Chapter 5
Pansy knows this is a war. She knew there would be casualties. She knew people would die.
But this… She wasn’t prepared for this.
There are so many dead in the Great Hall. Too many.
Lupin and the pink-haired witch Pansy had learned was his wife are laid out next to each other. One of the Weasley twins is a few feet away from them.
Pansy has to stifle a scream when she sees two familiar people. Colin and Lavender.
Parvati, Seamus, and Dean are sitting next to Lavender’s still body, Parvati holding the girl’s hand and Seamus halfway in Dean’s lap with the other boy’s arms around him. Parvati looks up when Pansy gets closer and practically leaps to her feet.
She wraps Pansy in a tight hug, crying into her shoulder. Pansy hugs her back just as tight, trying in vain to blink away the tears she feels springing in her eyes.
She doesn’t want to know what happened to her friend, but she also wants to know who’s responsible for killing this girl.
But Pansy just hugs Parvati as they both cry and mourn the loss of their friends.
The only thing Pansy can think about is how they’re too young for this. They’re too young to be fighting in this war, too young to be losing people to it, too young to be involved at all. This is a war the older generations were responsible for, and yet somehow that responsibility has fallen to Pansy’s generation.
Parvati pulls away, eyes puffy and red, and all Pansy can do is return the look Parvati is giving her, one filled with so much pain and heartbreak.
She kneels next to Seamus and Dean and puts a hand on Seamus’s shoulder. He looks up at her, and it’s telling that not even this boy is able to crack a smile to make people feel better. He buries his face in Dean’s chest again, and the other boy kisses the top of his head.
Dean looks at Pansy and reaches out to squeeze her shoulder once, briefly, before returning his hand to Seamus’s back.
Pansy looks out at the rest of the bodies lined up in the Great Hall and sees Daphne, Draco, Blaise, and Theo standing together around another body. Her heart almost stops.
She can’t see who they’re standing by, so she stands and makes her way to them.
It’s Vincent.
Blaise is the one to pull her into a hug first, and the other three quickly join in.
It reminds Pansy of their first few years at Hogwarts. If somebody was upset, the others would wrap them in a group hug and they’d all stay there for a while.
They haven’t done this in years.
Pansy’s missed the group hugs, but… if she’d known the cost to get another one was the loss of her friends… she would gladly have gone the rest of her life without another group hug.
It’s a war, and she knew that going into it, but while she prepared to fight, she did not prepare to lose the people she cares about.
How many more have to die for You Know Who to leave them all alone?
Pansy sees Harry slip out of the Great Hall and practically sprints to catch up to him.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” she asks. He spins around, drawing his wand. He lowers it when he sees her standing with her arms crossed.
“Going for a walk,” he says lamely. Pansy raises an eyebrow.
“Uh-huh. And by that you mean you’re going to give yourself up?”
“What do you care, Parkinson?” he spits. “I’m not your friend!”
“But Ginny is!” Pansy says. “Luna is. Neville is. Seamus, Parvati, the list goes on! Do you really think any of them are going to be okay if you go off on a fucking suicide mission?”
“My whole life has been a suicide mission. The prophecy literally says neither can live while the other survives.”
“Prophecies are bullshit. Maybe Dumbledore believed in them, but they never mean what you think they do. And anyway, who’s to say you’ve got to be the one who dies?”
“I don’t know!” Harry says, pushing his hand through his hair. “But look at how many have died because of me! I have to go! I have to give myself up so no one else dies.”
“You’re an idiot,” Pansy says. “You really think you’re the only reason this has happened? If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else. Some people don’t need a reason to be awful, and You Know Who is one of them!”
“But-”
“And maybe Dumbledore and Snape made you think your life isn’t worth anything, and that you have to put everyone else’s happiness and wellbeing over your own, but I think your friends would disagree. Your life means something to them, and it should mean something to you, but either way, your life matters! You matter.”
There are footsteps behind her and Pansy turns to see Ron and Hermione. They take one look at Harry and seem to know exactly what he’s trying to do.
“You’ve lost your mind if you think we’re going to let you go, mate,” Ron says.
“Ron-”
“No. I’m not losing another brother, Harry.”
“And if you insist on going and giving yourself up, we’re going with you,” Hermione adds.
“Prophecies are bullshit, anyway,” Ron agrees. Harry tilts his head to the side.
“I think you three would have been friends if things were different,” he tells Ron, Hermione, and Pansy.
“We’re not dead yet,” Hermione says. “Who’s to say it won’t happen?” she asks, looking at Pansy. Pansy gives her a small smile. She thinks they could get along.
“Come on. We’re going back to the Great Hall. McGonagall needs to talk to everyone,” Ron says, holding his hand out to Harry. Harry takes it, reaching out his other hand to Hermione. As Hermione takes his hand, she reaches her other hand out to take Pansy’s, and the four of them walk back together.
Really, they could be friends.
They just have to survive this first.