When Sirius ran into the great hall towards James with that grin on his face, he should have known that something was going on.
‘Oi, Prongs, smell this!’ Before he had the chance to even blink, James had a small vail of something under his nose. Batting it away, he looked at Sirius suspiciously.
‘What the fuck is that? It’s not chloroform, is it?’
‘No you idiot, it’s not chloroform. Just smell it and tell me what it smells like. I have a bet with McKinnon to win.’
‘Oh Merlin, you and Marlene making a bet can never go well. You’re like two little troublesome gremlins.’ He leaned further back from the vail, now feeling even less inclined to sniff it. ‘Moony, can you please put a lead on your wife?’
Remus laughed and shrugged. ‘No can do, sorry. Just do it. I promise it isn’t dangerous.’
‘Why do you want me to smell that thing? What are you trying to prove to Marlene.’
‘She thinks you’re lying about something to cover something else up, I want to prove that you’re not.’ Sirius smiled, still moving the vail closer to James’ nose.
‘And me smelling that would help that how?’
‘You’ll see, just do it and tell us what you smell.’
A few people nearby seemed to have caught on to what was happening by now but James, of course, still had no clue what was happening.
He slowly leaned forward and took a small sniff of whatever liquid was inside it.
Sirius pulled it away quickly and started bouncing on his toes. ‘So? What does it smell like? Apples? …cinnamon? I don’t know…flowers?’
‘No, it smells like mint, coffee, that salty seaweedy smell in the Slytherin common rooms, and a little bit like posh aftershave, why would it smell of anything else? Nevermind. I don’t care. Have you at least got what you needed?’
Sirius stared, not blinking, for a solid 30 seconds. ‘What? It doesn’t even smell in the slightest bit like…lily flowers?’
‘No? It smells like you’ve just stolen a bottle of your brother’s perf-OH!’
Sirius seemed to realise what James had said at the same time as James realised what was in the vail.
‘Oh fuck.’
Everyone around them went quiet, a few people muttering to those around them and soon it spread from the Gryffindor table all the way over to the Slytherin table at the other side of the room. James knew he was done for when Crouch turned to the person sitting next to him and laughed loudly. ‘NO WAY!’
James saw as Regulus’ expression shifted from confusion to shock and mild disappointment.
Sirius tapped his foot against the floor crossing his arms like an angry mother. ‘Oh fuck indeed.’
James grinned sheepishly and turned to Regulus, who was now burying his hands in his face to hide the anger and humiliation. He looked up for a few seconds, just to angrily mouth the words 'You idiot, Potter. Why do I even love you?' And let his head fall into his arms on the table one again.
Oops?