Chapter 4
Regulus woke up to a really strong headache. His vision wasn’t clear and he felt dizzy. Where was he? Is he dead? For a second he hoped he’s dead, but mentaly slapped himself just a second after. “You can’t think that Regulus! Don’t be a selfish bitch!” he tought to himself while actually trying to see something.He closed his eyes again, because his head started to hurt even more.
“Am I dead?” he decided to call out loud after seconds of more dizzyness and unclear sight. He heard a light giggle come from his left. “You aren’t dead, you idiot. You just passed out on the street. That’s what they told me at least.” Regulus recognised the voice immediately. “Pandora! How did you get here? Where even is here? And why the fuck does my head hurt like this?” Regulus asked desperate for answers.
He heared Pandora move her chair closer to his bed and shortly after she started talking. “Well, first of all, we’re in a hospital. Second of all I’m here because I was the first person in your emergency contacts. And your head hurts because, as I already told you, you passed out on the street. When I got here, there was this guy with glassen who was reeealy stressed by the whole situation. Who was that, do you know him?”
“Yep, James Potter, the glasses guy, the one and only James fucking Potter who just had to find me laying in the park while I was really damn high and decided it was a good idea to talk to me” Regulus sighed while burrieing his head into his hands.
”He gave me, well not me, you, but you were, you know, unconcious and he told me to give his number to you and that you sholud text him when you wake up so that he knows you are alive and he didn’t kill you. Oh and he also says sorry” Pandora finished, glad that she remembered everything glasses-guy, or James Potter as she now knew, told her.
Regulus covered his face with his hands while shakeing his head. “Idiot” he murmured under his breath.
“We think that the reason why you passed out, is the amount of strees thaat was on you, the amount of drugs in your body, the confusion in your brain by the events of that night and that you decided to run at full speed and then suddenly stopped, which is alone, whitout all those other effects, kinda dangerous” the old doctor explained to Regulus and Pandora who was sitting next to him. The doctor, Madam Pomfrey, got up from behind her desk and strated searching in some files. She took out a couple of papers and started organiseing them.
Pandora and Regulus looked at eachother. The doctor had been talking to them for like a hour and they were kind of tired of listening to why Regulus shouldn’t use drugs, what he cold do to be less stressed and how god damn dangerous this all was. “So, can- can we leave now?” Pandora asked after a couple of seconds while gestureing towards the door. “Oh, yes! Sorry dear” the doctor smiled at them before going back to her paperwork.
After Regulus and Pandora exited her office, Pandora spoke up first. “You know, you should text him” she said while looking up at the cealing. “What?” Regulus asked in confusion, his head still not fully healed. “Glasses guy, you should text him that you’re alive and he didn’t kill you, you know. He sounded propper worried” she laughed quietly. “Okey good, I’ll- I’ll text him. Maybe” Regulus scratced the back of his head while looking away. “No you text him now!” Pandora said firmly “Do you now how worried he was? He tought he killed you, Reg!” She shook her head and added “If you won’t text him, I will”
Regulus looked down and then up at Pandora. “Fine, fine! Just- leave me alone” he huffed and walked towards the waiting area to sit down.
Hello James, just wanted to let you know I didn’t die. -Regulus A. Black
He typed out. His thb howered over the send button but he didn’t press it right away. He re-read the message a third time. The he decided to just ‘okey, fuck sake Regulus, don’t be such a baby’ and pressed send.
Unknown number: Hello James, just wanted to let you know I didn’t die.- Regulus A. Black
The text on James’s phone read. James was at uni, but as soon as his phone buzzed he lokked at it straight away, hopeing it was Regulus and that he was okay. He let out a relieved breath and quicly put his phone away. He was so glad he didn’t kill Regulus. Well, he somehow knew that he didn’t KILL Regulus but you can never be sure.
After all his lectures were done, James was walking out of the building at a slow speed. Even tho he was walking so slowly, he bumped into someone on the way out. “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking-“ he started to explaine himself but the other person cut him off. “James! It’s so good to see you!” Marlene exclaimed as she threw her arms around James’s shoulder. “Marlene! Oh my, it’s been so long!” He answered, hugging hrr back. “Dorcas and I are headed to the bar Sirius works at. To, you know, get to know the bar that we will be going to on a regular basis. Do you want to join us?” She chatted while they walked towards the bus stop.
James nodded but his mind was on something else. Or someone else. He was infact, thinking of Rgulus Black. Because Regulus’s university was right opposite of The Moons Bar. What were the odds, that Regulus and Sirius might run into eachother someday in the not so distant future, he asked himself.
Marlene rambled about the most random things on the way to the bar, and James really enjoyed her company. He totaly forgot about the Sirius-Regulus situation. Well that was until he spotted his best friend behind the counter of the bar.
“Oi, Prongs!” Sirius called out to him as they entered. Sirius was grinning widely at them, next to him, Remus was wearing a rather tired expression. “Pleas, get him away from me, he has been working here for less than a week but I’m already tired!” He said, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don’t say that Monny, you are glad I’m here!” Sirius said and threw one of his arms around Remus’s shoulder.
“Moony? How did you come up with that one Padfoot?” James asked as he sat down on one of the barstools. He really liked nicknames, the names Prongs and Padfoot were the perfect example for that. They had another friend whit a really unique nickname, Wormtail. But Wormtail, also known as Peter, moved away because of university but they still managed to keep in contact.
”Wait, do you give everyone wierd names?” Remus asked looking at James and Sirius. “Well not everyone, but our cl-“ James began to explaine, when suddenly the door bursted open and in came… Regulus Black.
Regulus was looking at the ground, so he didn’t see his brother and said brothers friends by the counter. “Remus, I really-“ he looked up and froze. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him. He looked at Sirius who was starting back at him with the same wide-eyed expression. Then suddenly Regulus turned around and speed-walked out of the bar.
Everyone stood in shock for a second, Remus was the first one to get back to his senses. “Regulus wait for me!” He exclaimed as he sprinted after the younger Black. He pushed the door open with a little more force than needed, as soon as he was out on the cold street, he started to look for Regulus. Remus spotted him just in time before he wanished on the corner towards the park. He started running after Regulus, he didn’t care that his knee hurt like hell or that he was going to have to explaine himself to Sirius and the others. No, Regulus was one of his closest friends and Remus always helped his friends.
He managed to catch up with Regulus just before he entered the park. “Re- Regulus… wait, I- I..” he huffed as he rested his hands on his knees. Truth was, Remus’s health conditions weren’t the best. He was in a hospital multiple times because of his bad knee and his lungs.
“Remus! Oh my god, why did you run? You know this isn’t good for you!” Regulus exclaimed while supporting Remus from his right side, the side of his bad knee. “I- I, oh gosh I shouldn’t have ran this fast” Remus breathed out after him and Regulus sat down on a bench. “Why were you running after me in the first place? You looked like you had plenty of fun with my brother and his friends” Regulus said, not in a mean, but a sad tone.
“Regulus, listen, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you that your brother is working at the bar, but honestly, I was just scared for your emotional health. And I ran after you vecause you are one if the closest and only friends I have, yes I’ve known James for a bit but that doesn’t automaticaly make Sirius my friend too! You are my friend, and you need help right now, I can see it” Remus rambled while looking at Regulus.
Regulus whiped a tear from his cheek, he was glad that he had so mich self controle and didn’t start crying before he entered the bar. The last thing he needed right now, was to meet his brother after so many years. He was thankful that Sirius didn’t saw him cry.
“Tell me Regulus, what happened?” Remus asked quietly after a short silence. “I don’t know how to explaine this, it is all just… to much! I can handle all the bad looks, the whispering, the threats but I somehow also can’t. I hold my emotions inside me and after doing it for so long I start to question if they are real. My anxiety is getting worse, I feel like I don’t belong into this world, I sometimes have to run out of a lesson and lock myself into the toilet calm my panic attacks. I don’t want to go rehad or the hospital or any place like that, I just want to be normal. And there is so much more, but I can’t put that into words” at the end of his ramble he was crying and holning onto Remus’s sweather.
Remus knew that Regulus wasn’t a person for touching, so when he hugged him, he payed attention to keeping it a light, one side hug. To his surprise, Regulus hugged him back.
Sirius was starring at the door in shock. His brother, his little brother Regulus had just walked in with tears in his eyes, searching for Remus and walked right back out when he saw him. Regulus had been crying. Sirius didn’t know Regulus was still capable of showing such emotions, but it looked like he did.
Sirius wanted to ignore the fact that his brother looked way to thin for his height, way to tired with purple circles under his eyes and a way too sad expression for someone in his situation. Then he realised he didn’t know what situation Regulus was in. After all, he came in crying, seatching for Remus and Remus has just run out after him. Sirius didn’t know anything about his little brothers life.
“Mate, you okey there? You have been starring at the door for at least three minutes now.” James’s voice brought him back to reality. “He was crying James, did you see? I don’t understand, mother always teached us not to show any emotions, I tought after liveing with her for so long he doesn’t have any emotions left” Sirius started to ramble but was caught off guard by James’s questioning expression. “You, you don’t know?” he asked?
“What do I not know?” Sirius questioned with slight concern. “Regulus doesn’t live with Walnurga anymore, he cut all ties with the family.” James explained and when he saw Siriuses expression he quickly added “I know this because when I was here to get you a job he walked in and kind of told me when I asked about the family”
Sirius stared at him in horror. “So you knew and didn’t tell me? What were you even thinking? You know how important my brother is to me even tho I act like I don’t care, you know!” Sirius exclaimed throwing his hands up in frustration. “I’m so sor-“ James started but Sirius interrupted him. “Cut the crap, James. I, I can’t whit this right now” he said as he walked out of the bar. “I’m headed back to the flat. Pleas give me a little time” he said on his way out.
James was left standing in shock. “Sooo… what are you gonna do now?” Marlene asked from beside him. James had totaly forgotten that her and Dorcas were there too. “I think I…” he trailed off “bye Dorcas, bye Marlene! I have to go somewhere!” He suddenly exclaimed as he ran out of the bar.
He had to talk to Regulus.