Draco hadn’t meant to cast the spell like that. He was busy enough lately, with the Dark Lords impossible task, avoiding Potter and his annoying friends and feeling terrified everytime Dumbledore shot a knowing gaze in his direction.
The spell he had wanted to cast was meant to repair the vanishing cabinet. Usually he was so careful with his pronounciation but this spell was long and difficult. That was not the only problem. Draco also hadn’t slept in two days. He was completely exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open. He had been researching spells in the library for hours last night and the night before that.
It was a matter of bad concentration that had made all the words tumble in his mind. And before he knew it, he had messed up the whole spell.
The effect was immediate, but Draco didn’t know that. He just stared at the still broken cabinet , convinced that once again a spell didn’t work. A silent tear dripped down his cheek. This had been his last resort, there was nothing left to try. The Dark Lord would be so angry if Draco failed. He did not know what the consequences would be and Draco was so, so scared. Receiving the Mark had been the worst pain he had ever felt and that was suposed to be an honor. He didn’t want to know what a punishment would feel like.
Terrified and exhausted, Draco stumbled out of the room of requirement. The castle felt threatening and the walls were closing in. Like it knew what he was doing and hated him for it. He had to get out.
Rapidly breathing he made it to the garden, unknowingly avoiding the patrolling teachers. He sat down on a bence in the middle of the Hogwarts rose garden. It was warm and the air was heavy with the sent of roses. The moon lit up his hair and pale skin. His face was wet with tears, but somehow he felt calmer here. He sat on the bench for some time, not feeling the need to get up.
Then Draco heard footsteps on the gravel. That made him get up swiftly and look around in alarm. What if it was a teacher, or worse, what if it was another student? He couldn’t be caught bawling his eyes out in the middle of the night. The moon lit up a pair of round glasses and unruled jetblack hair. It was Potter. Ofcourse, who else whould it be. And that Weasel and Know-it-all probably wouldn’t be far away. All come to laugh at poor old Draco, sitting alone in the dark, feeling miserable, cleary having a pity-party. He could not let that happen. Draco shielded his mind, boxed away his emotions and put his trademark sneer on his face.
“Potter.”
Potter jumped and wipped out his wand, looking like he’d seen a ghost. He certainly looked suprised to see Draco standing in the garden. Draco reacted just as quick and the two boys held each other at wandpoint. But instead of yelling out the terrible spells he had in mind, Draco stared at Potter. Potter didn’t move either. Of all of the times they had fought, this time was different.
“Malfoy.” Potter wispered.
“Were are your friends, Potter?” Draco croaked out. All the crying and the exhaustion had made his voice hoarse.
“Not here. Have you been...crying?”
Draco’s silence was enough answer for Potter. Potter looked at him uncertainly. It looked like he was deciding something for himself. Potter lowered his wand.
Draco lowered his aswell and sat back down on the bench with a sigh. Potter plopped himself down beside him.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No.” Draco grumbled. He did want to talk, he couldn’t burden Potter with his problems. And it would put Potter is danger too. Potter was quiet.
“Is it about...erm.” Potter lifted up his left arm, gesturing towards his wrist.
Draco’s eyes grew. He gasped his Dark Mark tightly. “Sorry what?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve actually known for a while that you have, you know, his Mark.”
Draco went pale and gripped his arm even tighter.
“Woah.” Potter reached for Draco’s hand. “I figured that it wasn’t volu-”
His hand touched Draco’s. There was a bright spark and all nightlife held its breath. It was like everything happened in slow-motion. Draco felt Potter’s soft skin press against his own and he stared with big, owlish eyes at Potter. Potter was looking at their hands in shock. Then time sped up again.
They jolted away from each other like struck by lightning. A connection formed, an unbreakeble bond. A bright thread of silver silk that wrapped itself around Draco’s neck. It reached for Potter and wrapped around his chest, tightening a bit. Potter gasped, in pain or suprise, Draco didn’t know.
He knew immediately that this was bad news, very bad and that he was to blame. He somehow knew that the spell he had cast earlier this night hadn’t failed. There was one other spell that was alike to the one he had tried to use. Instead of repairing a connection, like needed to happen with the vanishing cabinet, the spell uncovered a connection. A natural connection of the soul. The magic of the individuals connected had to be like puzzle pieces for this to happen. Once the spell was spoken out loud, the two sides just needed to touch to activate the bond. Then a life-long bond would form, wether is was romantic or platonic. And the worst, they would be able to feel each others feelings and pain. The fact that Potter would know how he felt at all times during the day made Draco feel nauseous.
They would be drawn to the other and it would hurt if they were separated for too long. Well, Draco would hurt, the catch was that the caster wouldn’t be that luckey if they got rejected. Potter wouldn’t feel a damn thing. What Potter would feel, was the urge to protect Draco and vice-versa. And Draco hated, hated, the idea of being so weak to need protection from a Griffendor. Even if that Griffendor was kinda cute. And pretty.
God, Potter just touched him. His suposed archenemy just formed a lifelong connection with him, a Death-Eater. Draco was fucked.
They pulled their hands back so quick, Draco flew off the other end of the bench. Harry just sat there, staring at his hand. It trembled at bit. The silver thread faded into the night sky.
“How? What just happened? Was that my fault? Draco, I’m so sorry!” Harry looked at Draco shocked and fearful.
Draco stood up slowely and brushed the dirt from his pants. He looked at Harry, who looked small, sitting at the very end of the bench. As if to get away from Draco as far as possible without running away. Draco felt awful for doing this to Potter. The Griffendor was rubbing his chest with a shaky hand. There were golden snitches flitting over his red pjamas and his hair was messy from the sleep. He looked so young and innocent.
“Pot.. erm” He coughed once. “Harry.”
Draco sat down in the middle of the bench. His voice was soft and soothening, something it wasn’t very often.
“This is not your fault, it’s mine.” he said. “No no.” Draco shushed Harry when the boy started to sputter. “It actually is. I cast a spell wrong earlier this evening. And it uncovered a certain...connection.”
Draco explained what the spell did. He didn’t look at Harry, scared to see the rejection written over his face. He so hoped that Harry wouldn’t hate him even more. He really didn’t want to pressure him, so he suggested that Harry had every choice in what the bond could be. Whatever Harry was comfortable with. Harry turned bright red. It was probably the idea of any relationship that was so proposterous to harry, draco thought. He was suprised that Harry hadn’t run away or hit him in the face.
Then it grew really quiet. Neither of them knew what to say.
Harry ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He stood up. “I’m gonna...this is a lot to think about. I’ll let you know in the morning.”
He gave Draco one last look and walked away.
Draco stared at Harry’s silhouette, walking away. He didn’t know what to do now. He felt alone and left behind. He rubbed his throat.
It was almost morning when he returned to his dormitory.
**
The next time that Draco saw Harry was at dinner. He had skipped breakfast and lunch in order to get the much needed sleep. But now he was in dire need of some food in his grumbling stomach. Dinner had started already when he snuck into the Great Hall, but no one noticed him. Correction, no one but Harry. He was wispering with the rest of the Golden trio but looked up when Draco sat down besides Pansy at the Slytherin table. Draco felt scared. What had Harry been wispering about with the Weasel and Granger? Merlin, they were probably talking about him. He so hoped that Harry would tell his friends about the Death-Eater thing. If he did, they would despice Draco even more and Granger would report him to Dumbledore. He could feel their glances and before he could help himself, he threw a nasty glare to them. He grabbed an apple and left the Great Hall before he could see Harry’s reaction.
He was walking along the corridor, towards his dorm, to get some peace and quiet and to conduct his next move regarding the Vanishing Cabinet, when someone tugged at his sleeve. The sleeve of his left arm, the arm with the dispicable Dark Mark on it. Draco turned around hissing, ready to strike whoever dared to touch him. But he didn’t. It was Granger, looking scared and ready to duck.
“What do you want Granger?” he gritted through his teeth.
Her eyes were wide as she answered. “Harry wants to meet. At nine in the owlery.”
Draco scoffed. “And he couldn’t tell me that himself? Had to send his favourite Mudblood?” He knew he went to far, he didn’t even meant the insult. The superiority of Purebloods hadn’t been part of his believes for a long time. Right after he looked You-Know-Who in the eyes he knew for sure is was all a load of bullshit. But Grangers doe eyes and fizzy hair brought out the worst in him. Old habits and all.
Granger turned white. At first Draco thought she was going to cry, but her fists were clenched and she went redder by the second. She was cleary furious.
“Listen up Malfoy. Harry is quite upset due to what you’ve said and done. But he understands. So if you want any place in his life, any at all, you’re going to change. Whether you like it or not. Because if you don’t, I’ll keep you away from him. And we both know what happens then, don’t we? The caster dies, Malfoy!”
She was breathing fast and her eyes were blazing. All Draco could do was stare at her. Granger crossed her arms. “I think you should appologies for what you said to me, Malfoy.”
Draco looked down at his shoes, arrogance forgotten. He played with his fingers anxiously and blinked execively to keep the tears from falling. He felt weak.
“I’m really sorry Her-Hermione.”
Her posture relaxed and she sighed. Draco looked up, biting his lower lip. He really needed a place in Harry’s life and not just because he wanted it. He needed it too. He could already feel the pain of being away from Harry for too long aching in his bones. He had to make a decision and it included choosing his side of the war. He couldn’t keep the tears of regret leaking away. They dripped down his face. His voice shivered just a bit when he spoke.
“I never meant it you know, I think you’re a great witch. And I know that Harry is upset. I..felt it, all day. It made me worry.”
Hermione took in his slumped shoulders and tears of defeat and nodded. “Okay. I’ll give you a chance. Just, never call me that again. I will hit you in the face.”
Draco nodded quickly. Hermione turned around and walked away, leaving a shivering Draco behind.
**
After catching up with some sleep, Draco woke up at nine. When he saw what time is was, he jumped out of bed. He hated being late, so he dressed up in a rush, stubbing his toe hard in the process. With no time to spare, he bit his tongue and shuffled his shoes on. In an afterthought he stuffed his wand in his pocket. He didn’t know what Harry wanted to talk about and he might need his wands if it all came to a duel.
He flew to the owlery. At the last pair of stairs he slowed down, he didn’t want to upset the owls. Opening the door with a creak, he slipped inside. The ache in his body eased a little. He closed the door softly and sat down in the straw on the ground.
“Hello.” Harry said while appearing from a dark corner. Draco jumped.
“Salazar, warn a guy.” He puffed out a breath and relaxed again.
Harry smirked. “Is your toe okay? You are a lot more clumsy than I expected.”
“Yes, eh, sorry.” Draco blushed. It was weird to hear the prove of their bond. He shuffled his feet in discomfort. He didn’t know exactly what Harry wanted and that made him nervous.
“Hermione said that you felt upset.” Draco said.
Harry looked at him. “I did.”
He walked over to Draco and sat down beside him. Very close, but not close enough to touch. Harry was waiting for permission to touch and Draco felt hope rise in his chest. He could feel the humming in his blood and knew Harry felt it too. Draco looked straight ahead and closed the gap between their bodies, pushing his leg against Harry’s. Both of them gasped softly and relaxed.
“Talk to me Harry.” Draco wispered.
Harry nodded. “I wasn’t really shocked about the fact that there is a bond between us. I mean, we’ve always been drawn to each other, right?”
Draco agreed. For some reason their paths had always seemed to cross.
Harry continued. “But being drawn to you feels different. It hurts and I can’t stop thinking about you?”
“In a positive way?” Draco asked. Hope fluttered its wings against his ribcage.
“Yeah. And I think so different about you. It made me freak out yesterday.”
“But Harry,” Draco tried to bring it as gentle as he could. “the spell only uncovers what was already there. All the thoughts and feelings you are having are truly your own.”
“I know. Hermione told me already. But it just doesn’t make it easier.”
Draco placed a comforting hand on Harry’s knee.
“Why not?”
“Because Draco, I know what I feel. But I have no idea how you feel. It terrifies me to think you might not like me”
Draco’s heart skipped a beat. How could anyone not like Harry?
“Then why don’t you ask me?”
Harry turned his head and looked Draco in his eyes. Draco almost stopped breathing.
“Do you? Like me, that is.” His voice was husk and Draco could feel the warmth from Harry’s leg seep into his skin. He swallowed, nervous to speak.
“I need your help Harry, I.. I'm terrified. I don’t want to be on the dark side of the war. I never did in the first place. I just don’t know if I still can change. Everyone will think I’m a liar. My dad will hate me and disown me. And mum,” his voice trembled and he wiped his eyes furiously. “she does love me, you know. Really! I just, I can’t do it anymore. But he’ll find me Potter! He’ll find me and then he will kill me. I need protection.”
At this point Draco was shaking. Would changing himself be enough to prove he wasn’t evil? And would Harry’s protection be enough be able to leave the Dark Lords side?
Harry engulfed Draco in a hug. Harry was warm and Draco pushed his cheek into his chest. He calmed immediately.
“You would do that for me?” Harry wispered. “You would risk it all, endangering yourself to switch sides?”
“And be with you.” Draco murmled.
A drop of water hit Draco’s shoulder. Harry sniffled. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Draco looked up and pushed himself from Harry’s chest. He gazed into Harry’s eyes. They were filled with tears and it looked like he hid the whole universe in them. Harry had so much to give, Draco thought. Maybe a little too much.
“No, thank you.”
Harry looked so beautiful, Draco could kiss him.
“Harry.”
“I don’t think I can be friends with you.” Harry blurted out.
“Harry.”
“And, and I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just-”
“Shhh.” Draco shushed him. “Please hear me out. I don’t want to be friends either. For that I want to kiss you too badly. May I?”
Harry flushed. He bit his rosy lip and nodded.
Draco locked his hands behind Harry’s nek and tilted his head a little. He leaned in and his lips brushed Harry’s. They were soft and a bit salty from all the tears. A warm feeling erupted in his chest. His heart sung with joy and love. He pushed his lips harder against Harry’s and brushed his hands through black, curly hair. Harry moved his lips and Draco sighed. He had never felt more content. This was what he wanted to do the rest of his live.
Harry smiled against his lips. “I like this a lot.” he wispered. Draco smiled too and kissed Harry again.