Prologue
Date: June of 1991
My first thought upon waking that morning was simply, It's really over.
The hardest and also the most rewarding time of my life. After seven long and incredible years of challenges, adventures, forging friendships and the heartbreaking loss of last year, we were all finally, officially graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The mood was tangible in the air that morning, such a mix of emotions. Slightly somber, yet excited, apprehensive and unsure, a little boisterous even, but mostly bittersweet.
With yesterday's short graduation speech from Dumbledore and the leaving feast behind us, things were still and quiet as we prepared to depart. Sadly time seemed to be speeding up, ticking away every last precious second that I could still call that magnificently enchanted castle my home.
I knew that soon we would be floating across the Black lake again, for the first time since our arrival as first years. We would be sailing away from our years of study and onward towards our futures, and to the last train home from Hogwarts forever.
As I glanced around my dorm room and began to throw things haphazardly into my school trunk for the last time, the memories start flooding through me, gushing like a stream. I saw the sorting ceremony, classes, quidditch cups, my best friends, Rowan, Barnaby, the cursed vaults, the forest, my brother, the magical creatures. It became a blur and I had to shake my head to make it all stop. Trying to swallow my panic I shoved those thoughts to the side and tried to focus instead on the calming beauty surrounding me.
The weather really couldn't have been better, the late June sunlight was strong enough to penetrate through the water of the lake and illuminate our dormitory's submerged windows. It cast a mystical glow upon our view of an underwater world we had only ever glimpsed from in there.
With so much to look forward to now, the brightness should have been welcome and uplifting, but leaving our beloved school and houses behind still felt.. wrong. Worse than wrong, I was completely devastated.
I was leaving something else behind, something I couldn't take with me because it no longer existed outside of Hogwarts. This wasn't what was supposed to happen, not how things were supposed to end.
So many of our seventh year class knew exactly where they were headed next, striding purposely forward along a lit path. But not me, I was still wondering, how will I know where I belong out in the wizarding world? What's my path, my purpose? And who will my people be now?
Here it was easy, I had my green and silver clad housemates who were like family and surrounded me day and night. And my closest friends from all our years and adventures together. Although we mostly slept in separate houses our bond was more unbreakable than, well, the unbreakable vow itself. Even those who started out as enemies, and rivals. For better or worse we had all ended up on the same side and were much closer for it.
I took a step back towards the wall to take one long, last look at everything. Our luxurious, medieval style four-poster beds with the thick, velvety emerald hangings and quilts. Beds that we'd never sleep in again. My bed, Merula's bed, Ismelda's bed, Liz's bed. And the empty bed. The empty bed that my best friend Rowan slept in for six of our seven years at Hogwarts.
Wiping away the remnants of my tears I closed my trunk. I was the last one there, having waited until the last minute in the morning to finish packing, skipping my last breakfast in the Great Hall so that I could say a private goodbye to the place where no one has slept in over a year.
Rowan should have been leaving with us today. Rowan who had wanted to be Head Girl and the youngest professor to ever be hired at Hogwarts, and undoubtedly would have been both. Rowan had a plan, a clear path and a bright future. But because of me and my selfish obsession with the cursed vaults, that had all been mercilessly stripped away from her, and she was gone.
I carefully unpinned my Head Girl badge from my robes. The badge I never wanted or deserved, and placed it gently on the empty bed. Knowing that nothing I'd do in my life would ever make it right or come close to making up for what happened to Rowan, I turned towards the door.
The only thing that I could hope for was that somewhere, some version of Rowan still existed, and I just needed her to know that I was sorry. "So so sorry, Rowan." I whispered. I'd have given anything to be able to trade places with her. It should have been me. Dying would have been the right thing for me. I never had a plan, truthfully, I don't think I was meant to make it to graduation. It was a cruel thing to have what she deserved and worked so hard for, when I knew I'd just blunder forward and make a mess of it all. But the boats were waiting. And so was the train. I knew I wasn't ready, but it was time to go.