Chapter 11
He waited a day, just to prepare himself. He felt slightly lighter after his conversation with Remus, but still not great. It took him almost an hour of staring out his living room window to finally hype himself up enough to pick up the phone.
James picked up after 1 ring, his voice jolting Regulus who had been gazing out the window again. “Reggie?”
“HI,” Regulus winced at how quiet his voice sounded. He could hear James breathing on the other end of the line, and he reflexly reached into his pocket, pulling out his cigarette pack. He wasn’t meant to smoke in the apartment, but his parents owned the building. He was sure it was fine. He slowly pulled one from the pack, all the while waiting for James to say something. He had no idea what he was supposed to say, anyway. He’d done his bit just by calling.
“Hi,” James finally said, as Regulus slipped his lighter out. The R.A.B was fading, the lighter fluid dwindling. He’d need James to scribble on another for him. It comforted him in a way.
“Hi,” Regulus repeated, and winced again, finally lighting the cigarette.
“You called,” he sounded almost excited, and Regulus wondered why.
“I called,” he confirmed, lamely.
“I was worried,” he admitted. Regulus took a drag of the cigarette, slowly getting up. He’d need a mug for the ash.
“You said… in your voicemail,” he nodded, pulling a mug from the cupboard.
“You sound… bad. Are you okay?” Regulus could hear him shuffling on the other end, a door closing somewhere.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied, tipping ash into the mug. “Am I interrupting..”
“No! No! I’m just at Lily’s, but listen, you give me ten minutes and I can be at yours! I’ll bring some food, a film, something like that? You sound tired.” He was scrambling. Scrambling to help Regulus even though he was at his girlfriend's house. He was so nice, so lovely. Regulus hated him.
He wished he would be a dick. He wished he would call out Regulus, give out to him for being over-emotional, and spoilt. Scream for possibly ruining his friendship with his best friend. At least swear once or twice to show how annoying Regulus really was. But he didn’t. He simply asked, “you still there?”
“James, I just thought I’d let you know I’m okay, really. I’m fine. So, you don’t need to call anymore, or come over,” Regulus rushed out. Distance. Distance was what he needed. Maybe in a year, he could see James without his chest hurting, but for now, it was too much. Lily was too oblivious, as was James. Both of them deserved better than him.
“Reg,” James started, but Regulus was cutting him off, smoke drifting from his lips as tears pricked his eyes.
“I just have a lot on right now, so I just need some space away from everyone, okay?” His voice sounded raw, stripped back.
“You can’t push me away Reggie. You’re my friend-“
“And so is Sirius!” Regulus cut in, unable to help himself. “Sirius is your friend too. You’re closer to him, you know more about him, he’s your best friend! So, just… Don’t burn your bridges with him over someone like me!”
“Reggie what are you talk-“
“I have to go,” he lied, losing all courage he once had. “Bye, James.”
“Reg-“
The line went dead.