The four boys who shared a room in the Gryffindor tower soon gained a reputation. Only a few people knew they were the infamous marauders, however everyone knew the quartet to be mischievous, irreverent, cheeky and very loud. The four of them combined could be portrayed as the embodiment of Gryffindor's spirit. Loyal, fierce, protective, daring, perhaps a bit of a hero complex. You could spot them in the middle of a game of exploding snap by the great lake, laughing hard every time the cards exploded on someone. You could also find them by the fountain yard showing off to the first year students or maybe chasing each other with some weird potion or a strange plant. Likewise, you could watch them at the great hall eating eagerly. On great days, you didn't even have to see them to hear their roars of laughter on class. On no so good days you could see them all sat around a bed on the hospital wing with a tired smile – but that was a sight only few caught before one of them snatch the curtain close-.
My point being, if you could catch a glimpse of these four boys walking around Hogwarts’s hall like they owned them – which to a certain extent was true-you'd be in awe. They were, well, are, the kind of friends you wish would invite you over to lunch; you'd hope to be part of their inner circle, cause they were the type of people who, once you become a friend, you know is bound to last a lifetime. It was a friendship every kid desire. Full of fun, fights, secrets, make up's, mischief and camaraderie. However, dear reader, one mustn’t be fooled because each and one of them was much more complex than it would appear at first glance. Let's take for example the raven haired boy, whose complexion resembled royalty; the boy you'd always find beside James Potter. The boy you had to deal with if you dared say something against Remus Lupin. The boy who would nonchalantly stand up for Peter Pettigrew. The boy whose name was Sirius Black.
If you asked anyone from the Hogwarts student body, they'd probably say Sirius Black was the wildest of the marauders. He was like James Dean on that 50s film, “Rebel without a cause”; however, if you knew him well enough you'd know he, in fact, did have a cause. Maybe he was a bit impulsive and sometimes very reckless, but these risky mischiefs often presented themselves as a statement: "He wasn't like the rest of the Blacks". The problem was, if you didn't know this boy very well, he would pass as an obnoxious git. But Sirius was, indeed, very complex. His mind was, most of the time, clogged with lots of thoughts about everything; his family, Moony’s furry little problem, the classes, a way to help Moony, their next mischief, the fact that girls didn't seem to interest him as much as it seemed to interest James and other classmates, his brother, Moony´s smile.
To say the least, there were a lot of things on his mind. Like, all the time. He liked to put them on the back of his mind. We might also add that he wasn't certain about a lot of things, either. He wasn't sure how he felt about his brother. He wasn't sure what was he going to do when Hogwarts ended. He wasn't sure he'd ever found his Lily, as James had said. Hell, he wasn't even sure what he was going to eat for breakfast at the great hall - so many options-. But life is about balance and there were in fact a few moments – six to be exact - on Sirius life where he was completely, absolutely, a hundred percent sure of his thoughts. Those moments that make you go: “this is it”.
.
The first time he was sure of something was around the age of seven. The Black family was having an over the top, elegant and fancy party for his cousin’s birthday; the party was being celebrated at Grimmauld place. Narcissa Black was turning nine at the time. The children were playing outside. Everything was fine, Sirius had known nothing more than this his whole life. Then Regulus slipped up. Bellatrix was bragging about getting her parents to buy her a new broom – Narcissa had got one for her birthday, it seemed only fair, even though she wasn't the one being celebrated-.
“I wish I had a bicycle, it's much better than a broom, the girl next door lends us hers sometimes”.
By the time Sirius had put his hand over his brother's mouth, Narcissa and Bellatrix looked completely scandalized.
“Mom!” shirked Bellatrix.
She stormed off to where the adults were dinning, with Sirius on her heels trying to stop her.
“Mom! Regulus and Sirius play with muggles!” she screamed as soon as she entered.
Sirius felt his heart sink to the very bottom of his stomach. He could see the shock on his everyone's face; worst of all, he could see the rage of his mother. It was Walburga who cut the silence.
“I'm sure there’s a misunderstanding here” she said calmly, but Sirius knew better he could tell we´d be in trouble by how pressed her lips were, the thinnest of lines. “Blacks don't go mixing themselves with that kind of creatures. Might as well dine with centaurs”.
Everyone laughed at these and returned to their business, but Sirius could tell. Oh, how well he knew he was in for a big one. Late, when everyone had gone, the two brothers were locked with their mother in her study room. She had her wand out.
“Mother, I'm truly sorry, it slipped my mouth” started explaining Sirius.
“Silencio!” she screamed, pointing her wand at him.
Sirius words got caught in his throat and instinctively his hand reach up to his mouth. Regulus was hiding behind his brother, Sirius could feel him cry. Oh, how well Sirius remembers that punishment. Three weeks of being under the silencing spell and of course his mother speciality, a curse that hurt down to his bones, even his brain was left sore, if that was possible. But the worse was watching Reggie go thought it, usually Sirius took the punishments, but Reggie was old enough to know better than to play with muggles- Bellatrix had said both of their names-. When they were in his room, at night, his little brother hiding under Sirius's arms sobbing silently, was the very first time Sirius thought “This is it! I'm not like those people. They are crazy, and I'm going to give them hell for this”.
.
The second time Sirius was sure of something was three weeks into classes in the first year of Hogwarts. He had spent every single day with his now best friend James Potter, pairing in every class and competing in everything they could, he had also spent many moments mocking Peter but scolding others for doing so; most of all he had spent three entire weeks trying to figure out Remus and every waking moment he thought about his mysterious friend; he couldn't say what, but there was something different about him, maybe a secret. It wasn't until one day at their room when, after Snape badmouthing Remus on potions class, they were all talking about revenge. At least him and James. Remus was on his bed reading, and he didn't seem to care a lot for the whole getting-back-at-that-bloody-git operation, and Peter was just sitting silent after being rejected on various lame ideas for the prank.
“Why don't we make the food at the Slytherin table explode into red and gold sparkles” pitched Sirius.
“That's brilliant mate! We just have to figure out a spell similar to the ones on the exploding snap cards!” agreed James.
Remus snorted from his bed. At this point Sirius was getting a tad irritated, they were planning this for him, he wanted to make his friend feel better about being called a… something Sirius wouldn't repeat, and it was like Remus didn't appreciate the effort.
“What is it? What's so funny?” snapped Sirius.
Remus face went serious, and he emerged from behind his book.
“You can't do that.” He answered.
“Remus come on-" but James was interrupted.
“It'll be too obvious. Besides, why frighten them with sparkles when we could make them stink.” He said with a smile Sirius hadn't seen in him yet, however, it was oddly endearing.
The other three boys remained in silence, Remus didn't cease to impress them.
“We could pinch a Mimbulus mimbletonia from the green houses, we would only need one, and I heard from a third year student they were studying them the next week, so there are plenty for sure. We just need to put some boils into the slythering table and with the tinniest push they'll squirt stinksap all over.” James and Peter were looking at Remus with a profound admiration.
“That's no fun.” Sirius said. “They'll just use the scouring charm”.
Remus smiled at him knowingly. Sirius felt proud because he knew Remus knew you had to be smart to notice that little flaw.
“Not if you can put your infamous sticking charm on them” he finalized, lifting his eyebrow. “I heard you are pretty good at it”.
Sirius felt a strange heat creep up the back of his neck to his ears. Remus Lupin was the best damn prank planner of all time and the next Thursday the slytherings were bathed and all the classrooms doors had to be left open during lessons to make the stink bearable. But it was when they had stolen the plant, when Filch almost caught them, and they had to run for dear life; it was at the very same moment they reach the lake shore when James threw himself on the floor laughing and Remus was bent fighting to catch his breath with the biggest smile Sirius had ever seen him wear, it was at that moment when Sirius thought “This is it. I have found my best mates. This is it. We are going to stay together, I know it”.
.
Third year was very surprising for all the marauders. It was the year they finally figured out Remus furry little problem. It was the year James started to ask Lily out in public, for he had decided he was to marry her one day. It was the year Peter had his first girlfriend, however they only hold hands. It was the year Sirius had his first kiss with Hestia Jones and found that he didn’t enjoy kissing at all – that was until Moony set a kiss on top of his head right on his temple after Sirius gave him a chocolate frog; Merlin knows he spent the rest of the year trying to please Remus enough so he would kiss him again-. It was also the year Sirius started spending time on the library. At first madam Pince was suspicious, but third year passed, and the three boys only took a lot of books out – which is the point of the library after all- and then some more years passed and though sometimes the raven haired boy was loud she knew only to expect him if Remus was in, and she could trust the curly haired boy to keep his friend in line most of the time. But the point is, that third year was a year of sleepless nights and sneaking around. First, the three boys had asked Remus directly if there was something they could do to help him on the full moon. But he had refused the help, although by that time Sirius had learned to read Remus and knew his stubborn friend needed help.
“I'm getting tired” complained James.
Peter had slept already on top of a piece of parchment. They had sneak out of their dorm and were researching something to help Remus out.
“Why don't we go down to the kitchens for a little break” offered James.
Sirius was focused because Moony was depending on him, not that Remus knew what they were doing, so he responded the following: “We can't go down James”
“Why not?”
“It's already past curfew. If we get caught we will have detention cause the cloak is on our dorm, and we can't be sneaking in and out, we'll wake up Remus”.
“So?”
“So what? He needs to sleep! You saw him, these time the transformation was very bad”
“No, I meant the detention. What do you care? We've had plenty before.” enquired James.
“I know, but if we get detention now it'll mean we have less time to search for a bloody solution to this whole thing”
James stared at him fondly. He liked how Sirius cared, but then he smiled smugly.
“Godric, you had it bad, don't you?” Sirius finally looked up at him, visibly confused.
“Have what bad?”
“Nothing never mind.” Said James, still smiling.
“THIS IS IT!” screamed Sirius suddenly. Peter gave a jump on his seat. “THIS IS IT, GUYS!” repited Sirius; James told him to shut up, but the other boy continued to point excitedly at the book in front of him.
“Animagi?” said James, reading upside down.
Peter scanned the page.
“Seems a bit complicated, don't you think?”
James took the book to read it as well.
“It's perfect! Nice one Pads”.
Sirius beamed at his friend. His chest filled with pride. He knew they have finally found the answered. (Oh, and for the record, these earned Sirius another forehead kiss from a teary-eyed Remus). That night, they all sneak back to the dorm, feeling satisfied. “This is it. I've found the solution.”
.
Fifth year was a bittersweet one for him. Sirius had finally ran away from home. He had spent the summer worrying about his brother, crying privately – until James told him everyone cried -, and being blue; but surrounded with friends who wanted to cheer him up. Then when they entered Hogwarts everything was suddenly very strange. Sirius got a girlfriend, a Gryffindor student one year below who was more like a lost puppy following him around and praising him and Remus started disappearing often, taking the map with him. But bear with us a moment, for the strangest of all was when James helped Sirius look for their friend and found him behind the quidditch pitch with a very handsome hufflepuff bloke. The next days had been awkward until Remus realized all of his friends were fine with him being gay and Sirius realized he was absolutely jealous of Remus´s boyfriend. Of course he broke up with the little girl without giving her and explanation neither to her nor to his friends. “Excuse him” said James apologetically every time Sirius did something reckless that year “his been through a lot with running away and everything”.
On the other hand Regulus wouldn´t so much as looked at him. Snape and his cronies were being more insufferable than ever. They took upon their personal duty to bully muggleborns and half-blood magicians, which included Moony; Sirius was livid. Then somehow Snape made Regulus part of his gang and was sure to rub it onto Sirius´s nose as often as he could. Snape would have Regulus mess Sirius´s backpack or shooting him a hex. But the last stroke for Sirius was when, on his birthday, Snape charmed a bucket to dump on him a runny red liquid that smelled awfully like blood “Happy birthday bloodtraitor. There´s more where that came from” he had hissed. Sirius was blind with rage and that was the terrible time when he came up with the prank.
They were close to Christmas break and Remus didn´t said a single word to him for the rest of November and the beggining of December. Sirius had never felt this awful, he damned his recklessness. He swore to himself he would make it up to Moony, if he ever talk to him again, “ And even if he doesn´t ever talk to me again” he thought. He heard James trying to talk to Remus “You have to forgive him Moony, ha has been through a lot this year, you saw him, you saw the state on which he arrived at my house”. But Remus was past the point of screaming back. One of the first days he had said “Wallburga would be proud” and that had slapped him even harder than an actual punch. But when James insisted on making peace he´d just stare at him, his looked varied over the days from angry, to hurt, to blank.
Those months they sink onto a miserable routine. Remus would wakeup sooner that everyone grabbed breakfast and go to the library then to class; back to the library and at night he would walk past them as if they weren´t even there and shut his curtains. Lily Evans became his personal bodyguard. They grew close and she didn´t let Remus out of his sight and Merlin forbid any of the marauders tried to approach Remus; she would scream at their faces and hex the hell out of them. They were at the platform 9 ¾ and Lily had already went home. Remus stood there with his shabby suitcase shifting uncomfortably while waiting for his parents. This was Sirius last chance, the Potters had already arrived but James was distracting them.
“Moony” whined Sirius. No answer. “Please, I´m so, so, so very sorry.”
Remus waved his parents. He signaled them and turned around. Sirius light up eager to finally receive acknowledgement.
“I guess I understand your reasons and I´ve know what you were like since the first day” Sirius was nodding hopefully “James talked to Lily. She told me. I understand. But I don´t forgive you.”
Sirius heart sank to a pit unreachable to any wizard, it was the first time Sirius cry on public. Remus gaze wasn´t blank anymore he looked like an animal fatally wounded. There was no rage, there was just sadness and resignation.
“I´m not angry anymore, okay?” Sirius knew it was true; but it still felt worse, somehow. “I just can´t do this” he continued. “I can´t be friends with people who… we are no longer friends. We´ll just be roommates”. He declared as he hung tightly to his suitcase.
He turned around and left Sirius standing. James fetch him; hugging him just like Sirius used to hug Regulus. He felt as if the air was missing and he thought “This is it. I´m going to die and I´ll die without Moony. This is all my fault”.
.
The second realization of the year came that same Christmas. He and James shared a room, and Sirius was terribly sad. Nothing could cheer him up. “He looks even worse than he did this summer” James wrote to Lily that Christmas – that among other things -. “Remus isn't in better shape, but he's made a decision” he read on the received letter. James and Lily wrtoe to each other an awful lot that Crhistmas, and they never stopped wrtting after that. “They are miserable without each other” James answered on his next letter.
Even Fleamont and Euphemia noticed, and try to cheer their adopted son. They'd apparate them to other countries just to spend the evening, or they´d visit diagon alley several times a week. It was in fact on one of these trips that Sirius had another enlightenment. They had just stepped out of Madam Malkin´s Robes for All Occasions – The Potter's had bought James and Sirius expensive dress clothes for their annual Christmas party – when suddenly old Jeff Diggory approach them. “Fleamont, Euphemia! What a lovely surprise!” he said.
“And who do we have here?” asked the old man, looking past the adults.
Euphemia turned towards the two boys with a fond smile.
“Jeff, these are our sons, James and Sirius” she said simply.
Sirius almost chocked, his hart skipped a beat and his checks turned bright pink. James passed an arm around Sirius's shoulders and ruffled his hair.
“Lovely family you've both got. Well, better get going, I'm not turning any younger, you know? I'll look forward to seeing you at your party, you too, young gentlemen”.
And with that they carried on, but Sirius felt his steps were light, like a feather being levitated.
Moony didn't come to the Christmas party excusing himself with being sick, but the other three boys knew he wasn't, James had told them he was spending Christmas Eve with Lily. Remus, "as polite as always" thoght Sirius, sent Christmas cards. One for James's parents, apologizing for not being able to show up and wishing them well. One for Peter and for James. Sirius was surprised to find one with his name on it. Peter told the boys Remus found a book about a plant Peter had been going nuts to find himself, and on the Christmas card it explains widely the subject. James's card contained a written apology for treating him coldly, he also thanked him for supporting him and promised to talk him up to Lily. Sirius card simply said “Merry Christmas –Remus Lupin” as if it was destined to anyone who found it. Sirius thought this was the worst Christmas of all.
However, that changed the very next day when he found his presents under the tree. They had both received new brooms. James had received a quilt that had belonged to his great grandma, and Sirius was given a little box that contained Desdemos Potter medal.
“Wow! Can I touch it?” asked James, “Dad had always had it in his study, he never lets me touch it. Is a family heirloom, you know?”
Sirius ears turned pink.
But the greatest gift was the one a sleepy Euphemia and Fleamont handed themselves. It was a piece of paper with the ministry of magic seal. Sirius scrunched up his face.
“What's this?” he asked carefully.
“Well if you open it you'll find out” answered mysteriously Fleamont.
James looked at his parents puzzled. Sirius opened the letter and he gasped. James flew to his side and screamed, “Merlin's balls!”
“James Fleamont Potter!”
“Sorry” he said with a timid smile.
His parents had never heard him swear, although he cursed a lot on school.
“Is this for real?” Sirius managed to ask.
“You just have to sign it, and it will be official. Of course if you prefer not to... it wouldn't change anything” explained Euphemia.
Sirius had tears running down his cheeks. He could barely see thought them. His hand was shaking; he was surprised he was able to sign with all the emotion he was radiating. It was all too much, in a good way.
Then the letter was sent by owl. Inside a shaky sign, and the two elegant signs of the Potters on a document that said “These adoptions paper are expedite with the plead of Euphemia Potter and James Potter with the purpose of naming Sirius Orion Black as the legitimate son and heir along with James Fleamont Potter”. And then another piece of parchment tinnier that the first one where it stated “Thought this document is stated and approved the change of surname for Sirius Orion Black to Sirius Orion Potter. The ministry will send back modified copies of all Mr. Potter paperwork, such as birth certificate, Hogwarts enrolment and ministry's record for the flying carpet incident. Mr. Sirius Potter would sign them once everything is correctly modified, and he would appear before the law as Sirius Orion Potter”. Sirius's heart felt like it would explode and as they all ate breakfast he thought, “This is it. This is how it feels to have a family”.
.
“Mr. Potter!” screamed McGonagall on the busy hallway.
“Yes?” said Sirius and James at the same time with a smug smile.
McGonagall rolled her eyes with the tinniest of smiles haunting her lips.
“Mr. James Potter, a moment, please”.
They were now in sixth year, however, answering simultaneously when someone said "Mr. Potter" never seemed to get old. Sirius caught up with Remus and Lily who were just passing by.
“How’s the handsomest of the Potters boys?” asked Remus putting his arms around Sirius's shoulders.
“I heard that!” screamed James while walking away with McGonagall.The three friends laughed. The shorter boy stood on his tippy-toes to give Remus a kiss on the cheek. It had taken an incredible amount of effort to make peace after the prank, and Sirius seemed to be making the most out of the time he spent with Remus no matter how much time had passed.
That year on his birthday, Sirius received his inheritance from his uncle. It was a ridiculous amount of money and, considering he was also the heir of the Potters, one could say that Sirius Potter was absurdly rich. Of course the first thing he did was buy presents for his family and friends, also why not? Buying for himself a huge stuck of Dr. Filibuster´s Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat fireworks. But then Fleamont had sat him down to a serious talk about finances. After that, Sirius thought a lot, not only about money but about his life in general, and speccially about that special feeling that seemed to rise to his chest under the most bizarre circumstances.
He eventually came to terms with the fact that he would never have any kind of bond with his old family. However, he did come to terms with Reggie. He came to terms with the fact that only James had been selected for the Appley Arrows – he found out that even though he was good at quidditch he wasn't as passionate about it as James, besides speaking frankly both of them could afford not to work after Hogwarts-. He even came to terms with the fact that Remus John Lupin had blown him off his socks from the very first prank they had done, but Sirius just hadn't realized it at the time.
Sirius was feeling nervous, more nervous than the day they brew polyjuice potion with McGonagall’s hair in it. He was on the great hall and James was trying to calm him down.
“It's okay, I can't see any turn out to this that's bad for you” said Lily who was sitting beside James, head resting on his boyfriend shoulder - After Christmas break of fifth year and to the surprise of everyone she had accepted a date with an ecstatic James.
“It's just… you know, Moony... well, more like Moony is a mystery. What if he gets mad?”
“Well, it is not like you put his name on it." Said James but after a pause he continued “you didn't put his name right?”
“Course not James, I'm not a thick head like you”
“Hey!”
“Sorry I'm nervous, you know I love you”
This time the “hey” came from Lily, “he's spoken for, young man” she snorted and James smiled brightly at her.
“Sirius, for real, you need to – “
“Sirius Orion Mother fucking Potter!” Remus bursted into the great hall.
Every single head turned to look at him and McGonagall stood up from the teacher's table.
“Mr. Lupin – “she said.
But Remus was walking rapidly towards Sirius with a paper in hand. Sirius went pale. He tried to stand up from his seat, but his friend got to him first. Remus took him by the collar and made him stand up. As soon as Sirius saw his face up close, he smiled. Remus wasn't mad. He was out of breath, he was shacking, but he had that wild, wonderful flicker in his eyes. He wasn't mad.
“Pads, please explain” said Remus closely to his face, his tone more of a warning, but Sirius knew better than to back down.
“I thought you could read Moons”.
“Is this for real?” asked Remus full of hope, his grip loosened a bit.
“A hundred percent. Now, Mrss Moony, would you mind letting go of me and don't wrinkle, that paper is the original document”.
Remus put the sheet of parchment on the table, on it could be read: “The St. Mungo's hospital institution gratefully accepts your generous donation of 1000 galleons in order to open a research lab on lycanthropy and similar affections.” He was now only gripping Sirius with one hand.
“I just… this is… and you” said Remus.
His hand flew up to his collar again, gripping him firmly, and then he pulled. His lips crashed and Sirius forgot how to breathe. It was a more of a clumsy peck. Remus stood back looking scared, searching for Sirius reaction. The shorter boy cupped the sandy haired boy and took him in for a proper kiss. Their lips touched softly; it was like casting a spell, feeling all the energy climb up your body, suddenly his knees went weak and all he could do has to hold on to Moony for dear life. His heart beating for Remus. In his mind there was nothing but a voice that kept saying, “This is it. This is it. This is it.”