Vicious
Remus hadn’t realised that they had been back at school for an entire month until he woke up with a pain in his neck, and his back, and his legs and arms and shoulders and also his head. He sighed checking the calendar strung up on the wall beside his bed, it was still on Septembers page (with a moving picture of the five of them standing by the black lake, their hair blowing in the wind, all wrapped up in scarfs but grinning widely). Dorcas had gifted it to him last Christmas, when she found out about his ‘dirty little secret’ as Barty liked to call it, “to make sure you don’t lose track and bite all our heads off” she had said once he had torn off the wrapping paper. It was incredibly thoughtful and just so Dorcas.
He sighed at seeing that all of the boxes had been crossed off and flipped the page over, revealing a photograph of the five of them with carved pumpkins over their heads. Barty had gotten his stuck (of course) and it took all of them, plus the tools from a supply cupboard to get it off. Above the photo in big letters read: ‘OCTOBER’. He noted that the big red circle indicating the date of the full moon was only a few days away and groaned to himself at the thought of the gruelling transformation, dropping his head back down into his pillows and pulling the sheet up above his head.
Once he had managed to get himself up and out of bed he realised that the box with the big read circle also contained a note scrawled out in black ink, he squinted and leaned closer, ‘GRYFFINDOR VS. SLYTHERIN!!!’ was the message he was greeted with. Evan must had added it on, along with probably all of the other quidditch matches for the rest of the year.
“you know this isn’t a bloody communal calendar right?” he said grumpily, spinning around and looking at Evan who was stood shirtless in the middle of the room, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth- toothpaste dripping down his chin.
“uh oh!” Barty called out from inside his bed before Evan could answer, his were curtains still drawn so Remus couldn’t see him, “bad moons a’rising!”
At once, all three of his roommates, including Evan (albeit through a mouthful of toothpaste) starting howling obnoxiously.
Every fucking month
Remus stormed out and rushed into the bathroom and filled up a glass of water, from within the bathroom he could here them all laughing and grinded his teeth together in agitation. He stalked back into the room, glass full to the brim and tore open Barty’s bed curtains, proceeding to throw the water all over him.
The laughter ceased for a minute as Regulus and Evan processed what had just happened and then immediately started up again, harder this time. Predictably, Barty - who seemed to be paralysed in shock, jaw wide open, his matching green and black striped pyjama set soaked, the fabric stuck to his chest and his hair was wet against his forehead - was not laughing.
“catching flies eh Barty?” Remus taunted, setting the empty glass down on the bedside table. Barty looked up at him darkly before springing out of bed, soaking wet and furious.
“get back here Lupin, you bloody bastard!” he shouted, enraged as Remus ran laps around the dorm with his very wet, very angry, little friend chasing him.
He laughed loudly as he clambered over the beds, Barty following close behind, the two spectators pissing themselves at this wonderful morning entertainment. As he clambered over his own bed his foot got caught on a blanket and he tripped into the mattress with an ‘omph’. But before he could recover Barty came flying at him, landing on top of him and pinning him down. Remus struggled to shove him off but the damage was done, his faded David Bowie t-shirt was already sopping wet and Barty was now shaking his head like a dog, spraying water all over Remus and his bed.
Eventually they stopped grappling and Barty rolled off him, drying himself in Remus’ covers once more for good measure and skipping off to the shower with an evil little laugh before Remus got there first. Entirely defeated, Remus looked up at his other roommates to see them an absolute state. Regulus was red in the face and had tear tracks streaming down his cheeks and Evan was clutching his stomach, toothpaste dribble all down his front- the toothbrush was nowhere to be seen.
“Lupin, you really are the hero of my dreams” Regulus eventually said, wiping away tears.
“I’m glad you two found it so amusing” he said, trying his hardest to stop the inevitable smile that was spreading across his face.
“oh I’m glad too” Evan said, still laughing, “that has really made my morning”.
Remus smiled and Regulus got up from sitting on his bed (he was already fully dressed and ready to go of course), and went over to Remus’ bed muttering a quick drying charm, and then doing the same to Barty’s. A true God among men, was Regulus Black.
>
The next few days passed seamlessly, he was a bit cranky, but that was nothing out of the usual, and before he knew it there were only two days until the full. The boys had all gone out for quidditch practice and Dorcas was nowhere to be found so Remus headed off to the library to try get ahead in the classes he would miss due to the moon. It was a rather miserable day, the rain battered heavily against the windows and he could hear the loud howl of the wind bristling through the trees.
He shivered thinking about his friends out on their brooms in this weather and was once again reminded of what a great decision it was to not join the quidditch team. Remus enjoyed the cooler months though, it was serine and cosy and it made his transformations much easier, unlike in the summer months when the wolf became agitated with the hot heaviness of Scottish humidity. Though he did enjoy other aspects of summer, like lounging out by the lake with his friends, reading under a shady tree, late night evenings smoking or drinking and playing music from Doracs’ little radio.
Reaching the library, he sat down at a table in the back, it was almost completely surrounded by bookshelves and he often sought refuge there when he needed some peace and quiet. The library wasn’t empty, there were a few students dotted around but it wasn’t so busy that people were causing distractions, he pulled out his books and got to work.
He had been working for a good few hours when he heard footsteps approaching, he kept his head down expecting it to be Regulus coming to find him or Barty hoping to be lent some extra weed. Instead he was greeted by much worse than a concerned friend or a drug fiend.
"Lupin." A distinct voice said, making his head snap up in slight surprise.
"Black." He said nonchalantly, looking back to his notes "what do you want?"
"certainly not you." Sirius scoffed, "I'm just looking for a book." he said airily, avoiding eye contact with Remus who had now looked up again.
"wow. you can read?" Remus said in mock amazement.
"yes." Sirius bit back, rolling his eyes.
He raised his eyebrows at Sirius with a taunting smile but said nothing and once again turned back to his work. Unfortunately the other boy seemed incapable of being quiet for more than two minutes, he kept mumbling swears to himself and completely ruining the bookshelves as he tore down numerous books and dropped them down onto Remus' table.
"do you have to do that?" Remus snapped as yet another book dropped down, making him jolt and smudge his ink.
"do what?" Sirius asked innocently not looking at him.
"that." Remus said as he dropped what must have been the tenth book down from the shelf.
"well sorry, but I can't find what I'm looking for." he huffed.
"unfortunate." Remus shrugged, "but if you don't stop, I will not hesitate to hex you."
This seemed to catch Sirius' attention and he leaned back to look at Remus, raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'I dare you'. Remus ignored him and kept trying to block out the sound of books dropping, but his patience was thinning, and he wanted nothing more than for Sirius to leave.
"fucking hell!" he sighed, "what is it exactly that you are looking for?"
"how kind of you to ask, I didn't know you cared so dearly for me." he smirked.
Remus curled his top lip up at him in distain, “I’m asking in hopes that someone with a brain might be able to find it, and then you can fuck off”
“is that ‘person with a brain’ in the room with us right now?” Sirius asked looking around in a drawn out matter than made Remus anger flare, he didn’t say anything.
“fine” Sirius sighed, apparently already bored with his charade, “I'm looking for a book on the werewolf code of conduct."
Remus cursed to himself, of all the books in this bloody school it had to be that one didn’t it? He bit down on his bottom lip and sighed.
“why do you need it?”
“what is this, 20 questions?” he scoffed, “it’s for a paper in defence against the dark arts”
“that was due a month ago.” Remus said looking up at him incredulously.
“okay? Not everyone is a swot Lupin- do you know where the book is or not?”
Remus paid no attention to his comment and sighed again, “I have a copy in my dorm”
“well it’s not doing any good there is it?”
Remus once again, bit back his anger and gave the boy in front of him a faux smile that was closer to a snarl, "accio werewolf code of conduct book."
They waited for a few moments and Sirius sighed impatiently. Just as he did, the tatty old book came flying through the room with impeccable speed and skimmed his head making him duck down in shock- his magic got a bit out of whack around the full moon. Remus effortlessly caught the book in one hand- his strength heightened around the full moon too, and he smiled smugly at the shocked look on Sirius face.
He was hesitant about turning the book over, he had been in possession of it since his first year and had underlined things he thought were of particular interest to him- it was practically a case study of himself at this point. He knew it was too late to refuse to turn over the book now (for fear Sirius would become suspicious), and muttered a quick cleansing spell over it to rid it of his notes. He slid the book over the table to where Sirius was standing and muttered that he was to return it immediately once he was done, claiming it was a ‘personal copy’, he just hoped Sirius wouldn’t see the ‘property of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry’ stamped on the back page.
Sirius picked it up and turned it over a few times in his hands, he opening his mouth to say something- presumably a ‘witty’ comment about the condition of the book but Remus cut him off before he could speak.
“you can fuck off now. Don’t need the formalities.”
Sirius faltered for a moment before his mouth turned into a thin line, “my pleasure, dickhead”, and with that he sauntered out of the library, Remus’ book in hand.
He watched him go with an overwhelming feeling of agitation bubbling up in his stomach, he knew one thing for sure- Sirius Black was the most infuriating person Remus had ever met in his life and he had never hated anyone so bitterly. Trying to shake his anger, Remus packed up his things and left, leaving the numerous amount of books Sirius had left lying on the table, Madame Pince was sure to have a field day once she saw it and he had no intentions of sticking around to feel her wrath.
The day of the quidditch match (and coincidentally the full moon) finally rolled around bringing hallways filled with excited students with it. Almost all of Hogwarts was dressed for the occasion, decked out in either red or green (mostly red- let's be realistic). Remus distanced himself at breakfast, feeling as though he was in some old fashion French surrealism film, every sound amplified; the sound of cutlery scraping together made his eardrums feel as though they would burst- the sound of Barty slurping on his juice made him wish they would, he thought he would be better off deaf.
He felt Regulus' presence beside him before he even spoke, turning around to face him, “you look like shit.” Regulus said matter-of-factly.
“thanks.” Remus grunted.
“oh dear” Regulus sighed, “how you feeling?”
“how am I feeling?”
“yeah.. about tonight.”
“hmm, let’s see.. how am I feeling about tonight, when I break every bone in my body and then turn into a murderous monster, clawing at myself until I pass out.. I’d say pretty great.” Remus shot back, sticking his fork into his sausage so violently that he cracked the plate.
“okay, sorry.” Regulus sighed holding his hand up in surrender, “I’ll walk with you to the hospital wing later if you want?”
“Reg, you’ve got a match.” Remus said trying his best to smile, “Don’t worry about me- all you need to focus on is beating Gryffindor, okay?”
“no problem there.” He smiled smugly, “as long as you’re sure you-“
“Regulus.” Remus interrupted, stern tone making in obvious he didn’t want to be fretted over.
“okay, okay, I’ll get off your back.” he smiled, patting Remus lightly on the shoulder before making his way over to Lucius Malfoy, who was beckoning him over to where the rest of the quidditch team had gathered.
The day seemed to flow at an incredibly tedious pace, Remus was constantly fighting of a fever that was causing him to sweat and shiver at the same time, and every joint in his body was almost screaming at him to stop with every step he took. He made a hasty decision to skip his final class and turned around just as he reached the classroom, snaking away quickly in the other direction as to make sure no one noticed him fleeing.
He walked round the back of the castle, down past Hagrid’s hut and settled down against a tree so that he was mostly hidden; from both sight and the cold autumn chill that clipped at his ears and slipped down his neck. His fingers were numb, making him struggle to pry the cigarette carton out from his coat pocket, they trembled slightly as he pulled one out and tried to light it. The flame from his lighter was weak and refused to last long enough for him to light the damned thing, he presumed it was one of Barty’s- they never seemed to work. He managed to light it with magic instead, like Regulus had taught him, controlled by just a click of his fingers.
That was the thing about Regulus’ magic, it was so meticulously controlled, an art in itself. Remus knew he was a good wizard, he was aware of his power, aware of how to use the extra strength he gained due to his condition to his advantage, but what he lacked was control. He had nearly burnt down their dorm many times, had actually burnt Evans eyebrows off before and he was quite certain poor Professor Flitwick was absolutely terrified of him after the many times Remus had sent objects flying his way at an incredible speed during charms class. He knew he needed to harbour his power, shape it into something of his own, manipulate his magic to answer to him- he wanted to be the master of his own body, not the magic, and certainly not the wolf.
Dusk was beginning to settle, the pale grey of the sky being swallowed up by the darkness of the night- the moon would be at its highest point soon, Remus didn’t dare look at it as he walked along with Madame Pomfrey to the whomping willow. The branches swung ferociously, angry and restless, leaves falling to the ground with every furious lunge. Remus breathed in, heavily through his nose letting the cold air sting his nostrils, he pursed his lips together and came to a halt just meters from the deadly tree. He did often wonder if the willow was the most logical way of getting to the shack without being followed, probably not- perhaps a portkey, or just a passage slightly less likely to kill. Barty said that it was probably just a excuse for Dumbledore to have a whomping willow on the grounds, it was pretty cool, and more importantly it did the trick. In Remus’ third year a group of students started a game of who could get the closest to the trunk without getting hit, it was a fifth year boy, he won the game but lost his sight. After that no one went near the tree again.
Madame Pomfrey casted the charm that stilled the tree for long enough for the two of them to slip through the branches and press the knot, opening up the passage that led to the shack. They walked in silence, Remus wincing slightly with every step as he felt his muscles tighten, his bodies way of preparing itself for the transformation.
She left him at the door, with a kiss on the forehead and a small sad smile, telling him she would be back first thing tomorrow morning. He thanked her and watched as her figure retreated back down the dark passage, sighing he opened the old door and stepped into the house. He was greeted with the same smell as always, it stung as he breathed it in, metallic and dirt and urine. Animal. It made him want to gag. Through the cracks in the boarded up windows he could see the pale light from the moon, a beacon for him, a warning telling him to prepare. His head went first, an overwhelming headache that made him want to put a bullet through his brain. It throbbed and gave a sickening crack, tears spang to his eyes as he pressed his palms to his temples and cried out, doubling over in pain. The agony spread down his neck, across his shoulders, through his arms and down to his back. It left his insides feeling like molten iron, his skin felt like it was being pierced with a thousand needles all at once, he threw up, maybe twice- or more. His vision went to black as he fell the to floor, knees knocking against the wood so hard it splintered, he felt like a disease, a sickening tumour or ulcer- he couldn’t even feel pain anymore, he was pain, every part of him. His harsh screams turned to weak howls, his mind became clouded and the colours in his vision shifted. Where his pale, scarred hands had been there were now claws, ripping up the floorboards- he needed to get out, all he could think was hunt hunt hunt.
***
Remus woke up in the hospital wing, unaware of how he got there, not too troubled by the thought either. He groaned as he opened his eyes and squinted as the bright light of the hospital wing made his eyeballs throb, pressing the heels of his hands over his eyes and realising. Black spots clouded his vision, like obtuse jellyfish or some alien substance, he shook his head and they disbursed allowing him to see the room. The hospital wing was clean and sparse, too white, too clinical, the first time he had woken up there he had panicked thinking that he had died and gone to heaven, it took Madame Pomfrey a good fifteen minutes to convince him he was in fact alive and well.
Once he had regained his senses he became acutely aware of the hushed murmur of whispering coming from beside him. He turned over, an agonising effort as he felt his fresh wounds rub against the bandages that must have been applied whilst he was asleep, and saw a dark figure leaning over the bed to the left of him. After a few moments he realised it was Regulus, he also realised he wasn’t happy. It only took Remus a quick glance at his friends tense shoulders, the clenching and un-clenching of his first, and the way his voice caught in the back of his throat to realise this. Whoever it was in the bed muttered something too quiet for Remus to hear, but Regulus’ reaction was very telling; he scoffed in that very Regulus Black was of his and pulled the curtain back around the bed in one smooth motion without a single word, then he turned to Remus and smiled, a small reserved smile.
“you’re awake” he said, matter-of-factly.
“that I am” Remus said, sitting up so he could talk properly, “10 points for observation.”
“are you alright?” Regulus asked, a twinge of concern lingering on his words, his eyes were bright and blue in the infirmary light. Remus thought he looked rather young.
“hm,” he shrugged, “been better.. who were you talking to?”
Regulus sighed, a deep tired sounding noise and rubbed at his eyes, “my brother.”
“Sirius?”
“yes. Stupid fool got himself hit by a bludger in the match, fell off his broom and all” he smiled a little, “Evan and Barty found it hilarious, which I suppose it was a little- after it was confirmed he was still alive that is.”
“did we win?” Remus asked, unsure of how to reply to the news that Sirius had fallen off his broom. He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be a little more sensitive, the brothers didn’t get along that was no news- but they were still brothers he supposed.
“no,” he replied shaking his head and examining his nails in a rather feminine manner that made Remus want to tease him for, “it was close but their seeker caught the snitch.”
“oh well, better luck next time.”
“oh shut up,” Regulus scoffed, lightly shoving Remus shoulder, “acting like you give a fuck- doubt you even know what a snitch is.”
“sure I do!” Remus responded in mock offense, “there’s the snitch and the bludger...”
“yeah okay, try naming one I haven’t mentioned in the past five minutes”
Remus paused for a moment, trying to recall the brief introduction to quidditch he had to listen to in his first year, “the um, the fucking…”
“give it up Lupin, not your area of expertise”
“whatever, I’m too tired to think,” he said closing his eyes briefly before turning to look at Regulus again and offering him a toothy smile.
“such a freak” he replied, shaking his head but there was no hiding the smile that was spreading across his lips. “I better be going but I’ll be back with dumb, dumber and dumbest later on.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“alright,” Regulus gently patted Remus’ shoulder before reaching in his pocket, “to keep you going” he said, taking out a chocolate frog and tossing it onto his lap.
Remus smiled and picked it up, “love you”.
“I know.” Regulus said, already walking away.
“say it back!”
“in your dreams Lupin!”, he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the door.
Remus smiled and settled back into his pillows, chocolate frog box in hand. He was examaning the card; a witch he had heard Lily talk about with admiration ‘Artemesia Lufkin’ was the name printed on it. The woman in the photograph had a stern face, her lips pursed as if she had taken a bite out of a particularly sour lemon. Remus thought she could give McGonagall a run for her money.
"never gives me chocolate." He heard a disgruntled voice mutter beside him. Turning his head he now saw that Sirius had removed the curtain that Regulus had previously closed around his bed and was looking directly at Remus, with a look of distaste on his elegant features.
“well I’m sure you don’t deserve it.” Remus replied, and bit the head off the squirming chocolate frog making it go limp in his hands.
Sirius scoffed, "oh and you do?"
Remus didn’t reply, instead he finished off the chocolate and sucked the excess off his thumb and forefinger in a smug manner.
"how'd you even get in here, and it that state?" the other boy asked once he realised Remus wasn’t going to continue the conversation, his eyes bore right into him- bandaged up arms and scratches on his face.
“could ask you the same thing.” Remus replied, swiftly dodging the question.
"quidditch, perks of being a beater." Sirius huffed, looking rather defeated.
“oh that’s right, you fell off your broom” he said, looking back over and raising his eyebrows, “rather embarrassing don’t you think?”
“piss off.” Sirius bit back, going a little red in the face, “doubt you can even fly a broom.”
“oh you wound me. What ever will I do? The great Sirius Black doubts my broom flying abilities.” He said in mock dismay, before letting his face fall back into a deadpan, “I’m going to sleep now, so if you will, keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut.”
“or what, you’ll do it for me?” Sirius quipped back cheekily, with a small mischievous smile.
Remus fixed him with a cold look and closed the curtains around his bed without another word, then he turned over so as to be as far away from the other boy as he possibly could be in his current situation.
A few hours must have gone by because when he awoke to the sound of laughter the light had changed, sweet streams of golden sunlight shone through the large windows of the hospital wing, Remus realised he had missed dinner at it was probably around six in the evening. A loud snort of laughter snapped him out of his trance and he rolled his eyes, what ever happened to hospital etiquette? Even from behind his curtain Remus knew that it was Sirius and his friends making the noise. The three of them were boisterous, arrogant people, their voices rang loud over the great hall at breakfast, lunch and dinner- and of course now, in the hospital wing; a place of rest.
It wasn’t long of course until Remus got his sweet justice, Madame Pomfrey’s curt voice called out and the laughter stopped; “Potter. Pettigrew. How many times must you be told to keep the noise down?” she chastised them, “there are people trying to sleep.”
"sorry." Remus head the distinct voice of James Potter reply, coated in that charming allure he used to get away with pretty much everything, “it won't happen again".
"you're right it won't", she huffed, "out you two, now. You can come back tomorrow.”
"aww Poppy-" Sirius began but was cut short by the authoritative voice of the medi-witch;
"it’s Madame Pomfrey, to you Mr Black, and no they cannot stay- chop, chop boys!" she said clapping her hands together.
Remus head the sounds of them exchanging goodbyes and then the sound of the door closing, he smiled to himself and opened the curtains. Madame Pomfrey rushed over at once and began to question him about how he was feeling and if he needed anything else, to which of course he told her he didn’t. Nevertheless, she pulled up a stool, her back to Sirius, and began redressing his wounds.
Now, Remus would be lying if he said he wasn’t the tiniest bit embarrassed, the curtains were left open and his neighbour was incredibly nosy leaving him feeling rather exposed. Sirius was not so subtlety craning his neck to get a better view of Remus’ wounds, no doubt trying to get the answer for his previously ignored question. And although unhappy about it, Remus couldn’t say he didn’t blame him, he too would probably be curious about what the boy with the scars did to get into the hospital in such a state. But alas, as his Grandmother used to always say ‘curiosity killed the cat’, so he wordlessly cast a temporary privacy spell over his bed so that all Sirius would be able to see was a fuzzy outline.
Once she was done and Remus had on fresh bandages (which he must admit felt a lot better) he thanked her and undid the charm- looking at Sirius to see despite his efforts to dissuade him, the other boy was already looking right back at him.
"what happened to you?” he asked without missing a beat, with more genuine curiosity than before. Remus could tell the question had been nagging at him for a while.
“none of your concern.” He replied brushing him off, Sirius Black was probably one of the last people he would ever tell his secret to, the whole school would know before he could even get up out of bed.
"why so secretive?"
"why so invasive?"
"just answer my question!" Sirius huffed, becoming increasingly more agitated.
"just piss off." Remus replied, he looked down at his bedside table to see a bar of chocolate and smiled inwardly, he could already tell from the brand that Dorcas had dropped it off.
Following his eyeline Sirius grinned like a cheshire cat, "give us a piece."
"give me peace." Remus groaned snapping a section off and popping it into his mouth.
"you're mean."
"you're a pain in the arse."
Before Sirius could reply with presumably another hilariously witty remark the doors burst open and Barty, Evan, Regulus and Dorcas came tumbling in, looking rather red eyed and frazzled.
“oh look, its Mary Jane and her lettuce heads” Remus called out in greeting as they approached him.
“hey lover.” Dorcas smiled dopily and planted a kiss on his forehead, “see you found my gift.”
“mmhm” Remus nodded chewing on another piece before holding it out, “ping.”
“pong!” Evan cried out a split second before Barty did, shoving the smaller boy out of the way and grabbing the chocolate from Remus’ hand.
“unfair.” Barty grumbled and sat down on the foot of the bed looking disgruntled.
“it’s the rules of the game” Evan said smugly biting off a row of four all at once, “be quiet and eat your beans”.
Barty scowled but opened up his box of Bertie Botts Every Flavoured Beans nonetheless, popping one in his mouth and grimacing at the obviously repulsive flavour.
“how are you doing?” Regulus asked, ignoring his friends childish antics.
“yeah much better, Poppy said I can probably sleep in the dorm tonight if I want.”
“and do you want?” Evan asked around a mouthful of chocolate.
Remus took a second to reply, he looked from Evan (who had chocolate smeared around his lips), to Barty (who had just spat out a green coloured jelly bean into his hand and was gagging), and then back at Regulus with a smile, “yeah I think I will. Not much to do here, but I get round the clock entertainment with those two.”
"grumpy Remus has left us then?" Barty said, putting the box to the side.
"yeah, had an exorcism before you guys got here."
"thank Merlin, that guy was such a buzzkill." Evan smiled and handed Barty the rest of the chocolate bar, seemingly out of pity due to his apparent stroke of bad luck with the sweets.
"well, he'll be back before you know it." Dorcas chimed in, motioning for Remus to move over so she could settle in comfortably beside him and rest her head on his shoulder. He nudged her in faux offence and she gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek in means of an apology.
They stayed for a while after that, talking quietly and filling in Remus with all that he had missed in the past 24 hours (which was surprisingly a lot, although nothing of much substance.) Barty was finishing recounting an elaborate story about how Evan had got his foot stuck in the toilet when Madame Pomfrey came over to tell them that visiting hours were over and to go back to the common room. They said their goodbyes and Remus promised to see them in a little while after having Madame Pomfrey confirm he was alright to go back to the dorm later once he was given another dose of pain draught and she performed one last check over him. Unfortunately, she had ran out of the potion and needed to brew some more, assuring him that it would only take a few minutes to make.
So Remus occupied himself by reading the book that Regulus had dropped off for him, it was one of his mothers, an old English classic that told tales of society, and love and drama. He was halfway through reading about some very shocking scandal that had sent a group of sisters into an uproar when Sirius cleared his throat, so obnoxiously loud that it was clearly done with the intent of gaining Remus’ intention
As per usual, Remus didn’t speak, he just wordlessly placed the book down on his lap and looked at Sirius with in such an unimpressed manner it was a marvel that Sirius didn’t squirm, but no of course Sirius Black didn’t squirm.
“is that a muggle book?” he asked, craning his neck to get a better look at the cover. Childishly, Remus covered up the book quickly with his blanket as if Sirius’ gaze alone would turn it to ash.
“yes.”
“where did you get it?” Sirius asked, seeming genuinely interested rather than mocking.
“why do you care?”
“I like reading.” Sirius replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “but wizard fiction isn’t great, and the only thing they seem to have in the muggle section of the library is old cook books or drab diatribes of muggle wars.”
Remus swallowed, unsure of how to process this information. It unsettled him, his image of Sirius has always been one of a rude, unruly boy, incompetent and arrogant, not a boy that liked to read, let alone one that liked to read muggle books.
“it was my mothers.” He replied coldly, he was unsure of how else to go about his answer. He could’ve ignored him yes, but if had learnt one thing over his short stay at the hospital wing it was that Sirius was persistent. He also could’ve lied, but what would be the point?
“I didn’t know your Mum was a muggle!” Sirius sat up, an excited glint in his eyes that unsettled Remus even more than his previous enquiry had, his hand gripped protectively around the spine of the book.
“well she’s also dead so there’s that.” Remus said hardly, not meeting the other boys gaze. He wasn’t quite sure why he had said that; it wasn’t a secret, but it also wasn’t something he went around broadcasting to people, especially ones he didn’t like.
“oh.. uh I’m.. sorry..?” Sirius mumbled out after a beat of silence, looking down at his delicate fingers that had been wrapped up in bandages.
“don’t.” Remus snapped harshly, raising his gaze to look at Sirius who looked back up from his hands, brows furrowed in confusion. “don’t do the whole ‘I’m sorry your Mum died’ sympathy thing, because you're not, you don’t even like me- in fact you hate me, you’re only saying it because you don’t know what else to say.”
Their eyes met in the stillness of the quiet hospital wing, the golden light bouncing off Sirius hair making him look like the epitome of sunlight. Sirius didn’t waver, not for a second, although the amusement had drained from his eyes, leaving them stark and cool starring into Remus’ which were ablaze with anger. The tantalising eye contact was broken by the quick sounding footsteps of Madame Pomfrey, who had apparently finished with the potion. Remus picked up his wand from his bedside table and drew the curtain around the side of the bed that was in Sirius’ eyeline, shutting him out without another word.