13
AN: HI BABES. ily. i'm sorry this one took so long, i've been so busy with work and family stuff. But it's finally here. xx
Harry and Ronald had avoided Hermiones eyes anytime they crossed paths.
They knew what they did was wrong, they knew they had hurt her. But they wouldn't admit that nor would they apologize.
Hermione knew they didn't want her on the hunt with them because she insisted they used lethal magic.
She wanted them to survive. She wanted to help them survive. She was giving herself to death so that they could live and this is what they do.
It wasn't fair.
Everything felt unfair.
Someone had finally made Hermione feel something. They had made her feel warmth and safe but she wasn't allowed to have them. She wasn't allow to want them and that was unfair.
The way he spoke about her, the way he touched her had given her butterflies. But did his words actually mean something? Or was it the amount of alcohol he has consumed? Either way it had made her think thinks over a lot.
Draco lacked love and intimacy in his life as much as she did. For that moment they had, she filled his need to be loved. They had both needed each other.
But it couldn't happen again. It wouldn't happen again. Hermione had a duty to fulfill and so did he.
Hermione needed to use him. That was her job. It had been proven that he took some interest in her, he had been vulnerable with her. Things would take time but as long as Draco continued supplying the order with necessary information things could work. She could use him. Lie. Make him believe a lie.
This would be a process, a long, drawn out process. But she knew he was patient. She had known him enough to know that when he wanted something he would get it, no matter how long it took. He would get it. He was willing to go to lengths most wouldn't dare.
He was dangerous, and relentless. Draco Malfoy was a master manipulator. He had been controler people around him his entire life.
There was a point for most people, a point where it was too much to get what they wanted. Whether that was lying, manipulation, or murder, everyone had a line they wouldn't cross. Malfoy didn't. He was fueled by anger, resentment, and revenge.
She thought about how she had to give herself to him. How she had to allow him to own her so that she could control him. She was terrified. She wished there was another way to do things. But Malfoy and his information was crucial.
The concept that she was selling herself physically and emotionally to win the war was baffling. Who would have known that Hermione Jean Granger, the golden girl, would be prostituting to save her friends. The concept that Malfoy owned her was equally unbelievable.
He would be reserved when they met again. He would most likely try to push her away and fall back into their isolated relationships.
How long would that last? If he wanted her but knows he shouldn't have her, his desire is going to burn until its a forest fire, too much to go unnoticed. He will look at her and think about how he cannot kiss her, or touch her, or how he will have to be careful will drive him mad.
It was driving her mad. She wanted him...
She could sell her body to pay for a war she didn't start but for some reason using her emotions to pay was harder.
Sometimes her emotions felt like the only real part of her she had left.
"Down for some steamy sex now?" she rubbed the coin between her fingers feeling the groves against her fingertips.
She sat flipping the coin over and over in her hands for ten minutes before aparating to the shack.
The shack was empty. There was no trace anyone had been there since the night they spent together. Their slushy cups sitting on the floor in front of the couch along with the empty wine boxes.
There was a sinking feeling of realization that he was not coming. He would not be meeting her tonight. She wouldn't get to watch his blond hair fall into his face or listen to his sly remarks tonight and that made her sort of sad.
He hadn't left parchment with new information and she wasn't sure what that meant. Did that mean there wasn't any new information? Was there something wrong with Draco? Had something happened to him or was he just feeling the hangover of a night with her? She didn't know but her fear grew somewhere in her stomach.
She found herself going back and thinking about him often.
The memory of their snogging. The way his lips felt pressed against hers. She remembers how warm his body was and how good it felt when his lips trailed down her neck.
She had waited for him at the shack every day of the month. She waited ten minutes each day. Some days there would be parchment with information. but never a note addressed to her. He left her to worry about him, about them.
Had she ruined everything between them? She knew they could never have what she wanted them to have, but even then she still wanted him. She still wanted to be able to talk to him.
Her constant thoughts and anxiety over him had made sleeping difficult. It had made everything difficult.
She found refuge in her room. It was the only place that wasn't occupied constantly. It was a place that was safe from the guilty eyes of Harry and Ron.
When she wasn't working or waiting for Malfoy she took to exercising or practicing her dueling.
There was no room to duel at Grimmauld as it was taken up by the order. So she used Malfoys shack. She would conjure a dummy with a red x across its chest. She would practice shooting spells at the X. Her wand work was good but she worked close most of the time so her aim from farther away was rather dreadful.
She would then cast a charm so her spells would bounce back at her and she would have to try to not curse herself.
After falling into several stinging hexes and various other hexes Hermione had managed to actually see improvement in her dueling skills.
She thought Malfoy would be pleased with how she was coming along at dueling if he would ever see her again. And her muscular tone had developed nicely. Her physique was something she now admired about herself.
She devoted so much of her time to staying busy so he mind wouldn't drift to Malfoy. Her days were completely filled and when it came time to sleep she was exhausted. A dose of dreamless sleep to stop the nightmares. Something that was once dreaded by her was now desired.
But, inevitably, there were times when her body could not take anymore exercise. She was forced to think. She would lay on the floor drenched in her salty sweat, feeling the aches throughout her whole writhing body. Her mind would involuntarily drift to Malfoy. He was avoiding her. The silence he had forced between them ate at her. She would replay what had happened. She questioned herself and her thoughts, and created new worries. Whatever had happened between them, she ruined. But maybe he was driving them apart because of his desired her, she thought.
Another thing that ate at her was that she missed him. It was something that made her cringe at herself, but there was nothing to do other than to accept her feeling. She had grown so accustomed to his presence that his sudden withdrawal made her deeply aware of how lonely she was before him.
The months began to pass without him meeting her.
Hermione was sure of how she felt but the best word to describe it was, broken or fractured.
He had become to unknowingly important to her, she wondered what she was supposed to do.
Her heart ached for something she could never have.
Hermiones hope that he would eventually turn up grew everyday, she would forage and visit the shack regularly.
The dittany supply had run out for the hospital and she ventured into a warded forest as there were no longer forests where she could apparate. She casted detective charms to ensure her safety.
After thirty minutes of foraging the chirping of the birds and crickets had died. The only sound was the rustling of wind blowing through the trees. An eerie feeling sunk through Hermiones body. She wasn't alone any longer.
Immediately stashing her bag she turns sharply to cast new detection spells in every way. There was nothing.
The unnerving feeling in her stomach stayed as she walked calmly to the edge of the anti- apparition zone.
Hermione was nearly there. Her heart rate had begun to slow down right before there were razor sharp teeth piercing into the back of her arm. Hermiones jaw had clenched so hard she thought her teeth might shatter. Wrenching herself away from their grasp.
She turned to run but a cold hand grabbed her injured arm, stopping her from going further. A small scream escapes from her throat as she feels the pain pulsating through her.
The moonlight allows her to see a fanged silhouette. The being knocks her down onto the hard ground knocking air out of her lungs.
Within seconds the vampire had sank its teeth into her shoulder. Her wand hand was held down by its icy hands.
Hermione rips a dagger from its holster on her upper thigh. She stabs drives the blade into its mandible, she feels the life cease. It's body baring all weight on her she manages to roll it off.
Her lungs rapidly inflating and deflating as she ran the last feet to apparate.
Before she could process what happened she had appeared on the doorsteps to the shack. There was not time to apparate to a new destination as she was bleeding immensely.
The entirety of her left body was drenched with her scarlet blood. Vampire venom contained an anticoagulant which would prevent her blood from clotting. Which could make her bleed out if she didn't act fast.
Hermiones body slumps onto the cot in the empty shack. She casts a diagnostic to read into her vitals. She was suffering from blood loss, soon she would start to feel the effects.
The vampire had bitten just above her clavicle. The bite was deep and ripped open from being pushed off of her.
Hermione casts a cleansing spell. After the old blood had left she crushed dittany leaves and buried them in the gashes.
Being a healer she always had necessary healing supply's with her. She pulled out a potion that would work as a coagulant and swallowed it quickly.
After the blood had stopped she gently pulled the dittany leaves out and cleansed herself once again.
Muttering the spell she watched as her lacerations began slowly closing. After her shoulder had been healed, she moved onto the back of her arm, repeating everything she had done earlier.
While pulling out the leaves there was a crack of apparition.
Her eyes lift to see Draco standing in front of her. Her cheeks flush a shade of red almost as bright as the blood she's covered in. She probably looked like she had just slaughtered a village.
Though, he wouldn't care. That was his job. Slaughtering many people.
After several moments of silence he spoke. His voice was low and dangerous. "The fuck? What did you do?"
"Oh, erm. Had a run in with a vampire." She says before pulling her eyes back onto healing.
"Will you be okay?"
She snorts. It was a silly question.
"Would you care?" She snaps.
Hermione was angry at him. He abandoned her and he thinks he can just come and go as he pleases? completely disregarding her feelings.
"As a matter of fact Granger, I would care. And I do care. I told you to be careful." He says and his face grows angry.
"I will be fine. I'm a healer remember?" She says softly trying not to upset him further.
"But, I told you to be careful. What happened? You don't just get attacked by a vampire in the middle of the street."
"I have been careful." Her voice sounded small now that she had let him know she was angry. "I had to get dittany, and unlike you we don't have money to buy it and I am a known member of the order so I would be taken if I tried to buy it. I could feel something out there so I tried to run but it was too late."
"How did you get away?" His angry face had softened some what.
"I killed it."
For the first time Hermione had realized what actually happened. She realized how close to death she had come. It didn't seem like something that was okay or normal. It felt like a sort of trauma. It was too much, too real.
She was on the verge of tears. Her heart began to pound against her ribs and breathing was hard as she had started to hyperventilate.
The thought that she would have died alone was terrifying. Who knew if she would ever be found?
Her eyelids squeezed shut as she tried to hold back her tears. She did not want to cry in front of him again. What would he think of her?
She wants to punch him. To pound her fists against his body as had as she could. She wanted him to know she was angry. And hurt. He hurt her.
"I need you to leave." She hiccups.
She was ashamed. She had felt something for him and he abandoned her without reason, without warning. He had made her feel something for months on end and then left her.
She felt like an idiot, missing someone who didn't miss her. Aching over someone who was probably snogging as many beautiful women as he liked.
He was an annoying prat. Whenever she wanted to sulk and wallow in self pity he had to show up and humiliate her.
She loathed him, deeply.
He didn't say a word as he watched her heal herself.
His face was still slightly angry. His jaw was tightly clenched.
"Are you safe to leave?" He asks.
Hermione nods her head yes and watches and he turns and leaves without a word.
Once again, abandoning her.