The Half-blood Prince

Saira Prince looks tired and old. Her black hair is laced with silver, her once proud shoulders slumped, her handsome face marred with lines. She stands, mouth hanging open staring at the bruised and bedraggled young woman on her doorstep, and then down at the young boy clinging to her leg.

‘Elina?’ She whispers.

She doesn’t look angry, or disgusted. Shock would not adequately describe the look on her face – disbelief would be more accurate. She does not shout, or immediately send them away, but neither does she invite them in.
‘What… why…?’ Her eyes rove over their dishevelled forms. Saira Prince had once been an eloquent and well spoken woman. She had never quite shaken her Indian accent, but she was not the lowly peasant that the English judged her to be because of the colour of her skin. She was in fact a well educated woman from a wealthy and well to do family. She spoke four languages almost fluently, knew the correct etiquette for any social or formal engagement in all of those four countries, and could have given Irma Black a run for her money in the execution of a well planned dinner party – had they ever been allowed to take their proper place among the pureblood families. But right now she can barely form words, let alone string them together into a well formed sentence.

As she stands there observing her only living child, a terrible feeling swells up from the pit of her stomach. The terrible confirmation of foresight. The bruises, the second hand muggle clothing, and the small boy – who must be her grandson – so pale and thin and lost looking. She had known this was how Elina would end up. From the second she had lain eyes on that ruffian Tobias Snape, she had known.

Elina had always been a wilful girl. That ran in the family unfortunately. It was a good quality to have, objectively, and Saira had no problem with a woman being strong and independent. She considered herself to be strong, and brave. She had left her family in India to come to England to marry a man she had never met, and she had done it with her head held high. As a parent though, wilful children were not always a blessing. Elina had been born premature, and she had remained physically small. Her magic had never grown strong, but she had not let that stop her. She had been full of energy and vigour, always running and laughing, and she made up for her lack of magical ability by learning potions, runes, and history. She had excelled academically, but had always been in the shadow of her older brother who had been tall, athletic, and intelligent – as well as magically gifted. Nathaniel had been a dream child, and the Princes had inevitably somewhat neglected their daughter because of it.

Nathan was going to be the one that finally secured the Prince family’s position in English wizarding society with a marriage to a noble Rosier girl. But then he had died. Killed in some silly skirmish with rogue Grindelwald supporters a year after the dark wizard’s arrest in 1945. The hope for the family fell to Elina, and by some miracle they had secured a marriage for her to a nice boy from the Parkinson family, but wilful, vivacious, free spirited Elina refused. Then she had taken up with a muggle lad she had met Merlin knew where, started insisting they call her Eileen, and announced she was marrying him.

The arguments had been horrendous. They had said many things they regretted. And when they had come home one day to find all of her things gone Saira suspected she might never see her daughter again alive.

But here she is, standing on their doorstep, with her little boy.
‘Aadhan! Aadhan, come quickly!’ She calls over her shoulder to her husband. Aadhan Prince did not generally do anything quickly these days, but he must have heard something in his wife’s voice because he is behind her in a matter of moments.

‘Elina?!’ Aaden says in shock, and then the interrogation comes. ‘What are you doing here? Where have you been? We hear nothing for more than ten years and then you just turn up on our doorstep? What do you want? That muggle boy ran out of money and you are here to beg for handouts?’

Eileen had had her speech prepared, she had gone over and over in her head on the bus journey here, how she would introduce Severus, and tell them that she expected nothing for herself, but how Severus was a good little boy, and his magic was much stronger than hers, and if they would only take him in, she didn’t care what happened to her. But none of that comes to her mind now. Her father had always had a temper, but never the same as Tobias – she knew the difference now. Aadhan was stern, and demanding, and his pride was hard earned, but under his toughness, and his demands there was warmth, there was caring. He had read to Eileen at night when she was little, and helped her to learn the name of every single plant in the garden, and snuck her chocolates from her mother’s silver box at Christmas.

‘I want to come home Papa.’ She says, the tears that have been held back for hours, days, and years, all spilling down her cheeks at once. Her knees give way, and she finds herself caught up in her father’s arms.

Severus has never seen his mam like this. She was frightened of his dad, and would cower, and bow her head in front of him, and sometimes she had red eyes, and Severus knew that she had been crying at the sink while she washed the dishes, but he still thought she was strong. Tobias was big and scary, but she always tried to protect her son, and tried to put on a brave face, and told him everything was going to be alright. So when she collapses and starts sobbing he doesn’t know what to do. He feels truly afraid for the first time since their little adventure had begun. Mam had taken them away from his dad, and found the nice people at the Gurdwara, and taken them on the bus – he had only been on the bus once before into Cokeworth town, but they had taken two buses and gone a really really long way, and Severus had no idea how she knew where to go.

When he had found the picture of his mam when she was young, standing next to another boy she said was her brother, and two older people she said were her parents, he had been utterly fascinated. They all looked so smart, even smarter than the Richardsons who had only moved to Spinners End because their dad had lost their job, but they still got all dressed up in their fancy clothes for church on Sundays, and everyone sneered at them behind their backs for being fancy and thinking they were better than everyone else. Mam said her parents surname was Prince, and that had been her name too before she married dad, and Severus thought that was right, because they looked like Princes with their clothes that were much fancier even than the Richardsons, and their placid expressions that looked like the young muggle Queen Elizabeth, and the huge house they were standing in front of which must have been at least five times bigger than the houses on Spinners End.

Now he could see that Prince Manor was much bigger than that even. Their whole house could probably fit in the hallway that they are being ushered into, and the room they go into next is even bigger, and looks like a drawing of a palace that he had once seen in a library book. Severus doesn’t gawp though. He knows how to be a good boy. Look without staring, don’t speak unless you are asked a question, and then answer it carefully and politely. And always, always, hide your magic.

‘And what is your name then, young man?’ The lady with tight lips, but patient eyes asks him.
‘Severus, ma’am.’ He says, keeping his eyes down, except for a quick flick up at the faint gasp his grandmother makes.
‘It is very nice to meet you Severus.’ She says, and holds out a hand towards him. Severus flinches slightly, even though it wasn’t a hitting hand motion, and then realises that he was supposed put his hand out too, but they are balled in his lap and he cannot make them move. His grandmother retracts the hand, and he panics, hoping he hasn’t ruined it for them. But then mam starts speaking.

‘Sorry, it has been a long day.’ She says, in a voice that doesn’t sound entirely like her, and sounds much more like these new people, his grandparents. ‘It has been a lot for Severus to cope with, but he is a good boy. He is quiet, and clever, and he is showing very strong magical ability already.’ Severus does gawp then, his head tilted suddenly up at his mother, because he had never heard her even say the word magic to anyone, except in a hushed whisper to him when nobody was around. And only then to explain why he kept making things happen by accident, and that he must be careful and never show or tell anyone about it, especially not dad.

‘I know that you do not want me, and I was a disappointment to you, and I will leave and never return if that is what you wish, but please, please at least take Sev. He is your grandson, and even though he is only a halfblood he is so clever, and he will be a powerful wizard one day I just know it…’ Mam’s voice is cracking again, and Severus clings to her arm because she seems to be talking about leaving him here, and yes he had wanted to come, begged her to come, but he didn’t want her to leave, especially if she was going back to dad on her own. He would be angry and he would hurt her and…

‘Elina.’ Aadhan’s voice rings out clear and strong. ‘You were the one who left. You chose that muggle boy over your own family, despite all of our warnings, and look what he has done to you.’
‘I know father. I am sorry.’ Eileen hangs her head.
‘But. You are our child. You could have come back any time.’ The patriarch intones.

Eileen’s head snaps up and she stares at her parents. Their faces are haggard, lined with worry – and some anger, yes – but their eyes look at her with that slight sad affection, like when she had messed up in transfiguration and her poor pet toad had been stuck as half a goblet, and the unfortunate creature had died rather painfully.

‘But Tobias said…’ A yawning sinking feeling threatens to completely swallow her whole as a realisation begins to dawn upon her. She had been fighting awfully with her parents, and Toby had just got his job at the mill, and he asked her to move in to his little flat, which she had. She had moved her things while her parents were out because she just didn’t want to argue with them again, and had planned to go back in a few days to explain it to them. But Toby had offered to go himself; said that he would talk to her father man to man, explain how in love they were, and that he would look after her, and formally ask for her hand in marriage. It had all sounded so chivalrous and romantic. But he had come home in a terrible state, saying that her father had treated him awfully, and that her parents had given them an ultimatum.
‘He said that you had sent a message that either I was to leave him and come home, or that I would be disowned and should never contact you again.’ Eileen breathes.

‘Tobias did come to see me, yes, and perhaps I was not as welcoming as I could have been, but we simply could not give our blessing to such a union.’ Aadhan says.
‘It was not simply about him being a muggle.’ Saira adds. ‘I could see he was an angry young man. He thought that the world owed him something, and he never liked that you were magical. He played on the fact that your magical ability was not strong, and encouraged you to leave it all behind, to live like a muggle. We did not want that for you, and we did not think that it was what you would want in the long term. I was also… disappointed that you would not help the family.’ She admits. ‘We just wanted what was best for all of us. But we did not say we would disown you.’

‘And we did no such thing.’ Aadhan intones. ‘We wrote to you. We received a letter back from Tobias saying you wished nothing more to do with us… I did suspect at the time that perhaps it was not really from you. But after a while when we heard nothing further…’ Eileen’s parents look at each other. ‘We were stubborn too, and angry, the years went by and we…’ Saira pauses. ‘I gave up on you.’ The once proud woman looks down in shame, and Eileen sees that it was not just her they had given up on. It was as though the entire manor had been asleep for twelve years. The Princes had lost both their children, and they had given up on everything.

Nobody says whether they are going to stay or not, but stay they do, and as the weeks go by Severus begins to relax a little, and stops wondering every day if they are going to be leaving again. He is given the most beautiful clothes he has ever seen in his life, and they are fed three meals every day. Three! The food is mostly made by a peculiar creature who is shorter than he is, but has huge long ears, and wears a tiny little tailored suit like the boy that sells ice creams at the cinema. They had been there once, on his sixth birthday, though they couldn’t buy an ice cream, and they’d had to eat only tinned soup for a whole week after, and Tobias kept getting angry and asking where the money was.

Sometimes naanee Saira cooks too. She says he can call them naanee and daada at home (home?) but in front of others he should call them grandmother and grandfather. She makes a delicious rice dish that smells of flowers and sunshine, and it is the colour of daffodils, and has little seeds in it that are bitter if you bite them. Grandfather takes him around the garden, and mutters that it needs weeding, but shows him all of the different plants, and which ones can be used for medicines like the ones mam used to make. Mam gets a new wand, and cleans out the room that she says used to be her potions lab, and she lets him help her to make some of her special salve which she rubs on his back at night and then the cuts and the scabs start to go away, and sometimes he can even pretend that he doesn’t remember how he got them.

Severus gets his own room too. It’s huge. Bigger than his old bedroom and his parent’s bedroom combined. It’s dusty at first, and the bed creaks, but then naanee Saira shows him some of her magic to clean it up, and he has to try very hard not to gawp because it is incredible and beautiful, and he cannot understand why anyone would ever give it up, or try to make someone else give it up. After that he cautiously, quietly, tries to use his magic too. He still doesn’t let anyone see, just in case, and it’s a bit scary at first because he’s been keeping it locked up tight in a little box in his chest, and it feels angry and sharp and unpredictable. But he makes some of the plants that daada said were weeds die, and then when he is a bit more used to it, he makes another one of the plants burst open it’s bright purple flowers.

Then one day, after they have been there for quite a few weeks, and maybe it’s two months, daada takes Severus into his office. It’s dark, and cosy, and it smells of leather and ink. There are dark wooden shelves all the way up to the ceiling with hundreds of old books in them, and a huge desk with a green leather writing surface, and a pot with long fluffy quills in it. He tells Severus to sit in an armchair next to the fire, that has cracked leather, and a tall back that makes him feel like he’s in a big cocoon. Then Aadhan goes to a drawer and takes out a long narrow box. He crouches in front of Severus and opens it.
‘This was my mother’s.’ He says. ‘But I have an idea it will rather suit you. You are a Prince, Severus. Through and through.’
He pulls out a wand made of dark, almost black, wood. It is a simple design, with minimal detailing on the grip, but is beautifully made.

Aadan holds out the handle to his grandson. Severus extends his thin fingers and wraps them around the handle. A glow sweeps over him and extends both outwards, and inwards, reaching down into the still squirming and fidgeting depths of his magic. For the first time, perhaps ever, Severus feels calm, and strong.

Severus dresses in the sleek black slacks, white shirt, and velvet waistcoat that grandfather had chosen for him, and the elf Jeeji (short for Darjeeling naanee Saira’s favourite tea) had cleaned, pressed, and laid out. They were all going to London together today to shop at a place called Diagon Alley. Severus was a little excited, but also nervous about going somewhere that was not only new, but also would be full of magical shops and other wizards and witches. He loved magic, and was happy that he was allowed to practice it now and didn’t have to hide, but he still had a nagging guilt that it was something he was supposed to keep secret.

Grandfather seemed very pleased with him though. He was giving Severus lessons in focusing and controlling his magic, and every time he mastered a spell Aadhan’s face would light up in what Severus could only guess was pride. His grandfather could be tough and strict at times, but Severus worked hard, chasing that high that came with the looks of approval. It gave him a warm buzz beneath his ribs, and he basked in his grandfather’s praise.

When he is not having lessons with daada, Severus helps his mother in her lab, or in the garden. Eileen has been nurturing the herb garden, and managed to revive some of the specimens there which are useful for her potions. He also spends many hours reading in the quiet manor library, and has learned more than he ever could have dreamed about the wizarding world, and different types of magic, and he can’t wait to try it all. Mam had told naanee and daada that she thought he would be a powerful wizard one day, and he is determined to live up to her expectations.

Apparating is quite a stomach churning experience, but Severus manages to hold on to his breakfast and keep a straight face. They enter a pub that is not at all like the working man’s club where Tobias drinks. This place is old, and sort of creepy, but in a sort of good way. It feels as though it is filled with the essence of years and years of different folks who have all left a little imprint of themselves within the fibres of the building. There is an eclectic mix of clientele, intriguing snippets of conversations, and unusual things to see; like people appearing out of the fireplace, and a small person that looks like a wrinkly house elf, and a magical wall that disappears when you tap a certain brick. Severus takes it all in quietly, his dark eyes seeing everything, but his face giving nothing away.

Things only get more interesting when they enter Diagon Alley itself. They visit the robe makers where he gets fitted for a custom robe and suit – mam protests a little at that saying he will grow out of it in no time, but his grandparents insist. Then they go to the apothecary and cauldron store where it is Elina’s turn to be spoiled. Then there is the haberdashery where Saira spends what feels like hours choosing new curtain fabrics and wallpapers for the manor, insisting that Elina and Severus pick out something for their bedrooms. Severus chooses a dark fabric that has subtle hints of colour and tiny pricks of silver like a starry galaxy. Then there is the bookshop. All four enjoy the visit there. Even though the library at the manor is very well stocked, Severus cannot help fall in love with several volumes; some of which the adults argue about whether he should be allowed have.

Severus wants to read it all, wants to know it all. He doesn’t care what some minister in some office somewhere thinks is and isn’t “Dark Arts”. But he does care about pleasing his mother, and his grandparents, and not having anyone argue, so that they don’t have to leave again. He selects the volumes which he thinks will be least of an issue and hands them to his grandfather.
‘Just these ones please Sir.’ He asks respectfully, making a mental note of the other titles so that one day he may come back and buy them for himself.

After all of that Severus is utterly exhausted but naanee Saira – grandmother in public – insists they eat out. Severus has never been in a restaurant before, not even the takeaway down on Barton Street, and this is the second poshest place he’s ever been, after the manor. He has no idea what to do with himself, but he knows that the best thing to do when you’re not sure is just to keep quiet. He is handed a leather bound parchment that is almost like a book, with a seemingly endless list of foods that he doesn’t recognise. He closes it and looks down at the tablecloth, and shakes his head whenever someone asks him a question.

‘Do you know what you would like Severus?’
‘How about the salmon, you like fish don’t you?’
‘Or lamb, the lamb here is very good?’
‘Aren’t you hungry after such a busy morning?’
‘You must eat something.’

‘Leave him be.’ Eileen almost snaps.
It had been a tiring and overwhelming experience for anyone, let alone a young lad who’d never done anything close to any of this before. Sev was a quiet boy, some might say a bit odd, and when he did come out of his shell and speak he could be searingly honest to the point of being rude. Plus he was starting to show that Prince stubbornness and temper. If they were not careful her parents might see a side of their little prince that they were not so happy about.

Thankfully Aadhan and Saira do leave it, though obviously uncomfortable with the notion, and Eileen gives her boy one of their new books to look at while the rest of them eat. Back at the manor she sends Sev up to his room, and asks Jeeji to take him some bread and honey. She spends the afternoon setting up her lab with the new cauldrons, and storing the ingredients from the apothecary neatly in glass jars. Her parents had even insisted on buying her a brand new tool roll. She was grateful for all of it, but uncomfortable too. Seeing as she had all these new things now, perhaps she could pay them back – and Sharan back in Cokeworth – by making some money brewing potions.

It had always been Eileen’s – or Elina back then – dream to get her potions mastery, and go and work for one of the large brewers, or perhaps even have her own business. But between her parent’s wish for her to marry into a good family, and Tobias pulling her in the opposite direction, her own dreams had been lost along the way.

Right now her parents seemed to be trying really hard. They seemed happy that Elina and Severus had come home, and it had given them a new spark for life too. Mother was redecorating, and father throwing himself into teaching his grandson. But how long would that last? What about when they realised that their Elina was still the same weak, untalented girl that hated society lunches and favoured casual muggle clothing; who would rather be up to her elbows in a jar of flobberworms than shaking hands with well to do wizards. And what of her little Severus? Their little prince?

He was a good boy, and so eager to please his grandparents. Aadhan was quickly becoming enamoured with the studious, talented little boy, who could learn almost any spell within minutes. But did Aadhan really see Severus, or was he just a replacement for the son he had lost? And so far they had only seen one side of her Sev. Thanks to Tobias’ violent temper, Severus had learned quickly how to be quiet, how to hide, how to appease. But Eileen knew her son had another side to him too. He was clever, and observant, and powerful. She had noticed a familiar flicker of defiance in his dark eyes, and seen the flare of his anger. He kept those things shut up tight most of the time, but they were there, and if the pressure got too much they would escape.

Tobias had seen them too. It had frightened him, and fuelled his hatred of anything magical. Eileen had found ways to let Sev do little bits of magic here and there in secret, so that it wouldn’t all build up inside him. They walked everywhere as they rarely had money for the bus, and the physical exertion helped to regulate his temper. And she gave him as much to read as possible. It was a long way to the library on the other side of the river, but she took him as often as she could. Keeping his mind occupied kept him calm.

After their exhausting shopping expedition, Eileen persuades her father to leave off the lessons for a couple of days, and let Sev have some time to unwind. He spends the days out in the garden, picking flowers and leaves, collecting bugs, and practising his magic. Eileen tends to the herb garden and watches her son entertaining himself in silence, a scowl of concentration on his face as he holds up a beetle, then writes something in the little notebook which Aadhan had also bought him, before letting it go and watching it crawl away. In the evenings he sits in the library reading in the big armchair by the fire.

Eileen thanks the gods, and Sharan Talwar, that they have ended up here. And she thanks Severus for begging her to leave. What a remarkable little boy he was to have the will and foresight to do something that she, a grown woman, had been unable to. And lastly she gives a tiny little thanks to herself, because although she still hates herself for trusting in Tobias, and letting him take over her life, to control her, and beat her; although she despises the fact that she had stayed, even after he hit their son; although she had been a coward, made excuses for him, and hadn’t protected her child as his father beat him repeatedly with a belt; in the end, she had left.

It had been a close thing. She almost hadn’t done it. A split second decision made not thoughtfully or with a careful plan. It had been impulsive, and rash, and possibly slightly mad. Things were not perfect here either, far from it. But looking at her boy, her little half-blood prince, Elina Prince thinks that it was possibly the best decision she has ever made in her life.