13 is old enough
December 24,1973
Malfoy Manor
It was Christmas Eve but for the Blacks it was the day Lucius Malfoy would marry Narcissa Black. Regulus and Sirius were dressed in new robes. This was not the first pureblood wedding they had attended, their other cousin Bellatrix,Narcissas sister, was married off to Rodolfus Lestrange a few years prior. Sirius had tried to sneak off into Narcissa’s room several times already to talk her out of it and he had already received a punishment for it, Regulus watched as their uncle spelled an open wound shut on Sirius’s arm while he wiped away the blood dripping onto the marble flooring of the Malfoy Manor drawing room. Regulus went to take his seat next to Bellatrix, leaving the seat next to him open for Sirius.
“Good morning Bellatrix”
“Regulus” A small acknowledgement was more than what he expected from her, she was never particularly close to the boys, she was close with her two younger sisters,Andromeda and Narcissa. Andromeda had been disowned when she married a muggle, Ted Tonks, it almost tore the family apart but the Blacks are quick, they disowned her and she ran away to live with him in Wales, Narcissa was depressed for months when Andromeda left, Bella barely batted an eye. He scanned the crowd and saw a man sitting by the front, he was wearing black robes and had clean styled brown hair, his eyes were green and his nose was sharp, he spoke to no one.
“Where’s the other one” she asked without looking towards him
The other? Shit
He had assumed Sirius would follow him; he now realized he did not, just as he was going to stand up Bellatrix placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Sit, whatever punishment he brought on himself, he must face it and finally learn to be a Black”
He sat down until he heard a blood curdling scream come from upstairs, he shot up and immediately ran up the stairs recognizing the scream.He ran into the room to see his mother pointing her wand at a seizing screaming Sirius who was thrown on the floor by Narcissa’s feet.
“Mother” he forced a noise to leave his mouth making his presence in the room known.
“He must learn Regulus, he’s a Black, it’s time he starts to behave like one”
“Mother please”
She lowered her wand and Sirius stopped seizing, she turned to Regulus and stomped her heel in the ground and Regulus immediately flinched she then whispered “Petrificus Totalus” Regulus froze in his place, eyes glued to Sirius.
“If you’re going to try and stop it you’ll sit and watch, learn from your brothers mistakes, now Sirius, tell Regulus what you’ve learned” her face remained still, showing not one ounce of emotion, not one ounce of remorse for her eldest son, who was shaking and crying on the floor. Sirius looked up at her and then turned back to look at Narcissa.
“Please Cissa, you’re better than this, you deserve more then him, please Cissa ple-“
“Crucio” his mother roared and Sirius' body began to shake again, Regulus watched tearing through the thoughts pounding at the forefront of his mind, knowing he can do nothing to help his brother but watch and wait for it to be over. Suddenly he regained control of his body and his brother stopped seizing, immediately he ran to Sirius and picked him up and he reluctantly held onto his shoulders shaking.
“Stop, no more speaking ok? Please Sirius just come with me.” Regulus begged Sirius and he finally gave in with a small nod.
They left the room and Regulus took Sirius to the one room in Malfoy mansion that was completely soundproof and would not be used on a day like today, the library. He closed the door and Sirius immediately collapsed to the floor leaning on a bookshelf, he was still shaking and all Regulus knew he could do in that moment was hold him and wait.
“I had to try Reg” he stuttered “I had to, for Cissa, for Andy, I had to” Andromeda and Sirius had been close, the night before she ran off with Ted she visited Sirius, she made him promise to try and get through to Narcissa, Sirius begged her to take Regulus and him with her but she couldn’t, she said he had to find his own way and right now she had to go but she would try to keep in touch with him, they hadn’t received anything from her since.
“Even after the first cruciatus, you had to keep going” muttered Regulus
“I had to Reg, Lucius, he’s, he’s bad”
“No! You have to stop, you know what she’ll do, what she can do, she’d kill you as a punishment and you, you can’t leave me here Sirius, you can’t!“ he sobbed, suddenly reaching a breaking point, all at once Sirius realized Regulus had witnessed it all, he was forced to, he watched him seize and cry and scream.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Reggie, I’m sorry” he held his sobbing brother and cried with him, “I’m sorry you saw that”
“Please Sirius, just act like a Black and you’ll be ok, please”
Sirius pressed his forehead against Regulus’s and stroked his hair back.
“This isn’t ok Reg, I have to fight, I’ll get us out, we can get out Reg”
“We can’t if you die Sirius, we can’t if you die” he whispered
“Ok i understand, I’m not going to leave you Reg, it’s you and i ok, I won’t leave you”
“Promise”
“I promise Reggie, i promise”
They sat and held each other until the crying stopped, they watched from the library window as the wedding took place, Sirius still cried when they made an unbreakable vow and Regulus could’ve sworn he saw Narcissa wipe a tear. Then something happened. The man Regulus noticed sitting in the front of the ceremony stood, he took Lucius arm and pulled up his sleeve, he pressed his wand onto his skin and the boys watched as Lucius winced while dark black ink spread across his skin into a dark mark. An unoriginal name for one of the most sought out marks in pureblood history.
December 24th,1973
Evans household
No one spoke anymore. Their parents were confused on why all three of their girls were now ignoring each other. Grace sat at her desk and began writing her letter to James.
James Potter
Potter Cottage
James, I’m so incredibly sorry for saying what I said, I’m sorry for fighting with Lily in front of you and using her as a way to make her feel bad, you’re an amazing friend and an amazing person. I’m sorry for using that in a negative sense, I miss you.
Grace Evans
The Evans household
At the same time Lily sat at her desk and began a letter for James, the first out of many she would write.
James Potter
Potter Cottage
Dear James,
Merry Christmas. I’m sorry for not apologizing sooner. We’re friends. I can say that confidently that we are friends, I know I defend Severus but he means more to me then you may ever understand, I appreciate you James, but I don’t see you that way, not when you bully my best friend and play horrid immature pranks, but I enjoy your company sometimes I really do.
Yours sincerely,
Lily Evans
Attached to the letter she sent a new quill with the initials J.P engraved in the ink bottle, the feather was a bright gryffindor red and she attached a small Lily to the ink bottle. At the same time that day Grace and Lily both received their letters from James.
Grace Evans
The Evans Household
I forgive you Grace, I like Lily, a lot, I think I always will, and I know she doesn’t feel that way about me, no matter what I’d bend over backwards for her, all you did was state the obvious, its ok, I miss you too. I'll see you on the train in a few days.
PS: Have you heard from Regulus, Sirius hasn’t written.
James Potter
Lily Evans
The Evans Household
Dear Lily,
I understand, it’s not my place to comment on your friendship with Severus. I do not like people who target my friends so I can see why you don’t like me. I’m still going to like you Lily, today, yesterday and probably for the rest of my life.
With all my love
James Potter
Thank you for the quill and ink, I will sleep with it every night, enjoy the gift I sent, also I wrote this with your gift, doesn’t it look great :)!
Attached to his letter was a small book press with the following written,
Property of Lily Evans
If lost return to Lily Evans, Gryffindor tower
She hated to admit she loved the gift, the letter, not so much. Grace still felt bad for what happened but knew the next thing she had to do was try and apologize to Lily, she’d worry about Regulus and Sirius as soon as she finished. The
“Lily” she poked her head into her sister's room.
“Yes” Lily sat up in her bed ans for the first time all week she didn’t kick her out.
“I’m sorry”
“Is that all?”
“Lily!”
“You humiliated me!” Lily yelled
“You were defending Snivellus after he tried to attack me!”
“Don’t call him that!”
“Lily, come on!“
“Whatever Grace, we’re fine, I forgive you” she muttered grabbing a book off her nightstand
“Do you really?”
“Yes now get out.”
Christmas Eve was okay, there was some interaction between the girls, some gifts were exchanged to Petuna simply as a formality. It was lonely and boring and Grace had written letter after letter to Regulus without a response.
“Lily, can I talk to you?” Grace stepped into Lily’s room at around 10 o’clock Christmas night.
“What?” She was still giving Grace an attitude but she knew she deserved it.
“What do you know about Remus?”
Immediately Lily’s eyes shot up. “Mind closing the door” she said allowing Grace full entry to her room, hesitantly Grace sat down on Lily’s bed.
“What do you know?” Lily asked defensively
“I think I know where the scars come from”
“How did you find out”
“I found him in the infirmary, he never said it, but I kind of pieced it together, how long have you known?”
“First year” she admitted, “I was the first person he told, I was relentless when he got sick, always bringing him notes from class and soup from the dining hall until one day he snapped at me for trying to take his temperature and he told me.”
“Why is it such a secret, Remus, he’s not dangerous”
“We know that, but others don’t, he’s not supposed to be at Hogwarts, Dumbledore pulled some strings to let him in, in order to stay it has to be kept a secret, parents would be afraid for their kids, some students would probably give him a worse time about the scars then they already do.”
“Remus thinks he’s a monster”
“I know, eventually he’ll see he’s not, but for now we have to keep quiet”
“When did the boys find out”
“2nd year, James figured it out, they’re really protective of each other that group, once I saw Pete hex a 6th year because he called Remus scar face”
“I like them” smiled Grace
“I like them sometimes” laughed Lily, “I like Peter and Remus a lot, they’re both brilliant, passing every class at the top, Peter's really good at DADA, he’d be a good auror.”
“I haven’t talked to Peter much.” She thought about Peter, how he was always there just never talking to her specifically, he was with Remus a lot, in the library studying, she made a mental note to start talking to him more.
“James and I haven’t heard from Regulus or Sirius” muttered Grace
“What’s up with you and Regulus?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, do you like him?” The question had caught Grace completely off guard, she hadn’t even thought of Regulus in any sense other than her best friend. That’s what they were best friends, that’s all it really felt like.
“Why would you think that?”
“You’re always together, he defends the hell out of you all the time, god he was so jealous when you and Remus were doing whatever it was you two were doing, sometimes it feels like he’s more obvious then James” she laughed
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah, you haven’t noticed it?”
“No!”
“Even Sirius thinks he has a thing for you.”
The rest of that break Grace spent her time revisiting every memory she had of Regulus searching for any sign he may have shown to her but she couldn’t find one, still without a letter from him she came to the conclusion that everyone else was making it up.
Hogwarts Express
January 3rd 1974
They all sat in the compartment in a fog of uneasy silence, Grace stared at Regulus who was awkwardly eyeing her confused. Lily and Sirius talked a little over the upcoming quiz in charms. Finally after what seemed like forever James and Peter wandered into the compartment bringing it to life again. James sat in between Lily and Grace swinging his arms around them both.
“Now ladies we aren’t still mad are we?” he smiled
“no we’re fine” muttered Lily, they were in fact fine she just didn’t want to give James that satisfaction.
“Oy where’s Moony?” said Sirius
“moony?” replied Grace, she had forgotten about the nickname.
“Well you know now so i don’t see why i wouldn’t use the nick name we’ve had for him”
“He wrote to me saying he’d be taking a late train, cuz of his furry little problem” said James
Lily let out a small snort that drew Sirius hand to smack against his mouth to stifle his own laugh.
“Sorry it’s just, that’s what you call his lycanthropy” she giggled
“it sounds cuter, it’s more remus, lycanthropy sounds scary, Remus isn’t scary” said Peter defiantly.
“Well yes i suppose you’re right” she smiled
Hogwarts
January 16th 1974
“Reggie?”
“yes grace?” Regulus has his whole head stuffed into a book on transfiguration. They had a quiz coming up that he was convinced he was going to fail. He was wearing his green quidditch jumper with a pair of black sweatpants, his wavy black hair was piling at his forehead, it had grown out quite a bit as he didn’t get it cut over the break. Grace stared at him again for a while before realizing he had responded until he looked up and raised a brow at her.
“Oh um, well do you like anyone?” she tried to seem as nonchalant about the question as possible but she could feel the blush in her cheeks forming.
“Like? I like plenty of people” he replied without a second thought.
“No i mean like a crush”
“a crush, i hadn’t really thought of that yet”
“Oh”
He looked up at her reply, she had made it sound more disappointing than she intended and quickly regretted even bringing up the subject.
“Why? Do you like anyone?” he asked, closing the book.
“No, I was just wondering if you don’t really talk about any girls.”
“Haven't really looked at them”
“Guys then” she smiled as she watched the look of shock sweep his face.
“What!? No boys, not that it’s bad or anything, i’m just not gay” he laughed
“Well,how would you know if you haven’t been interested in anyone” she smiled
“Are you gay?” he asked jokingly
“Maybe” she said
“What?“ he said dropping his jaw
“Well i've kissed a girl before” she smiled
“You’ve kissed someone?” He didn’t even care if it was a girl, just the fact that she had kissed someone, back at home he wasn’t even allowed to have friends, even less girl friends, he had Sirius and that was it.
“I was like 8 i think, it was dumb, under the slide at the playground we were like, hmm what if we kissed right now to see what the hypes about in all those movies,and then we kissed and that was that” she giggled
“What the hells a playground” he asked
“Oh it’s like uh a place where kids play outside” she laughed at the fact he didn’t know what a playground was, we’re all wizard kids that clueless?
“Hm, I don't think we have those, or movies.”
“You don’t have movies?”
“No?”
“oh my god, movies are great they’re like well it’s like all the stories you read but on a screen and acted out by people and you watch them in these places with giant screens and u get popcorn and it’s great”
“So it’s like the way our photographs move” he nodded
“yeah i guess” she said
“Well was it?”
“was what?”
“Was it worth all the hype?” he asked “The kiss?”
If Regulus was being honest he had never seen true affection really shown, at weddings the kiss was always so sad and business-like, almost like they were just shaking hands but with their lips, he didn’t really think they were anything great.
“I could show you if you’d like.” she smirked, the confidence swelled through her veins, she watched as his eyes grew and watched her.
“i mean ok” he stumbled out, she got up and sat down next to him, “Ok now look at me” she said
“ok” he turned to look at her, her auburn hair laying on her shoulders and her freckles dancing across her cheeks and he let out an awkward sort of smile which made her laugh.
“Don’t worry it’s no big deal, we kind of just press our lips against each other and then boom it’s done”
“I’m not worried”
“Ok if you say so '' she smiled leaning in, he shut his eyes and let her put a hand on his cheek when suddenly the common room door began to open, they quickly separated and Regulus dove into his book again.
“Oye what you two uo too” Ari walked in holding yet another bouquet of flowers her boyfriend had given her,
“Nothing”shrugged Grace standing up from her spot next to Regulus, “Wanna tell me about your date?”
“Always” she smiled heading to their room.
“See you tomorrowReggie” she smiled
“See you” he said still still glued to the book.
She left with Ari and he sighed laying his head onto the book.
“You fancy her.” Tiberius’s voice echoed from the boys corridor sparking a jump from Regulus.
“How long have you been sitting there”he asked, whipping his head around.
“Long enough to watch you pretend you didn’t know what a movie was.”
“Shut up” he groaned
“So you fancy her?”
“I do not.”
“Then what was that?”
“I don’t know Ty, she’s, we’re friends”
“It’s because she’s a mudblood isn’t it, mummy Black wouldn’t like that would she”
Regulus kept quiet. He replayed the memory again and again, all the time, it haunted his mind, Sirius on the floor, shaking,crying,screaming,and his eyes glued there, helpless and useless watching it all play out.He blinked away the tear circling his eye.
“We’re friends.”
“Tell me Black, how much does mummy know of the Black brothers here at Hogwarts, their friends, their crushes.” Tiberius leaned against the wall.
“What do you want, Tiberius?”
“I want to know if your mum knows you and your brother have been running around with blood traitors and mudbloods.”
“What do you care?”
“I’m sure you’ve heard of the dark lord” he smiled, Regulus remembered the man at the wedding, the ritual,the mark.
“Yes”
“Well do you know what he wants Regulus”
“No”
“He wants to get rid of all mudbloods and halfbloods, he wants blood purity, as it should be you know”
“What does this have to do with me?”
“Oh Regulus, the blacks are the center of this,his number one fans if you will, if it were to get out to the other pureblood families trying to get into his graces, that the Black brothers were blood traitors, well how do you think that would go down back home with mummy.” He grinned, a sly smirk.
Sirius on the floor. Crying. Shaking. Screaming. Helpless.
“What do you want Knott?” said Regulus
“I want you, when the time comes, to get me into his group, when you inevitably join, mention me.”
“Why.” Regulus hadn’t thought of that aspect, that he’d have to be one of them, believe in all of that, fight for that, fight to kill Grace.
“When all of this goes to shit, I want to be on the winning side of history”
“Ok”
“Very well Black, I’ll hold you to this, know that”
He left. And Regulus stood there. Thinking about Grace, about Sirius, about the dark lord, about his mother, about the choice he didn’t have. He would turn 13 tomorrow.
January 17th 1974
Hogwarts field
“Anything from mum?” Sirius and Regulus lay under the same tree they were always under, everyone else had been busy, but they enjoyed the moments it was just them.
“Yea, haven’t opened it though”
“How come?”asked Sirius
“I don’t know.”
“Oh”
“Sirius?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you love her?” He turned to his brother and there was no look of shock, there was no confusion, just a pair of silver blue eyes staring at him.
“I do” he admitted
“How?” Sirius watched his brother toy with the black envelope
“She’s our mother, she has our best interest at heart in some weird twisted way, she’s married to her cousin, she was raised with these blood purist mannerisms, she was raised the way we’re being raised, she doesn’t see anything wrong with it.”
“Every pureblood family does that right?”
“Yeah Reg, that’s just how it is.”
“Ok” he unwrapped his envelope and scanned the letter;
Regulus Black
In three years you will be of the appropriate age to learn everything I have planned for you, you must continue to be the perfect picture of the noble and most ancient house of Black until your brother comes to his senses. Do not befriend mudbloods. Do not coerce with the Potters and the Pettigrews; they are blood traitors and soon enough Sirius will come to see the truth. Find companionship in those in slytherin, pureblood slytherins.
- Walburga Black
“Sweet isn’t she” laughed Sirius
“Oye, you ever kissed someone?” Asked Reg shoving the letter in his pocket,trying not to dwell on whatever his mother meant by “learning everything she has planned”
“Maybe”
“Who?”
“Um Mary”
“Mary? As in Lily’s friend Mary?”
“Mhm, this year actually, um after the game where the bludger was hexed”
“Woah, do you fancy her?”
“I guess so, I mean why not.”
“Why not? Do you fancy her or not mate, what was she bad at snogging?”
“No no she wasn’t bad at snogging,it was quite nice actually, she’s very good at it to be honest i just haven’t really thought about feelings and all that bloody shit, wait why are you asking have you kissed someone?”
“No” he sighed
“Oh but you want to”
“I don’t think I can.” He shrugged
“What do you mean, are your lips busted?” He asked poking at his lips ans pressing them against his own palm, “they seem fine to me.”
“No it’s just, well”
“It’s Grace isn’t it.” He said
“Why does everyone keep saying that!” He sighed, relaxing his head on the back of the tree.
“Look mate, I’ve never seen a pair of people more alike than the two of you, hell you’d do anything for that girl, you’re almost as obvious as James.” He laughed
“She liked Remus.”
“Yeah and?”
“I’m nothing like Remus, she’s obsessed with him”
“Still?” Sirius leaned against the tree as well
“Yeah, always following him when he’s sick, always making sure he feels alright she’s all over him” he sneered
“Why did you say you couldn’t kiss her.” Asked Sirius
“ She's a muggle born.” He quickly replied
“Reg!” Sirius darted up and looked down at his brother
“What”
“You’re bloody joking right?”
“Well, it’s just what would mother do if she found out?”
“No because you're joking”
“Sirius come on, i’m not like you i can’t just do whatever i want you know there’s consequences”
“What you think the cruciatus curse isn’t a consequence”
“Sirius”
“Don’t let them control your life like that Reg, they don’t know any better, we can do better, we can be better Reg”
“No Sirius you can, i’m still in slytherin i'm still in their good graces, i can’t, i don't know what they’d do to me.” he said and the steady realization that his mother was counting on him, she didn’t care about what Sirius did, she would try and force him to behave as a Black should, but he was the priority now, and if he messed up,he’d be eaten alive for it.
“Kiss her Reg, no one’s gonna know” he scoffed and walked away.
He sat there and re-read the letter until he couldn’t process the words any longer.Just because Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor didn’t give him the right to forget about their family, to leave everything up to him.