10
Malfoy stood staring down at her. She flushed with embarrassment at the snot on her red face.
"I'm having a moment will you sod off?" She said sniffling back tears.
"You're pissed in my shack. I can stay as long as i'd like." He said.
She stands up abruptly and nearly falls. "I said sod off Malfoy. I fucking hate you. You can't even let me fucking cry in peace. I just wanted to be pissed and cry alone. And then you had to show up and ruin that for me." She was crying again.
"Merlin Granger. What happened to you? Why are you bleeding? What did you do?" His arm slides under her armpit to help guide her. "Stand up."
He looked thoroughly annoyed.
"I'm allowed to be sad. My life is fucked. You're making it worse. You're fucking up my life. Let me be sad about that." Her voice is shaky as she tries to hold back sobs.
With a wave of his wand he fixes the couch she destroyed. He gently sets her down on it.
"I loathe you." She spits at him.
"Good i'm glad our feelings are mutual." he says with his face even more annoyed.
"No. You don't understand. I really hate you." She wipes her face. "I was fine on my own. I have no one. I'm alone. And then you make me swear i'm yours. and you disgust me. I like talking to you because you don't treat me like they do. But you make me feel bad. I hate you."
He didn't speak.
"My friends are going to hate me for what I'm doing. They will hate me." Hermione continues to sob, her body shakes with her force.
"I honestly don't care to hear your sobbing Granger. Be a big girl and wipe your tears." He said coolly as he stared down at her.
"You insisted on getting me on the couch. You're the one who stayed after you saw me crying. You could have just left me here to myself."
A wicked smirk painted his face.
"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't go about saying the dark lords name or doing something to get hurt." He says.
She snorts. "What was it you always tell me? Stop pretending to care I don't want your false pity."
"Who said it was false?" His voice was low and has a hint of warmth to it. It was unfamiliar to her.
Hermione stared at him in disbelief. What did he mean? He doesn't care about her.
"What are you doing tonight?" She asks.
His head cocks to the side and quirks an eyebrow. "I don't have plans. Why?"
"Would you like to get pissed with me? Have you had box wine before?"
He snorts. "Granger I have class. Of course i've never had box wine. Where would someone even get that?"
"Muggle stores. Let's go." Hermione apparates them to the muggle street that she had been only hours before.
They walk into the party store and Malfoys eyes widen.
He walks to the slushy machine and watches as the vibrant colors are turned in circles. "Granger, what is this liquid substance in here?" His eyes are focused on the swirling of the machine.
"It's called a slushy. It's like flavored ice you can drink sorta. The red is cherry and blue is blue raspberry. Here i'll get us some." She pours equal amounts of red and blue into two cups. On their way to the register Hermione snags another box of wine.
The man at the register was a dirty looking bloke. Malfoy was not accustom to seeing muggles working a corner shop in muggle London.
Malfoy watched the man as if he was going to mug him at any given moment. Though, Malfoy was wearing wizarding attire he would look strange to muggles.
"Oi you were in here earlier. Having a party or something?" The man asks with a raspy voice.
"No. We just want to get absolutely tossed tonight. It's been a rough week." Hermione replies. It was the truth.
Hermione payed for their drinks and they walked down the lane to find a place they could apparate without being seen.
"This place is a bit sketchy don't you think Granger? How often do you come here? I'm not so sure it's safe." Malfoy says in a serious tone.
"Only about once a month. It's probably pretty safe. I haven't been stabbed yet." She replied and watches as his head turns to look at her.
"Get is the fuck out of here. It's making my skin crawl."
She laughs.
Once they are back at the shack they sit on the couch facing one another. She hands Malfoy his slushy and watches as he takes a sip. His face scrunches at the sourness.
After his constant slurping of the icy drink Malfoys lips are purple and he clutches his head. "Granger what did you do to me? Did you poison me?"
Hermione bursts out into laughter.
"It's not fucking funny what's wrong with me?"
"It's called a brain freeze. You get them when you drink or eat something cold too fast. You'll be okay in a minute." She says still laughing.
"Why did you come here to drink?" He asks finally.
"I don't really have anywhere else. If I drank at our place everyone would hear my sobbing and then they would talk to me. To be honest I don't want to talk to any of them about my feelings. I just want them to act like i'm still around." She admits.
"Why don't you drink at a pub or something?"
"Ha, and scare off everyone with my sloppy cries? I don't think so. Self pity parties are my jam. I only drink about once a month, well I try to allow myself once a month to cry and sometimes alcohol follows. I'm pretty much by myself most of the time unless i'm working or with you."
They had both finished their slushies now. She filled their slushy cups with wine.
She takes a sip. "I have nightmares. About the people who have died. I cry once a month because of the nightmares and all of the feelings that build up because of work."
Her voice faltered.
"So you're a healer?" He asks slowly, finally putting together the pieces.
She nods her head. "Yes. It's so hard. Watching people you've grown up with come in and die at your hands. It's like you're not smart or quick enough. You blame yourself for their death. Colin. Colin Creevey. He's the worst one. His death hurt the most." She chokes on the last sentence. "He was so young. He didn't deserve what happened. He was the death that made me actually realize this was a war. He made me realize that could be me or my friends."
"What made you want to want to be a healer?"
"I was okay at dueling. But I was better at healing. It came naturally to me. Healing brought me a sense of brightness in the darkest times. Now everything feels dark and tainted. I don't enjoy it anymore. I only see death all around me."
"Where did you learn to heal?" He watched her as she spoke. He took in every word she said.
"Madam Pomfrey Taught me everything about healing. I also read a lot. It took a long time to get where I am. But i'm very useful. I was also trained in potion making, so i'm pretty skilled at that as well." Hermione replies.
"Who taught you potions?"
She smiled. She knew Malfoy was fantastic at potions in school. Severus was Malfoys role model. Malfoy looked at Severus like he was a god. Hermione always noticed Severus was very fond of Malfoy as well.
"Severus. We spent a lot of time together when I wasn't studying healing." She replied.
"Is there anything you can't do other than duel?" He said with a chuckle.
Her lips fold into a hard line. "Lately it feels like I can't do a lot of things."
They sit in silence for several minutes just watching each other.
This felt nice, being able to drink with someone and talk about things.
Malfoy broke the silence.
"I'm not sure about you Granger." He sighs.
Hermione looks at him with confusion. He was very drunk. They had consumed a lot of wine.
"You make me so angry." He blinked slowly at her. "But there's something about you. Even though you piss me off there's something about you that makes me feel another type of way. A way I'm not sure of."
She was frozen at his words. "He's drunk. He's drunk. He's drunk." She repeated it over and over in her head.
"I think I should go." She says trying to leave. But his hand reaches up and grabs her wrist, he pulls her back down.
"Come on. I thought we were bonding. What if I use your name? Hermione." The words were not hurried but he said every syllable correctly and slowly. The word sounded so good in his mouth.
He gets closer to her, nearly closing the space between them. She could feel his heat radiating off of him.
His eyes watched her with admiration. Her heart begins racing. She was scared, but at the same time she wasn't. He confused her.
This was what she needed. His walls were dropping. She had him. Once he was wrapped around her finger she could fully use him.
But she had been vulnerable with him. She had shared things with him.
Who's walls were falling? Who was using who? She didn't know.