Chapter 30
James Potter stared up at Regulus Black in awe, his hands raking down his bare torso. He’d never been this close to him shirtless. His pale skin was almost shining as the winter sun shone through the bedroom window, the curtains badly drawn. He didn’t have abs, but he had a firm torso that made him look statuesque. James couldn’t help but admire him, his hands easily gripping his hips again as he leaned up, meeting Regulus in another open-mouthed kiss. Regulus’ hair fell over his forehead, James raising one of his hands to push it back, his fingers easily tangling in his raven locks.
They’d been like this all morning, James pulling Regulus into his lap as soon as he woke up. He liked having him there, looming over him, having his way with him. He could get used to it. In fact, he looked forward to getting used to it. Regulus was slightly addictive.
James pulled his head back, slightly, kissing down Regulus’ neck, running his tongue over love bites from the night before, when they’d done so much more than they were now. Regulus moaned quietly, exposing his neck more for James to continue down to his collarbones. James wondered if there was a term for people who were attracted to collarbones. He would be embarrassed to ask, though. Regulus would probably offer him a bashful look, or an eyeball. James was sure Regulus didn’t know how beautiful he really was. Or how hot.
“James,” Regulus murmured, his voice sounding weak. “I really, I, I need you.”
“Need me?” James questioned, pressing another kiss to his collarbone.
“Yes,” Regulus nodded, his actions seeming urgent. It made James giddy to think about it.
He stretched slightly, planting a kiss on his jaw. “You should use your words, baby boy,” he murmured, his voice sounding huskier than usual.
Regulus let out a strangled sound. “I need you to make me cum, James,” he finally said, his hips moving slightly as if involuntarily begging to be touched.
“Oh, you should have said,” James smirked, kissing his neck again. He let go of the younger’s hair, squeezing his hip as his other hand trailed down his torso, finally slipping under the waistband of Regulus’ boxers, gripping him.
Regulus made a gasping noise as James slowly moved his hand. He couldn’t help but watch in amazement as Regulus let out quiet moans, his hands gripping James’ arms as his hips moved again. “God,” he moaned quietly, biting his lip as James sped up before slowing again, the differing paces making Regulus’ eyes flicker shut.
“Does it feel good?” James questioned, watching him closely.
“So good,” he whined, his voice higher than usual, his breathing erratic. James felt weak just hearing him so wound up.
“Does it?” James asked, his mind blanking as he watched Regulus’ chest rise and fall in quick succession, his hips jutting forwards more creating friction which James craved but hadn’t had the chance to ask for yet.
Regulus nodded, his movements strained again. “Christ, yes, please keep going, please,” he whined, gripping his arms tighter. James was sure he’d leave a mark, but he didn’t care. He was too caught up in the moment as he felt Regulus get closer and closer to the edge.
Finally, with a twist of his hand, Regulus completely unravelled, moaning James’ name as his body trembled. James had to bite his lips to muffle his own moans as he watched Regulus’ features turn from frustration to bliss, his mouth falling open as he came.
Neither of them moved for a few moments, both of their breathing seeming in sync with each other as they caught their breath, James retracting his hand. Finally, Regulus opened his eyes, looking down at James, a blush sinking into his cheeks. “Can I…” He moved slightly, his hand moving towards James’ sweatpants waistband.
James grabbed his hand, stopping him, embarrassment setting in. “You don’t.. You don’t need to,” he murmured, his voice still slightly groggy.
Regulus looked at him with slight confusion before his eyes widened in shock. “But.. I barely moved…”
“You didn’t have to,” James looked away, feeling awkward at the idea of meeting his boyfriend's eye. Regulus’ hand was on his cheek, though, pulling his face back to face him, a smirk on his face.
“That’s kind of an ego boost,” he admitted.
“Shut up,” James rolled his eyes. Regulus laughed lightly, leaning down to kiss James softly, smiling into the kiss. James couldn’t help but feel happy as he kissed back.
James took the first shower, navigating his way around Regulus’ bathroom easily before changing into one of Regulus’ t-shirts, which was a bit tight on him. He pulled on his hoodie over it, though, along with his jeans, looking as he usually did by the time Regulus was out of the shower.
Regulus ended up eating leftover pizza while James stared at his phone, attempting to organise something which had to be done. He felt nervous just sending the text. But he managed it, as Regulus yawned beside him on the couch.
When his phone finally buzzed with a response, he cleared his throat, Regulus lifting his head to look at him. “I have to go out,” James informed him, feeling suddenly formal.
“Okay…” Regulus led off, eyebrows raising.
“To meet Lily…” James led off too, uncomfortable just saying it.
“Oh,” was all Regulus said, nodding slowly. James could see him calculating a million things to say. He was sure Regulus didn’t know he could read him as well as he did. There was so much self-doubt under the surface. He knew Regulus often hid behind a layer of confidence, which James could see was an act.
James reflexly reached out, cupping Regulus’ cheek. He liked doing that. It felt intimate as if he were holding a fallen star. “I owe her an explanation, Reggie. I need to tell her what happened, and.. I need to apologise for how I treated her.”
“Yeah,” Regulus nodded against his hand, turning to rest his head in his palm.
“I want to keep her as a friend,” James admitted, waiting for Regulus to argue.
But he didn’t. He nodded again. “So do I.. I haven’t seen her since dinner,” he sighed quietly, and James felt the familiar flame of anger towards his best friend which had been burning for weeks. “Will you pass on my regards… And apologies.”
“You have nothing to apologise for, Reggie,” James sighed.
“Will you do it anyway?” He requested, and James nodded, giving in. He’d probably do anything for Regulus.
“Course,” he promised. He stroked his cheek for a moment, smiling as he felt him lean into him more.
James ended up kissing him twice before getting out the front door, immediately wanting to return. He’d be back after his coffee with Lily, and they’d have a few more hours before James would really have to leave their little bubble of peace. But he still didn’t enjoy walking onto the street outside Regulus’ flat, into the cold weather.
He hugged his coat around him, attempting to remember his way to the cafe he’d organised to meet Lily in from Regulus’ street. With most of the students from Hogwarts still away for the holidays, Hogsmeade felt rather empty.
When he finally arrived at the cafe, looking around, he found Lily already there, sitting at a booth in the corner. She had her back to him, but he could see she’d already got a cup of coffee, so he ordered his own, bringing it to the table as quickly as he could.
Lily looked up at him, eyebrows raising ever so slightly as he slid into the booth across from her. “Hi,” she greeted him, her voice low.
“Hi,” he replied, pulling off his coat. He dropped it next to him, leaning his arms on the table. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Your texts made it sound urgent,” she shrugged. She took a cautious sip of her coffee, waiting for him to start.
James probably should have prepared for this. He’d known he had to talk to her since she walked out the night of the party. She’d told him just that. “You seem.. I don’t know, James, this news has affected you in a way that I can’t even figure out.. So, do me a favour, don’t call me until you do!” She’d slammed the door on the way out, leaving James to stand in his room, attempting to work out what exactly he was feeling.
But he hadn’t prepared. He’d realised his feelings, slowly but surely, and forgotten how to even talk to the girl he’d dated for the past months
“I’m sorry for how I treated you the last months of our relationship, Lily.. I was distracted, and absent.. and just an altogether bad boyfriend, really, and I’m sorry about that,” he started, watching her frown slightly.
She wrapped her hands around her mug, looking at that rather than him. “You weren’t a bad boyfriend.”
“I was, honestly,” James sighed, looking down. “I was, and I know why now…” Lily looked up, eyebrows raising slightly. James couldn’t really read her expression and wasn’t sure what he was going to expect as he said his next words. She might start crying. That would be awful. Or maybe she’d sob. He felt anxious. But he had to say it, looking her in the eyes as he spoke. “I’m in love with Regulus.”
Her face didn’t crumple. In fact, the images of her crying which had flashed through his mind weren’t at all what he saw. She was just blinking, her head tilting to the side. “You figured it out, then?”
He squinted, watching the small smile appear on her lips. “What?” Was all he could say.
“You figured it out,” Lily shrugged. She lifted her cup, taking a small sip before placing it back on the table. It took a second for James to realise she was hinting at the fact she already knew. She confirmed it though, nodding. “I knew.”
“You knew?” He questioned.
“Well, I suspected before December,” she shrugged. “You’d drop everything for him, you’d talk about him.. You’d get actively annoyed at Sirius over him, which you never do.. I mean, I thought Sirius was a saint in your books, considering he could do no wrong. But when it came to his brother, you always looked ready for a fight.”
James blinked a few times, searching for something to say, but she was continuing. “And then when Sirius let it slip that Regulus liked you.. Well, I don’t know. Your whole expression changed. You were angry, sure, but there was something clicking in your head. You seemed almost relieved to finally know that it was reciprocated.”
“So, you knew…” he looked at her, watching as she nodded. “God, that’s even worse. I didn’t! I promise I didn’t. If I had of I wouldn’t have strung you along like that, I swear.”
She frowned, reaching across the table to grab his arm. “You didn’t string me along, James. You didn’t know. I didn’t think we were gonna end up married or something, okay? We’re okay.”
“We’re okay?” James questioned, shock setting in. He had kind of expected a fight or an insult at the least. But she was nodding, squeezing his arm.
“Of course we are. You can’t help who you love, James,” she squeezed his arm again. “I knew as soon as Sirius said that that we were over, and it hurt in the moment.. But I’m okay. You were my friend first, and you’ll be my friend again, okay?” He nodded slowly, and she frowned, raising her hand to stroke his cheek. “Don’t cry!”
He hadn’t even noticed the tear slipping down his cheek. He jumped at the revelation, quickly swiping it off as she returned to her mug. “Sorry, I’m just.. I’m so relieved to hear you say that. I kind of expected you to hate me.”
“I could never hate you, James,” she promised, her tone full of reassurance. “I was angry that night, and I’m sorry if you thought I wasn’t gonna forgive you for it. But I’m okay, I promise.”
“Okay,” James nodded, wiping his cheek again to ensure no more tears were threatening to fall. “Okay, good.”
She watched him for a moment, offering a shy smile. “So, you’re together then?”
“What?” He questioned, wondering how she could know that.
“You have a hickey,” she pointed towards his neck, making him blush from the neck up. She laughed lightly, eyebrows raising. “Are you?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, unable to hide his grin.
She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling as she did so. “I’m happy for you,” she promised him. “Is he okay?”
“Regulus? I think so. We got back yesterday, so we haven’t really left our protective bubble from Christmas break.. But I suppose we will today,” he shrugged. He took a sip of his drink, taking a moment to think. “We haven’t told Sirius.”
“You haven’t?” Lily looked surprised at the information. “You tell Sirius everything.”
James shrugged. “Well, they have a difficult relationship.. And I suppose we have a difficult relationship now, too… He only called to apologise for the whole dinner fiasco on Christmas Day, and he didn’t call me until Boxing Day,” he complained. “And we haven’t talked properly since, really. A few texts, but nothing else.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“Well, eventually, sure… But, I don’t know about just yet,” he murmured. “I don’t think we need all eyes on us when it’s all so… New.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” Lily promised him.
“Thank you,” he smiled at her. “Are you going to the New Year’s thing? I think Sirius has something big planned.”
“Now that we’ve chatted, of course,” she smiled. “Are you taking Regulus?”
“Sirius invited him anyway. I think he’s trying to patch up their relationship.”
“Good,” Lily nodded. “Regulus wants that more than you know.”
James tilted his head. Lily knew Regulus more than he realised. “He’s worried you’re mad at him,” he informed her. “So, if you could call him.. Or call round to him tonight, or something… He’s been worried you’ll despise him.”
“I could never,” she shook her head. “He’s a good one, James. You better keep him safe.”
James smiled, warmth spreading through his chest. “I plan to,” he promised. And he did.