The Carrows are getting worse.
Pansy’s pretty sure it’s because of the rising tension of the war.
Draco came back from the Easter holidays with news: the Golden Trio had shown up at his home. Not on purpose, they’d been taken by Snatchers. And Luna, who'd disappeared a week earlier was being kept in his basement. But the Golden Trio, Luna, and the other prisoners had been rescued soon after the arrival of Potter. Daphne had told Pansy Draco was stressed and anxious. (Daphne is one of the spies for the D.A. if you can call it that. She, along with other students in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff, pass along any information they hear. And since Pansy’s close with her, Daphne uses their nighttime meetings to update her on general news, too.)
So now that everyone knows Potter is still alive, there are some mixed reactions. The D.A. is doing more to resist from their hidden place. Neville and Ginny have been going outside at night far more than usual, leaving messages for the Carrows in plain view, and hidden messages for students to find. The Carrows and Snape, though, are more volatile. Angrier.
For the first time, Hannah and Pansy have had to take a student to Madam Pomfrey. They didn’t know what else to do, because nothing was helping.
Other than the extra resistance the D.A. is showing, people are glad to hear that Potter is still alive and fighting. Pansy herself is glad to hear it.
But the night they learned about Potter, Pansy had heard sniffles from Ginny’s hammock. She was lying awake, trying not to fall asleep so she wouldn’t have another nightmare when she’d heard it. And because by that point she knew Ginny relatively well, she knew Ginny would not want anyone else to know she was crying.
So she’d done nothing until it had become clear that Ginny was not doing well. And then, she’d gotten up and gone to Ginny, pulling her into the bathroom.
She’d hopped up on the counter and asked, “What’s wrong?” and Ginny had told her everything. How she was beyond happy to hear that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were okay, but they were at Malfoy Manor, and was that really considered okay? And she couldn’t hear from them and it was terrifying. And now they knew Luna was okay but what had the poor girl gone through?
Pansy had listened to her, not being able to offer much in the form of comfort, but had let Ginny tell her everything she wanted to. And when the girl didn’t have anything left to say on how she was feeling, Pansy asked her about the fact that she’d been dating Harry.
It felt odd, talking about ‘normal’ things. Having a typical conversation about boys, of all things, when there was a war going on. But it was nice. When Ginny had told her how she and Harry had broken up because he wanted to protect her, Pansy hadn’t been able to resist letting out a snort.
Ginny had smiled and said, “It’s stupid, right?”
“Yeah, did he really think you needed protection?”
“Apparently so. Anyway…” Ginny had looked up at her with a teasing grin and said, “You like Neville.”
“Right, I think that’s enough girl talk for one night.” Pansy had hopped off of the counter, but Ginny had stopped her before she could leave the bathroom, giggling a little but still sincere as she said, “Hey, it’s okay. I won’t tell or anything, I just think it’s sweet.”
Pansy had smiled awkwardly and Ginny had giggled. The two of them had gone back to their hammocks to get some sleep, and that had been it.
Nothing is safe anymore. More and more students are ending up in the RoR. And with more students disappearing under their noses, the Carrows are angry. Draco and Blaise and Daphne are part of the reformed Inquisitorial Squad, which is now their main way of getting information. They’ll warn Pansy and the others when they know what their schedules are. Neville had gotten Daphne and Pansy the charmed Galleons, so Daphne was able to let her know what parts of the castle to avoid, what days not to leave the room, etc.
Pansy’s friends are also responsible for getting students to the RoR if they need it. They’ll take the students to a safe place (as safe as they can, anyway) and let the D.A. know where they are.
Today, Pansy and Neville are looking for a pair of Slytherin third-years who need a way out. They’re turning a corner when they hear cackles of laughter. Carrow laughter.
Within seconds, Neville is pulling Pansy against his chest back around the corner. He’s pressed against the wall, arms tight around Pansy. She hopes he can’t feel how fast her heart is beating but knows he’d probably chalk it up to the nearness of the Carrows.
(Not that it’s because of how close he’s holding her.)
“If they come closer,” he murmurs in her ear, “we pretend I’ve kidnapped you and you’re being held against your will.”
“Nev-” she’s cut off by his hand covering her mouth. He’s not letting her argue. Stupid bloody Gryffindor.
They stay there for a while. The longer they wait, the more anxious Pansy gets. She does her best to focus on the exhales that she feels on the back of her head.
Among the cackling, they hear the spells the Carrows are casting. Pansy does her best to commit them to memory. It’ll help later.
For the Carrows, they’re using quite tame spells.
Until…
“Crucio!” The spell stops Pansy’s heart. She’s heard that spell dozens of times more than any seventeen-year-old should, but the Carrows using it sends a shock of fear through her. Neville freezes behind her. Pansy racks her brain to try to figure out why and then it hits her.
Neville’s parents were tortured to insanity. She remembers the class in fourth year when the Moody imposter had done a demonstration of all three Unforgivables. (How had anyone thought he was actually Alastor Moody?) She remembers seeing Neville turn pale when the man had used crucio on the spiders. She remembers noticing how white his knuckles were on the edge of his desk.
He’s shaking now. His breaths are getting quicker, based on the puffs of air she can feel ruffling her hair.
She looks around, trying to look for somewhere they can go. She recognizes a hidden passageway and reaches for Neville’s hand. He’s clenching his fists so tightly, she’s worried he’s going to draw blood.
But when Pansy carefully takes his hand, his fist unclenches, letting her hold his hand. She pulls him to the passageway.
Casting a quick muffliato as he sinks to the floor, his free hand coming up to his head, she kneels in front of him, still gripping his hand.
She doesn’t try to make him talk. She knows it won’t help. Instead, she just sits with him, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. When Neville gets panic attacks, he needs physical touch in some form, but nothing too much or he feels like he’s being smothered.
While sitting there, she keeps an ear out for what the Carrows are doing. Luckily, they haven’t thrown any more crucios.
After a few minutes, Neville has calmed down from his panic attack. He squeezes her hand and gives her a watery smile.
“I’m okay now,” he whispers. Pansy smiles back and helps him to his feet.
He pokes his head out of the passageway to look for the Carrows. There’s a loud crash and more maniac cackling.
“I’m really sorry about this, Pans,” he tells her.
“Sorry for what?” He gives her a guilty look.
“Stupefy,” he whispers. The last thing she sees is Neville mouthing ‘Sorry’.
When she comes to, it’s silent. She leaves the passageway and goes to where the Carrows’ voices had come from. Inside a classroom are three bodies, all, as far as she can tell, unconscious. Two Slytherins she assumes are the third years she and Neville were going to collect and Neville himself.
Stupid bloody Gryffindor.
She crouches down next to him. In the dim light, she can barely make out the various cuts and bruises covering his face, and she’s sure he has more all over the rest of his body. She casts a spell to see if any bones are broken and is relieved when it reveals nothing.
Luckily, the same spells reveal the same outcome on the two Slytherins. Their injuries are less severe than Neville’s, so Pansy wakes them up and leads them to the RoR, which isn’t very far away. Hannah leads them to hammocks while Ginny asks about Neville.
“He’s okay, I think. Got beat up pretty bad, I’m heading back to get him now,” Pansy tells her. Ginny nods and goes to help Hannah talk to the Slytherin third years. Pansy heads back to where she left Neville.
He’s still lying on the floor, so she kneels next to him and starts trying to wake him up.
Neville’s eyelashes flutter. His eyes slowly open and he blinks a few times before focusing on Pansy.
“Hey, Pans,” he mumbles, words slurring together as he smiles.
“You fucking dumbass,” she whispers. It would be more effective if she wasn’t so happy he’s okay, but she can clearly hear the relief in her own voice. “They could have killed you!”
“But they didn’t.” He’s still smiling, but it’s an odd smile, and that’s how she knows he has some kind of head injury. Unfortunately, she’s not good at healing spells for those.
“That is so not the point, Neville. Can you stand?” She helps him to his feet, albeit unsteadily. He’s leaning heavily against her, but he’s at least upright.
“Your hair smells nice,” he says into her hair. She’s glad he can’t see her face because she’s sure it’s bright red from both the comment and the way his breath is ghosting across her scalp.
“Um. Thanks? I think? Whatever, let’s get you back to the room so Hannah can get you fixed up.” She helps Neville to the RoR, hoping against hope they won’t come across anyone. (But at the same time, she wants to kill the Carrows for all they’ve done.)
When they make it into the room, Hannah is at Neville’s other side immediately, slinging his other arm over her shoulder and helping Pansy bring him to the cot they use for healing.
When Neville’s on the cot and Hannah is beginning to heal him, Pansy turns to find Ginny right behind her.
“The Carrows?” Ginny asks.
“Yeah. How are the third years?” Pansy asks.
“They’re alright. Shaken, but fine,” Ginny tells her. Pansy nods.
“I feel like a little bit of vandalism tonight. Care to join me?” Pansy asks the girl. Ginny smirks.
“I think that sounds great,” she says.
They write Potter’s Army on the walls and doors. They leave taunts for the Carrows. Pansy pretends not to notice how the other girl looks at her when she writes a particularly dark message on the door of the Carrows’ classroom.
She’s beyond pissed off. And right now, all she can do is write anonymous messages.
They head back to the RoR in silence.
Once inside, Pansy realizes how late it is by the fact that everyone’s asleep. Well, everyone except Neville, who’s pacing in front of the couch. Hannah has clearly managed to heal him because there are no signs of any injuries. He looks up when they enter and visibly sags, almost tripping over his feet in his haste to get to them.
(Pansy’s struck by a wave of fondness at the reminder that he’s still endearingly clumsy, even though he’s reckless and self-sacrificing and the definition of a Gryffindor.)
He hugs Ginny tightly, who rolls her eyes and grumbles that she's ‘fine, Neville, stop being a mother hen!’ before going straight to her hammock.
Neville turns to Pansy, who surprises even herself when she throws her arms around him. He’s frozen for a moment in what she assumes is shock, before he’s wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her impossibly closer, burying his head in her neck.
She realizes it’s the first time she’s ever hugged him. They hold hands a lot, for whatever reason, and in the last several weeks, they’ve fallen asleep leaning on each other multiple times, but they’ve never hugged.
Pansy likes his hugs a lot, she decides.
Too soon, they pull back.
“Where did you go?” Neville asks, taking her hand and bringing her to the couch. He hands her a cup of tea and she takes a sip from it. (It doesn’t escape her notice that he’s made it exactly the way she likes it. And maybe it’s the fact that he someone else made it for her, but it tastes better than usual.)
“Went to go vandalize some stuff,” she tells him.
“We really are a bad influence on you, aren’t we?” he asks, smiling a little.
“Yep. Can’t believe I hang out with you lot, honestly,” she teases. He chuckles.
“Are you doing better?” Pansy asks softly.
“Yeah, loads.”
“Good.” She smacks his arm.
“Ow, what the hell was that for?”
“Being an absolute dumbass and trying to take the Carrows on your own! What were you thinking?”
“I don’t know, I just got so… angry. They shouldn’t be using that spell on kids!”
“They shouldn’t be using it at all!”
“So why are you mad at me?”
“Because you need to take better care of yourself!”
That shuts him up. Pansy huffs and takes another sip of tea.
“It’s because you’re a Gryffindor,” she tells him, quieter. “You’re reckless and impulsive and you don’t take a moment to think about yourself and your own safety before jumping into things to save someone else. And that’s great, really, it is, but you need to be more careful.”
“Pansy, I couldn’t let them torture those kids!”
“I know.” He looks at her for a moment before letting out a sigh.
“I’m sick of this,” he mumbles. “I’m sick of constantly hiding and not being able to help as much as I want to, and I’m sick of the Carrows having free reign over everything, and I’m sick of this stupid war that we shouldn’t be fighting in.”
“I want to kill them,” Pansy admits in a whisper, staring at the fire. “I want them to suffer for everything they’ve done, I want them to feel all the torture they inflicted on literal children.”
“I’ll help you with that,” Neville says. She turns to face him, a little surprised.
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course. Why does that surprise you? You were just lecturing me on how I shouldn’t jump into danger all the time.”
“I just… Dumbledore always talked about forgiveness and such. And the light side has always tried to avoid killing members of the dark when possible.”
“Some things can’t be forgiven,” Neville says softly. “And I won’t pretend that murder is okay, but some people are too dangerous to be left alive.”
Pansy nods and lets out a yawn. Neville’s lips quirk up into a smile.
“You should get some sleep.”
“No, you,” Pansy mumbles.
“I will if you do,” he says. But Pansy’s already falling asleep, head dropping to his shoulder. His arm comes up to wrap around her shoulders.
She wakes up in her hammock later that morning. It takes a moment for her to realize where she is because the last thing she remembers is falling asleep on the couch.
Pansy feels butterflies in her stomach when it clicks that Neville must have carried her to her hammock.
Merlin, this boy is going to be the death of her.