Reconnecting
As Draco ruminated on, he turned down the water and stepped out of the shower. The mirror was fogged, so he wiped it clean with his hand. He almost didn’t recognize the grey eyes that stared back at him. They were exhausted, bloodshot and hollow.
With a sigh, he pulled a white fluffy towel around his waist and stepped into the adjacent bedroom to find the clothes you had put out for him. They hung loose on his too thin body, but it would do. Nervous to speak to you, he went out of his room to be greeted with a mouth-watering smell. He found you in the kitchen, where you had prepared a vegetable pie.
“There you are. How was the shower?”, you looked up and two bright eyes smiling at him.
Draco took you in for a moment. There seemed to be no sign of any hidden resentments in your voice. The bright modern but cozy kitchen, like the rest of the house he had seen so far, fitted perfectly around you. Your skin glowed from a healthy taint and your posture was relaxed. You had always been pretty laissez-fair and never been into that Pureblood wealth symbolism of fancy clothes, jewelry and houses. His heart clenched with the thought how out of place he must look in this beautiful, peaceful place - in your good life. How he would never be deserving a life like this.
As if sensing his doubts, you pointed at the big dining table, already set and the pie waiting for you. “You must be starving. Let’s eat.”
Extremely tired but grateful to taste good warm food again for what felt like a lifetime, he could only half listen to you talking about your new life here in Toronto. While trying to chew and keep his eyes from falling shut, he gathered that she worked in the Ministry now and seemed to be enthralled with the Ministry’s storage and organizing systems. And, apparently, they had a very good cafeteria.
Afterwards, you insisted to treat his wounds before letting him sleep. He tried to talk you out of it, since he didn’t want you to see all the visible signs he had been in a war, but you wouldn’t let him get away with it. So, you two ended up on the couch in the living room. You had fetched some healing stuff you kept in the house and sat next to Draco.
Suddenly, a grey bag of fur jumped on the couch on Draco’s lap and made the man yelp frightened. You smiled softly and picked your cat to move him away from Draco.
“This is not a way to greet our friend”, you scolded your cat, petting her lovingly and pressing a kiss to her furry nose. “Draco, this is Pat, Pat this is Draco. Treat him nicely, Pat, he’s been through a lot.” Draco couldn’t help but cringe a little at this description of him.
Facing him again, you gave him a small wink, trying to light the blond up. “Don’t worry Draco, the only way she would hurt you is by giving too many cuddles.”
The man didn’t react and you saw that Draco was still tense and his eyes wandered around the room, avoiding yours. Your hand touched his shoulder, he flinched but you got him to look into your eyes.
“Draco, it’s okay. You are safe now, here with me. Nobody’s going to hurt you.” The exhausted grey orbs didn’t seem to believe you, however his body relaxed a bit.
“Let’s get this over with, so can sleep a bit.” But when he finally pulled off his shirt, you couldn’t help but gasp at the damage done to his body. Red slashes covered his torso, some barely healed and dangerously festering. It was clear Draco must have been in a lot of pain for a long time.
Blood flushed into his face at the reaction of you. He knew about the feeble state of his body. But then your hand reached out to his cheek to gently caress it. Draco closes his eyes and leans into it, feeling the warmth radiating from you.
“I’m so sorry”, you whispered. “I’m sorry they did this to you.”
He opened his grey eyes, but they appeared darker now with something you hadn’t seen before and his voice sounded tired and raspy when he spoke.
“It was my fault. I went to the Dark Side and so many people had it much worse,” he gulped remembering the dead bodies on the battlefield and with a hardened voice he added, “I deserve this.”
You gave him a stern look but decided to postpone this particular conversation about his feelings of guilt on another day. Picking up his arm, earning a surprised glace from the man in front of you, you started to disinfect the wound and put dittany on it. Watching your face closely, he let you go on with your work, your fingers swiftly but softly going over his skin.
After having treated all visible injuries, you look up and you find his slightly dilated eyes carefully mustering your face. You realize how close his face is and the intimacy of this situation and you feel a heat arising in your body. For a moment you are mesmerized by his gaze and look at the man strained and haggard man in front of you. You had been so worried about him, all of your friends, in the battle. It was all happening so far away and combined with the guilt you felt for not participating in the fighting had put you in a state of constant worry. You almost expected to never see him again. But now he was sitting in front of you and you would make sure he will recover properly.
You feel a hand coming up to your cheek. “Shh, why are you crying (Y/N)? What’s wrong? Should I leave?” A muscle twitched in his jaw.
Only now you realize the wetness beneath your eyes.
“Don’t you dare leaving, Draco! I will hunt you down and force you back. I just missed you, I thought I’d never see you again. Oh Merlin, I am so happy you made it out,” you tried to keep calm but in the last sentence you start sobbing.
“Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave,” you beg tearily with a despair you had ignored for a long time.
Draco immediately pulled to his chest, so you sat in his lap, disregarding his wounds and held you close.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I am here, (Y/N). I am here,” he whispers in your ear while gently stroking your hair.
After a couple of minutes, your sobbing had turned into small hiccups and you remembered yourself, immediately feeling ashamed that you had burdened Draco with your irrational burst of emotions. ”Sorry, I should be the one helping you. Let’s get you to bed.”
“It’s fine (Y/N). I really don’t mind. I am glad I to be here”, Draco says and follows you upstairs to get some rest.