7
Hermione's thoughts always drifted back to Malfoys kiss. He did not kiss her because he was in love or deeply desired her, he kissed her to set her off. But even then it was still a kiss. It was sweet, he did not push her farther than just kissing. He was not being sloppy or rushing it. He took his time with it. It was simple. He was good at it.
She assumes he has kissed loads of girls so he's had plenty of practice. He would laugh at her if he knew how many people he had snogged. Hermione had kissed Viktor Krum her fourth year after the yule ball. She had also kissed some random bloke in a bar when she had been completely pissed. There was also Ron.
She had never had sex. Ron and her had tried but he could not figure out how it worked. It was quite embarrassing actually. She told Ginny about the situation and she had laughed so hard she cried. Hermione made Ginny promise not to say anything to her brother about it, she didn't want him to think she was gossiping about his lacking of skills.
Malfoy probably had loads of sex. He was very attractive and good at flirting. Hermione was surprised he wasn't married yet. Maybe he wasn't the marrying type.
Hermione went out in the morning and foraged dittany leaves. Essence of dittany was one of the most useful healing potions there was. There were so many uses for it.
She carefully removed the leaves and placed them in a container safely in her bag.
Hermione felt her galleon burn.
"I want to watch you cum on my fingers."
"Ten minutes." She replied back.
"I want to suck the cum out of your cunt."
Gross.
"Ten minutes and you can touch me or taste whatever part of me you want."
Hermione knew that would make him smirk but it made something inside her turn.
As soon as Hermione had made it into the shack she was hit with a stinging hex to the patella. She felt it instantly start to swell.
"What the FUCK is wrong with you Malfoy!?" Hermione yells while hoping up and down on one leg with her swollen knee wrapped in her arms.
"You don't fight do you? At all?" His head turns to the side slightly. He looks very pleased with himself.
"What the hell does that have to do with you hexing me?"
Malfoy was fucking demented.
"You cannot go out frolicking the country side and not know how to defend yourself."
He has a fair point. Hermione hadn't fought in years. She was slow and her curses were not very strong.
"How long has it been?" He asked, his voice was hard and deadly.
Hermiones eyes drop to the floor. He was going to yell at her. She hated being yelled at, it always made her cry.
"Almost two years." Her voice was childlike.
"Fucks sake." He says and begins rubbing his temples with his hand. He did not speak for several moments.
"Give me the information you have and i'll be gone." She says feeling ashamed. Tears begin prickling her at her waterline.
His hands drop from his head and his shoulders straighten. "You're occlumency training is practically finished. I can spend time getting you in shape for dueling." He says.
She stared back at him in confusion.
"I told you I would not interfere with your work. I am a man of my word." He says with a bow.
Hermione rolls her eyes. "What a fuckin' gentleman."
"I have other activities in mind that could occupy our time here. I'm not sure you would enjoy them though." He says with that stupid Malfoy smirk.
He really truly was a Slytherin at heart. He hadn't changed mentally since school.
"I don't need to learn to fight. I'm never in battle."
"I mean fine, but when you're out cutting leaves off of stems and a vampire comes and bites you or a death eater shows up and rapes you and brings you back to be interrogated and tortured you're going to wish you knew how to fight." He says knowing she couldn't turn it down.
She did need to continue to hold his interest so he would continue supplying information. He had turned out to be very useful.
"Fine." Hermione snapped, her face agitated.
"You look annoyed. You don't enjoy spending time with me? I really truly love hanging out with you." He says making a kissing motion.
"Why did you chose me?" She asked.
"I'm deeply in love with you." He steps closer to her. His head looking down at her.
Hermione laughs audibly.
She watches as he smirks, he knows how ridiculous he is.
"Though I do love the thought of owning you. Even if it is not for very long or a lifetime. Im sure i am going to have so much fun with you. You will regret agreeing to being mine." His voice was low.
Hermione felt a needle like sensation tingle down her spine. Her eyes begin to blur with tears and her cheeks flushed red. She had swore to be his, that was her fault. She had made him mad at her, and it was terrifying. He was so close. She watched his nostrils flare with anger.
"You won't do anything Malfoy. You're all talk. You always have been. You're just a little fucking prat who gets off by making people feel small and uncomfortable. You like picking fights with people who can't fight back. You use things against people. Push it where it hurts. You're fucked in the head. Mental. Absolutely fucking mental just like your fucking daddy." Hermiones voice was filled with rage. Her hands trembled at her side.
The anger on his face slipped away into pure coldness. His usually stormy grey eyes flashed black. His face twisted into a dangerous snarl.
Hermione felt his anger radiating off of him. She began to step back away from him, scared of what he might do to her.
"Get the fuck out." He snaps at her.
But she does not flinch. She stands frozen staring at him in disbelief.
"Get out before I say something I will regret. NOW!" He howled.
Hermiones eyes flood with tears as she turns to run out of the shack.
She collapsed on the floor of her room at Grimmauld and sobbed, still shaking from fear.
She's fucked it up again. The only person who ever treats her like she's human, like she's someone. She's ruined it. He would never forgive her.
How dare she use his father against him? She was just as bad as Malfoy, preying on peoples weaknesses and using it against them.
Why did she do what she did? She couldn't figure it out.
Some part of him, for some odd reason cared about her safety. He had taught her how to be a better occlumens. He was willing to teach her to fight to defend herself. He was protecting her, and she threw it away.
Who was she to play God and judge someone?
She did not know everything we went through, but she knew enough. He did not deserve to be treated like that by someone he was risking it all for.
She was an idiot. Stupid, stupid girl.
As much as she hated to admit it she needed Malfoy. He was necessary to The Order, which made him necessary to her.
Would he ever forgive her? She didn't know. She would do anything.
She curled into a ball on the floor. She could already feel her eyes swelling from the excessive crying. She wanted to calm down, for the burning in her lungs to subside so she could think clearly.
After nearly fifteen minutes of whisper to herself to calm down she could breath without feeling like her lungs were on fire. She wiped her tear stained cheeks.
Hermione took a hot shower. She turned the water to the hottest setting and allowed herself to burn in the water. She felt the stinging of the scalding water on the skin. She deserved the pain. She ruined everything. She should not have let her anxiety get in the way of something so important.
He cared about their relationship. He had warned her to leave before he said things that would hurt. He made sure she knew how to protect herself.
But the thing was, she was already hurting even without him saying the things.
He could have hurt her. Physically. Mentally. But he pushed her away before he got that far. That meant something.
__________________________________
She rubbed her coin. "Can I tongue your cock in ten?"
No answer.
Hermione apparated to the shack. When she walked in she was alone.
They hadn't planned on what to do if they didn't show up.
Was she supposed to wait? She decided she would wait ten minutes and then leave.
She wanted to fix things, to apologize. But she couldn't do that if he wouldn't come.
What would The Order do if they lost him.
There was a loud crack and Malfoy appeared.
He didn't say anything or move. He just stood there scowling at her.
She met his eyes and thanked merlin he showed up.
His eyes left hers and his body tensed.
She inhaled sharply. He was angry, she knew that. But she needed him. She was going to fix this mess she created.
tears began bubbling in her eyes again. "I- I'm s-" She choked on the words, not because it was hard to apologize but because it was hard to speak when you're on the verge of sobbing. "I'm so sorry Malfoy. I don't know what got into me. I'm so fucking sorry. Let me fix this please. I need you. Please let me make this up to you."