Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight, 11pm.
-J.P
That’s all the note said, and yet it had his heart pounding and cheeks flushing. Merlin im pathetic Regulus thinks as he sits in his bed. To Regulus it was insane how mere acknowledgement from someone could have such an effect on him, but he had learned long ago that James loved the effect he had on Regulus and regularly teased him about it.
Returning to school for his 6th year had certainly been interesting, suddenly his brother's best friend seemed to take an interest in him. Their first meeting had been accidental, Regulus was simply stargazing on the astronomy tower after curfew when James stumbled upon him. It was awkward of course; with James' hatred of the Black family - minus Sirius - and Regulus blaming James for taking his brother away. So they didn’t speak, only stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments before James slowly started backing away towards the door.
After that first meeting it seemed like fate kept pushing them together in any way possible. Soon they were bumping into each other in the corridors, or one of them would find their eyes straying towards the other in the great hall, and multiple times they stumbled upon each other at the astronomy tower.
Sometimes they’d immediately part ways, avoiding eye contact and rushing away from each other; but other times they’d pause for a few moments and just stare awkwardly before leaving. Until one night when James found Regulus reading on the astronomy tower, instead of going back to wherever he came from, James spoke.
“Why do you hate me?” he had asked.
Just like that the unspoken agreement they had that they wouldn’t speak to each other was shattered.
Regulus remembers pausing for a few seconds - perhaps out of shock - before responding.
“I don’t want to speak to you Potter, so just let me read in peace.” Regulus responded.
“Well I want to speak to you Black.” James had fired back almost immediately.
“Why, can you not see I’m busy? Or are you really so blind you can’t see what’s happening right in front of you?” he had answered.
James paused for a few seconds before letting out a long sigh and running his hand through his hair. “Can we just have an actual conversation?” James had asked.
“No.” Regulus had bluntly stated, before collecting his things and standing. James seemed a bit on edge now, but Regulus hardly cared what he was nervous about. Surprisingly James let him leave without attempting to speak again.
The next few nights while Regulus was either reading or stargazing James would come to him. He’d try to initiate a conversation, and always asked the same question, why do you hate me?
Eventually Regulus got so annoyed that he started avoiding heading to the astronomy tower, and that was it.
Until James cornered him in one of the dungeon corridors.
Regulus had been on his way back from his patrol around the dungeons when it happened. James had grabbed his arm and pulled him into a dark corner before asking where he was the last few nights. To say Regulus was weirded out would be an understatement, apparently Potter was stalking him now?
“What do you want, Potter?” Regulus had said while trying to get out of the other boy's grip.
James had answered back “I- you weren’t at the astronomy tower the last few nights”.
“So? What does it mean to you?” Regulus replied boredly.
James appeared upset now, almost as if he didn’t quite know what it meant to him.
“I just- I don’t know, I was worried you got sick or something”
“You saw me in the great hall earlier, and I was perfectly fine then. So what is it you really want?” Regulus shot back defiantly.
“I don’t know” James had confusedly responded. “I don’t know why I’m doing any of this, but I want to know why you hate me”
Regulus’ face had twisted into an annoyed scowl now. Regulus liked to pride himself on his patience; he likes to think that he is an excellently patient person, but he’d had a long day and was sick of James annoying him.
“Merlin, just leave me alone Potter!” he had said angrily.
“Not until you tell me why you hate me so much! I never did anything to make you hate me!” James had urgently responded.
Another thing Regulus liked to take pride in was his control over his emotions, but James was truly frustrating him now.
“You and your group, you all took my brother from me!” Regulus heatedly said.
James looked extremely annoyed now, “We took Sirius from you? No, he ran away because your family is full of pathetic abusive assholes!”
Regulus immediately responded, “I don’t care that he ran away, I knew it would happen! But thanks to you Potter he hasn’t spoken to me the same since he left for Hogwarts!”
“How is that my fault at all?” James asked.
“He only stopped spending time with me after becoming friends with you!” Regulus answered.
“That’s only because-” James' response was cut short by the sound of a cat meowing.
James immediately turned to face the sound and promptly paled;
“Mrs. Norris”
Regulus could see the problem here for James, he had no right to be out of bed after hours and had already been in enough trouble with Filch for a lifetime. James may be a prankster, but he absolutely hated getting caught.
Regulus was about to turn around and leave James there to be inevitably caught by Filch when the other boy suddenly grabbed his wrist and started dragging him down the hallway.
Regulus started protesting the contact immediately; “Potter! Let go of me”
“No can do Reggie, we are not going to get caught by Filch” James had whispered, without loosening his grip at all as he continued to pull the younger boy.
Regulus was really starting to wonder if James was always this stupid or if his brain was just not working right now, “Merlin Potter, I’m a prefect! If anyone's getting in trouble it’s you”
James paused at that, slowly turning back around to face Regulus with a slightly embarrassed look on his face.
“Oh, right. Sorry, guess it slipped my mind”
Regulus really should’ve been mad, Potter had wasted his time, annoyed him, grabbed him, dragged him down a hallway, and then forgotten to use that stupid brain of his.
Really, Regulus thinks he ought to be mad. Perhaps he should’ve been mad enough to hex James, or even leave him there to get caught by Filch.
But suddenly he’s aware that he’s not mad at James, not at all actually.
Now that makes him mad.
“Whatever, just leave me alone” he says, frustration evident in his tone.
James looked a bit dejected now, as if Regulus had just stormed into his birthday party and smashed everything.
“But I still don’t get why you hate me”
“Merlin! I explained it already, and I’m not interested in doing it again” Regulus had responded.
“Sirius treating you differently had nothing to do with me!” James had pointed out, starting to sound a bit frustrated as well.
Regulus’ last bit of patience with everything was snapping away.
“I know!” he’d said angrily.
“If you know it had nothing to do with me then why do you hate me so much?” James had asked desperately.
“Because it’s easier! It’s easier to pretend like it’s all your fault for taking Sirius away, it’s easier for me to hate you!” Regulus really thinks he needs to get control over what comes spewing out of his mouth, and- oh shit was he crying?
James looked concerned now; “Oh shit Reg, are you okay?”
James quickly grabbed Regulus by the arm and pulled him into his body. If Regulus could do anything but sob at this point he would have struggled, but instead he accepted the comfort warily.
James continued to rub his hand up and down Regulus’ back and occasionally he’d whisper small phrases of comfort.
After he had sufficiently calmed down, Regulus realised what was happening. He was hugging James Potter, in the middle of the dungeons, he had sobbed in front of James Potter.
Regulus tried to pull away but James wasn’t letting him go. “Reg, it’s okay. Everyone needs comfort sometimes”
Regulus had realised that perhaps James was right, he hadn’t been comforted while he was crying since before Sirius left for his first year of school. Overall, it was nice. There were only a few problems, it was James Potter who was comforting him, and his parents could never find out. Regulus quickly discarded those thoughts, he could deal with that later. For now, he was content to stand here in James’ comforting embrace.
After that night things changed between Regulus and James. Regulus started visiting the astronomy tower every night again, and James started meeting him there. It wasn;t the same as before, it was nice, it was comfortable. They had conversations, and Regulus learned that James is much smarter than he seemed to be. Even James’ stupid pranks had grown on Regulus.
After a few weeks things changed again, small accidental touches didn’t seem so accidental anymore. And the space between them as they sat together seemed to shorten every night. Slowly they had gotten more comfortable with the lingering touches, and began to intertwine their hands whilst they spoke, or sometimes they’d simply sit in silence, content just being in each other's presence.
Eventually those small touches had become more.
One night Regulus had paused in his speech about his latest potions class, when he turned to find James’ face much closer than it previously had been. James had this look in his eye, like he was staring at Regulus’ soul, unveiling every single thing he’d hidden or suppressed over the years. James' gaze was beautiful, his eyes were such a brilliant shade of hazel that reminded Regulus of some pretty stone he’d seen in a muggle shop with Pandora. Usually Regulus hated feeling exposed, but James' gaze felt gentle, like there was no judgement whatsoever for what he would find. Regulus was so overwhelmed with emotions, comfort, security, peace, happiness, all things that James had caused.
Slowly James’ eyes moved away from Regulus’ eyes, covering every inch of his face. Regulus felt quite like a painting in that moment, a painting, and James was an artist slowly memorising every detail of his masterpiece. Regulus felt beautiful, James was looking at him as if he was the most breathtaking creature he’d ever seen. James was looking at him how Regulus noticed his brother looking at that werewolf friend of his. James was looking at him how he used to look at Lily Evans, and in that moment Regulus felt sorry that she would never have the pleasure of feeling James look at her like this again.
Eventually James’ eyes wandered all the way down to Regulus’ lips, suddenly feeling his mouth dry, Regulus licked his lips. James’ eyes tracked the movement, and he sighed deeply. Before Regulus had gotten a chance to question why he had sighed James was moving forward.
It was not the kind of cliche kiss that happens in the muggle novels Pandora lent him, there was no sudden bright burst of fireworks, there was just James.
Regulus could feel his whole body heat up and he swore his heart practically stuttered for a moment. The kiss was overwhelming, it was overwhelmingly James, Regulus loved it. He supposed if it was anyone else he would’ve disliked it but this was James, and there was no one Regulus wanted to be so overwhelmed by other than James.
Regulus decided at this moment that nothing else mattered anymore, he would do anything as long as James would keep kissing him like this.