“Cuthbert! You can’t just marry two professors to each other!”
Binns crossed his arms, wondering to himself how he’d ever gotten involved in such nonsense.
“I told them that if they were going to keep using my classroom to do that, they should get married. It is only proper. You should be thanking me, Headmistress. I’m helping the school remain a centre of decorum and proper decency!”
Harry and Severus, the aforementioned newlyweds, sat scowling from where McGonagall had stuck them to their chairs in her office. It had come as a shock to the both of them when paperwork had arrived that morning at breakfast from the Ministry confirming their nuptials.
“Yes, well, perhaps they could have been more careful about where they chose to, ahem, conduct themselves,” she shot her two most troublesome teachers a look, one which reminded them both perhaps they were better off staying quiet. “But that doesn’t mean you can just marry each other! How did you even get them to agree to the vows?”
“They both like saying ‘yes, yes’ very much. I just had to time my part of the service correctly. It is highly annoying what they've been up to. I need my classroom to relax in.”
“You’re a ghost, you dratted man! What do you need to relax from? Minerva, he’s dead, how is it possible that his legal powers to marry people are still, well, legal?”
“Well, Severus, that part I’m still not sure of. But for now, you two are legally married. As per Castle rules, you’ll be moving into the same chambers this evening.”
Excellent, thought Cuthbert as he drifted off through the wall and back to his rooms leaving the three of them squabbling. If Professors Snape and Potter had to share a set of private quarters, perhaps they’d finally leave his poor classroom alone.