Chapter 1
Hermione sits on the lumpy mattress in 12 Grimmauld place holding a copy of Dark Artifacts and Where to Find Them. The trio had no leads on the whereabouts of any of the horcrux other than the ones already destroyed. They were not allowed to discuss the hunt with anyone else in fear of them getting captured and The Dark Lord knowing what they were doing.
The order meetings were pointless and seemed endless. They had no idea when raids would come. They couldn't go to raid the inner circle members as they had no structural plans of their estates. They refused to go in blind, it was too risky now that they had lost some members. They were running out of funding. Food was scarce and so were ingredients for potion making. Severus could keep them stocked on the necessities but couldn't help with more than the bare minimum without raising suspicion.
Hermione had known The Order wouldn't win. They all knew too. Everyone fought for Harry's sake. Winning the war was the only thing he had left, so everyone threw on a mask of optimism to give him a false sense of hope. Hermione pitied him.
Harry had remembered how angry and tainted he felt while wearing the Slytherin locket, and how painful it was to watch Ron treat them badly and abandon them, so he refused to let The Order use any dark magic as he didn't want them or himself to feel how he did with the locket. She wasn't sure how they could possibly win without the use of lethal spells. Stunners and petrifying was the orders go to when in a skirmish, but it didn't stop the highly skilled death eaters from deflecting the spells and sending life threatening ones back.
Hermione suggested using lethal spells, but The Order turned it down every time while treating her like she was implying they join forces with Voldemort. Harry would say that taking the life of another human being wasn't worth it in the end and everyone would have to live with that on their shoulders and he wasn't going to let anyone dirty their hands for him. He didn't realize it, but he was killing them all.
Harry considered The Order to be the light side, and that meant fighting the dark who wanted to kill The Order by any means necessary. She wanted to scream at them all and tell them how stupid they were for not seeing things as they were. They didn't see the things she saw. They didn't have to hold dying kids down as they were screaming for their dead parents. They didn't have to lose a friend and be expected back on shift ten minutes later.
Hermione closed the book and slid it under her mattress. She had to be in the infirmary to check on her patients. She spent most of her days there treating nasty curses that she really didn't know if she could fix.
As she walks into the hospital ward at pinner safehouse she sees dozens of severely injured people. Most of which she had been friends with growing up.
Hannah Abbot lay on a cot. She had been hit with a fast-acting necrosis curse on her ribcage. She was apparated back in time. Hermione had been able to cut out the skin and the few ribs that were infected and regrow them and the skin. She would have a nasty scar but at least she would live. There was no counter curse for necrosis so the only thing they could do was cut it out and hope for the best. The curse would start to kill all of the living cells it hit, and then it would spread. Fast. Eating away at your skin and bones and even organs. It was very painful. She could still hear Hannah's screams as she was cutting it out. Hannah bad been given Draught of Living death so she couldn't feel the pain of her re-growing bones and skin.
Seamus Finnegan had been crucio'd repeatedly. His body was twitching and jerking for days. Hermione didn't know if he would ever be able to gain complete control over his hands again. Repeatedly getting crucio'd gave symptoms that resembles a mild case of a muggle condition called Parkinson's disease. The body will shake uncontrollably among other symptoms. She poured a pain reliving potion down his throat and tapped pressure points on his hands with her wand, it would relax his muscles and she would gently massage his hands with her fingers.
There were so many injured members here, but most were sleeping or those that could talk were conversating with a friend or family member. Hermine sits while rubbing Seamus's hand. She heard heavy footsteps approaching behind her, and they cleared their throat.
"Granger. Meeting." It was Kingsley.
They didn't have a meeting until tomorrow. Had something happened? If something happened, they would need her here to assist Pomfrey in treating patients. She followed him down the hall. Her chest beating rapidly against her ribcage and her mind racing. Was Harry okay? She couldn't stop running through every possible scenario.
He had walked them into a small room. He shut the door behind them and cast a few spells to ensure their privacy. There was no one else in the room. Not an Order meeting, Was she in trouble? He surveyed the room one last time. Usually, Kingsley was very good at hiding his emotions, right now he seemed very anxious and tense. This had to be serious.
He looked a bit scared the way his brows were furrowed, and his lips were in a hard line.
"How far would you go for Harry?" He finally says.
What kind of question is that? Was he questioning her fidelity to Harry or The Order? "I would give my life." Hermione says in a hostile tone. "Are you questioning my devotion to The Order?"
"No. We're losing, Hermione." He admits shamefully. Hes the first person to acknowledge that. Hermione nods her head in agreement. "We have someone from the other side willing to give us information." Kingsley says slowly.
"Like a spy?" She asks and watches as he nods. "Does anyone else know? Does Harry know?"
"Only Mad-Eye, Tonks, Severus and myself. No Potter can't know. This has to stay between us." He says while studying her face.
Hermione had never had to keep anything from harry before. "Why are you telling this to me?" She watches his head drop.
"Severus knows were losing and that he can only give us information pertaining to curses and their counters. He swears the spy is turning for good reasons." Her eyes stare intently at him still waiting for him to answer her question. "He is willing to give information in return for." His voice catches and he stops. He closes his eyes and inhales. "You."
Hermione's stomach churns. She feels like she could throw up right now. Her body is frozen staring at him, still registering what he has just said. She opens her mouth to speak but can't find the words.
"Who?" Her voice sounds so small.
"The Malfoy boy. Severus says Hes trying to turn sides to save himself and his mum."
His name would pop up every once in a while. She had heard he had been climbing ranks since Dumbledore's death. If his rank is high enough, he could have very valuable information The Order could use. They could save Harry. Her brain was a hot mess, constantly switching in-between thoughts over and over again. She could burst.
"Granger, I can't make you do anything. But the order needs this. This could change our outcome." He says ambivalently.
She doesn't have a choice.
"Okay. I'm in. But he has to work around my schedule. I have duties to fulfill." Once again, her words sound small. Almost childlike.
He nods his head in acknowledgement. "I'll send word." He removes the spells on the room and disappears. Leaving her to her thoughts. Her body felt sick. She felt heavier, like someone had placed something large on her shoulders. She felt the tears prickling at her eyes, but for the first time in a while, Hermione felt hopeful. She couldn't remember the last time she felt hopeful. Maybe when they destroyed the locket. She remembered how things had felt then. She had thought destroying and finding the Horcrux's would be easy and quick. They would find them and destroy them which would end him. Every time one was destroyed, he got weaker. But they were wrong. This wasn't easy. The war continued, and it eats away at everyone. Leaving them small and frail.
She could aid in saving The Order. She could put herself to use by doing this one thing. She had to.
Malfoy had things they needed. He knew what he was doing. He had leverage that they needed. He had known she wouldn't choose herself over everyone else. He was already using her.
Why? Why her? He hated her in school. Always tormenting her. He was the first boy she cried over. He caused her so many nights of tears. So why her?
He told Kingsley it was to save himself and his mother. But why turn now? What had happened to finally put this switch in motion? Was it revenge? Or was there something Hermione was missing? Was he going to be using her to get to The Order? None of this gave her an answer, only raised more.
Hermione shoved the thoughts away and returned back to work twelve hours. When it came time for her to take her thirty minutes she refused, feeling too sick to even think of food.
She apparated back to Grimmuald. Most of The Order were sleeping. She copied reports The Order had stored about Voldemort and his followers. Voldemort was rigorous with training. They knew he was fond of the Cruciatus. He used it even on his inner circle members who were all mostly from the first war. None of them cared about the wellbeing of one another. They wanted to climb ranks and would take out anyone in their way.
How would Hermione know this wasn't a plan to grow higher in his ranking. But, The Order trusted Severus, and Severus believed Malfoys intentions were as he said.
She didn't know what to think, but she knew she needed sleep.
AN pt.2: I hope you enjoy this fic. I got the idea for the pressure points for the Cruciaus from the lovely- Senlinyu in Manacled.