"Prongs?" Sirius knocked on the door. He tried not to think about the fact that he stood there right in front of his bestfriends house. A house that should not be able to find. Not by Sirius anyways.
"Hey buddy, open the door please. Lilly send me a patronus. I'm worrying. Please just open the door so I know you're alright." No answer. He tried to breaking the door down, just to realize it wasn't locked.
It shouldn't be that easy.
Not one step inside he saw the lying figure of no other but James Potter. No wand beside him, just his broken glasses almost falling if his nose. It didn't look like there was a duel. There was no fight. But why was James lying there cold faced on the ground?
"James what are you doing?" Sirius chuckled nervously. It was Halloween of course Prongs would prank him. He kneeled beside his bestfriends body before brushing some of his messy hair off James' forehead. "Stop this playing it's not funny. Can you just give up so we can celebrate Halloween a little before you go into the hiding again? I haven't seen you for what feels like forever. Please Prongs! It's enough do you understand?"
There were tears falling down his cheeks though he didn't seem to notice. Instead he shook James pleading him to wake up. It was the only logical explanation for this. It must have been a prank because there couldn't be a world without James Potter it just wasn't possible. And Sirius, selfish as he was, couldn't bare to loose another brother. It would be his fault. Again. He wasn't there for them. He would be responsible for both of their deaths. And he was.
But still he was not the only traitor. Of course it was his fault that his friend was lying there but it was not his fault alone. That fucking rat. He would find him and he would kill him.
How could he dare to betray his friends. They were family. 'Find him. Kill him! ' Those were the only thoughts in head. There was no place for Lilly nor Harry, not right now. He will search and take care of them later. The sounds of his muffled crying ringing in his head. But not right now. Now it's time for revenge.
It wasn't long before he found Pettigrew on the streets. This coward was even too stupid to hide. How could James, wonderful James, loose a life to a fucking stupid prick like him?
He stood there looking exactly like when he had first seen him on the hogwarts train and still- he looked so different. He looked the same but Sirius couldn't recognize him. The loving expression always placed in his face was no longer there.
Since when, Sirius asked himself. Surely it couldn't be that long. He would have notice it. He was a good friend, wasn't he?
But when there eyes met there was another thing that Sirius noticed had changed. His otherwise kind eyes were full of madness. Peter looked like he knew what he was doing. That this was his great prank all along. And still he looked so fucking mad. This man standing in front of him, walking towards him with a knowing smirk on his disgusting face could not be his wormtail. Was he imperiused? Did he know what he had done?
"Peter?" Sirius asked with a light voice. Peter grinned. He seemed proud. "How are you doing my old friend? I hope everything is going well of course." That was it. Sirius grabbed his wand out of his hair and spelled the first spell coming to his mind that wouldn't directly kill his friend -he still could be good old Peter under a imperius curse-, "Locomotor mortis". Sirius watched as Peter's legs sort of bound together. He noticed his mistake for going easy the moment he heard it. "Crucio!"
Sirius felt like he was 14 again. Or 10. Or 7. It didn't matter really as his whole childhood and half his teenage hood contained the punishment of this exact curse.
He couldn't recall later when he felt on his knees and teared his - very expensive- chinos. Though he didn't much care because all he was consumed of was this strong feeling of pain. His brain stopped to think because all it wants, all he wants, is the pain to stop.
"Oh how does it feel Sirius? Do you want to ask for your mommy? But wait... wouldn't she do the same thing to you blood traitor?" He wanted it to stop. Everything should stop right now. It was just a bad dream. Please let it be just a bad dream. "Shut up!" He could slap himself for how weak he sounded. He felt so weak.
"You are right she isn't your mother anymore. What a disgrace you've been for her. Your poor mother." Peter's words mixed with those of his mothers. Disgrace. Infamy. Not her son. "You find another one lucky you. How disgustingly fast you've replaced your own flesh with the blood traitor family. The Potters. It's such a shame you know. You're all pure-bloods and had so much potential and all waisted. It doesn't matter anyways because they're all dead. Every single one of them is dead.
I wish I could say you'll join them soon but no my old friend why would I make it that easy for you?" He laughed. This bastard really laughed. "Avada kedavra!", he shouted. When it was all quiet Sirius relaxed a bit. They were all dead. He had no one anymore.
"You know the funny thing is-" It shouldn't be a surprise that he had missed him since he was still more than a little disoriented. "-Remus." He had not noticed that he had stopped listening until this rat said his name. Fucking hell. "You started to mistrust him on your own. I didn't even do anything. Just had to mention that he's always away and just like this-" He snapped. "his werewolf being convinced you he was the spy. It was so so easy. And it just gave me more reason to despise you. Not even real friends are you. You call yourself loyal all the time, you and James but when in question, you both fail. You know, it didn't even surprise me. All you both cared for was yourself and only you. See if you had trusted him he would be the secret keeper not me. Just saying. So Sirius, if you ever try to give someone the fault for all this, it's not me, it's not voldemort either, it's you. It's your fault. You are so weak of course I choose the other side. It disgusted me to see yall's weekness. I couldn't stand it."
Sirius laughed. He was right. Of course this fucking rat was right. It was his fault. Everything. He mistrusted the one he loved most and called himself a loyal person. It disgusted himself. Oh god he was more evil than Peter. Peter knew what he fought for. He thought he did but he made every wrong decision he could make. He betrayed them all and had the audacity to think that he was doing the right thing. Remus and James. If he had just a little more trust in Remus. If he hadn't had those stupid prejudices he had thought to were impossible for him to have. And Remus knew nothing. He suspected nothing. Today he told him that he was tired of everything and he just wants everything to be alright again. Sirius didn't listen. He didn't care what a traitor had to say. It hurt him to think that his lover was a traitor, it made him mad, it broke him but after a time he could live with that. What was much more worst was that he was innocent all along and Sirius ignored him for nothing and nothing at all. He knew Remus had thought he hated him. But he had been okay with that because he wanted Remus to feel bad for betraying them. He had wanted to break him... And he broke him.
And he was innocent.
So he laughed. Maybe laughing will heal his shattered heart. Maybe laughing will heal all his wounds. Maybe laughing will make James live again. Maybe it will make Remus forgiving him. Maybe it will all be okay if he just laughed a little more. He didn't care about the people anymore. He lost everything. He was Sirius fucking black of course it would end like that. What did he thought? That he wouldgetahappy ending?Hewasablackafterall
In the back of his head he may have noticed the mumbled words of Petter Pettigrew. He may have realized what it would do. But even if he did, he didn't care. This whole world was just a place full of shit. "Bombarda maxima."