He had been feeling icky for an entire week beforehand. It was going to be a bad moon, he could tell.
Remus woke up in the garage, the room spelled heavily by his father. It was the only place he could stay during his transformations. Their house didnt have a cellar nor an attic. Hope had begged remus’ father to let the boy stay in the garage instead of sending him to the ministry. After the father had lost his job, the family was struggling financially. They were kicked out of the house and forced to move here, to this place. It was remus’ first transformation in this new place, and the wolf noticed too, making it angrier.
Hi entire body was hurting, after his skin had been ripped and his bones broken. He heard a faint cry, his mothers cry, before he passed out again.
Remus woke up in his bed, his mother was sitting over him, looking frustrated and upset. “Mama?” He uttered, not feeling like opening his eyes quite yet. “Oh remus, im so, so sorry.” She cried while stroking the back of his hand. “What?” Remus asked, confused of what she was sorry for. “‘M so sorry, i can’t do anything more. Your father tried but-“ she hulked back her tears. First now, remus opened his eyes. It hurt. But only in one eye.
“What’s it?” Remus asked slurring his words. It felt like one of his eyes had sand in it, but worse, more like shattered glass.
He sat up, groaning at his back pain from the re-shaping of his bones. She held up a mirror, remus chocked. An angry, red scar slashing his face. The claw mark went all the way from right above his right eyebrow and to his jaw, on Th either side of his face. His entire face was cover in one big, extremely visible scar. It was somewhat healed, but his father being the only other magical being in this house, and also not being particularly good at healing spells, it wasn’t good. Most of the healing was done by his mother, his muggle mother.
Her hands were shaking as she held the mirror. Remus tried to grab it, so he could look closer at himself. He didnt know why he wanted to see his destroyed face closer but it was like instinct. His left eye was slashed along with his face, remus dared to open it for a second longer only to realize that he could not see on it.
It was September, the morning before remus would be going back to Hogwarts to start his fourth year. He was staring at himself in the mirror above the sink. His biggest insecurity, plastered onto his face with bruisings around from when his father had realized that remus would not be able to hide his lycanthropy as well as before. That now, anyone who though deeper into it would be able to find out about remus’ deepest darkes secret.
He wanted to stay inside forever, he had asked his mother if he could do just that. Once the cuts had healed and the scars had formed. And the lack of sight on his left eye, leaving him without any dept in his vision. He wanted to cover himself. Really he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But his mother didnt own an makeup, which was his first resolution. So he just had to go with the second best.
Remus walked into the platform, wearing a hooded sweater. Nobody there paid him any mind but he still felt like all eyes were on him. He felt like they all knew his secret. One foot in front of the other, he though as he stumbled his way through the train, trying to find the compartment that his friends were in.
When he spottet he mop of black hair he immediately knew he was there. Remus reached for the handle but missed it the first time. He’d thought i was closer. Damn this.
He secound he set foot in the compartment, all the laughter and jkong that was coming from the three boys inside died down as they looked at him. Remus shrunk on himslef, standing akwardly it the doorway, trying not to faint.
when no one said anything, just stared, he dropped his stuff on the floor and turned. He was about to walk away, spend the ride on his own, but a hand grabbed his shoulder, Turing him around. “where do you think you’re going?” Sirius asked and dragged the boy into the compartment.
Remus’ eyes were trained on the floor, still subconsciously trying to hide himself. “What wrong?” Sirius asked, and touched remus’ arm. Remus wasnt feeling very touchy, so he pulled slightly away, sirius got the hint and dropped his arm. Remus looked up into the eyes of his friend. “Everyone will know.” He whispered, scared.
Sirius opened his arms, inviting remus to a hug. Only if he wanted to, and it seemed he did, because remus hugged him.
“It’ll be alright, we love you, I love you.” He whispered in remus’ ear, putting emphasis on ‘I’
He said it would be fine, and maybe it would, or maybe it wouldn’t.