortable silence again. There was an unspoken agreement to not fill such silence with meaningless words, the way one might with someone less familiar. It wasn’t as though her and Regulus had ever actually been intimate, but neither of them were ever the one to carry a conversation, so it seemed right not to force it, when quiet was just as good. It had probably been half an hour like that, before Regulus finally spoke, only to ask her to go up to his dorm.

“No, what, Regulus! It’s the first night, I can hardly end up in your dorm!” Julia protested as he stood, her hand still in his.

“No, not like that , I would just rather have a bit more privacy. I do want to speak to you, you know. And I’m sure Eileen and Aquila will understand.”

“No, no, it’s ok. You’re right, they will understand. Er.. probably,” She looked at her feet. Eileen would pounce on her with about ten million questions when she finally returned to her dorm.

“Right then,” He brought her straight to his dorm. Barty and Evan were unpacking.

“What in the bloody hell have you got a girl here for?” Barty said, earning a glare from Evan. 

“Not a word about it, is that understood?” Regulus said with a grin. Barty was always a bit crabby when he first got back to Hogwarts.

Evan smiled, “Jules! You two, huh? About time, maybe Regulus will stop whining about you,” 

“I do not whine,” Regulus protested. Evan just snorted.

“Well here’s my dorm. And bathrooms right through there,” he gestured towards another door, then to the closest bed, “and that one's mine.”

Julia looked at the decor he had up. It wasn’t a lot, just a Slytherin flag and what she assumed was the Black coat of arms. She wasn’t sure when he would’ve had the time to unpack and decorate, but his area of the dorm was perfectly tidy, not a thing out of place. She sat on his bed, which was neatly made, not sure what to say. Crouch and Evan were still in the room, of course, so it felt a bit awkward. He climbed in and closed the curtains, casting a silencing spell.

“Well then,” She spoke after a moment of just looking at him, “what now?”

“Well I was wondering, actually. Over the summer, when you were at the Malfoy house, why didn’t you… come say hello?”

“It didn’t really seem like the time,” She said dully. It wasn’t what she had hoped to talk about. 

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that’s fair enough.”

“God, that Legilimency was awful. How did you keep a straight face? I’m sure I looked horrified,” She said, shivering at the still fresh memory.

“I’ve got practice. I’m not too bad at Occlumency by now,” He said.

“You’ve met him before ? That’s awful,” She said, shocked. By the way Lucius Malfoy had spoken, very few had met the Dark Lord. It was surprising a fifteen year old was a part of the inner circle. Not only that, but Occlumency was a difficult skill, taking months of practice to even become half good at it.

“No,” He said simply, “My mothers a Legilimens. Uses it on me all the time. Many times a day.” 

She had to stop her jaw from dropping. 

“Yeah. It’s… well. Not good. I can do some Legilimency too. Not the best by any means. But when it’s used on you daily, it becomes fairly natural. Occlumancy, though, I am quite good at. Always have been, I think I may be a natural Occlumens, there was never a time when I couldn’t do it, I’ve just gotten better over time,” He said, nonchalantly. As if it was normal.

“You’re… you can… what?” She asked, still stunned. 

“Yes,” He laughed humourlessly, “I hear the absurdity.”

“Will you teach me?” She said suddenly, “I hated it. I never want it to happen again.”

He looked down for a moment. When he met her eye, he looked sad, “I’m sorry, Julia, but I can’t. I can’t do that to you.”

She hid her disappointment, and changed the subject.

It was several hours later that they stopped talking, the conversation ranging from the practises the Dark Lord was using to how they took their tea (both drank it black), before he’d ended up falling asleep.

She had slipped out of his dorm only after leaving a short note explaining Eileen and Aquila would miss her. She crept into her dorm. Eileen was immediately on her feet. 

“Where were you? Were you with Regulus?” She burst out. Julia felt herself blush. 

“You were?” Aquila joined in. She figured she may as well tell them now. She nodded.

“Oh my! Finally! The way you two have looked at each other all this time! So are you going out with him? Tell us everything!” Eileen looked ecstatic. Julia hadn’t realised how observant Eileen had been.

“Merlin, you two. Ok, yes, I was with him. I’m going out with him. Do you ever sleep?”

Eileen basically squealed at this, ignoring the question, “Finally! Jegulus lives!” 

“What the hell is Jegulus,” Julia laughed.

“Your couples name, of course! Keep up , Jules!” Eileen said. Aquila burst out laughing at this, but Eileen was just grinning from ear to ear.

“About time, Julia,” Aquila giggled.

“Has it been that obvious?” She asked

Aquila nodded, “Yeah, I think even the teachers have been rooting for the two of you. They probably have bets placed.”

“They do! I heard Slughorn and McGonagall talking about it last year. McGonagall had a galleon on you two being together by the beginning of 5th year!” Eileen laughed. 

“So now it’s just you,” Julia said, wagging her brows at Aquila. Her smile disappeared instantly.

“Actually, a marriage has been arranged. To Gareth Greengrass. I found out two evenings ago.” 

Eileen gasped. Greengrass was 14 years older than them. 

“I’m sorry, Aquila,” Julia said quietly.

“Don’t be,” Aquila said sharply, “It was always going to happen. It’s going to happen to all of us. You’d better hope you and Regulus work well together, because it would not shock me if they stuck the two of you together. And you, Eileen? I’m surprised you haven’t ended it with your little pet mudblood yet. You should, maybe you’ll save yourself the heartbreak when you’re eventually married to some other pureblood, and he ends up in Azkaban when the Dark Lord arrests him for being a mudblood.”

Eileen recoiled, shocked at the words, “That’s not true. That’s not true, because I’m not responsible for producing an heir for our family. There’s- there’s Elliot. For that. And the Dark Lord isn’t going to be arresting them, there will just- just be more strict guidelines on what counts as a muggle born wizard. They’ll- They’ll have to have higher magical content. Right? Right, Julia?” She looked frantically between her two dormmates. 

Aquila rolled her eyes, “Don’t be naive. And Elliot isn’t saving you. Corbin didn’t save me. There are other families with sons needing wives, and the Rosier name is a good one. Stop thinking like a child.”

Eileen turned on her heel and stormed out of the room. The door slammed. 

“That was unnecessarily cruel,” Julia said. 

 “It was true, every word of it. You’d do well to send word to the Black’s right away. If you’re lucky, a marriage will be arranged with Regulus, and not some 30 year old irrelevant man who's not even the heir to his family estate.”

“There was no reason to call her childish. She’s allowed to have a boyfriend, even if it’s not forever.”

Aquila just jutted her chin. Julia shook her head at her, and left to find Eileen. 

She found her, sitting on a couch in the common room, making a paper bird flit around the room, while muttering something under her breath.

“Eileen,” She said, approaching quietly. Eileen did not look up. Her bird flew a little faster. “Eileen, her words were uncalled for,” Julia sat next to her, “But I don’t think she meant them.” The bird just flew faster, whipping around the room, its tiny wings flapping too fast. “She’s just been told she has to marry a man nearly twice her age. You must understand she’s not in her right mind.”

“That does not give her the right to say such things to me.”

“No,” Julia agreed, “it doesn’t.”

“I can’t believe she could say that,” She said, and then, in a whisper, “Is it true?”

“I… I think it could come to that. I can ask Regulus, he'd have a better idea than me,” Julia answered. She wouldn’t lie to her. Eileen squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear rolling down her face.

“I’ll make myself sterile before I get sold off to pump out some old man's heir,” Eileen said, looking toward the ceiling and taking a shaky breath, “I’ll make an unbreakable vow to marry David. That way I’ll die before I’m forced into that.”

Julia sighed. It was all a little too much to think about, the words Aquila had said about Regulus had not left her mind.

“Are you coming back? It’s nearly one in the morning,” She said. Eileen shook her head.

“I’ll go to David,” She said, standing up. Julia nodded.

Eileen's paper bird burst into flames, its ashes falling to the ground. 

*

15th September, 1976

Eileen did not accept Aquila’s many attempts to apologise. She had not even spoken to her, even when Aquila begged. All that had earned was a look of disgust. Eileen did not sleep in their dorm room. Julia tried not to get in between them, so she spent the next two weeks really getting to know Regulus. They had always been good friends, but now she knew he loved cats, hoped to visit any kind of beach, but preferably somewhere warm, because he wanted to learn how to do a muggle sport called surfing (she had asked a muggle born about this, it really sounded quite difficult without magic), hated lace up boots (when asked “what's the point of the bloody things when I’ve got slip on ones that fit exactly right?”), would choose weed over any alcohol, and he had magically enhanced his ties so he didn’t have to tie them himself (again, “what’s the point, this ways so much faster!”).  She had also learned that forehead kisses were to be expected, and hugs from behind, constantly. The main thing she had learned, though, was that underneath it all, Regulus Black was even more of a softie than even she had suspected. 

Her professors did not take things slowly to begin the year. Most of her classes came quite easily,  though she had a hard time with Divination. It seemed quite illogical, and up to chance. Regulus was smart, but the two of them certainly competed in all of their subjects. He took all of the same classes as her, except for Divination. He was in Care of Magical Creatures instead.

Julia was working on a transfiguration essay with Regulus in the library, while he was frowning at his History book.

“What are you working on?” She asked him. 

“House-elf treatment in the 18th century. Seems the same as now!” He said, glowering at his book. If looks could kill, Regulus would no longer own a 5th grade history book.

“Well, we treat Willa with dignity, but they do live to serve! Poor things, they don’t know any difference, but still,” Julia said, nodding in agreement.

“Yes well, this is just horrific!” He continued reading.

“Well I’ve done all the notes on treatment of magical creatures from the 14th century to the present, so you can just borrow those,” Julia offered. He grinned at her, and looked like he was about to say something, before he smoothed over his features, going blank.

Sirius Black approached, a large grin on his face. He grabbed a chair, flipping it around so he sat backwards on it, his forearms rested on the back of the chair.

“Hiya, Jules, Reggie,” Sirius greeted them, winking at her, “you two finally started dating then?”

“Hello Sirius. Yeah, we finally are,” Julia smiled back. Regulus’ frown grew. 

“Good then! I had to listen to poor Regulus here whining about you for years!” Sirius laughed. Remus Lupin came up behind him, and shot her an apologetic look.

“Yeah right,” Regulus retorted. He seemed quite tense.

“Sirius, come on, let’s just go,” Remus said quietly. Julia thought she noticed Remus’ hand brush Sirius’ back, but it was too fast for her to be sure.

“Do you have anything significant to talk about, Sirius, or are you just here to be a nuisance?” Regulus asked him, glaring up at his brother. Sirius let out a barking laugh. Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Just wanted to bother you, little brother,” He grinned wickedly. 

“Let’s go, we have lots to work on, little time,” Remus said again. 

“As you say, then. Julesy, let me know when you’re fed up with him, hmm? Maybe you’ll want to take a shot with the better brother,” Sirius said with another wink. Remus began to walk away, and Sirius followed after him.

“For years, huh Regulus?” She grinned at him.

“Slight exaggeration,” He rolled his eyes again, “I hate that.”

“Hmm?”

“The Reggie thing. Why’s he got to do that?”

“Huh. You don’t seem to mind when I call you Reggie, or Reg.”

He looked at her like she had missed something obvious, “Well duh, because it’s you.”

“Aww, Reggie! I’m touched!”

“Well don’t get into too much of a habit, though! Geez.” He ran his hand through his hair, “I just don’t understand how he can walk around like nothing’s different.” Julia frowned. Sirius had always been that way. A little too nonchalant. He covered up his problems by becoming a total dick. She remembered how Sirius had been in January, directly after he had been disowned. You were lucky if you could get from one class to the next without him making your life difficult in some way or another. Regulus had done the opposite, where Sirius had become even louder, even more rambunctious, Regulus had become quieter, more withdrawn than usual. She thought that at the root of things, even with complete opposite reactions, the brothers were actually quite similar at their cores. It wasn’t as though either of them had properly addressed things. 

“Aren’t you doing the same thing, though? When was the last time you properly spoke to him?” She asked him. He gestured toward the restricted section, his look saying ‘just now.’ She rolled her eyes, “Actually spoke to him. And addressed what happened.” She made the clarification unnecessarily, he had known what she meant.

“Why would I do that?”
“Come on, Regulus. He’s your brother.”

“No, he isn’t. He made his choice,” He said, his words were sharp, a bitter edge to them. She decided that if that’s how he felt about it, so be it.

“Alright then.”

*

17th September, 1976

Julia entered the girls' lavatory, going to one of the toilets and lighting a joint she had snagged off Regulus. It had been a long day, and besides, it was Friday. She took a few hits, before pulling a pocket watch out of her bag. Putting the joint in her mouth, she tapped her wand to the back of the watch. The engravement popped up, exactly how she wanted it. It read “ Everything, always.” She smiled at her handiwork, satisfied that it was right. 

A pair of footsteps entered the lavatory, the faucet turning on, followed by the sound of someone splashing water on their face.

“Fuck,” A voice muttered. The person walked into the stall next to her, crying now.

“You ok?” She asked. Normally she would have let them be, but the weed seemed to be influencing this decision.

“Shit, didn’t know anyone was in here,” She recognized that voice. It was Mary Macdonald. 

“Mary?” She asked, opening the stall door and stepping out.

“Yeah? Who’s that?” Mary asked.

“Julia. Avery.”

“Oh. Hi,” The stall door opened. Mary stood there, eyes wide, makeup smeared down her face. The last time Julia had seen her, she had been missing an eye, bloodied and bruised. The image flashed into her mind

“Sorry. Usually I let people cry in peace, but,” She waved the joint in explanation.

“That’s fine,” Mary laughed, then groaned, “Ugh, I must be in such a state.”

“No, no you’re fine,” The words she did not say hung between them: I’ve seen you worse.

 “Want some?” Julia offered up the joint, which Mary took, inhaling deeply.

“Fuck,” She exhaled, offering it back to her, “Thanks.”

“You finish it. Nicked it off Regulus, his stuff is stronger than I’m used to,” Julia explained. It was true, this whole conversation was sort of echoing around in her brain. 

“Hah. Yeah, he gets it from Anna Vane, that’s why. She bloody grows it under her bed with charms and shit,” Eileen laughed.

“No shit? Anna Vane? Wouldn’t have thought it by looking at her,” She said.

“No, no you wouldn’t,” Mary giggled, then her face became serious, “You know, I never got to thank you for that day.”

“No need,” Julia tried to dismiss it, but Mary went on.

“No, there is a need, really, thank you, you could have just left me there.”
“No I couldn’t. Of course I wouldn’t.”

“No, really, I… appreciate it. I know what you and your lot think of me-”

“Sorry?” Julia cut her off. What on earth could that mean?

“Well, being muggle born, you being pure blood,” She said matter of factly. 

“You think that’s what we all think? Really? Do you think the same of James Potter? Or Sirius, for that matter? I do recall you dated him last year, or am I wrong there?” Julia was taken aback by this. 

“I mean… You’re a Slytherin. Come on, Julia. You hang around with that Yaxley girl and Crouch, don’t you? You’re dating bloody Regulus Black. The company one keeps says a lot about them,” Mary said as if it was so obvious. Julia had never considered that this was the reputation she had. She had never treated the muggle born students very much differently at all. 

“So the house I was sorted into and my choice of partner means I would leave someone for dead? ”

“I mean…” Mary said. The silence hung in the air. Julia frowned. 

“Ok then. If that’s how you feel. I should go… Regulus will be missing me,” Julia said, and continued, before she could think about the words that came out of her mouth, they did, “And your welcome, by the way, for your vision. You wouldn’t suit missing an eye, and your personality clearly isn’t your winning feature.” They were mean, and they took her by surprise, but she walked out, leaving Mary standing there with Regulus’ joint between her fingers.

*

21st September, 1976

Regulus was humming, though it seemed there was no particular tune, laying next to her in his bed, and playing with Julia’s hair. She hadn’t thought about the words with Mary. It wasn’t true, and that was that. As much as she wished she could just enjoy the moment, her thoughts were elsewhere, she wasn’t able to stop thinking about the letter she had received that morning.

Julia,

Hello! I hope your classes are going well! Please tell me how school is going in your reply.

Dad says hello, he is terribly busy right now, as you know. I am sorry to tell you this, but it seems like you’ll have to attend some more meetings. I will tell you more at Christmas, when I can speak to you properly.

I know you must be very busy this year with your schooling, but I do wish you would write to me more! I love you, and hope to hear back from you very soon.

Jacqueline says hello, she already can’t stop talking about you being home for Christmas, and of course still whining about not being with you there now. We all miss you, Julia!

Love, Mum

The letters her mother used to send her were much longer. They started becoming shorter around November of last year.

Jacqueline was only 11, but not yet at Hogwarts because, much to Jacqueline's dismay and constant complaining for the last several months, her birthday was September 4th, just after the cutoff to get into Hogwarts this year. She would have to write back to her mother in regard to her classes, and, per Aquila’s suggestion, about her relationship with Regulus, and she would have to write to Jackie, to tell her how lucky she would be to be the oldest in her year. 

“Something’s bothering you, darling,” Regulus said. He didn’t have to ask.

“Yes,” she replied simply. 

“The letter you got this morning?” he guessed. He would be right again.

“Yes. From my mother. She said I’ll have to be attending more meetings. And there’s something she doesn’t want to say to me over letters, I’m just worried.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing to be too concerned about. It’s just politics,” He reassured her.

“I’m worried for Jackie, too. She’s only 11. When is she going to be drug into this too?” she frowned at the thought. 

“My father told me the Dark Lord is wanting older Hogwarts students to be a part of the cause, so that he can have some sort of inside information on Dumbledore. Jackie will have nothing to worry about, though I am a bit worried about exactly what he will want us to be doing here,” He said. She, stupidly, had not considered that she may have to get information on the schools headmaster. The way Dumbledore always seemed to know everything made the thought of reporting information back to Voldemort worrisome.

“If you say so,” she said, not voicing her concerns. 

“Trust me, Julia.”

“I do trust you. I’m probably just overreacting. I’m sure they won’t bring her into anything. But I don’t trust the Dark Lord. Or that Dumbledore won’t find out about it.”

“It’ll be fine,” he said, then kissed her forehead, and hugged her tightly.

The queasy feeling in her stomach did not go away.