Give Her Time
Hermione walked all the way out of St. Mungos and into the street beyond. Even in the cool air she felt suffocated. Harry, ever the amazing friend, followed her out. She turned to him abruptly and said, “Can I stay with you and Ginny?”
He was quick to answer, not even the barest note of hesitation. “Of course you can.”
“Can we go now?” Hermione asked, subconsciously trying to pry the ring off of her finger. Without a word he grabbed her hand, tugging it away from her fruitless pursuit and apparated them into a spacious home. Sitting on the couch flipping through the daily prophet was none other than a very pregnant Ginny.
She stood when she saw Hermione there and immediately came over to give her a hug of greeting. She smiled brightly and said, “It’s good to see you. I know it’s only been a week, but it feels like it’s been so much longer.” For Hermione it had been longer. She hadn’t seen Ginny since Bill and Fleur’s wedding- nearly five months. Or seven years and two months, depending on how she thought about it. She tried not to think about it. It hurt her brain too much.
“Funnily enough,” Hermione said, “I lost all of my memories and can’t remember anything past December of 1997.” She tried to say it with an air of lightness, but it came off as something so pitiful that Hermione wanted to curl in on herself and die.
“Oh.” Ginny said, her eyes widening as she looked to Harry for confirmation.
He snorted and said, “Bet you’re wishing you could have a drink right about now.”
Ginny only glared at him and Harry took that as an invitation to explain the morning’s events to her.
***
The three of them were sitting in the smaller of their two sitting rooms, in an odd semicircle. “I need you to explain.” Hermione said. “Not everything right now. But I want to know about everything that happened at the end of 1997 up to when you killed Voldemort.”
“Hermione,” Harry started gently, “The nurse said not to tell you too much at once. She said it could be damaging to your mind.”
“I know, I know, I just want to know a little. I don’t think this would be harmful to me, since it’ll make sense. If we go in order I’ll be able to see the progression.” Harry still seemed unsure. “I’ll let you know if my head starts to hurt.”
“Fine.” Harry said, giving in. “But any pain or lightheadedness and you have to tell us immediately.”
“Okay.” Hermione agreed amicably. “So?” She prompted when he didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“Alright. So, we were camping, moving around every few days and- Merlin I can’t even remember the precise order of things. Oh well, here goes. So on Christmas we decided to go to Godric’s Hollow because we thought maybe there was a horcrux hidden there or something. But it ended up being a big waste because there was nothing useful there at all. Nagini, the snake was like possessing Batilda Bagshot’s corpse- and I’m sorry that’s kind of gross- and she called to Voldemort and attacked us. And we got away just as Voldemort was arriving. But you broke my wand in the process. It was really quite problematic for us actually, very tense.
“So I’m keeping watch and suddenly I see something in the forrest. It’s like this silvery wisp, but turns out its a patronus- a doe. And naturally, I followed it.”
“Naturally.” Ginny said, rolling her eyes.
“Hey!” Harry protested. “I was young and naive. So I follow it to the edge of this pond, and remember its dead of winter here, so cold as ass. And the pond is like half frozen over. But there, I can see the fucking Sword of Gryffindor, just chilling down there. So I dive in to grab it and the locket flips its shit and starts choking me. So I’m underwater and being choked. Essentially I’m drowning and choking at the same time- great combo by the way and then someone dives in and saves me and grabs the sword. Obviously I think it’s you because it was just us, but then Ron is just standing there.
“And he destroyed the horcrux and we went back to the tent. You were mad as hell, punching him and all around screaming. But you got over it pretty quickly and Ron had gotten into a bit of a fight with some snatchers so he had spare wands for us. Speaking of snatchers, not long after snatchers caught us and brought us to Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix tortured you, that’s how you got that word on your arm. She carved it with her knife. She left and Draco snuck in and healed you.
“While later Dobby came and saved us, but he died in the process.” Hermione didn’t even have the chance to mourn the loss of that lovely little house elf when Harry was already continuing on. “We broke into Bellatrix’s vault at Gringotts and stole another horcrux, but Bellatrix had the sword now so we couldn’t destroy it. Then we went to Hogwarts and the battle started. We forced Snape and the death eaters out and soon enough Voldemort was there and everyone was fighting. We used a basilisk fang to destroy the horcrux from Gringotts and found another in the Room of Requirement- specifically the Room of Hidden Things. We just needed to kill Nagini and Voldemort and it would be over.
“We snuck into the Shrieking Shack because we knew that was where Voldemort had Nagini, just in time to witness Voldemort kill Snape. I went to him as he was dying and he gave me his memories. I went to the pensive in Dumbledore’s old office and watched them through, found out that Snape was good all along and that I was a horcrux. I knew I had to let Voldemort kill me, because otherwise he would never die. I knew that if I put it off we might never have another chance like this one. So I went down under the invisibility cloak. Fred was dead, so were Remus and Tonks. I went out to the Forbidden Forrest where Voldemort was waiting for me and let him kill me. Only it didn’t work. He killed the horcrux, but not me. I survived and Narcissa checked to make sure I was dead and when she found out I wasn’t, she lied and told Voldemort I was.
“Neville killed the snake. I killed Voldemort. Kingsley became minister of magic, temporarily, until everything could be sorted out. And the trials started up. Lucius got life in Azkaban, Narcissa got some house arrest and Draco got a few months of house arrest and then Hogwarts-arrest and then he was free. You and I defended him at his trial and Ron didn’t. We three were living in Grimmauld Place together, but Ron started being a right git, he was so mad at us for defending Draco. So we kicked him out and you broke up with him.”
“He was an arse when he came back to the burrow too.” Ginny said. “He was always brooding and snapping at everyone. We were all grieving Fred, and everyone grieves in their own way, but Ron got nasty. Draco, Harry, you, Lavender, Pansy, Theo, Blaise, Hannah, Neville and Ernie went back to Hogwarts to redo your seventh year with my year, Ron stayed home. he drank himself half to death living off mum and dad’s charity until one day he just up and left. We didn’t hear from him for months. Mum was worried sick, sending him letter after letter with no response. Half of them came back to the house without even being opened.
“We were all just finishing out our last year when we got word he’d gotten himself a job a few shops down from George in Diagon Alley. I went down there soon as school ended and shouted at him for a good while about worrying mum so much. But he’d sobered up and was starting to get his life together, so I wasn’t all that mad. He came to Harry and I’s wedding and kept trying to get you to take him back. He got really mad when you turned him down and stormed out. But you were already with Draco by then. He came crawling back and apologized to you, but he stopped speaking to you when he found out about you and Draco.
“Harry and I defended you and he hasn’t spoken to any of us since, not even when I had James. He doesn’t work in Diagon Alley anymore. None of us know where’s gone. Mum’s been a wreck. Only one son died and yet somehow she’s lost too.”
“I’m sorry,” Hermione said softly. “It’s my fault.”
“It’s not.” Harry said. “I defended Draco first, not you. That’s what set it off. I’m the one who kicked him out of Grimmauld Place, it was all me.”
Hermione began to feel the room closing in on her again. She was suffocating and she wondered if this is what Harry had felt like in that pond, with water in his lungs and the horcrux strangling him. None of what either of them had said made any sense to her whatsoever, she’d been wrong before, she wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready to find out that Fred, Remus, Tonks and Dobby were dead and Ron was lost to them, maybe for forever. It was all too much, too much, too soon, too fast, too much. “My head hurts.” She whispered and Ginny was immediately beside her, tucking her into her side and whispering comforting words into her hair.
Once the pain ebbed and she’d calmed Ginny led her upstairs to the guest bedroom and pulled in the sheets around her. The day was only halfway through and already she was exhausted. It only took a few minutes before she fell into an uneasy sleep plagued with dreams of an old woman’s corpse falling away to reveal a snake within, Harry gasping underwater and struggling for life, even as ice caked the surface of the water, trapping him under, Fred’s corpse, Ron’s raging face, Malfoy’s lips on hers.
When she woke the sun was low over the horizon. It had to be eight or nine then, if she was remembering correctly. Everything seemed just a little foggy. She slid from under her cocoon of blankets and tiptoed out of her room and to the top of the stairs. She was about to go down when she heard voices below. Malfoy and Harry, she soon realized.
“Does she remember me at all?” Malfoy asked.
“Only the bad stuff.” Harry replied sadly.
Peaking through the rails of the banister, Hermione could see them, standing in the front entrance of the house. “Can I see her? Maybe that would help her to remember.” Malfoy said, his voice was painfully optimistic.
Harry shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. She got worse, when we told her some of the things that happened during her lost time.”
Malfoy groaned, massaging his temples. “She’s my wife.” It was soft, like he was trying to remind himself of that fact.
“I know, I know.” Harry said. “But she can’t remember being that for you. You need to give her time.”
“She’s never going to see me like that again. She sees me as the monster I used to be.” Malfoy’s eyes were red. He’d been crying, and he seemed to be on the verge of it again.
“She forgave you once before, she’ll do it again.” Harry assured him. “You need to remember, her mind is in 1997 still. She testified on your behalf in 1998, she’d already started to forgive you then. She’ll reach that point again, you just have to give her a little bit of time.”
Malfoy inhaled a shaky breath and nodded. “Thanks, Harry. Is she going to be staying here for the foreseeable future?”
“Yes, I think so.” Harry replied. “For as long as she would like anyway, I’m sure she’ll get sick of us soon, one year old and all.”
Malfoy gave a little laugh and said, “Do me a favor and try not to turn her against me.”
Harry barked a laugh and replied, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Just then Ginny entered the room and Malfoy’s face brightened. “Weaselette!” He strode over to give her a quick hug and said, “You look like you’re about to burst, you sure you’re supposed to be moving? He’s going to fall out of you.”
Ginny took the insult in stride and replied, “You sure you should be seen like this ferret? Look like you could’ve filled a swimming pool with your tears. I can’t imagine that’s very good for the Malfoy image.”
Hermione was sure Malfoy was about start throwing curses but he just tipped his head back and laughed- a real one this time. Hermione wasn’t sure when she’d learned to tell the difference.
The realization had her standing from her crouch and walking back into the guest room and climbing into bed before anyone could notice her. She stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours before sleep claimed her.
Breakfast in the Potter house was an entire ordeal. Hermione woke in the morning with her stomach growling from the lack of food. She’d eaten nothing all day yesterday and it was catching up with her. She slid out of bed and shuffled down the stairs to find Harry already in the kitchen, scrambling eggs, cooking bacon, brewing coffee and buttering toast- all non-magically and with a toddler clinging to his leg. Ginny was on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her, almost concealing her pregnancy.
“You know how to cook?” Hermione asked, by way of greeting.
Harry laughed before remembering himself. Apparently there was a memory associated with this, Hermione noted, marking that bit of information down internally for later. “Yeah, I used to cook all the time at the Dursley’s.” He replied.
The little boy, James, looked up when Hermione spoke, seeing her for the first time. “My-Minnie.” He said happily, reaching for her. He detached himself from his dad’s leg and waddled over to her, his hands opening and closing as he reached for her. “Up.”
“What do you say, James?” Harry asked, looking at his son sternly over his glasses.
The effect he was going for was not achieved due to the roundness of the lenses, but it did succeed it making the child say something that sounded like a garbled “Please?”
She obliged the little boy and scooped him up into her arms, kissing his jet black hair. “And how are you today, James?” She asked as she repositioned him to her hip.
He grinned up at her and said, “My doggie flies.”
“Your doggie?” She said in an indulgent, child-tailored voice. “Can I see?”
She set the little boy down and he toddled off to go find his doggie. Once he was out of earshot she turned to Harry with a raised eyebrow and said, “Stuffed, I assume.”
Harry shrugged. “I have no idea what that kid is talking about like ninety percent of the time. Let’s hope its the stuffed one, I don’t think Max would appreciate being levitated through the air on a toy broomstick.”
Hermione laughed and snatched a piece of bacon out of the pan it was frying on. “You have a dog?”
“Two actually.” Harry supplied. “And a cat.”
“And a gecko.” Ginny called from the couch. “You always forget the gecko.”
“Right, how could I forget about Ziggy?” Harry said.
“Ziggy the gecko.” Hermione said with a laugh.
“Because he zigs.” Harry said. “Again, I do not understand toddlers.”
“So where is this gecko and the cat and dogs?” Hermione asked, missing Crookshanks terribly.
“I expect the dogs- Sadie and Max- are still in Gin and I’s bed, they’re quite lazy. Thunder- the cat- is curled up with Gin and the gecko is in my office.” Harry hesitated for a moment before he said, “You have cats too, Crookshanks and two others, and two dogs. The first dog is Cinnamon, she’s a chocolate lab, golden retriever mix. And the other is a black lab mixed with some sort of pointer- she’s Mika. Then Crookshanks of course, and then you’ve got Lucy and Ember.”
“I want to go to the house. I want to see them and get some of my things.” Hermione said suddenly. “I don’t want to see Malfoy though.”
“Okay.” Harry said with a sigh. “I can take you after breakfast. Draco’ll be at work.”
“Okay.” Hermione said back, plucking up another piece of sizzling bacon.