Finally. Remus sighed in exasperation as he watched his final customer take their ridiculously overpriced jeans and leave, at last. Having spent the last 30 minutes trying to convince them that the hideously maroon trousers were worth their truly absurd cost, and lying his arse off in an attempt to do his job, he was well and truly ready to go home. Not getting Christmas Eve off was an irritating part of his job, but with five minutes left on his shift, Remus was definitely relieved to be done - and in time to catch his flight home, too.
Rolling on his heels, he reached into his pocket to grab his phone, meaning to text his parents that he’d be heading off soon. It’d be good to see them, despite his family not actually celebrating Christmas, the holiday was nicely timed around when everyone was getting tired of work and school.
'Pardon me! Hi, um, I was wondering, where’s the baby aisle?’ The voice jarred through Remus, oddly controlled in a way like they were trying not to talk too politely - for whatever reason - and he groaned inwardly.
Glancing over at the irritating customer inconveniencing him just as he’d been about to leave, he fully groaned audibly. He was an irritatingly attractive man; though Remus would never have admitted it, with sharp cheekbones, a guantly pale face and long, flourishing black hair that he shook over one shoulder as Remus stared blankly. Probably stared blankly for a bit too long, in retrospect, but he’d had a long day: who could blame him?
‘Hi. Um. Baby aisle. Right, sorry,’ Remus briefly rambled, before shoving his phone back in his pocket and spinning around to fully face his customer. ‘Which one? I’m afraid they’re annoyingly - that is, they’re split into boys and girls.’
‘Ah.’ A flash of something frustrated drifted onto the man’s face and left before Remus was even sure he’d seen it, before he quite literally shook himself and offered a brilliant smile instead. ‘Boys, first, I suppose.’
‘Right, so - that’s kind of the complete opposite direction. And two floors up.’ Remus frowned incredulously at the man, who at least had the decency to look abashed. ‘How did you end up here?’
‘I have … kind of a terrible sense of direction. Last Christmas, Jamie gave me a map.’
Ignoring the useless bead of disappointment in his chest when the man mentioned his presumed-partner, ‘Jamie’, Remus nodded and suppressed a sarcastic eye-roll. ‘Well, I’d better escort you. Seeing as that’s my job.’ But for pete’s sake, if you take more than five minutes of my time - Well, then Remus would be late and possibly miss his flight, which he’d already booked too close to the end of his shift. It was understandably difficult to get a flight at all on Christmas Eve. And he couldn’t actually do anything if this customer took ages, because as he’d said, it was his job.
‘Oh good.’ The customer’s face flooded with relief as he followed Remus towards the escalators, leading to the makeup, bath and toiletries floor and then to the children’s floor with the baby’s aisles. Specifically the boy’s aisle which was placed to the left of the escalator.
‘So, I’m Sirius,’ the man told Remus in what was apparently an attempt at amiable chatting as they rode past the flowery toiletries floor. Remus ignored him, focusing on showing no outward reaction to the overpowering smell that swarmed them as they transferred to the next escalator.
‘The boy’s baby aisle,’ Remus told the customer - Sirius - dryly as they finally made it to the children’s aisle. Sirius peered around eagerly as though expecting some miraculous treasure trove, only to be met with a frankly disappointing reality. Remus could practically pinpoint the moment his face fell, and he could see why: with its horribly sexist and just plain boring array of bizarre outfits and onesies, plus a few attempts at making toys that babies might enjoy, the baby’s selection wasn’t exactly fabulous.
‘Is this it?’ Sirius wandered further towards the overwhelmingly blue and grey clothing, fingering tiny t-shirts and sleepwear with a thoroughly worried expression on his face. ‘But they’re far too small!’
‘Too small?’ Remus paused, having been hoping to escape back down the other escalator, but apparently his duties were not yet over. ‘Didn’t you want baby clothes?’
‘Yes, but Harry - see, Harry’s, um, well, he is a baby, but -‘ floundering for words, Sirius waved his hands dramatically and promptly knocked a rack of small and quite ugly disposable nappies to the ground. ‘Ack!’ Grimacing, he crouched down and tried to scoop them up, only to headbutt a hanger and knock a variety of tiny baby clothes off as well.
Remus sighed and started forward. ‘Hang on, hang on,’ he muttered half-heartedly, shooing Sirius out of the way and continuing his attempts at tidying up with much more precision. ‘I’ll do this, you explain exactly what you’re looking for..’
While being decidedly unhelpful by trying to stack the nappies back up again, Sirius resumed talking in that same haphazard yet oddly persnickety manner. ‘Harry - that’s my best mate Jamie, James’ son - he’s basically a baby, but he’s big. Like … cat sized? No, bigger than a cat. He can’t walk yet but he can sit up now, if that helps.. I was going to-‘
‘Wait.’ Remus held a hand up for Sirius to stop as he put back the final onesie and began replacing the garishly designed Thomas the Tank Engine nappies. Once they were back in place, he turned to face the awkwardly standing Sirius and felt his hopes of making his flight float even further away from him. ‘Okay. How old is Harry?’
‘Seven months last week,’ Sirius said promptly, a wide smile blooming on his face. ‘He’s getting ever so big, but he is still a baby, so I thought the stuff here should fit him.’
‘Yeah, no, you were right.’ Remus briefly closed his eyes, trying to ignore his mounting headache and not quite give up all hope of catching his flight. It could be fine. That is in the baby aisle. Just, like, further on.’
Sirius clapped his hands together and peered around again, apparently trying to spot this ‘further on’ area. Barely restraining himself from laughing - and possibly going into hysterics - Remus led him around a display of jungle-themed bouncers and into a selection of larger baby clothes.
‘If he’s a larger baby, get 9-12 size clothes, and if he’s smaller, get 6-9,’ Remus told Sirius flatly, and Sirius’ eyes widened at the sight of the options.
‘Wait, which ones are 9-12?’ he veritably whined, reaching out to run his hands along dangling rompers. ‘And what will Harry like?’
Trying and ultimately failing to stifle a yawn, Remus leant forward to choose a garment at random. Checking its label, he noted it was the larger size and offered it to Sirius; it was a … well, not horrendously ugly little onesie with a fluffy hood adorned with sheep ears and a sheep motif on the front as well. ‘If he’s a baby, it doesn’t matter what he likes but what his parents like.’
‘James got attacked by a sheep once,’ Sirius protested, pushing the onesie away. ‘How about that one?’ His eyes shone eagerly as he pointed towards another outfit: a fleecy brown sleep-suit with a light-up red nose and reindeer antlers. ‘I just know that one would be perfect for him. Jamie’s nick-name is Prongs, y’know, like deer?’
I don’t know and nor do I care, Remus thought irritably, trying to ignore the endearing way this stranger rambled on about these people. ‘That’s toddler size, I don’t think it’ll fit a seven-month-old.’
‘But I just have to have it now!’
Surreptitiously checking the time on the large clocks dotted around the store, Remus felt his heart sink. He’d only make it if he left now and that didn’t appear to be going to happen. ‘Fine!’ he snapped, ‘I’ll find you a smaller size.’
Sirius dropped his eyes at once, glancing at the floor and away from Remus, and Remus felt regret deepen in his stomach as Sirius began picking nervously at his nails. ‘Sorry,’ he exhaled in an attempt at staying calm. ‘Sorry. I’ll find it. I just missed my flight home, is all.’
Sirius blinked slowly at Remus again, nodding absently. ‘Oh. That sucks. Wait, it wasn’t because of me, was it?’
Ignoring him, Remus began raking through the rows of clothes for a smaller version of the Rudolph-themed outfit. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Sirius doing the same, wandering rather uselessly around the corner and towards a different section of baby clothes, probably in yet again the wrong size. Snowman, penguin, stripes, sheep again, trains… what is it with baby clothes and trains?
‘Found one!’ Sirius yelped, and Remus straightened up from where he’d been looking beneath the racks. Oh, good. At least he could leave now, even if it was just to go back to his empty flat and not back home. He’d have to try and book a flight for Boxing Day instead, and even that might be difficult at this short notice. And he wouldn’t even see Mona - his greyhound - because she’d already been taken to the dog’s hotel that morning. Great, really great.
Sirius returned from the other side of the aisles and waved a smaller version of the romper at Remus, who was endlessly relieved to see that it did appear to be the right size. He refused to react to the oversized reindeer plushie Sirius was also apparently dragging around with him now, and instead mustered up a forced smile.
‘Great. The check-out’s on the ground floor.’
Sirius suddenly looked unexpectedly awkward, and he began picking at his nails again. ‘Um, could you… that, is, would you - er, what’s your name?’
Remus was hardly taken aback at this point and just told him point-blank, ‘Remus. And no “unique name” jokes because you can hardly talk, bloody Dog Star.’
‘I bet you’re not allowed to swear on the job, Remus,’ Sirius pointed out with unnecessary relish. ‘Anyway, I knew I recognized you! You’re Peter’s friend, aren’t you?’
‘What, you know Peter?’ Startled, Remus squinted at Sirius, trying to figure out if he knew him. ‘Wait, are you telling me James is Peter’s James? Who got married last year?’
‘To Evans - well, Lily Potter, now.’ Sirius nodded smugly. ‘The one and only.’
‘This is ridiculous,’ Remus told him plainly, and found the clock again. ‘But I’ve missed my plane completely now and I’m just gonna leave. Bye.’
‘Wait, wait! D’you wanna come to James and Lily’s for Christmas with me? Peter’ll be there, and some of our other friends, and we were gonna get Harry and Neville to sleep before having a mini celebration for Christmas Eve.’ Sirius’ eyes lit up again, and he bobbed up and down in clear excitement. ‘I was going to stay over for the actual day and I bet - I bet you could too.’
Feeling like this was easily going to be the most bizarre Christmas he’d ever experienced - which wasn’t saying much considering he’d never actively celebrated it - Remus figured, why not? ‘Alright,’ he agreed cautiously, ‘but you’d better pay for those while I grab my stuff.’