The Knife Twists Deeper
“Sirius?” James’s voice came from behind him, quiet and tentative.
“I don’t want to talk about it, James,” Sirius muttered, his voice low and strained.
“I know.”
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, the tension thick between them.
“But I think you should,” James said softly.
Sirius spun around, his eyes blazing. “He thinks I’m a stranger, James! Did you hear him? He said my name isn’t Sirius. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?” His voice cracked, anger giving way to anguish.
“I can guess…” James began cautiously, but Sirius cut him off, his voice rising.
“You can guess? You can fucking guess?” His hands trembled as he wiped at his face, tears streaming unchecked. “I’ve loved him since I was eleven, James. Eleven. And now? Now he doesn’t even know who the fuck I am!”
“Sirius…” James tried again, but Sirius wasn’t done.
“And the worst part?” His laugh was bitter, almost a snarl. “He thinks he’s six years old. Six. Our Moony—the smartest bastard I’ve ever met. The one who uses words so big we’d have to ask him to dumb them down. The one who’s probably read every single bloody book in the library by now. He’s gone. And what’s left? A scared little boy who doesn’t even remember us.”
James stayed silent, his face etched with pain as he watched his best friend unravel.
Sirius’s voice broke on the next words, his hands balling into fists. “And you know the cherry on top, James? The thing that really twists the knife?” He looked up, his eyes glistening with rage and sorrow. “My brother did this to him. My fucking brother.”
James felt his chest tighten. He knew Sirius was hurting, but seeing him like this—completely raw and undone—made it almost unbearable. Without a word, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sirius, pulling him into a hug.
Sirius froze for a moment, then let out a shuddering breath as his head dropped onto James’s shoulder. His body shook as he clung to him, silent tears soaking James’s shirt. James didn’t move, didn’t say anything, just held him. He wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say that would make it better.
Minutes passed before Sirius finally pulled away, sniffling. He wiped at his face, his movements stiff and awkward. “I think we should go back up…” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “Wouldn’t want to leave Pete with him for too long.”
James nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.”
As they climbed the stairs, James cast a sideways glance at Sirius. His friend’s face was still etched with pain, but there was a flicker of resolve in his eyes now. Whatever happened next, they’d face it together.