Dark Origins
Dark Origins
I awoke the next morning feeling first the same soreness that I'd felt after our first time. Not because I hadn't been ready for him, but because it had been the first time he hadn't held back with me. Our first time in the Room of Requirement and our second time at the Leaky Cauldron, Barnaby had been so gentle with me, taking every step with deliberately delicious slowness. But last night he'd finally shown me just how strong and powerful his body was and I'd never be able to go back to slow and gentle after experiencing him that way.
I revelled in the sensation that reminded me of how he'd felt inside me, and let my mind take me back through the night, replaying all the best parts over and over. But I had always been an early riser so as much as I wanted to stay in our bed with these thoughts swirling in my head and his arms clasped lovingly around me, I had to get up and start moving around.
I quietly got out of bed and went to collect my small purse from where I'd thrown it on the bathroom floor in our haste the night before.
I dressed quickly in the first items my hand touched, jeans and a t-shirt.
Unpacking the rest of our belongings from our school trunks took no time at all. It was a relief for me to finally be home and able to empty out my purse. I'd been constantly worried I'd leave it behind someplace and lose all of our worldly possessions in one go.
Our house was more or less already furnished, there would be some things we'd need to add eventually but nothing critical that couldn't wait.
Food was the only thing that we didn't have and definitely needed. Barnaby was always ready to eat and food was for sure his love language.
I remembered fondly our picnic dates in the courtyard at Hogwarts and how he'd been so touched when I'd prepared all his favourite things for him. (On the sly while doing my many kitchen duty detentions). If I was going to be a good wife to him I knew I'd need to start taking care of his needs instead of letting him always take care of both of ours.
I started making a small list of what we'd need for a few days. When I was sure I hadn't forgotten anything I stepped outside and Apparated to the only market I could think of, the one in the town I'd grown up in. I still wasn't exactly sure of the actual distance between there and my new home on Amethyst Avenue, but Apparating between the two was easy enough. I checked that I still had enough Muggle money on me and then went about doing my shopping.
Arriving back home with my clever little purse full of supplies, I suddenly remembered I'd left no note and no indication of where I'd gone. Hoping Barnaby had stayed asleep while I was out, I pulled my key from the front pocket of my jeans and hurried inside.
No such luck. He was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. "Samhain! Where did you go? I thought.. I thought you'd left me" he wailed, absolutely panicked. "No, no Barnaby of course not. Never." I rushed over to comfort him. "I only went shopping, so I could make you breakfast. I'm sorry I didn't leave a note, I just didn't think about it. I'm really sorry I worried you." I finished lamely, wrapping my arms around him.
He hugged me back, but he was still upset. "I thought, maybe because of last night, that you'd changed your mind about us. I thought maybe I'd hurt you and you just didn't want to tell me, or that I'd scared you off after meeting with Grandmother yesterday" he confessed.
I frowned and starting shaking my head. Why in the world would he think that? "Barnaby, no. You didn't hurt me. And you didn't scare me off. Last night was different, but spectacular. I loved every minute of it. And I love you. I'm with you for the long haul, crazy families included. I was just excited I guess, to start acting like your wife. It didn't even occur to me what you'd think if you woke up to find me gone. I won't do that again" I promised him.
It took a little while of sitting with him and letting my words sink in before he seemed to really believe what I'd said was true. Eventually he turned to face me, "I don't really know much about being a husband" he confided. "My own parents marriage, well they were completely dysfunctional and prioritised the dark arts over everything, each other, and even me, and I only had a few years with them before they were arrested so I never got to see a proper example of how a marriage is supposed to look. I don't want you to think I'm controlling or that you'd need my permission to do anything you want to do. I'm just so used to always knowing where you are, I got so scared when I didn't" he explained.
I finally understood exactly how he'd felt, and assured him that I didn't think he was controlling. I also admitted that I didn't know much about being a wife either, or being out on our own after the strict curfews and constant monitoring by Professor Snape at Hogwarts. I told him it would take some time to figure all that out but that we could learn and adjust to everything together. Starting with breakfast.
Now that I knew Barnaby could cook, at least by following directions, I set him to work in the kitchen with me. I was delighted to find that it hadn't been all my mum's supervision the previous day, Barnaby actually had his own domestic skill set and I ended up following his lead as we spent a cozy morning fixing ourselves a proper English fryup. As we sat down to eat what we'd made I asked him when he'd learned to cook.
"I guess that's a good place to start explaining about my family" he replied. "Grandmother was very busy when I was little. I mostly ate meals alone in my room or with the hired help in the kitchen whenever I could. I was closest to our first cook, Dom. He was always kind to me and started letting me help him out and teaching me how to make things when Grandmother was out of the house. But one day when I was about ten, she came home and found me cooking with him, and she fired him on the spot. She's very prideful and was horrified that I'd been doing 'servant work', so after that I didn't have many opportunities to get better at it, but I've always loved cooking, and eating" he finished with a sad smile.
Hearing that made me so angry, and my dislike for Madam Lee grew. I'd always known that Barnaby had been treated badly by his grandmother, but removing his one friend from the house and banning him from something so innocent that he enjoyed so much was indeed as cruel as I'd been afraid she was.
I reached across the table for his hand and told him I was sorry he'd had to lose his friend over his grandmothers pride and that he'd deserved so much better. I worried though, if that was the first bit he was willing to share about his childhood, I was sure what he'd tell me next could only be worse. And I wasn't wrong.
We cleared up the table, got the dishes washing themselves, then moved into front sitting room.
Barnaby was looking quite glum but I could see he was finally ready to talk to me about this. I sat with him on the comfortable sofa, holding his hand in my lap and waited for him to continue.
"Samhain my home life, it's just the beginning of what you need to know about. I don't want to keep going over stories of my depressing childhood. Suffice it to say, Grandmother wasn't a loving or involved guardian. The majority of the time she did spend with me, which really wasn't much, she mostly just told me how disappointing I was to her and the Lee family name. All because I didn't delight in the dark arts or enjoy hearing about her stupid pure blood mania. There were very few times she was ever happy with anything I did. And I remember each one because of these" he finished, holding up his hand and showing me his three silver rings.
He'd worn those rings from the first time I met him and I very rarely saw him take them off.
"The first one she gave me was the day my parents were arrested, it was my dad's." He pointed to the ring on his middle finger, the one shaped like a human skull.
"The next two I got when I was eleven, one when I received my Hogwarts acceptance letter, and the other when I was sorted into Slytherin" he continued to explain. "She sent me a fourth one on the day we graduated from Hogwarts, but I haven't put it on. I've suspected for a while now that there might be a dark significance behind these rings, ever since I noticed how obsessed she was with family heirlooms. That's also why I haven't given you your engagement ring yet." he pulled the purple velvet box from his pocket and turned it over slowly in his hand.
"I think it might be cursed. Knowing how obsessed Grandmother is with bloodlines, I'm afraid it might do something to anyone of mixed heritage who puts it on. I haven't even wanted to open it yet, not until I can get it checked over and make sure it's safe. The Lee family traditions are basically a binding magical contract Samhain. I'm required to give you this ring and no other in order to marry you, and bring you into the family. But I refuse to do anything that could put you in danger. I don't know if the rings I already wear are cursed or not, and it might be too late to do anything about it if they are. But I'm not putting on another one and I'm not giving you this one until I know for sure" he concluded.
If there was ever a time for having second thoughts, it would have been then. I had known before Barnaby and I ever started dating that he came from a very old family of mostly dark witches and wizards. But he wasn't like them, and from meeting his uncle Cecil I knew they weren't all the same as Madam Lee and Barnaby's parents. That was enough for me to be sure I could handle marrying into their family. And it wasn't the family that I cared about anyway, it was Barnaby. I knew that I'd do whatever it took to make sure we stayed together.
"Okay" I said. "I mean, I hear what you're saying Barnaby, and I think you're right. We should get an expert to have a look at all the Lee rings before we do anything else. But rings and potential curses aside, I am going to marry you. And your grandmother and her dodgy traditions don't scare me." I fibbed a little on the last part.
That got me a smile, but it was only temporary and quickly faded into a concerned frown, even his broad shoulders seemed to slump. "There's more?" I guessed. "There's more" he confirmed sadly. I squeezed his hand, "Tell me, whatever it is, it'll be okay."
He sighed, glancing around the room before continuing. "I'm the first born grandson, the oldest in my generation. I wasn't born yet when my uncle got married and my cousins are younger than me, so I'll be, we'll be, the first in my generation of Lee's to be married, and ours will be the first Lee wedding I've ever attended. Uncle Cecil let slip a few years ago that some of the traditions our family have are, I don't even know, extreme?" he faltered there.
I got the feeling Barnaby knew more than he was saying, but was holding back so as not to frighten me too much all at once. I did my best to prepare myself for whatever he'd say next. Wondering just how bad it could be. But he didn't continue.
I looked up into his face and was shocked to see that he was genuinely very scared to tell me something.
"How extreme?" I prompted him. He didn't answer. "Barnaby" I said gently. "I have to know. It's not like you can get married without me. We're partners, whatever it is, we'll face it together, just like we have with everything else. Okay?"
"I love you" was his reply. I pulled him to me, "I love you too Barnaby. More than anything. And I always will" I told him.We sat in silence for a few minutes, holding each other and both lost in our own thoughts.
Finally Barnaby sat up and capturing my gaze with his intensely beautiful jade green eyes he blurted it out. "There's a blood ceremony. I don't know the details but I know it's ancient magic. Uncle Cecil said it's not inherently dark magic, but that it's old and very powerful. And a Lee marriage is only deemed legitimate after its been done. If we were to try and skip it, you'd never legally be considered my spouse, and any children we had, if we even had any, wouldn't be considered Lee's. Opting out of the family traditions basically cuts me out of the family as well, I'd be a dead end on the family tree if I entered into what they would see as an illegitimate marriage, and dead to everyone in my family" he said dejectedly.
"And it's important to you, that you stay in the family, and that I join it as well?" I asked him, trying to wrap my head around the situation.
"Not as important to me as you are Samhain. If you don't want to do it I would never try to force you. It would just mean we'd have to work hard for everything we have. We'd lose this house, my vault at Gringots, and any connection to my family, even my uncle and cousins. But I'd lose all of that before I lost you" he declared.
That weighed heavily on me. The gold, the house, we could work hard and make our own way. But his family? I considered everything Barnaby had already had to give up. His parents, his dream job of going to Brazil to be a Mazoologist, even his only childhood friend, the Lee's cook. It was unbearable to think of taking anything else away from him. I already felt hideously guilty for being the reason he wasn't chasing his dream. My mind was made up.
"I'll do whatever they ask of me" I vowed to him.
"Are you sure Samhain? You don't have to. If it's dangerous or painful, I'd do it in your place, if I could, whatever it is" he said. "I'm sure Barnaby. Generations of people have married Lee's and been perfectly fine after the wedding, haven't they? And your uncle said it's not dark magic, just old. Blood doesn't bother me and I've handled plenty of pain in my life. I can do this" I resolved.
He hugged me tight, "I'll get in touch with Uncle Cecil and see if he'd be willing to meet us and explain the ceremony, so we know what we're getting into. I was supposed to see him soon anyway, he's the one who got us jobs. If we still want them" he told me.
It occurred to me then that I'd never even asked Barnaby what the jobs were. I figured my head had been such a busy place lately that some things just slid right out. But now I was dying to know. "Jobs doing what?" I asked. Barnaby laughed. "I thought you were never going to ask me. Jobs with the Werewolf Capture Unit of course!"
I thought about that for a long minute. When I'd left Hogwarts I'd been determined to be done with my life of curse breaking and dangerous adventures. That was why I hadn't even replied to turn down my job offers with Gringots and the Ministry of Magic's Auror training program.
But it seemed now that my previous experiences at Hogwarts couldn't be escaped so easily, even after graduating. I'd already signed up for a possibly cursed engagement ring and a sinister sounding blood ceremony on my wedding day. Why not Werewolves too? I'd already had some practice with the WCU and happened to have a very good friend who was a Werewolf. I gave myself a little more time to ponder the change in my attitude.
Life seemed to have a funny way of giving you not what you thought you wanted, but what you didn't know you needed. Had it been getting closure at the Khanna's tree farm that got me feeling like my old self again, or was it simply my fate to face dangerous yet exciting challenges one after another in my life? I didn't know the answer to those questions, but I had an answer for Barnaby.
I smiled up at him, "Well I guess we're going to be heading back to London then." That gave me an idea, I whistled quickly, twice in succession. To my small surprise, my owl Nightspur swooped right in through the open kitchen window and landed heavily on my shoulder. "I don't know how she always knows where to find me" I laughed.
"That is one impeccably smart bird you've got" Barnaby hooted, reaching out to stroke her. I had Barnaby draft a letter to his uncle, officially accepting our jobs and asking him to meet us in London as soon as possible, while I scrawled a hasty note to Chiara telling her we'd be in the area soon and that I needed to talk to her about 'some moon stuff' just in case anyone should see what I'd written.
We sent Nightspur off to deliver our messages and started brainstorming who we could go to for advice about our possibly cursed rings. The rest of the night flew by in a blur of excited planning.