Antici...pation

Remus’s back hit cool brick as he stepped outside, finally released from a seven-hour shift at the grocery store. He fumbled in his back pocket for a cigarette, and deftly lit it before taking a draw. 

He was sheltered by a small cavity in the rows of buildings, which was perfect, because a soft trickle of rain was starting to fall. Peculiarly dressed people with umbrellas were hurrying into a queue for the theater two buildings down. Remus frowned at them, cigarette hanging between his teeth. Who wore nothing but garters and fishnets in the middle of October?! 

A figure in a cloak stepped out of a side door, looking both directions like a watchful cat. He didn’t have an umbrella, and Remus observed rainwater sink into his hood. 

The figure was approaching his cavity, which Remus didn’t appreciate. He stepped back cautiously, sucking in his smoke in favor of exhaling. 

The man looked like he was about to step into the crevice, but saw Remus. He jumped slightly, alarmed. 

“You’re in my nook.”

Remus was taken aback. “As far as I’m aware, this is Royal Supermarket's ‘nook’.” 

The man looked amused. “Well, bug over, wouldn’t you? There’s room enough for two.”

Remus moved over, and the man took his hood off. Remus almost choked on the draw he had just taken. 

The man - god - deity - whatever he was, was beautiful. Black curls fell to his shoulders like a riptide, and in the pale light of the streetlamp, Remus could see his harsh jawline, peppered with unshaven hair. Rain from his hood dripped down his aquiline nose like a waterfall. Remus felt like an apostle, looking into the eyes of God. 

“You’re staring,” God told him, with a sideways grin. 

“I suppose I am,” Remus agreed, flushed. 

“Do you mind?” He pointed at Remus’s cigarette, which he handed over quickly. 

The man took a draw, exhaling with a smile. “Thank you. I would get my own, but I left them backstage. Don’t quite fancy going back in the rain, if you know what I mean.”

A performer, of some sort, Remus thought. From the theater. If I had known he was going to be on stage, I would have joined the queue in a heartbeat. 

“You’re an actor?” He heard himself say. 

“Well spotted.” 

“In what?” Remus said. 

“I’ll give you a hint,” the man said. He lifted his cloak slightly to reveal a tight corset. Remus felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was wearing heels that must have been 6 inches tall, but he only had about 3 inches on Remus. Fishnets crawled the length of his legs. 

“Erm- I’m going to need more of a hint.” He said. In what type of play was one required to dress like a stripper? 

“Look at the sign, Boy Genius.” The man snorted. A building away, the letters Rocky Horror Picture Show were illuminated in the marquee. Underneath: starring Sirius Black. 

“Sirius Black.” Remus said it like a prayer. 

The man (Sirius?) looked at him with a lipstick-smudged grin. “Yes?”

“I think I’m going to have to buy tickets to this play of yours,” Remus said. 

Sirius looked at him with a kind of amused affection, glancing out at the massive queue. “Don’t bother.” He said. “Come with me!” He grabbed Remus’s hand, and they slipped through the door Sirius had emerged from. Remus’s heart was going a thousand times per second as he let himself be lead through velvet-carpeted floors, by a man he had met merely three minutes ago. 

“Wait! Wait!” He stopped, tugging on Sirius’s hand, the other man hovered over him, still feverishly grinning. His smile was intoxicating. “I’m not going to sneak in here without paying!” He protested.

“Shut up,” Sirius waved him off. “Consider it payback for letting me use Royal Supermarket's nook.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Remus muttered. 

“I’ve been told!”

Sirius led him down a flight of narrow stairs, that opened into a huge auditorium. The standing section was already full of dancing bodies, heat emanating in waves from the crowd. People sat at fancy, rounded tables on the floor above them, drinking and eating and talking in merriment. Monster mash was playing over loudspeakers. 

Sirius pulled him to a corridor that must have led backstage. “Don’t want people seeing me,” he explained. “Do you want to join the audience? I’d offer you a spot backstage, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t be very fun for you.” 

Remus, too stunned at his sudden fortune, just nodded. 

“Right! My friends, Lily and James, are already out there. You can join them if you’d like.” Sirius pointed to where a freckly redhead and a boy in underwear and a wifebeater were doing the twist. 

Remus laughed. “Alright.”

An angry blonde woman poked her head out of the door. “For God’s sake, Black! We’re on in 10 minutes! Who- who is this?!” 

“This is- sorry, I didn’t catch your name-?”

“Remus,” Remus supplied. 

“Christ, that’s sexy,” Sirius screwed up his face, clearly torn between the blonde woman and him. 

“Black!” The woman warned.

“Fine, fine, alright!” Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned back to Remus. “I’ll find you after the show, I promise.” 

“Oh, you really don’t have to-“

“Shut up,” Sirius said, looking into his eyes hungrily. “Kiss for good luck?” 

All Remus could do was nod. Sirius pressed their lips together, and they shared a greedy breath of air, nerve endings aflame. Sirius broke away, and ran off. 

Remus, thoroughly astounded by the events of that night, could only look after him, fingers touching the place where Sirius’s lips had just been. Deep red lipstick was smeared on his mouth. 

He felt someone tap his shoulder. He swiveled, to be faced with a bright-faced man. He smiled at Remus through messy black curls. 

“Hello, my name is James Potter, and I’m reaching out as a member of T.A.B.S.B.C, The Accosted By Sirius Black Committee. Have you been accosted by Sirius Black? We’re here to help!”

He said it like an automated voicemail. Remus couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I can assure you, I’m alright.” He chuckled. “It was quite reciprocated.”

“Or is that what he told you to say?!” The redheaded girl, who must have been Lily, stepped out from behind James, a playful finger pointed. 

James smiled at her. “Honey. I think the ruse is over.”

Lily sighed. “Right when I got into it.” 

“We’re not really with T.A.B.S.B.C,” James said apologetically. 

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I figured.”

“So?” Lily prompted. “How do you know Sirius?”

“I don’t,” Remus blinked, helplessly. “I met him… um… about five minutes ago. I- I just got off work!” 

James sighed. “Of course you did, you poor, lost soul.”

“Have you ever been to Rocky?” Lily asked. 

“Never,” Remus shook his head. 

“Hm,” James slung an arm around his shoulder. “You’re a Virgin, eh?” 

Remus looked stricken. “No! What?” 

Lily giggled. “He doesn’t mean sexually. He means you’ve never seen the show.”

“Oh, I suppose,” Remus chewed on the inside of his lip. “Is that bad?”

James grinned devilishly. “Not at all, mate. Not at all.”

***

Very soon, Remus found himself dead-center of the crowd, just a little ways from the stage, with a V painted on his forehead in red marker. It had taken coercion to get to this point. 

Lily and James were on either side of him, perpetually friendly, chattering away rapidly. Remus, to his own surprise, was actually enjoying their company quite a bit, and liked the friendly banter included in their relationship. Most couples he knew who had been together for a few years (three, as Lily had clarified) had lost that playful spark. It was nice. 

Soon, however, the chandeliers above them dimmed and the music came to a dramatic halt. Everyone quieted in suspense. 

Sirius stepped out on the stage, his cloak draped over his body, tendrils of dark hair fell loosely around his face. 

“Hello, London.” He whispered, flicking the hood off his face. 

The crowd went wild. He held a hand to his lips, effectively silencing all. 

“I would like to, if I may… take you on a strange journey. But! There is sacrifice involved.”

“Virgins!” The audience bellowed. Oh no, thought Remus.

“Precisely!“ Sirius held up a dramatic hand. “But who to choose?”

Many girls, with V’s akin to Remus’s screamed and raised their hands. Sirius grinned at them. 

“We have many volunteers, I see. But what fun is that?” His gaze shifted to Remus, who shook his head violently. People in the crowd turned to look at him. 

“Don’t hide, sweetheart.” Sirius drawled, putting on the part. “Come and play!” 

Remus, who, in any other circumstances would have done anything Sirius told him to, was vehemently against the idea of being on stage in front of at least a hundred people. 

“Come on…”

James pushed him forward with an evil smile. He knew this was going to happen. Remus glared at him. 

The other audience members cheered him on, and suddenly Remus was being driven by a sea of people all the way up the stairs. 

He looked out, sheepishly. The spotlight was glaring in his eyes, and he was starkly aware that he was the only one there dressed in jeans and a sweater. Which wasn’t his fault, technically! 

A black-clad arm presented a wooden chair onto the stage, and was gone as fast as it appeared. 

“Have a seat, won’t you?” Sirius smirked. “As a treasured guest, of course…” 

Remus sat down, hands shaking. 

“Introduce yourself, baby.”

His cheeks were aflame. Remus would never recover from this fever dream of a night. “Remus, Remus Lupin.”

“Ah! An incredibly sexy name - but I’m sure you’ve heard that before.” Sirius winked at him, a secret only they knew. “Say, Remus, I think it might be time to de-virginize you.” He turned back to the audience. “Don’t you agree?”

The screams were completely, totally, utterly deafening. Remus could make out the figures of James and Lily whooping. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sirius grinned, making a show of taking off his cloak. It was nothing Remus hadn’t seen the first time - the boy was all legs, a lean torso, strong arms with odd tattoos scattered along them. Remus tried to avert his eyes from the more… sensual… parts of Sirius’s getup. Music was coming from somewhere Remus didn’t know. 

Sirius strode over to where he sat, a mischievous gleam in his eye. He knelt over Remus, who felt like his heart might grow wheels and drive away.

Unbeknownst to the audience, Sirius whispered in his ear, gently. “You okay with this?” 

Remus took a chance and pulled the other man into his lap. “I’d be a fool not to be,” he said. 

People cheered as Sirius danced in his lap, garter-clad legs skillfully wrapped around his own. Remus was at a loss for words (and breath), but was unable to stop smiling.

Sirius locked eyes with him provocatively. In the previous darkness, Remus had thought his eyes were some shade of brown - but oh, how wrong he had been. Sirius’s eyes, shaded by long lashes and dark makeup, were a heavenly shade of grey, speckled in some places with blue or hazel. Remus found himself lost - not in the sexuality of the dance, nor the wolf-whistles of the crowd - but in those eyes. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. 

Sirius ended the lap dance with a dramatic split and a heartbreaking wink in the audience’s direction. A stagehand ushered a completely flustered Remus off the stage, along with the chair. 

“You did great,” the stagehand - a stringy young man - told him. “The show’ll be on in maybe three more minutes, in case you want to kip off to the bathrooms or something of the sort…” He glanced down. 

“No! God, no!” Remus felt his cheeks heat up, and he pulled his sweater down as far as it could go. He would let himself suffer, until tonight. 

“It’s fine,” the boy shrugged. “Happens almost every time he does the sacrifice on a man.”

“Okay,” Remus stuttered, embarrassed, and promptly took off down the back hall to get back to the audience. 

Luckily, no one was staring at him when he emerged. They were all fixated on Sirius - rightfully so - who was riling up the crowd in his commanding, expressive voice. 

Remus squeezed his way back to Lily and James, who clapped him on the back enthusiastically. With a final gasp from the audience, Sirius disappeared and a giant pair of lips appeared on the bigscreen. 

“Micheal Rennie was ill the day the Earth stood still, but he told us where we stand…”

*** 

The whole thing was magical, whirling, and wild. Everyone around Remus knew the words to every song, and some of them even shouted rude remarks at the characters as they danced around the stage. 

“Slut!” Lily cajoled cheerfully as a modestly dressed woman caught a bouquet at a wedding. 

“Arsehole!” James shouted as Brad Majors navigated a rainy road. Remus was thoroughly amused. 

All the actors were great, of course, but Sirius was - there was no other word for it - perfect. He never missed a cue, never stuttered, the glint in his eye never faded. He was incredible. 

Remus knew he was gone for the moment Sirius came out of the goddamned elevator; his lips curling as he teased the audience. “I see you shiver, with antici….”

“Say it!” The crowd yelled. 

“….pation!”

He was incredible. In every way. Remus felt acutely fated to have been in that crevice, at that time - otherwise, despite living in the same city and working not two doors down from each other - Sirius would have never picked Remus out of a crowd. He was sure of that. 

In a way, it only made Remus more inclined to fall for him. He was everything Remus was not: brave, aspiring, sensual, commanding. And he had no desire to be these things; Remus was content just watching Sirius embody them. 

There was a small intermission, right after Janet and the rest had been frozen into Medusa-esque statues, and Remus and Lily wandered off to get drinks.

“How are you liking it?” She asked, cautiously. 

Remus was still dazed. If he was in a cartoon, there would have surely been big, comical hearts in his eyes. “Good. Good. Really good.”

Lily smirked at him. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you. Did you say ‘good’?”

“Shove off,” Remus shook his head with embarrassment. 

“You would think it was the Frank n’ Furter Picture Show, the way you were fixed on him.” Lily cackled.

“Stop, stop!” Remus laughed, his head in his hands. “It’s bad enough I fancy someone I met an hour ago.”

Lily squealed. “So you fancy him now, do you?”

“If you tell Sirius, Evans…” Remus threatened. 

“I won’t! Promise!” Lily said, eyes gleaming. “Yo-u fancy him,” she sang under her breath. 

The bartender handed them drinks, amusement flashing in his eyes as he listened to their conversation. They brought the ciders precariously back to James, who took a sip of one gratefully. 

“My throats going to kill in the morning.” He groaned. Lily kissed him.

“We’ll have a lie-in, then, won’t we?” She smiled. 

“You two are disgustingly in love.” Remus made a face, though really he was just happy to see two wonderful people make one wonderful couple. 

“Like we didn’t see you making eyes at Black not three minutes ago,” James retorted, and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Hurry, if we go while everyone’s getting food we can squeeze in the front row.” Lily took them both by the collars. She was right, and just as the lights dimmed once more, Remus’s hands collided with the rail that separated them and the performers, securing the three of them a spot. 

A slow bass guitar started, and four actors stepped out on stage, frozen. Colombia started singing - Remus liked her, and her high, squeaky voice. Better than Janet, anyway. 

Then he came out. There were trumpets, like they were announcing the presence of a king, and Sirius (clad in hardly anything but a red corset and some kind of fur boa) stepped out with a flourish. 

When he saw the three of them standing at the front, his eyes lit up in excitement - the only time Remus had seen him break character. 

He sat on the ledge, arm stretched to the audience. Teenage girls and 30-year-old men alike reached out, in hopes of touching his God-like hands. 

Though, when he sang, his eyes were hooked on Remus. “Give yourself over, to absolute pleasure… swim in the warm waters of sins of the flesh…”

It was intoxicating, being looked at like this. Remus had never been singled out in a crowd, never had eyes track his every move when those eyes had hundreds of other people to look at instead. Remus thought if he could freeze time and just replay this moment, over and over, he would. Screw the rest of his life. This was it. 

Sirius beckoned him with a sly finger. 

Don’t dream it… be it… 

Remus stepped as far as he could. Sirius shimmied his boa off and wrapped it around his neck, pulling him closer. People were staring. 

Don’t dream it… be it… 

Sirius was like a siren, and Remus a helpless sailor at sea. He registered, vaguely, that he was ruining his own life. That nothing, nothing would ever compare to this feeling, and surely that would wreck him, in the end. 

He didn’t care.