Proximity
H
It’s loud again. Louder than sober thoughts. It never goes quiet. Except when he’s playing the guitar.
That’s his home.
But that doesn’t mean it always was. She used to be his home. His “quiet”. His peace. Her eyes made the world stop. Her touch made his shoulders fall.
But he burned his home down. He helped people from afar, but hurt those closest to him.
Why does he keep doing this to people?
**********
W
It’s quiet. Quieter than drunk thoughts. It’s hot here, yet he shivers. He hates this apartment.
It’s not his home.
He’s never really found a home. Jumping from woman to woman. Job to job. Place to place. Nowhere has he fit.
He has the fire in his hands but with no home to burn. By holding it for so long he gets burned himself.
Why does he keep doing this to himself?
***************
H
His eyes track her mouth. The movement of her hands and hips.
“Team, I have news.”
Even the words she mutters are perfect.
“An investor has been interested in your music for a while now. The company manager wants to meet you and possibly fund the next tour.”
Stacey is excited. She tries to hide it, but House knows her well. Too well.
“You need to make a good first impression.” Her eyes glance up at House who is leaning on the wall smoking a cigarette.
“Why are you looking at me?!” He sounds defensive.
She looks him up and down one eyebrow lifted.
“You know exactly why.”
She turns on her heel after throwing a glance at the rest of the band. Her face makes a ‘Keep him under control’ kind of look. Why won’t she look at him this way?
*******************
W
House and Wilson have become good friends over the last month. Going out to drinks, walking/driving the more drunk one home. Texting nonstop, even when they were supposed to be working. So, Wilson wasn’t surprised when his phone buzzed off and a notification from House lit up his screen.
• ♦ H: Wanna come to band practice?
•
• ♦ W: I have a job you know?
•
• ♦ H: Right, you’re paying for drinks tomorrow.
•
• ♦ W: How long is your band practice?
•
• ♦ H: Till 8
•
• ♦ H: But I never stay the whole time.
•
• ♦ W: Well, stay I'll be there in an hour.
•
• ♦ H: fuck off
•
• ♦ W: I'm still coming, you can’t revoke an invite.
•
• ♦ H: Sure I can I’ll tell them to not let you in.
•
• ♦ W: See you, House
•
• ♦ H: See you, Wilson.
•
His eyes shift to the other end of the screen and all you can hear once again and just keyboard clicks, pens gliding across paper and a char screeching.
45minutes. A new record.
Whatever,
he’s done for today.
***********************
H
The bassist is still tunning his guitar. Everyone else is practicing on their own bit while House is playing with a yoyo. His eyes are locked at Stacey. She’s on the phone, probably with that new investor. God he’s dreading that meeting.
“House it would be helpful if you actually practiced something.”
“I will as soon as Chase finishes tunning that stupid thing.”
“Hey ‘that stupid thing’ is what pays our bills so-”
“Yeah, yeah less talking more tunning.”
“FYI I’m done so let’s start.”
House doesn’t say anything. He grabs his guitar, eyes still locked at Stacey, still talking on the phone. Hm.
He plays the first tune.
Wilson walks in.
God this guy has such terrible timing.
“Hey! Sorry continue I’ll just sit over there.”, he says pointing to the couch with his chin.
The other band members take a look at him. They obviously know who he is. They know House has a friend, but a part of them didn’t believe it. How could someone (Other than them of course) put up with his bullshit?
Foreman starts with the drums and House joins in.
******************************
W
It doesn’t take much. To cover up small cuts.
Damn they are good. He just wishes he could remember more of the night of the concert.
Hid’ neath’ the bandages. Under her sleeve.
His eyes are tracing him. Him and only him.
Is it possible to get nostalgia from a month before?
She just wants attention. We all want attention.
Looking at House was one thing. Looking at him playing the guitar so closely was another. But looking at him completely sober...
She just wants it more than. She’d have you believe.
But House wasn’t looking at him.
Goodnight,
Sleep tight.
Don't let anyone bite. She will leave you deaf and bewildered.
He was looking at Stacey. Wilson obviously knew he still had feelings for her, despite him denying it. But he never had that look on his face. Not even when he was playing the guitar.
Why won't he look at him that way?
Oh, how she floats like a butterfly. Stings like a killer.
Wait. What is he thinking. Whatever he’s just over tired. He doesn’t mean that. Totally. Why would he want House to look at him? In fact, he doesn't want House to look at him. And just to clarify he does want him to look at him but as a friend not like that I mean, ha, why on earth would he, James Wilson, want him, Gregory House, to look at him like that.
*********************
H
All of the good kids, will darken their eyelids. Cover in make-up. And uncomfortable dresses.
She’s smiling. House hasn’t seen Stacey with this smile since...
They just want attention. We all want attention.
This investor guy has her looking happy.
He obviously does want her to be happy. But not with someone. With him.
A beautiful kiss and a sin to confess.
He’s selfish. It’s a curse. It follows him around with every person he’s loved.
It doesn’t take much, to cover up small cuts. Hid’ ‘neath the bandages.
Under
Her
Sleeves.
It’s happening again. The same shadow he’s had on him. He just can’t tell with whom.
Stacey isn’t his. He knows that. Is the curse leading him to her? Or is possessiveness a new symptom provoked by someone new. Perhaps whom Stacey is talking to?
The explanation doesn’t quite fit.
He chooses to ignore.
*****************
W
With every smile he throws at him, with eyes of concern and words said with love, he notices him loose interest.
“House?”
“Hm? Yeah?”
*************
H
His focus shifts back down to Wilson. Then to where he is and that he hasn’t been listening.
“Are you listening?”
House has heard those words before. He never tells white lies to protect others feelings. Only his.
“Nope! Who’s Stacey talking to?”
“Uh no idea I don’t really know her. I came here because you-”
“Yeah, yeah whatever. I have to go find out.”
He limped away from Wilson. Left him standing alone, where he practically didn’t know anyone.
*******************
W
Why did he even come here. House probably just invited him out of pity. Or maybe he meant it as a joke, like most of the things he says.
He shouldn’t have come here.
House just wanted to talk to Stacey.
But why doesn't he want to talk to him?
Stop. You’re out of your mind Wilson. Obviously, he’ll want to talk to the woman he loves more than with you. Just stop thinking.
************
H
As he listens to Stacey talk it's like a stab in the stomach. Deep down House knew he was desperate. But he also knew that eventually she would come back to him. He just didn’t know if he felt bad now.
She never should have been with him.
He shouldn’t have let her be with him.
But why did let this happen?
He will never forgive himself for letting his curse slip into her. She’s the only one who’s ever going to make him feel emotion.