Chapter 3
June 1991
Sirius vaguely remembers the day he first set eyes on his baby brother, he was around 1 ½ when his brother was born, his parents wanted to make sure that they would be in different years at Hogwarts. He shouldn’t be able to remember anything from that age, after all kids only start remembering things from around 3 but it was this in particular that he could never forget. The very first thing was his brother in the arms of Kreacher, opening his eyes to him and giving a small smile. It was his first. The second was his mother telling him that Regulus’ well-being was in his hands, Sirius was his older brother and that made it his job to watch over and protect his baby brother, and so Sirius did.
When Regulus was 7 he accidentally broke his mothers’s ugly, 100 year old vase while trying to get back his toy broomstick that had gotten confiscated earlier when he crashed it into a tree, Sirius took the blame saying that he was running in the hallways. That was the first time his mother had used an Unforgivable on him, she had imperioed him to clean up the shards of ceramic, making sure he paid no mind to the deep cuts getting inflicted on this hands.. Of course there were times where he couldn’t get his brother out of trouble, but Sirius always made sure to patch him up well afterwards.
When Sirius was 10, Regulus had the idea to replace their mother’s china set with nose biting tea cups, their mother had been furious. When they got confronted by their mother, one look at Regulus’ pale, terrified face was enough for Sirius to immediately claim full responsibility. So to see his brother being drowned by the Infiri, trying everything he can to survive, trying to hold on in hopes of winning against them but those efforts ending up being futile. That will stay with him forever.
It was supposed to be his job to make sure Regulus was safe, it’s his duty to make sure nothing like this ever happens. Sirius is supposed to be the older brother, the protector, the one his younger brother can rely on for anything and everything.
Sirius had clamped his eyes shut when the light appeared, when it was no longer visible behind the lids of eyes so he slowly opened one eye first, then the other. His hand was still firmly holding Regulus’, looking down Sirius saw his head lolled to the side and his eyes were closed. Regulus looked dead, no, no, no, no, NO.
Using all his strength, he quickly pulled his brother up from the now still waters of the cave and rolled him onto his back on the floor of the little platform that he was on. Taking note of the blue lips that the unconscious boy had and how his chest were still instead of moving up and down as they should, Sirius' chest tightened with an overwhelming sense of panic, his breaths coming in shallow gasps as the gravity of the current situation sank in. The cave around him blurred till the only clear thing was the motionless body of Regulus in front of him, a cold sweat broke out on his forehead as the suffocating grip of fear threatened to consume him. Shakily he pointed his wand at him, he had to try something to save him. Renervate.
At first there was nothing, and Sirius’ heart dropped, he was too late.
Then coughing and sputtering, Regulus began to gain consciousness.
“Water,” A raspy request came from the disoriented boy still laying on the ground.
Sirius conjured a cup, Aguamenti. The cup drained as soon as it was filled, he tried again, it drained again. It must be the cave, there were barriers preventing the water from being conjured. Sirius didn’t want to risk getting from some of the lake water in case the Inferi reanimated, not to mention he didn't want his brother getting sick from drinking water that has been home to rotten corpses for who knows how long, either way it looked like they’re not getting clean water in this cave. Speaking of water, Sirius looked back into the lake that had been unrestful just a few minutes ago. The bodies seemed to be at rest, perhaps the light scared them off, it was fire that defeated Infiri so maybe the light was close enough. However, Sirius really did not want to test that theory, time to get his brother.
Regulus did not look like the right condition to apparate, his face was still devoid of colour and although he had been able to drag himself up to a sitting position, it still looked shaky enough that a gust of wind could probably knock him down. They couldn’t stay though, Sirius didn’t think it was possible to apparate out of here, logically he knew that if it was a possibility then Regulus probably would've done so already. Well isn’t that just great, now they’re gonna have to go all the way back across the bloody lake.
Sirius stood up and faced the water once more, he placed the useless goblet on the surface of the water and with a flick of his wand, the once dull metal goblet turned into a small boat similar to the ones used to cross the Black Lake back in first year. Satisfied with what he created, he grabbed his brother under his arms and began hauling him into the boat, letting his feet drag along the floor. Regulus was concerningly light like way lighter than an 19 year old boy should be, at least 30 pounds underweight. It was during this that Sirius also realised how long and shaggy Regulus’ hair had become, it was starting to resemble his own. There were also dark circles under his eyes, when was the last time Regulus slept? Or just took care of himself in general?
Sirius knew that Regulus wasn’t going to be in the best shape, he was a Death Eater that hadn’t been seen out in months and had a track record of no value for self preservation. Sirius remembers looking at the map during the height of exam season and seeing Regulus’ name firmly planted at one of the seats in the library. Sometimes Sirius wanted to go down there and force him out of the library and back to his dorm but it wasn’t worth the argument it would cause, Regulus was too stubborn to listen to him, especially after everything that happened.
At some point during the process of comfortably settling Regulus into the boat, he had fallen unconscious again but at least now his lips were less blue and there was a steady rise and fall in his chest. That fucking idiot almost died tring to do Merlin knows what, why was he even in this cave in the first place? Sirius turned his gaze to the younger boy laying on the hard wooden planks of the dingy, he may have just saved Regulus’ life but he was about to kill that bastard all over again if he didn’t have a bloody good reason for almost dying.
Another flick of Sirius’ wand and the boat set sail at a rapid pace, he looked around at the cave walls, nothing too interesting, there was still a green glow from the basin in the middle but overall it just seemed like a normal cliffside cave. But Sirius knew different, he knew better. Sirius had grown up with all different types of dark magicks, there were powerful wards around this cave, they felt familiar though, he couldn’t exactly place where they were and where he knew them from but he had felt them before, he was sure of it. Sirius spent the remainder of the ride wondering where to take he brother, he couldn’t take him home, the flat didn't have the right equipment needed to deal with dark magic like this and Rem would kill him if he brought a Death Eater to their home.
Were the circumstances different he would’ve gone to Lily, but that was out of the question, Sirius couldn't endanger them, especially since it’s their son that Voldemort is after. He couldn’t go to St Mungos, that was too dangerous, it would all lead to too many questions and would likely lead to either Sirius dying or Regulus getting carted off to Azkaban. Logically, Sirius knows that Regulus deserves it, but there was no way he was letting him out of his sight before he got the whole story. The only place that had the correct equipment needed and was least likely to ask questions and get killed was Grimmauld Place. From what he heard from the Daily Prophet, Orion was deathly ill so no need to worry about that, hopefully Walburga would be willing to put the survival of her precious youngest son over killing Sirius. Plus, there was nothing that a good stunner couldn’t do, especially now that the old hag was reaching old age.
Just as he reached the conclusion, the dingy gently bumped against the ledge of rock that signified his destination. Sirius looked at brother, he may be slightly less pale and lips a normal colour, but those scratches all over his body did not look good. The biggest stretched along the length of his torso, the claws had ripped through his robes and dark blood was oozing out from where the skin had been penetrated. If that wasn’t patched up quickly Regulus was going to bleed out, the other scratches weren’t as severe but they definitely didn’t help. Crap.
Sirius rubbed his hand over his face in frustration and exhaustion, this was all so confusing. What even was this place? Why were there Infiri here? Why-
Sirius' train of thought was abruptly put on pause as a pained groan filed the cloud of silence that was once upon them, his brother had woken up once more. Turning his head down, Sirius saw Regulus gently push himself to a sitting position with a confused look on his face as if trying to figure out what was going on here. Regulus looked how Sirius felt.
“Can you walk?’ Sirius asked softly, offering him a hand.
Regulus could only nod and grabbed onto his waiting hand.
Sirius hauled his brother up to his feet and helped him back out of the little dingy that had started dilapidating, putting one of the younger boy’s arms over his shoulder and his arm under Regulus’. Hunched over, Sirius walked over to where he had entered the cave before, thank Merlin Regulus was awake and able to partially walk by himself or it would've been an impossible challenge to get out. The cut he’d made on the back of his hand to enter hadn’t dried yet, since the cave entrance hadn’t opened when they situated themselves in front of it, Sirius made an educated guess. Wearily he pressed the back of his hand against the cold cave wall and to no surprise the cave walls parted and allowed them access to the outside world.t. He’d only then noticed the stinging, too distracted by everything going on to have noticed it beforehand. There was no point walking around with blood dripping from his hand so quickly he reached into his pocket and healed the minor wound.
The moment Sirius stepped foot out of the cave however, he felt different. It was like a wave of something had passed through him, it was almost overwhelming, almost so that because of it he tripped and nearly fell. Regulus put more weight on him so Sirius could assume that he felt it too. It must’ve been an effect of them passing through the wards of the cave, he’s felt it before though they were never that strong. However, there was no time to focus on that, they had come this far and he was not going to let his brother die after all that, not when they were so close to being out. With that final thought, Sirius apparated to the place he swore he would never set food in again.
Number 12, Grimmauld Place
Regulus had always pondered what would happen once he died. He contemplated ghost hood quite a bit when he was younger, he was scared of what would happen beyond so he wanted to stay on earth, where it was simple, where there was a routine. However, as he grew older he realised there were other worse things than the unexpectancy of what came after death, a couple of which he had experienced himself. He was curious if anyone would miss him if he died prematurely, his mother might but she would probably miss the heir in him rather than the person he was. Sirius hated him since he took on the mark so he doubted there would be any tears shed there, father was already on his deathbed and wouldn’t even notice that his son had died. Perhaps Barty and Pandora would miss him, right now they’re his only friends and the only people who truly loved and cared for him as him and not the Black heir. There used to be others, Evan and Dorcas, but they’re dead now, their lives taken too early by the war that wasn’t theirs to begin with and destroyed all of our lives.
Regulus wasn’t suicidal but he would warmly welcome death when the time came.
So that's why he wasn’t exactly fussed that he died, in all honesty he was kind of relieved. No more fighting, just peace. Well depending on whether or not he would make it to the promised lands and not be thrown into the eternal flames of hell. Maybe he deserved it, he joined a sadistic cult who murdered people over things they couldn’t control. Once he took a step back and looked at it from a stranger’s perspective, all he could think about was how trivial it was. The cause that had taken the lives of loved ones was all so childish, they couldn’t fight the existence of muggleborns and claimed they stole magic from purebloods when muggleborns have probably existed since the beginning of magic. Hell, purebloods probably all started off as muggleborns. He couldn’t believe just how far he had been sucked into it all, so much so to a point where he actually believed it, that belief however ended quickly after he witnessed the torture an innocent half-blood child of two muggle-borns before viciously killing all three of them. They had pleaded with them to take mercy on them and as much as he wanted to help, he couldn’t, otherwise it was his head on the chopping block along with them. It was that moment that had started to make him realise how wrong it all was. Afterwards he started researching more and more till it came to a point that he no longer could deny the facts.
He always knew Dorcas was exceptionally powerful, especially for a halfblood but at that time Regulus just thought she was an exception. He knows better now. If only 14yr old Regulus could see himself now, beliefs aligning more with his disowned brother than his parents. Little him would have a heart attack.
Regulus had walked into that cave expecting to die and be cast down into hell, honestly he probably deserved it. It was too late to change anything now, he was dead and nothing could change that. Amidst his hazy thoughts as he calmly drifted from the land of the living to the land of the dead he heard a noise, a whisper almost.
“Please, wake up”
Since when can dead people hear?
He was amidst extreme confusion when he heard it again. The voice was faint but there
“Come on Reg, you need to wake up. Please, you need to wake up.”
All of a sudden everything rushes back to him, the hand bringing him back up to the surface, his brother putting him on the boat and helping him leave the cave. He can’t be dead, he made it out of the cave, he didn’t drown. He has to wake up, his brother is there, waiting for him.
But how? How does he wake up? How does one wake up when they’re supposed to be dead?
Here goes nothing
With determination he wretched his eyes open and gulped in air like he had never breathed before.
“Oh thank Merlin,” Regulus watched as Sirius fell to the ground with pure relief.
They were alive, they were both alive, but wait.
Regulus didn’t notice it at first but he sees it now. Maybe he actually did die, or maybe this is all some dream because although the boy on the ground was Sirius, it was a Sirius he hadn’t seen for a long time…The boy on the ground looked like an 11 yr old Sirius Black.