Misconceptions

"Ah, Mr. Potter, I wondered when you'd come to see me." Dumbledore's tone was light, but his normally twinkling blue eyes were uncharacteristically somber. "Please, have a seat," he nodded toward the empty chairs surrounding the table at Grimmauld Place, resident headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.

Remus, who'd remained with James at Lily's request (James had a feeling it had something to do with his friend's ability to keep a level-head and civil manner when tempers rose) stayed near the door. At Lily's insistence, Sirius had disappeared upstairs, accompanied by Mrs. Potter herself to make sure he didn't make a reappearance.

Glaring at his former Headmaster, James crossed his arms and remained standing. "I won't take much of your time," his words were clipped, the anger behind them nearly palpable. "You can't send Lily and me into hiding! You said yourself this is a critical point in the fight; we need every able-bodied wizard and witch we have! If it's because of the baby-"

Dumbledore raised a hand, effectively silencing James' litany of protests. Sighing heavily, the older wizard steepled his fingers, examining his former student. With a jolt, James realized just how old and haggard the man looked. Determined to lighten the burden however he could, James settled into an empty chair, lowering his voice.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," he murmured, his shoulders slumping. "I should've been more respectful. I just... I don't understand; if it's a question of courage, Lily and I aren't afraid."

"I know, my boy." Dumbledore's smile was gentle, but his voice was heavy with sorrow. "You and the others," his eyes flicked toward the door, where Remus remained in the shadows, "have already given so much for this war. No, this isn't a matter of courage, but sacrifice; one that right now, I wish to avoid."

His eyebrows knitting in concern, the Headmaster continued, "new information has reached me regarding the Dark Lord's plans, and though I cannot reveal more to you now, Lily and you going underground is essential."

As James opened his mouth to continue the debate, a sharp crack outside Grimmauld signaled an incoming Apparition. Immediately, all three wizards freed their wands, their eyes fastened on the door.

The wards around Headquarters rippled, then admitted whoever it was before Molly Weasley's startled 'oh' had the men racing for the entryway.

An angular young man, his dark hair tangled from Apparition, leaned wearily against the doorframe, wand pointed squarely at Sirius Black.

Sirius returned the favor.

Vaguely, James realized there was a high probability Sirius had distracted his wife by offering her some difficult Healer's study to review, and slunk back downstairs to listen outside the door. Stifling his annoyance, he returned his attention to the matter at hand.

"Snivellus?" The nickname crossed his lips before James could stop it, and his classmate's obsidian eyes snapped to him.

"Oh isn't this lovely," Severus' distinctive drawl was cool as ever, though the sneer on his face looked forced, "it's practically a class reunion. The brain, the brawn, and the circus mutt." His eyes strayed pointedly to Sirius at that last comment, and Black stepped forward with a snarl.

"I'll show you dog, you son of a-"

"Gentlemen," Dumbledore's voice wasn't raised, however, the iron behind it rendered both parties sufficiently cowed. "You will conduct yourselves in a manner befitting your age." His tone softened and he glanced pointedly at them. "You are no longer at school; it is time to let old rivalries die."

Snorting, Sirius lowered his wand marginally. "Speaking of death sir, you'd better check his arm. Wouldn't be surprised if old Snape here took the Mark first chance he got."

Sighing, Dumbledore glanced at Severus, who crossed his arms defiantly over his chest and leveled a glare at the surrounding parties. Neither he nor Sirius had stowed their wands, and Remus hovered nervously in the hallway, his hazel eyes darting from Sirius to Snape and back again. James, to his chagrin, remained stranded in the dining room, blocked by Dumbledore.

Apparently deciding this wasn't going to be an easily resolved issue, the Headmaster gestured toward the dining room.

"Alright, if you insist on the particulars, I suppose you'd all better have a seat. It's about time we had this conversation, especially with the history between the four of you. Molly, if you would bring us some tea?"

Mrs. Weasley, giving Severus' shoulder a light squeeze, slipped through to the kitchen while Dumbledore, a visibly on edge Sirius, stunned James, and wary Snape shuffled into the adjoining room.

Looking around for his wife, James nearly missed Severus' stagger as the man almost collapsed into a chair, earning himself a concerned look from Remus. "Explain," Sirius gritted between his teeth. "What is he doing here, and why should we trust him?"

Glancing at Severus, who seemed determined to avoid making eye contact with anyone, Dumbledore deflated a bit before beginning. "Severus... has been a member of the Order of the Phoenix since before any of you were aware of its existence."

James felt his mouth drop, and Sirius exclaimed, "Merlin's bollocks, are you mad?! He's a bloody Death Eater!"

Sharply, Dumbledore leveled a glance at Black. "Tone," he ordered firmly. Sirius flushed, and looked quickly down at the table. After a moment of strained silence, Dumbledore chuckled and the atmosphere lightened considerably.

"Yes, I reached out to Severus in his fifth year, sensing this would not be as brief a conflict as the rest of the wizarding world counted on when Voldemort first made himself known."

Severus, to his credit, shifted as though uncomfortable at the name, then wrapped his arms around his ribcage. James wasn't sure, but it seemed as though his former rival's breathing was shallower than usual.

Forcing himself to focus on Dumbledore again, he did his best to ignore Snape's odd behavior. "I knew of Severus' talent for the dark arts," that earned a wince from the man in question, "and suggested he become a... listening ear, of sorts, in Slytherin house. He was able to report valuable information regarding the students who'd decided to join Voldemort's cause."

Sighing, Dumbledore's eyes moved from his audience to Severus himself. "And then, at the end of your seventh year, I asked him to pay the highest price. Severus took the Dark Mark, and has been a spy in Voldemort's ranks for the past six months."

Narrowing his eyes, Sirius looked ready to raise hell regarding that revelation, but a gasp from the doorway had them all turning.

Lily, stood, transfixed, her face paler even than Snape's as she stared at the Slytherin. For one awkward moment, the former friends examined each other, their shared history crackling between them.

"Lily..." Severus swallowed hard, shifting backward away from her, "I-"

Taking a hesitant step into the room, Lily's green eyes flashed with hurt when Snape twitched fearfully. Then, as though steeling herself, she crossed the room, wrapping her arms gently around his bony frame. Severus' eyes snapped shut and he let out a barely audible hiss at her touch.

Lily released him immediately, her no-nonsense Healer persona snapping into place. "Sev, you're hurt!" Her hand trailed gently down his side, and Snape recoiled faster than James thought possible, gaining his feet and backing away.

"I'm fine," the wizard muttered, though the arm around his ribs tightened, and he leaned heavily on the wall for support.

"Severus..." Dumbledore's voice was chiding, but the feral expression on Snape's face silenced him.

"You bring news?" the Headmaster queried instead. Severus nodded, opening his mouth to speak when Molly re-entered the room with the tea service.

"I've brought some sandwiches; you're much too thin Severus," catching sight of the young man in the corner, Molly's eyes narrowed. "What are you-" Her eyes flicked to the floor and James followed her gaze, biting his tongue to keep quiet at the bloody footprints trailing Severus. "Merlin, you're bleeding!" She'd merely stated the obvious, but Snape still flinched.

"Just a scratch," he muttered, but his eyes widened in alarm when she stepped toward him. "Really, Molly, it's nothi- don't touch me!" Throwing up a hand to protect himself, Snape's breathing quickened, and he slid to the floor, face ashen.

Remus and Lily were out of their seats before Severus hit the ground, crossing to Molly's side.

"Panic attack," Lily murmured, "he had them at school sometimes." Her voice low and soothing, she hesitantly laid a hand on Snape's shoulder. "Shh, it's alright now. Just breathe for me, Sev. There you go, in and out. Good job...."

The picture of efficiency, Mrs. Weasley began to order the rest of the occupants around. "Sirius, fetch the first aid kit from the bathroom; James, sterilize this table. We'll fix him up in a moment. Sir," she eyed the Headmaster, her eyes dark with fury, "a word, if you please?"

Dumbledore, wisely, followed her into the hallway, while James and Sirius hurried to follow directions. Through the door, Molly's voice rose in volume, and James knew she was livid. Mrs. Weasley didn't yell often, but when she did... he'd learned to take cover.

"This is the third time this month he's come back looking like that, Albus! No, you listen to me, now; I've heard quite enough of your martyr-making speeches over these past weeks. He's barely more than a child and you're throwing him to the wolves with no protection whatsoever!"

Mrs. Weasley grew more passionate as she warmed to her subject.

"You know he'd do anything for approval; the poor boy's been starved of any affection, no thanks to you! He'd walk straight through hell if someone told him they'd love him for it. Don't you give me that look; you know I'm right! When this is all said and done, I hope Lady Magic judges you for what you've done; Merlin knows Severus might not be around to see it."

With a final righteously indignant sniff, Molly stormed back into the room, giving James a vehement look. He flushed guiltily, cursing himself for refusing to mind his own business.

Severus had regained some color and his breathing had evened enough to protest, albeit weakly, Lily's insistence on a medical examination.

Briskly, Mrs. Weasley joined the two in the corner. "Come along, Severus, on the table; there's a good lad." Taking his elbow, she pulled the man to his feet, helping him across the room.

"Robes off," she ordered, waving his arguments away when he tried to resist. "We're all Healers, Severus; it isn't anything one of us hasn't seen yet."

Black eyes flicking to Lupin, Snape's thin fingers began to work down the buttons of his robes, his hands trembling slightly with fatigue. James noticed for the first time the dark circles under his former rival's eyes.

Gritting his teeth, Severus slipped the robes from his shoulders and James gasped sharply in spite of himself. Lacerations covered the man's slight torso, and what looked like a partially healed stab wound leaked blood with every shallow breath.

Severus' ribs were a tapestry of bruises: purple, yellow, and green, and James wondered what they'd looked like earlier.

"So much blood..." he whispered, feeling his knees buckle as he slid to the floor.

Turning, Remus noticed his friend's discomfort and hurried over, pushing James' head onto his knees. "Don't faint on me, Prongs," the Were murmured, conjuring a glass of water and pressing it into James' hand.

"Sev..." Lily breathed, her fingers ghosting over the cuts. Severus let out a strangled noise, a horrible sound between a sob and a groan, and his knuckles whitened as he gripped the table.

"We have to clean you up first, then we'll heal these." Soothingly, Molly patted Snape's dark hair, her lips tugging into a sad smile when the young man leaned into her touch. Taking a damp rag, she began to gently wash the blood away, tutting in concern when he hissed.

"I know it hurts," she whispered, when Snape cried out through his teeth, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. "There you go; breathe for me, Severus."

Resting her hands on his ribs as he took several agonizing breaths, Molly nodded. "Broken, I thought as much. Remus, fetch the Skele-Gro."

Turning back to examine the rest of the cuts, she murmured, "I'm going to try a healing spell now, Severus; just stay still dear, I don't want to make this worse."

Shaking his head, the young Death Eater managed, "won't work. Cursed blade. Have to heal it-" Here, his voice gave out, and Molly set her teeth, her cheeks flushing.

"I am going to Avada you, Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore," she practically snarled, before waving her wand to summon a sewing kit.

After that, James felt too ill to watch, though if the choking sobs Snape was trying to stifle said anything about being sewed back together, it was not a pleasant experience for anyone.

It felt like hours later when Remus murmured, "it's alright now." James looked up to find a rung-out Snape slumped against Lily, his ribs and wrist bandaged, his eyes half-closed already.

"There you are dear, all finished." Mrs. Weasley slipped an arm around Severus, and Remus joined her on the man's other side. "Up to bed now; you look like you haven't slept in a week."

Too exhausted to do more than murmur a mild objection to Lupin's manhandling, Severus allowed them to settle him in the living room of Grimmauld. Molly transfigured the couch into a bed and tenderly pulled the blankets up around Severus' shoulders before sitting in a chair next to him.

"Nightmares," Lily murmured, by way of explanation, her green eyes trailing over her friend, "he needs to rest, but we can't leave him unsupervised or he'll tear his stitches, I'm sure."

Wearily, Lily leaned against her husband, the tension easing from her shoulders when James wrapped his arms tenderly around her waist. "How was I so wrong?" The words were so quiet, he almost missed them entirely.

"Fifth-year, James. Fifth-year... He's been doing this since he was fifteen?" He felt the tell-tale moisture of tears as her shoulders trembled. "How could I do that to him? I didn't even give him a chance to explain." Her voice broke and James felt her shudder.

Sighing, James shook his head. "Wasn't just you, Lils," he murmured, softly. "We all missed it." Rubbing his temples, he winced at the thought of everything they'd done- he'd done, to Snape.

Glancing through the living room door as Severus' breathing finally eased, James made up his mind; no matter what their past had been, he would make an effort with Snape. No matter how snarky, sarcastic, or caustic the other man was, James owed him that much.

Pulling Lily away, to their bedroom, James settled next to her, holding her close. Too caught up in their thoughts for much discussion, James turned out the lights with a soft, "nox," before closing his eyes.

He supposed Dumbledore had been right about misconceptions, but he'd never imagined... Snape had paid a heavy price, but more than that, he'd chosen to do the right thing, even when no one else believed he would.

Closing his eyes, James was left to wonder what else he was misinterpreting. To think, he'd nearly killed Dumbledore's spy while they were still in school...

Chest aching as the memories of his Hogwarts' days played in the forefront of his mind, James Potter lay awake late into the night.