Fate

In the Gryffindor dormitories, Peter was trying and failing to put up a poster of naked girls on his wall, copying Sirius. Sirius and Remus were looking far too cosy and sat on Remus’ bed together with Remus helping Sirius with his homework. The door opened up and James waltzed in, “Pads, you’re never gonna believe who I was at detention with.” 

“Heya Prongs,” Pete greeted him, and Remus waved at James. 

“Who?” Sirius asked curiously, head flinging up from where he was laid. 

“You alright Pete, Moony,” he says, greeting them back, going back to the conversation with Sirius, “Your brother.” Everytime Regulus gets mentioned in front of Sirius he freezes up, his expression foreign to everyone, like a switch has been flicked and he’s been forced to rewatch all his horrid memories with his brother in that retched, broken family. 

“Oh. I thought you were gonna say you snogged up a chick in there, not the idiot being my brother.” he rolled his eyes and went back to laying with Remus on the bed. 

“Having fun there, Wormy?” James glanced up at Peter struggling with the poster, somehow managing to stick himself to the wall instead of the poster of naked girls. After minutes of Sirius and James howling in laughter and Remus tutting with a comedic small smile painting on his lips, they finally unstuck Pete and casted the poster to the wall. 

“Perfect! Thanks Prongs!” Peter jumped out of his bed and ran off to the bathroom. 

Then James caught a very troubled Remus staring at one of the posters, looking thoroughly stressed at the sight of the girls. James bites back a grin. “Do you really have to have these up? I feel like it’s inconsiderate, and it invalidates women’s bodies.”

“Come on, Moony, the picture is of a sexy pretty lady. What’s not to like?” Sirius says, sitting up. 

“It’s disturbing to me.” Remus answered. James could see he was looking quite uncomfortable with this conversation. 

“It’s just because me and Moony are so in love with each other, he can’t bear to look at other people because I’m too fit for anyone else to fit his standards.” James comes to the rescue with Peter wandering back in the room. Remus scoffs, the Marauders have this game where they tease Remus with their daft silliness.

“Isn’t that right Pete? Me and Moony make hot, sweaty love to each other, we’re barely inseparable.” James asks, with laughs in the background.

“In your dreams, Prongs.” Remus says, rolling his eyes at his friends’ foolish antics. 

“Hm? Oh yeah, they go right at it. Pads, I know you’re one of the deepest sleepers, but I really don't know how your ears aren’t wounded with their noises every night.”

Suddenly, pillows have been thrown at them all with supersonic speed, yelping and screaming filled the room up with the culprit being Remus with a silly smirk on his face, twiddling his wand in between his fingers.

“Oh Moons, that was the worst mistake you’ve made.” Sirius says, slowly picking up the number of pillows he can gather up into his hands before roaring out “Pillow fight!!!!!” He plunged into Remus and attacked him with the amount of strength he could muster up, James and Peter jumping in on the fun.

A few hours later when they’ve all settled down in their own beds, Sirius opens James’ curtains and sits opposite James, who has the Marauders’ Map in front of him, curiosity got the better of him, wanting to see where everyone was, what they’re all up to. His eyes certainly weren’t following a certain Slytherin. 

“Hey dude, you okay?” James asked softly. Sirius had a tight smile glittered upon his face. 

“Well- uh, I just wanted to. No, um. How did Regulus seem? Earlier, when you had detention with him?” Sirius struggled to get his sentences out, like they were caught in the back of his throat.

“Oh Regulus, yeah, he seemed like his quiet, uncommunicative self, I mean, I was just rambling on about random stuff but he wasn’t taking any of it.” James explained, Sirius softly laughing at that. “But yeah, he’s changed a lot, Sirius, he looks more...him, if that makes sense.” Sirius nods along, laying down next to James’.

“I just miss him sometimes. He’s still my brother, even after everything that happened all those years ago. And it’s not like I can just block him out of my mind.” Sirius whispered, uncertain if he wants the others to hear. 

“Yeah, before all the mess that happened, you two were basically inseparable, so I’m not surprised.” 

Sirius answers back with a hum. James was stroking Sirius’ long locks, apparently it felt very soothing because his eyelids were locked shut. 

After a few minutes of comforting silence, James brings himself to ask the question that’s been on the tip of his tongue: “If you had the chance to fix your relationship with your brother, would you?”

Sirius’ eyelids shot up, obviously shocked by that question with his brows furrowing as he tries to make sense of the question. James watches him intently, trying to decipher the look on his best friend’s face. Usually, he can read Sirius like an open book. When his family is involved, the book slams shut and that ability dispenses. 

Sirius lets out a heavy sigh before turning his head to look at James, “If given the chance, I would try.” 

Sirius doesn’t need to say any more, even a simple ‘yes’ would have clarified James’ natural instinct to make sure that chance arises. All James does is nod, but his brain is running rampant, his saviour complex overtaking his every thoughts. 

“Prongs, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t even try.” he warns.

“What?!” James asked innocently.

Sirius rolled his eyes, “You know what, prick. Your stupid saviour complex.”

“But-”

“No James, not everyone needs saving. Certainly not my brother.” He says, with a sigh.

“You don’t know that though, Padfoot. You haven’t even had a proper conversation without arguing for years. He might’ve changed.” James pleads desperately. 

“No, if he came with us that night, everything would be much simpler. But he didn’t. He chose them over me. He made his decision that night.” He whispered, with a glimmer of sadness laced in his words. 

“You’re right, Padfoot, I’m sorry. I’ll leave it alone now.” James says.

“Thanks, Prongs. Appreciate it,” Sirius said, earning a smile from his best mate, stuffing his mouth with Bertie Botts. 

“Hey Pads, come here for a sec,” Remus called from his bed.

“See ya in the morning, Prongs.” Sirius said, crawling to Remus' every word. 

James smiled at his two best mates, they’re so oblivious to each other's feelings. Well, I’ll wait till they work it out themselves. 

Now, about Regulus…

No! Didn’t you hear what Padfoot said?

Yes I did! But I could have the chance of turning Regulus down a different path, than being a filthy death eater. 

You can’t change him. 

Why can’t I at least try?

It’ll fail.

James sighed to himself in annoyance, curse this stupid saviour complex! He took his glasses off his face and placed them on top of the set of drawers next to his bed and closed his eyes until unconsciousness took over his mind and body. 

James stumbled out of his bed, tripping over his blanket that is half draped over his bed and the other half is over the floor. He notices that Peter is already gone to breakfast, no doubt about that with his pillows and bedsheets messed up, after living with someone for around six years, you notice what they’re like in the unconscious state, and Pete is a very strong kicker. He’ll leave that mess for the house elves to clean up.

Across the room, on Remus’ side, Sirius and Remus are cuddled up (the lovebirds must've fallen asleep together after Padfoot left my bed) on the twin-sized bed. James has never and still won’t be able to understand how they both fit in such a small space- especially Remus with his freakishly tall, lanky 6’2 self - surely they must be dying from lack of oxygen being so squished together. But for now, he lets his friends have some more blissful minutes of peaceful sleeping. 

James treks around the littered dorm tiresomely. He puts on his uniform slowly, waiting for the taste of caffeine to lighten up his energy sources, and half heartedly attempts to tame his wild hair. His mother always tries to comment on the length of his hair, that it needs a good chop but James constantly denies it. Now, in his reflection with his uncontrollable hair sticking up in every direction possible, he’s starting to see the appeal of cutting it himself with a pair of scissors, although that may be half the sleep-deprivation talking. 

All ready to go down for breakfast, he decides it’s time to wake up his friends. Avoiding Sirius’ body as he tends to throw blind punches if he’s been awakened, he stands by the bed and shakes Remus’ shoulder with him being the easiest to wake. Bless Remus for being a light sleeper. “Mooooony,” he whispers gently, hoping it will be enough. All he gets in return is a tired hum. James shakes him again, “Remus, wake up!”

Remus’ eyelids flutter open, squinting from the sunlight burning through the windows. “Hm, yes I’m awake,” he groggily answers back, moody in the mornings. “Time for breakfast, you and Padfoot look cosy,” James cheekily comments, giggling, “I’ll leave you to wake Pads up, see you in the Great Hall.” He hears Remus let out a groan as he shuts the door closed, strolling out the common room on his usual route to breakfast. 

By the time Regulus’ alarm wakes him up the following morning, whatever nightmare or dream that has plagued his sleep has been long forgotten. Regulus considers these kinds of mornings a good omen. Most of the time, he remembers his dreams in vivid detail, the good and the bad. He considers ignorance to be bliss, in this rare instance. 

Regulus puts extra thought in his every move, like it’s part of his daily routine. What shirt he wears, what he tries to stomach to eat for breakfast, even stupid normal tasks like walking and talking are acted out with paranoid rehearsal in his head. Contrary to what he told Evan and Barty the night before, Regulus is nervous for try-outs for the Slytherin Quidditch team. They hold them every year for the chance of new students to be on the team. 

“Hey man, you gonna try for the Quidditch team this year?” Barty asks, looking at Regulus who has his face stuffed with too many textbooks. 

“Um probably, yeah. Are you?” He answers, his concentration switching from his friends to his studies every other second. 

“Nah, you know me and Evan aren’t built for Quidditch,” Barty replied, with Evan snickering from his bed, “You nervous?”

Regulus thinks about his answer, obviously lying, not wanting his friends to learn about his anxious tendencies, “Nah, I’ve been in the team since third year, no one’s overtaken my spot as seeker yet.”

He’s practically shaking with anxiety, but he prides himself in being able to mask those pesky emotions. He is Walburga’s son, after all. Her only son, as far as she’s concerned. 

When he’s ready to leave to go to breakfast, he quickly scans his dormitory that he shares with Evan and Barty, seeing that they’re still snoring their arses off. Lazy buggers. He doesn’t really clarify them as his friends, but his family and their families are close together, so he only really puts up with them for reputation, but Barty is bearable sometimes. He walks out in his usual route to the Great Hall with his newly cleaned Slytherin robes, his wand tucked into his inside pocket. 

As he opens the door to the Great Hall, he see’s Pandora, his only true friend who he cares deeply for- she’s had the pleasure in knowing Regulus’ deepest darkest secret. He never told her, God no, but from her seer abilities herself, she discovered his mystery. When she first accidentally found out in fourth year with her powers spiralling out of control, she found him in a secret hiding place which overlooks the hallways corridors but still keeps you covered so no one suspects you’re there. At first when Pandora first tried to talk to him about James Potter, who will very likely be the death of him, Regulus desperately tried to deny it as much as possible, but even with his threats aimed at Pandora, she still befriended him and comforted him with his problem. Ever since then, they’ve barely been separated- of course with Regulus’ homosexuality, she thought it would only be fair (and she trusted him with all her whole heart) to inform him about her special abilities. After Pandora spotted Regulus in the secret place, it basically became their place, where they go to hangout, gossip, talk, study, etc. 

“Good morning, Pandora.” he greeted, opening the door for her. They both walked in the Great Hall with the loud noises of chatter amongst the Hogwarts students.

“Hello Regulus, did you sleep well?” she asked, smiling fondly at him. 

“Surprisingly well, thank you. The dreamless sleep helped a lot, by the way.” They stopped walking as they had to part ways to go to their house tables. 

“I’m glad it did, I’ll see you later, same place?” Regulus nodded to her question, and they both waved goodbye.

Regulus sat down at the Slytherin table, noticing that James had just sat down at the Gryffindor table, and they had a perfect view of each other. 

James was stacking up food on his plate when he caught Lily sitting down a few seats down from where he was, laughing at some dumb joke Mary told her; he believes Lily Evans to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Her gorgeous red hair and stray freckles splattered across her cheeks with her sparkling hazel eyes he’s spent way too long gazing into. Then his sight strays from her dazzling features to his best friend’s brother with the perfectly-kept curly hair and emotionless expression. He hears his friends settle down next to him, getting out of bed at last. 

“Have a good sleep?” James grinned, teasing Remus and Sirius at their sleep positioning, throwing a grape in his mouth. Remus and Sirius shared a glance forgetting about everyone else, like they were speaking telepathically to one another. Sirius broke out of their trance, by clearing his throat and started piling up food and the situation was long forgotten. James’ eyes caught onto Regulus once again, like an invisible cord was attached from his eyelids to Regulus’ figure. If you only glance at Regulus, you would think him and Sirius are quite alike, but if you examine the features on his face in detail compared to his brother, you would be able to notice that Regulus’ cheekbones are slightly more defined than Sirius’, and the older has deep grey eyes whereas the younger has entrancing light grey eyes mixed with a bit of blue; Sirius’ hair is jet black in colour and luscious to the touch, and has grown out unevenly to about shoulder length and Regulus’ had the same black hair with smooth curls grown out to his neck. 

All of a sudden, James’ thinking about his best friend’s brother gets interrupted with a red apple thrown at his chest. He whips his head forward to Sirius, who’s staring straight at him opposite the table with his eyebrows raised and arms crossed, impatiently waiting for his undivided attention. 

“Stop staring,” Sirius warns him, “It’s weird.”

“What?! I’m not staring at anyone.” James scrambles to defend himself, and he thinks he does a pretty damn good job, but Sirius doesn’t look at all convinced.

“Sure you’re not,” Sirius snickers. James rolls his eyes as he picks up the apple and bites a clump from it. “Don’t bother with him, okay?” 

This takes James aback. Sure, Sirius has never had a problem with openly defending his family’s character through vague, little jabs like that, but Regulus isn’t usually slandered directly– if anything, he’s always been conveniently omitted. 

“Shouldn’t someone? Bother, I mean?” James questions, eyes trailing over every inch of Sirius’ face in hopes of catching a glimpse of the truth. 

“No, he’s too far gone for that.” Sirius states. James caught a peek of disappointment and anger shine on his expressions, but it’s gone as soon as it came. 

The potions lesson reaches to an end and students start trailing out the class one by one, James gets called back to have a word with the Professor. 

“Mr Potter, can I have a word, on your own, please?” Professor Slughorn asks, moving to the back of his desk. 

“Erm, is something wrong, Professor?” James asks, worried about what could be the matter. 

“Your grades in Potions class for this term are…slightly worrying, to say the least. Professor McGonagall and I have had a discussion and we’ve decided to give you a tutor, some extra class work, nothing too bad.” He explains. 

An exhale escapes from James’ mouth, relaxing entirely. “Jeez, Sir. I thought you were gonna say my parents were in an accident or something. You do have a taste for the dramatics, don't you.” He grins, holding a hand to his chest. "Yes, haha. So sorry about that." The professor gives a polite smile and nods to James awkwardly, dismissing him from the lesson. James wasn’t completely fond of the idea of a tutor, having to do extra work in the class he dislikes the most, but it’ll have to do for now. 

He spots his friends sitting unaware at their spot. They claimed it in third year, and no one dares to try to steal it from the chaos-bringers. They chose a big bulky tree, with a long secure, chunky enough branch sticking out where you can rest with your legs dangling out.  The tree is in the middle of the quad, good for sneaking up on people. The quad is where most people hang about with their friends, usually before or after lessons. James gets closer, his friends are leaning against the tree in conversation. They suspect nothing. 

Now a few paces away, James starts to unsheathe his weapon of choice. The knife slides it’s way out his robe sleeve. He holds it out as he comes up behind Sirius Black, the light gleaming off its blade as he promptly stabs his friend in the side. 

Well, not really. 

Sirius yelps and pushes a laughing James away from him. James doubles over at his friend’s loss, and soon enough Peter does too. Remus has the decency to try not to laugh. Sirius’ pout only props up James’ victory.

“You killed me?!” Sirius questions in clear offence, hurt by the betrayal, “You killed me by sneaking up on me? I thought we don’t play dirty!”

“No but we play smart as well. Well, at least the rest of us do.” James retorts, climbing on the tree to sit on the branch, as Sirius follows him. He tosses the plastic knife on the ground. 

“How dare you?! Your tactics are worse than Moony’s, no offence or anything,” he murmured to Remus. “I’m much smarter than all of you three combined! Right, to this minute, I’m changing the rules, you play smart, tactical, and dirty, no matter how threatening it is” Sirius declares, looking down at his mates with a menacing impression lightening his features. 

“Just admit you’re wrong, Padfoot. The rules are untouchable. We’re not changing them.” James advises, much to the loud disgruntlement of the former Black heir. 

“I’m not wrong. I’m just on a much higher level of intelligence and enlightenment that you guys can’t even begin to understand.”

“Isn’t Remus top of the class, though? Wouldn’t that make him at least the most intelligent?” Peter pipes up. 

“Can Remus speak five languages? No, he can only speak two. And you and Prongs can only speak English. Don’t insult my superior intelligence, Wormtail.”

“Why do you have to be multilingual to be smart?” James questions, brows furrowed at the insane logic his friend is saying. 

Sirius huffs, “You don’t have to be–” 

“Then what’s the point of your argument?”

“What’s the point? The point is I’m gonna shove that plastic little knife up your–” Whatever empty threat Sirius was about to throw at James is cut short by the school bell signalling it’s time for the next lesson; James, Peter and Remus were roaring up with laughter from Sirius’ psychotic words. 

“Right, I best be off before you attack me with your genius words again,” James teased whilst walking away, earning the middle finger from Sirius. 

“Love you too, Pads!” he shouted, grinning from ear to ear.