Chapter 4
The truth is, Regulus Black has had a crush on James Potter for longer than he even knew him. The first vacation Sirius had from school, he came back with stories of James Potter. Stories of all the pranks they had pulled throughout the year and about how James wasn’t afraid to stand up to anyone. The first day Regulus joined his brother on the train to school the following year was a day Regulus would never forget. He knew him and Sirius were different but he just didn’t expect everyone to be so LOUD. James was yelling at Sirius, Sirius was yelling at James and Remus was just yelling because he stubbed his toe. Peter wasn’t silent like Regulus was but he wasn’t screaming so it didn’t matter. The first time James smiled at Regulus, the younger boy felt as if he would throw up. James flashed him that big James Potter smile and gave him a little wave. “Hi! I’m James. We’re all SO excited for you to come to school this year! Sirius has been talking about it nonstop.” James giggled. Regulus just stared back at the other boy, not being able to find any words to say back.
Regulus had realised what was so alluring about James was that he was the polar opposite of what he and Sirius had been taught their whole lives. James Potter was loud and messy. He spoke out of turn and slouched and his hair never seemed to listen to the laws of physics, even more so when they were all younger. Sure, James came from a wealthy family just like his own, but the Potter’s were also the opposite of the Blacks. Sirius always described them as warm and loving. A house full of laughter and noise. James Potter was raised in warmth that would put the sun to shame. Regulus was raised much differently than that. He was raised to always sit up right, be polite, be proper, be neat, don’t talk back, do as you’re told. If a hair was out of place, or a tone in voice changed or even took a second too long to do what was asked it was a firm slap across the face. When they were kids anyway. Once he and Sirius got older, their mother thought they could handle more. So, it turned into closed fists and mild curses. Nothing that would hurt for more than a day, until the week leading up to Sirius running away. Then it turned into unforgivables.
The night Sirius ran away was the worst. The two of them were in the living room while their mother and Sirius screamed back and forth at each other, until she hit him with the Cruciatus curse. Regulus stood against the wall, trying to will the tears to not fall from his eyes as he watched his brother fall to the floor and scream out in agony. Sirius’ body just convulsed on the floor in pain.
“M-Maman, p-please stop.” Regulus managed to squeak out, but the second it came out, it was lost. Drowned out by his brother’s screams. Regulus squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his whole body shake. “M-Maman stop it! You’re hurting him!” Regulus yelled and suddenly, the screaming stopped. He opened his eyes, looking down on the ground where his brother was shaking and crying in pain. Regulus looked up at his mother as the tears poured down his face.
“Vous osez parler hors tour?” Their mother questioned, glaring down at her youngest son. Regulus let out a small whimper, eyes darting back to Sirius on the ground. “Ne le regarde pas. Regardez-moi. Vous osez parler hors tour?!” She yelled, pulling her arm back and snacking Regulus across the face. Regulus fell to the floor next to his brother, hitting his head on the floor with a yelp. The second he hit the floor he could feel the blood starting to pour down his face and onto the hardwood floor.
“S-Sirius?” Regulus whispered but got no answer before the pain started to shoot through his body. He let out a scream and writhed on the floor as his mother shot him with the Cruciatus curse. Regulus just screamed and screamed and screamed. In reality, it was probably no more than a minute or so, but it felt as if he was going through the pain for hours. It felt as if he was being lit on fire from the inside out. Regulus started to full on sob between the screaming. At some point, Sirius had gotten up and shot a hex at their mother to knock her out for a moment. Even though the pain had stopped, Regulus kept crying on the floor. His body ached and his brain still felt like it was on fire. Sirius frowned and rushed over to his brother on the floor, trying to pull him up.
“It’s okay Reggie. It’s okay, you're going to be okay.” Sirius said, repeating the words over and over as he tried to wipe the blood off his brother’s face. Even though the two brothers didn’t speak in school, there was still an unspoken rule to help the other when it came to their mother. It had been like that since they were old enough to be “disciplined” as their mother put it. Even now, at 14 and 15, Sirius still took care of his brother the same he did when they were five and six. Sirius frowned, pulling Regulus into his lap and trying to stop the bleeding from his head as his brother cried, still shaking from the pain. Regulus knew Sirius was still in pain too, but he always put on a brave face when it came to Regulus being hurt. “I-It’s okay. W-We can go to James’ house. We can go grab some of our things and go.” Sirius said, trying to get his brother up and off the floor before Walburga came to and woke up.
“I-I can’t.” Regulus croaked out and shook his head. “I-I can’t leave.”
“Why not? C’mon Reggie let’s go! They’ll take us in we can get out of here! C’mon let's go!” SIrius practically begged, looking at his brother with pleading eyes. Regulus only shook his head in response.
“I can’t leave.” Regulus said firmly, reaching up and trying to stop the blood coming from his head before Sirius was knocked down with a hex. Regulus looked up to see their mother, marching back over to the two of them, wand drawn and firing more hexes to Sirius. Regulus frowned and reached into his robes, grabbing his own wand and firing one single spell at Walburga to at least momentarily pause her, enough so Sirius could get back onto his feet at least. If only that was how it actually played out. The second Sirius got up from the ground he ran right into the fireplace and flooed to the Potter’s. What happened after that was something Regulus swore to himself he would never think of again. That memory was to be locked in a box and stored away to the deepest and darkest corners of his mind. Never again.
That night stood out in James’ mind and he knew it would be a night he wouldn’t forget. He woke up to noise downstairs. He frowned and ran out of his room, down the stairs and into the living room to see Sirius, curled up on the floor, covered in blood and shaking. “MUM! DAD!” James screamed upstairs before running to his best friend, pulling him into his lap. “W-What happened?” James asked him, looking all over his friend’s body to try and find where the blood was coming from as his parents both ran into the room. Sirius just looked up at James before completely passing out. James’ father ran over, carefully picking Sirius up from James’ lap and laying him down on the couch.
“What happened?” His mother asked, running to the couch to tend to the boy. “Monty, go get me my bag from upstairs.” She said calmly. “James go to the bathroom and get me a wet cloth.” She said and James jumped into action, doing what he was told and coming back at lighting speed. “I just need you to..wipe the blood off his face and hands.” She said and James did as he was asked to do. Once Sirius was cleaned up and his mother got to tending to him, his father pulled him aside and sighed.
“James I know you’re worried, but I need you to go upstairs and stay in your room. I owled some people who are going to come and your mother needs to work on Sirius without you hovering okay? I’ll come get you once things are okay. Alright?” Monty said slowly. James frowned, wanting to protest. Before he even got the chance to argue his way into staying with Sirius, his father cocked an eyebrow up. “Alright?” He asked again and James just nodded and headed up to his room. That night, James Potter didn’t sleep at all. He just paced back and forth in his room for hours until morning when his father gave him the okay to come back downstairs. Even then, not many questions were answered. All he knew was that his mother had done this to him, Sirius would be staying with him from now on and not to ask Sirius about what happened. Which he did. He never asked Sirius about what had happened that night. James never found out where all the blood came from either.
Regulus and James had agreed to meet up in the Astronomy tower at night, since Regulus had said nobody could find out they were friends. So, they did just that, James met Regulus up on the tower every night the past week. They didn’t talk about very much, James had found Regulus just didn’t like speaking much in general. But, Regulus would tell him about the new book he was reading that day and James couldn’t get enough. Regulus had a habit of only reading books that were in French. James would sit there and listen to Regulus go on about the plot of the book, or the poems he was reading. James would sit next to the other boy and stare at the page, trying to make any of it make sense and pick up on something, ANYTHING, that would make him understand French more. James also got into the habit of begging Regulus to teach him French. Regulus almost always denied his request, except for a few words here and there. Simple things. Hello. How are you today? Easy things.
“Okay, so what does this sentence say?” James asked, leaning over and pointing to a spot on the page. Regulus was slowly but surely letting James sit closer and closer to him each time they would hang out. It was slow but it was progress. Getting Regulus Black to trust you even an ounce was not an easy task, but it was a task James would put the work into.
“I’m not telling you.” Regulus said simply and cocked an eyebrow. “Because every time I teach you a word, you butcher the pronunciation.” He said. James gasped and shook his head.
“That is not true!” James huffed and Regulus let out a small chuckle and nodded.
“It is true, so I will not be teaching you any more words. Not until you can say the ones I have already taught you correctly.” Regulus shrugged, going back to reading the final chapter of his book. James was still amazed at how quickly Regulus could read, and at what capacity he could read. Every other day Regulus would come up to the tower with a new book and explain it in words James could understand. If he was being honest, all of the books and plot lines and poems all blurred together. Regulus would go through them faster than James could keep up and process. He didn’t mind though. He just liked listening to Regulus talk. Listening to Regulus talk was like taking a shot of fire whiskey. It was smooth and made you warm from the inside out. James had also noticed a few new things about the younger Slytherin. Like when he gets tired his accent is just a touch more noticable, he picked at his nails when he reads, the back of his hair is slightly curlier than the rest. He also noticed when Regulus got anxious or nervous he had a slight eye twitch and it made James’ stomach sink. Sure, he didn’t know all the details of Sirius and Regulus’ family life, but he knew it was bad. Bad enough Regulus was flinchy and twitchy, but he never pushed Regulus to talk about anything he didn’t want to talk about.
“We have another game in a few days.” James hummed, looking over at the other boy next to him. “I know you’re a show off but you can give our team a fighting chance you know.” James joked, nudging Regulus' shoulder with his own. Regulus just smiled a little and shook his head.
“You know I will never hold back my skill, Potter.” Regulus chuckled before sitting up right and clearing his throat. “Anything less than perfection is unacceptable. Rien de moins que la perfection est inacceptable.” He said, mocking his mother. James gave a light laugh but he felt a pit in his stomach. Regulus joked about the things his mother would say to him growing up, but he knew Regulus still thought they were true. James knew deep down Regulus had that feeling of not being good enough and that killed him. “It’s getting late. I should get back to bed before Barty realises I’m gone. Plus I have practice in the morning.” Regulus said and stood up. James just nodded, getting up with him and heading towards the staircase with him, holding the invisibility cloak to his chest as they made their way down the stairs. “Same time tomorrow?” Regulus asked once they had reached the bottom. James just smiled and nodded before Regulus nodded, mostly to himself and walked off down the hall. James was making progress. It was slow and small, but progress nonetheless.