I know that if you hide,
it doesn't go away.
If you get out of bed
and find me standing all alone
Open-eyed, burn the page,
my little dark age.
- 'Little Dark Age' MGMT
Draco Malfoy was not in a good place. That was a fact.
Hogwarts was supposed to be his safe place. His paradise. An utopia. His utopia. So how did it all turn to shit?
He's only 15. 15 years old. 15. He just wanted to be a normal kid, with a normal life. He has to live up to so many expectations, so many responsibilities. But, he's only 15. They shouldn't even be his responsibilities in the first place. Right? Or is this normal, is this how a kid's life is supposed to be? Maybe he's dramatic. But if this is normal, why does everyone else seem so happy? Why is he the only miserable one?
'Maybe you're supposed to fake it,' he thinks.
So that's what he does; he puts up a façade.
-
Everyday he walks around Hogwarts, every day is the same.
Blaise, Theo, or Pansy asks the same question, "Are you ok? You don't look so well."
He puts on a smile, "Oh yeah, just thinking about the next Quidditch game."
He puts on a smile, but the smile never reaches his eyes.
-
A year passes, and everyday was the same smirk, the same smile, the same laugh, the same everything. It's tiring, it's exhausting, but most of all its deteriorating. It's constant damage, constant pain.
It does not stop.
Everytime he looks down his forearm, he feels bile rising in his throat. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't supposed to be his life.
Yet he has a task.
'A simple task really." Voldemort said, "Kill Albus Dumbledore."
Oh yes. Ever so simple. Kill one of the greatest wizards of all time. Kill someone you were supposed to look up to.
True, Dumbledore isn't the greatest to anyone but Gryffindor. But, he was still there, he still could've helped.
But it's too late now. No one can help. The only person he can trust is himself. It's sad but true.
But yes, kill someone that he couldn't ever kill. Makes perfect sense.
Oh yeah, and fix a device he knows nothing about, so he could let some raving lunatics into that castle. And keeps his grades up. And make sure he bests Harry Potter in everything. And keep the Malfoy legacy going. And so on.
So much for a perfect fucking life.
-
Draco has had enough.
Snape has offered his help, but he doesn't even want it.
He doesn't want to do it anymore. He wants to give up.
And that's exactly what he's gonna do.
-
Hot tears streaming down his face. Trying not to bawl. Trying to think that this is what's best for him and his family. Screams are echoing off of the wall. Not his own though. He just gets to stand there and watch. For now.
One word, and he feels as if he's going to break. And the crucio isn't even towards him.
He wants them to know that he's sorry. This is for the best though.
He can barely breathe through this fucking mask though. He feels like hyperventilating. His eyes aren't visible through the mask, so he chooses not to look at the body writhing on the floor. He stares ahead at the wall.
Two words, and he lets out a small sob. "Avada Kedavra." and a laugh by the Dark Lord. The green light is blinding, yet he's not looking at the body. He can't look at the body, the image will be plagued into his mind. A woman starts sobbing on the side of him.
But he distracts himself, says his little affirmation. This is all for the best. It'll be better this way.
Another crucio is cast on another person, and the sound of a body thudding on the ground. The woman's screams are deafening. That's what he tries to convince himself. He doesn't know this woman screaming and hurting on the floor. She is simply just a female on the ground.
But she's not though.
The crucio seems to go on for hours and hours. Until finally, "Avada Kedavra."
His world shatters. It's gotta be for the best, right?
It's gotta be.
Suddenly his mask is pulled off. The Dark Lord looks intently onto his face. He puts his hand on his face, and lifts Draco's head so that their eyes meet.
The Dark Lord puts on a immoral grin. "Are you ready to join your parents young Malfoy?"
The tears don't stop, they just fall harder.
The grin fades from The Dark Lords face, and flashes into anger. "Coward. Look at the two bodies in front of you. That's on you. Look at them, and say your last goodbyes. Go on."
Draco's pushed on his knees towards the two corpses. "I'm sorry Mother and Father."
"Crucio."
He's been hit with this curse before, but nothing like this. It's like a jolt of electricity flowing through his veins. The electricity spreads throughout, and it feels like his veins are bursting open from it. His head is pounding, splitting open, and pulsing. His mind is spinning, and he feels like he's slowly going insane by the second. He asks himself if he's really ready for death. Is anyone ever ready for death? The curse doesn't hurt as much though, he knows he's going to die. It must be the fear that hurts more. His mind is reeling with questions that demand a answer. Is there anything waiting on the other side? It feels like hours pass, question after question going through his mind, doesn't stop until it stops.
The Dark Lord walks up into his field of view. "Tut tut, I had so much hope in you, young Malfoy."
He looks around at the people watching, and the grin reappears, "Oh well."
He raises his wand and "Avada Kedavra!"
-
Death didn't feel as he expected it would. He expected pain, something.
It was just that he was there one second, and the next, it was total darkness.
The darkness soon faded into light, and when he opened his eyes, he was all alone, standing in a room of light.
This better be his fucking Happily Ever After.