Chapter 5
His black eye was gone within a few days, and he didn’t see James again that week. Part of him was thankful for this, but the other part wondered if that was because James had been avoiding him since his cryptic words, or spending time with his girlfriend. Regulus hated both of those ideas.
He didn’t seek him out, recuperating by himself and keeping himself busy with readings for classes, and doing essays. The easy lull of loneliness set in after a few days, but he was in no mood to go out or reach out. He was fine alone, ignoring the painful pit in his stomach.
He considered calling James in his second week of solitude, late one night. He was sitting on the couch in his living room, his brain playing the endless debate on whether or not to turn on the tv, or read a book. The thought of calling James was suddenly consuming him. He would probably be nice and invite him to the pub or ask him if he wanted to chat. But Regulus was reminded, steadily, that James had a girlfriend. And boys usually spent evenings with their girlfriends, if they can.
He was still debating when the knock came on his door, making him jump in surprise. He looked behind him, eyeing the door as if it were a bomb poised to explode at any second. But it could be James. James might have heard his thoughts, somehow, and decided to pay him a visit.
Regulus pushed himself to his feet as the knocking continued, shuffling awkwardly towards his front door. It was almost 10 o’clock.
“Hi!” Lily was standing with a pizza box clutched between her hands, and a windswept look about her. She had more freckles on her face than last time he’d seen her, and a bright smile, throwing Regulus off balance completely.
“Hello?” Regulus stared at her, dumbstruck.
She shook the pizza box, showing it off slightly. “Invite me in, cmon!” She was teasing her tone light as she pushed past him, bustling into his apartment. He slowly closed the door behind her, and watched as she set the box on the counter, looking around. “This place is dark.”
“Sorry,” he turned on the kitchen light. The living room light was too far away to shine on them. “Lily, right?”
“Yep!” She opened the box, pushing it towards him. “Here.”
“What?” He almost cringed at how lost he sounded.
She shrugged, gesturing to the pizza box. “James said you were sick, so I brought you food to make you feel better.”
“It’s ten o’clock.”
“We’re students, that’s like midday,” she pushed the box towards him again. “Have some.”
He took a slice, taking a bite. It was plain cheese, but delicious. It was still steaming hot, and he tried to remember if he’d ever eaten that day. His days had been blurring together a bit. “So, you brought pizza to my flat at 10 on a Tuesday because James said I wasn’t feeling well?”
She shrugged, casually. “I heard you had a fight with your brother, and I wanted to cheer you up.”
“Why?” He eyed her suspiciously. “You barely know me.”
“I feel like I do,” her voice quieted down a bit. “James always talks about you. Sirius too, sometimes. They always paint a picture of someone so…” She looked at him, squinting slightly, and Regulus frowned. She could probably still see the yellowish bruise that was fading slower than it should. “Not this.”
“Did James send you to check up on me?” He sighed, bitterness taking over.
“No, I came on my own.” She reached for her own slice, taking a small bite. Regulus watched her for a moment. “We have something in common that James will never understand.”
Love for him? Regulus thought to himself but shook the thought away. “What would that be?”
“Difficult siblings,” she shrugged. “I know what you’re going through. My sister hates my guts. James ‘only child’ Potter doesn’t get that.”
“Why does your sister hate you?” He asked because he couldn’t help himself.
Lily took another bite, looking towards the living room as she chewed. Regulus watched in anticipation. She put down the slice, sighing. “We were never that close, anyway, but it really tipped over the edge when we did GCSE’s. She’s older and failed a few, and she didn’t get what she wanted for the A-levels. But I did. I got top marks in everything, and got into the college we both wanted to go to, and then into Hogwarts… It all made her resent me, more and more. I mean… She retook her exams and got good results, but she still holds it against me.”
Regulus bit the inside of his cheek, feeling awkward. “I’m sorry, that’s rough.”
“It is. We were close when we were really little. If I did something wrong, she’d take the blame, and now she makes up things I do wrong just to see if I can get into trouble.” She seemed blasé, numbed in the same way that Regulus was.
He found himself nodding, dropping his slice. “Sirius was like that. Our parents are horrible, of course, and Sirius winds them up. He does it on purpose sometimes, as if he’s proving how much of a disappointment he can be to them, rubbing it in their faces. He hates me because I won’t do the same.” He looked at Lily, watching her frown at him. He needed a drink.
He pulled two glasses from the cabinet, along with a bottle of vodka. “Want some?”
“Please,” she nodded, picking at her food again. He poured two glasses.
“I need my rent paid, y’know. And my education. Sirius got a hefty inheritance cheque from one of our dead uncles, but I didn’t. He had a fall back. I don’t have that,” he threw back his drink, blinking a few times as the taste burned his throat. Lily knocked hers back too, grinning.
“Another?” She nodded.
They downed their drinks, and poured more, the pizza slowly disappearing over the course of the night. Lily talked of her life at home, a small house on a road of other houses, near Surrey. Regulus told her about his townhouse in London, and the family holiday homes that spanned a number of places. He leaned closer to hear about her summers in Irelands, and Christmas trips to London for a show. He shared his own stories about memories with Sirius from Christmases past.
He offered Lily his bed when he realised it was 1, and the vodka bottle was empty. She insisted on the couch, but he led her down the hall, pushing open the door for her, and grabbing a spare blanket from his wardrobe for himself.
She stopped him on his way out the door, her hand on his arm. “Regulus,” she said, her voice low, and her expression soft. Regulus stopped, looking down at her. “Thank you for… opening up to me. And letting me open up to you.. James is amazing, but he wouldn’t understand this. Not like you. I really… I appreciate it.”
He smiled at her, the alcohol making him almost giggle. “Thank you, Lily.”
“Thank you!” She drew him into a hug before they both retracted, her shuffling into his room while he stumbled back to his couch, where he spent an uncomfortable night on the couch.