‘Potter. You need to leave.’ James huffed and hid under the covers further and moved closer to Regulus as he heard the one voice he really didn’t want to wake up to on a Monday.
‘Piss off Crouch.’ He thought Regulus’ roommates had warmed up to him over the past few months but apparently not.
‘No, really. You do want to be leaving now.’
This time it was Regulus who sighed. ‘Barty, at least let him stay for a few more minutes, he didn’t get here until ridiculously late last night and we were talking until at least half four. Don’t you think he deserves a bit of a lie-in? Stop being nasty, I thought you agreed to be nice to him? Look, just because you hate Gryffindors-’
‘No, really, he isn’t being rude, I bet his little group are really worried. Probably think he’s been ambushed and kidnapped by Snape or something. Don’t blame them to be fair, it is eight in the morning.’ Evan muttered, eyes still closed as he lay against the headboard.
At Evan’s interruption, James shot upright, immediately regretting it as he felt his head spin and his eyes went cloudy due to the sudden movement. ‘WHAT?’
‘I mean I did try to tell you. I guess it isn’t your fault the alarm didn’t go off.’ Barty shrugged and pulled his tie over his head, not bothering to tie it properly and slumping down next to Evan, putting an arm around his shoulders, both of them clearly trying not to laugh.
After casting a tempus to check that it really was eight o’clock in the morning, James got up as quickly as he could and grabbed the rest of his uniform, putting it on faster than he had previously thought possible. Regulus stretched and paused, staring at his two friends like he was trying to figure something out.
‘You little bitches.’ Evan snickered and Barty pretended to be entirely innocent.
‘What? What could we, two perfectly kind and compassionate young boys, have ever done to hurt you and your poor boyfriend? Honestly Reg, I didn’t know you thought so badly of us! Can you believe it, Ev?’ He smirked as Evan continued to laugh, burying his face in Barty’s neck in an attempt to muffle it.
Regulus picked up a pillow and threw it at them both as hard as he possibly could. ‘I hate the both of you so fucking much!’
‘Language Reggie!’ Barty teased, still snorting at whatever he had supposedly done.
‘What?’ James paused and looked between the three of them. ‘What did they do?’
‘These two comedy geniuses apparently decided at some point yesterday that the pinnacle of humour is CANCELLING THE FUCKING ALARM!’
‘What? Hey- Fucking Merlin, I hate Slytherins.’ Grabbing the invisibility cloak, James quickly kissed Regulus, ignoring the gagging noise Barty made and running from the dorms as quickly as he could.
-
Bloody Crouch and Rosier.
Fucking arseholes the both of them.
For the past three hours, James had been subjected to vigorous questioning from none other than Sirius Black, the one person he definitely did not want to be vigorously questioned by. Sirius knew him better than anyone else (possibly apart from his own parents and Regulus of course) so they would definitely notice if he said something too out of character, especially if he said something that could be tied back to their little brother.
‘So, where were you this morning? Who were you with? Were you with anyone? Did you go to the kitchens? Did you go through the Honeydukes passage? Did you hide the map because we tried to find it to see if you had been abducted by Slytherins but it was nowhere? Why are you laughing?’
James immediately tried to cover up his chuckle with a fake cough, shuffling in his seat and trying to look busy putting things on his lunch plate. He did have to admit though that it was quite funny that Evan had been able to predict Sirius’ exact assumption despite not ever getting to know them personally. ‘Erm, nothing. Sorry, just uh….remembered something funny, that’s all. Sorry, what were you saying?’
Sirius immediately launched back into their interrogation and James zoned out entirely, spotting three familiar faces at the Slytherin table. Barty was already looking at him, that excruciatingly infuriating smirk on his face as he looked from James to Sirius and then back to James again and raised his eyebrows jokingly. James shook his head and glared at him, causing him to grin and whisper something into Evan’s ear, the both of them then bursting into fits of laughter and earning themselves a smack to the shoulder each from Regulus, who looked almost as exasperated as James felt. He looked back to Sirius when he heard his voice, realising it was probably not the first time they had called him.
‘Prongs? Prongsie? James?’
‘Hm? What? Um. sorry, zoned out there.’
‘Nah, don’t worry, I noticed. I’m guessing you noticed Rosier and Crouch sniggering away at you then? It looks like even my brother is sick of their disgusting faces.’
‘Oh- um yeah, yeah I did.’
‘Yeah, well, don’t worry about them, they’re just gits. We can sort them out after if you like? Merlin, I want to see Crouch without that fucking grin on his face.’
‘Oh no, no it’s fine, you don’t need to. It’s a waste of time. They’re trying to provoke us, don’t give them what they want. It isn’t worth it.’
‘Ah, Jamie, looks like you’re finally seeing some sense, thank Merlin for that, right Pete?’
Peter laughed at Remus’ comment and took a drink from his mug. ‘Definitely, for once Sirius is outnumbered! Maybe this time we will go a week without landing ourselves in detention for their antics!’
‘Ah, I doubt that.’ Remus looked back to his book and Peter continued talking to Marlene.
‘Since when did you get so boring, Prongs?’
Since I started dating your brother and decided his friends were actually decent people…well…until this morning it appears.
‘Since I decided I want to be head boy next year. And I’m not boring, I just don’t see the point in hexing random Slytherins when they don’t even deserve our energy…apart from Snivellus of course.’
‘And Mulciber.’
‘And Mulciber.’
‘And Avery.’
‘Yeah okay, maybe a few of them are worth hexing.’
‘But not Crouch?’
‘Nah, he’s just boring.’
They eventually fell back into a normal conversation, which James was extremely grateful for.
-
‘Hey, Potter, you're looking rather well-rested today.’ Brilliant, James turned around almost in sync with the other three, coming face to face with Barty Crouch Jr, an arm rested around Evan Rosier’s shoulder and Regulus Black lurking apprehensively behind them, his expression clearly saying ‘Oh Morgana help me.’ Of course, they couldn’t even get out of the Great Hall without Bart starting something.
Sirius was quick to step forward and laugh in his face, causing Remus to curse under his breath and Peter to groan. ‘What kind of insult is that? Come on Crouch, you’re getting fucking lazy now.’
James stepped to Sirius’ side, nudging them slightly to remind them of the conversation they had just had.
‘Well, yes Crouch, I did have a bit of a lie in this morning.’ James tried to get as much passive-aggressiveness in his voice as possible and Evan breathed a small laugh.
Before Sirius started to piece things together and came to any shocking, and possibly correct, conclusions, Regulus stepped forward, putting his book in his bag and refusing to look at any of the Gryffindors.
‘Guys, come on, they’re not worth it. You clearly don’t have anything worthwhile to say to them, let’s get to transfig-’
‘Oh Reg, come on, it’s just a bit of fun.’
‘Exactly, don’t be boring Reggie.’ Sirius chimes in, grinning as their friends sigh behind them.
‘Don’t fucking speak to me.’ He kept his back to Sirius as he stepped in front of Barty, trying to block him off from Sirius. ‘Barty, seriously, stop.’
Barty paused for a moment, then looked to Evan, who smiled encouragingly and nodded. ‘Fine.’
The three of them stepped back and Regulus tried not to make his relief too obvious.
Of course, however, Barty had to ruin it all again almost immediately. ‘Whatever, hey, don’t look too shocked, especially you Potter, you look like someone just outraged you by cancelling your alarm or something.’
It wasn’t funny, in fact, it was incredibly unfunny, but of course, Evan laughed. Not too much, it wasn’t a massive cackle or howl, just a little chuckle at the reference. Sirius, it appeared, still did not approve.
‘Oh yeah, how bloody hilarious. Come on Rosier, you’re better than that, aren’t you? That wasn’t even mediocre! Merlin, you’re like a snivelling little servant, you are.’
Evan scoffed at them and stepped a little closer. ‘Was that supposed to hurt? Are you policing my sense of humour?’
Sirius, naturally, couldn’t let anybody else have the last words. ‘Ugh, come on Crouch, keep a lead on your little rat.’
Peter muttered something under his breath but it was ignored as they all saw the way Barty’s face changed.
Sirius’ smile clearly meant bingo and Regulus and James look at each other as if to say oh shit.
‘How dare you speak about him like that you disgusting little-’
Before Barty could take another step towards Sirus, the two of them were being grabbed and pulled back, Barty by Regulus and Sirus, not by James, but by Remus.
They finally managed to get the two far enough away from each other to keep walking but the whole ordeal had caused much more stress than James was willing to admit.
Remus seemed to notice this and tried to ease the tension.
‘Want to skip Potions and slob around in the dorm?’
Sirius’ face instantly brightened. ‘Oh Moony, I thought you would never ask.
-
‘Ah, I see you have joined us.’
James glared at Barty as he dropped the invisibility cloak on the floor beside Regulus’ bed and clambered onto it, towards Regulus, who was already reaching out his arms to pull James closer.
‘Don’t you even start.’
Barty only smiled, pulling Evan closer to him from where he was sta on Barty’s lap. ‘Ah come on, it was funny, wasn’t it Ev?’
Evan shrugged and sighed. ‘I dunno, at first. But then you had to go all over the top and-’
‘EV! You’re supposed to be on my side! Always!’
‘He’s right Barty, that was fucking reckless.’ He rolled his eyes and James’ face. ‘Don’t, Jamie, the Siriusly jokes are bad enough.’
Barty groaned and slumped back further against the bedframe, pulling Evan with him. ‘You’re all so boring. Anyway, that little bitch insulted Ev so-’
‘Oi! That’s my best friend you’re on about!’
‘Boys, please.’ Evan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Can we not do this, please? I thought we agreed when Reg first brought James back here that we would be nice to each other.’
‘True,’ James shrugged. ‘I believe the term we used was ‘“friendly acquaintances” if I am not mistaken.’
‘Yeah,’ Bart agreed. ‘Friendly acquaintances.’
Regulus smiled, clearly happy with how easily this had all been sorted. ‘So, Jamie, how did you even get here? Surely your friends were…I don’t know, more protective after this morning?’
‘Oh you don’t even want to know, it took bloody ages for them to get to sleep so I could get out.’
Regulus yawned and shuffled slightly so he could pull the duvet over himself and James. ‘Well, I would like to get some sleep so I hope you lot don’t mind. And please don’t cancel the alarm today, I will hex your balls off.’ He shot a look to his two friends at that last bit and they both laughed, Barty kissed Evan on the cheek and grinned back at Regulus.
‘No promises.’