Dinner-Eating
Talking to Harry again was surprisingly easy. After finding out a Vietnamese restaurant and ordering, you had expected there to be an awkward silence. But Harry knew how to break the ice with you.
“Isn’t it weird that we meet again, here in Toronto of all places?” Harry took a sip of his beer.
“I don’t know.” You stared at him calculating. And you were done playing games. “Isn’t it weird that the Minister of Magic himself takes on a mission?”
Harry’s eyes widened as he took a quick look around and then casted wordlessly a privacy charm. Yes, no talking about the case in public places, you reminded yourself. Thankfully. Harry let it go. “To be honest with you, Y/N, I am quite worried about this. We have never had so many neo-Death Eater converting, and they are getting mysterious powers which makes fighting them a challenge. And I am worried…,” he took another gulp of his glass and continued playing with the paper towel on the table. “I am worried it will all come back. The fighting, people having to decide between two sides, families being torn apart, war …”
Seeing his hurt face at what must be painful memories, you couldn’t stop but cover his hand with yours and hold it. Green eyes met yours. You saw the pain there, the people he had lost. And you felt your heart ache for this young man in front of you who had already lost so much. But there was also a familiar shame appearing. You hadn’t stayed that last time. You hadn’t fought.
Now he had to fight again. Even though it should be over. It wasn’t fair.
“Harry, I …,” actually admitting this to Harry was painful, but you figured not telling him would be worse. You took your eyes trying to calm your breath and focus. “Harry, I am sorry. I am so sorry for leaving. I should have stayed. I know that now.”
You didn’t want to look at his face so you continued staring out of the window, tracing the long reflections of the traffic lights in rain on the street. Somehow the world outside felt cold and lost in this wet weather.
“Y/N,” Harry’s deep voice rung solemn and you braced yourself for you knew how he hated you for leaving. “There is nothing to forgive. You were a child. You shouldn’t have had to fight a war. Not everybody was ready for that and I understand that now. I’m just sorry for how I reacted at that time.”
“But you were a child, too,” you replied which made Harry give you a sad smile.
You looked at the man in front of you and tried to remember the boy you knew. He was still there but his face was now that of a man. You were sure his cheekbones were not as pronounced last time you saw him and his skin had been definitely less tanned. And, of course, there were no stubbles that now graced his chin. With a heavy heart you noted some scars on his face, one on his temple and his chin and smaller ones on his left cheek. And he looked tired today. He really must have had a long day, too. Remembering the raid he had come from you felt suddenly bad for keeping him from his rest.
You looked up to the waiter and happily noted that your food was on the way. Finally. You both were digging into your food as soon as it arrived, the perils of the day briefly forgotten. Sated, Harry asked you about what had happened after Hogwarts and you recounted your time at Ilvermony, the Death of your parents and your job at the Canadian Unspeakables. In return, he told you about his life after you had departed, briefly mentioning the Battle of Hogwarts and then his rise to power. Naturally, you had heard the story before in countless newspaper articles, but it had always felt so heroic. Less like the tragedy it was. Now, you felt sorry for the man in front of you. The boy who had killed the Dark Lord while only wanting to protect those he loved.
You looked down at your right hand. At some point it had found Harry’s again. Which was surprisingly soft. Not that you had had any expectations of how Harry’s hands felt like. The restaurant had gotten quieter and the rain had eased. Raising your head again you met the brightest green orbs you had ever seen. The ones you still saw in your dreams from time to time.
You gulped and prayed to Merlin to keep yourself from turning red.
“I’m glad we met again. And that you said yes to a date.” The hand around yours tightened.
But then an image of Draco sprang turned up your head. “I’m sorry to inform you that his is not a date.” Harry rose his brows as you continued. “This is merely a mutual dinner-eating.”
“Dinner-eating?” Harry smirked.
“Exactly. We were both working late and old acquaintances, so it made sense.” You stated as a matter of fact.
“Acquaintances?” This didn’t sit well with the man in front of you. “I think we were more than that.”
Your eyes narrowed. “Exactly. We were. That’s in the past. Look, what do you want from me? Don’t you have hordes of people who would give their right arm to sit with you and eat dinner?”
Harry’s smile faded at that. Shit, you had gone to far. Here was somebody who just wanted to be nice to you and you are being a jerk. You felt your eyelids droop. It was too late for this and you were really fatigued. Maybe you should just head home.
“No, actually not.” Harry rubbed his neck.
You scrunched your brows. “Come on, don’t lie to me. I’m sure I saw you leading some ‘Hottest Bachelor’ rankings in magazines.”
“So you saw those, did you?” Harry grinned with a wink in your direction. The audacity of this man! But before you could pull him off his high horse, he continued. “It’s hard dating people. They never really see the real me. You know how awful it is trying to get somebody to see you for who you really are? More than just the famous Saviour Harry Potter? I feel like it’s impossible to meet somebody who likes me for who I truly am.”
You thought about his statement. But it was so hard to believe, that Harry, the absolute gorgeous man sitting in front of you had trouble meeting somebody. He was the kindest and most loving man you had ever met. Especially if one remembers how much abused he had growing up… You gulped as you remembered his childhood stories and a family he had always so desperately longed for. Even winning a war hadn’t helped him find happiness. Your heart clenched. If one deserves it, then it was Harry!
Noticing his nervous fidgeting with the paper towel and his eyes that hovered at an undefined spot behind you were reminded of the slightly awkward Harry you knew back then. Suddenly, it was as if you had never been apart.
His grip on your hand tightened. And an unspoken understanding manifested in both your eyes as you realized the deeper meaning of his words. It was you! You knew him for his true self. Before he got famous, you loved him.
Realization his as you gulped and felt yourself getting hot. But what about Draco? You quickly receded from Harry’s grip and tried to calm down.
“I think we better go now, it’s already late.” You finished your last bit of rice and signaled the waiter.
Harry had already finished his plate and glanced at you for some seconds before managing to grab the bill before you. He paid ignoring your protests.
As you both went to leave, Harry put his hand softly on the back of your spine. “I’ll apparate you home, Y/N.”
“No, please, I’m fi-.” But before you finished he had already drawn you close and with a surprise while you stood before your entrance. “Yeah, right, you know where I live.”
Harry gave you a small grin and bowed forward. You tried to step backwards but your back hit the door. His tall frame covering, there was no way to escape. But instead of kissing you, he leaned to whisper in your ear in a raspy voice.
“Thanks for the date. See you soon.” And with that you he was gone and you were left with an understanding that in one way or another your life was to get a whole lot more difficult thanks to Harry Potter.