Chapter 40
"I find, Mr. Potter, that the beginning is often the best place to begin."
*
Harry's mouth twitched into a small smile, and he glanced towards Tony, who gave him an encouraging nod. His mind flashed back to what Tony had said while he was helping him calm down in the bathroom.
If you ever get stuck, or upset, just look at me. Focus on me, and everything will be alright.
Now, Harry's eyes locked with Tony's and he gave a small nod in return.
"When I was fifteen months old, my parents were murdered. They didn't die in a car crash, like my aunt told you, they were murdered by a serial killer who also tried to kill me. That's where the scar on my forehead is from. Ultimately, he failed, and disappeared into hiding for eleven years- but I'll touch on that more later.
"My aunt was also incorrect in saying that she was granted custody because she was my next of kin. While that is technically true, I should have been placed with my godfathers, Sirius and Remus. It was my parents wishes that, if anything should ever happen to them, that Sirius and Remus raise me. However, a family friend of my parents was misinformed, and placed me in custody of my aunt and uncle, because he thought it was the safest place for me."
Harry tore his eyes from Tony's, and forced himself to look at Petunia, before stating the next part with eyes locked with hers.
"And he was wrong."
Harry broke eye contact with Petunia and glanced back at his family, all sitting there, taking in every word he was saying.
"It wasn't the safest place for me. Dudley was given everything he wanted, whenever he asked for it. While there was an extra room in the house that could have been mine, I was forced to reside in the cupboard under the stairs, while the extra room was Dudley's toy room, or TV room, and later on, the guest bedroom where Vernon had his 'loving rewards', as he called it, for me."
"I was solely responsible for all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and gardening. Nobody else ever lifted a finger. If I messed anything up, or stumbled while doing it, I was punished for it. Severely. I did everything they asked me to, without even a mumble of protesting, and if I made any mistakes, and even sometimes if I didn't, I was punished for it. And these weren't any 'normal' punishments like my aunt said. Unless holding my hands atop a burning stove when I burnt the food even a tad bit, or making me sit in the freezer if dinner was even a bit cold, is considered normal. Or earning lashes from a belt, on a good day, and a whip on a bad day, for dropping something, making noise, or being to slow? These were my 'good' punishments, if you were curious."
Harry let out a small, dark chuckle. "Oh and how could I forget Petunia's favorite punishment? Withholding food!"
Harry shook his head, the cynical smile on his face gone. "I would go days at a time without food. Normally it was only three to four days, but if I especially irked them, I would go seven to ten days with only scraps that I could sneak from the trash. There were times when, if I would collapse or become too weak to do a strenuous chore, Petunia, my loving aunt, would slip me some cold, canned dog food through the flap in my cupboard door. I would crouch in the small storage space under the stairs, in the dark, trying to open the can of dog food with my hands like some sort of savage, and eat it- savor it- just thankful not to feel the gnawing pain in my stomach anymore."
The courtroom was so silent that a pindrop could have been audible throughout the room.
"I was either four or five when Vernon began to ra-" Harry choked on the word, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Began to rape me."
Sharp inhales could be heard from the side of the room where the jury sat. Harry kept his eyes trained on Tony's though, not even daring to look over to where Petunia or the jury were seated.
"At first, he would only do it a few times a week, and if I was 'good boy', he would either prepare himself with lube, or 'allow' me to give him a blowjob. But if I was 'bad', he would use force, and no preparation. It finally became such an often occurance that he didn't even need a reason to do. He would do it if he was happy, or angry, or even if he just wanted to hurt me. He began loaning me out to other groups of men when I was eight, and would charge them copious amounts of money just to have me at their disposal for the night."
Harry could feel the hot sting of tears burning at his eyes, and a stinging in his nose indicated that he was going to cry soon.
"My only saving grace came when I was eleven. A school that my parents had attended sent me a letter, inviting me to enroll. It was a boarding school in Scottland, and I knew that I had to go. Any opportunity to get away from Vernon and Petunia, and even Dudley. But they didn't want me to go. They tore up every invitation, until one day one of my parents old mate's showed up while we were on vacation, and gave me my letter. He took me the next day, and the day after that, I was on the train heading to school.
"My life at school was fine, until at the end of the year, the man who killed my parents returned and tried to kill my friends and I as well. Ultimately, I was able to escape again, but then I had to go back to the Dursley's over the summer. That summer, I can honestly say I wished I had chosen death when the man who killed my parents came after me."
A tear slipped down Harry's face, and he brushed it away quickly. Beside him, Judge Morgan pushed a tissue box in his direction, and he accepted it gratefully.
"The same things happened every year. And then last year..." Harry's breath hitched as he thought about the final battle.
"The who murdered my parents was back, with more followers than ever. They truly believed that what he was doing and what he stood for was right. He lured me away from school that night, making me believe that he had my godfathers held hostage."
"Objection, Your Honor- relevance?" Petunia's lawyer declared, interrupting Harry.
Judge Morgan looked towards where Petunia was sitting, arms crossed in front of her and staring daggers at Harry.
"Overruled," the judge spoke, turning back to Harry. "You may continue."
"Thank you, Your Honor," Harry swiped at his face, brushing away tears that had slipped down his cheeks.
"I don't want to dive into a lot of details, because... well, because it's hard for me to talk about, and if it's not completely necessary, I don't want to," Harry stammered, shaking his head as he willed himself to concentrate.
"But there was an ambush, and a lot of my friends, teachers and godfathers showed up to save me. But they... they were..." Harry clenched his jaw, telling himself that he had to continue.
"They were killed. Protecting me," he finished finally. "I was tortured a lot that night, which took away a lot of my strength that I would normally use to help me last the summer at the Dursley's. The attack ended with the backfire of the weapon that my parent's and godfathers' murderer was using, which ultimately killed him."
Harry paused, composing himself before he dove into the next part.
"My dad- I'm sorry," Harry caught himself. "Tony already told you how he found me, and the attack that happened in late July with my uncle, but I'll give you a bit of my side.
"Tony found me the night after my uncle whipped me twenty times for dropping a pot of pasta, because I blacked out due to malnourishment. Later that night, when Vernon got home, he raped me from midnight until three in the morning. I was sent to the market later that morning, and in order to hide all of the marks, I was wearing long sleeves and sweatpants- all Dudley's old clothes, because the Dursley's never bought me my own clothes.
"Tony saw me and helped me after I passed out. But I knew that if I went to a hospital, someone would recognize the signs of rape and abuse, and then Vernon would kill me. But at this point, I can't say I didn't welcome death. When Tony found me, I had planned on killing myself that night. Cutting had always helped me feel in control before, but that night, I knew that I had nothing left to lose."
Harry looked at Tony, who's face was crestfallen and shocked. Harry had never told him that part before.
"But Tony took my back to my aunt and uncles- he didn't know any better at the time, so don't think for a second that I'm blaming him at all," Harry pointed this towards Petunia and her lawyer. "When we got back, Tony marched up to the doorstep and told Petunia and Vernon what had happened. Vernon was outraged, and Petunia just made excuses. She didn't do anything to help me when Vernon ordered me upstairs and marched up there himself after he shut the door in Tony and Pepper's face. She didn't do anything when she heard him raping me, or using an electic whip on my back."
Harry shook his head. "She took Dudley out for ice cream while all of this was happening. Vernon was torturing me upstairs, and she didn't do anything about it. Instead, she took Dudley out for ice cream while Vernon took me by my neck, and threw me down the stairs. Tony saved my life that day. He appeared at the door, his clever grocery delivery working, and I knew that it was my only chance to get help. And if I didn't get help from Tony, I knew that Vernon would kill me."
Harry glanced down at his hands, letting a series of tears fall down his face without even an attempt to brush them away.
"Either way, I told myself, I was happy. I would be escaping the hell I was living, and that was the best possible thing, in my mind."
Harry motioned towards a moderatley large TV that was sitting between the witness stand and the table where Tony and his lawyer sat.
"These are a few pictures of the injuries Vernon gave me the first time Tony rescued me," Harry announced, and pictures of his back, charred, bloodied and scarred, appeared on the screen. Harry had to look away as pictures of his bruised chest, broken arm and ankles, and picture of him on the ventilator after his surgery, appeared.
"The recovery from that was long, and I'm still healing from it, both physically and definitley mentally," Harry resumed, as the showing of photographic evidence was completed. He turned to Petunia's lawyer.
"You brought up my 'suicide attempt' earlier," he said pointedly, but his voice caught in his throat. "I believe I should clear some things up about that. For years, cutting was my only way of coping. It made me feel like I was in control for once. Like I was responsible for my own punishments, when I did something that I didn't like.
"But this wasn't Tony's fault at all. In fact, we had been having a pretty good morning. It was the night after Tony offered to adopt me, if I wanted it. I was over the moon, because I was finally going to have a family. I had just met Peter, who's my boyfriend now. He had to stay back at home, because he's attending high school. Everything was going great that morning, except for when Tony and I turned on the TV to watch a movie. The news was on, and I found out that Vernon had escaped and was looking for me.
"I wasn't thinking rationally, and I reverted back to old tendencies. I found a razor in my bathroom, because Tony didn't know any better, and I just did it. I- I thought it would fix things. Everyone I ever loved had died because of me, and I was afraid that if I was still alive when Vernon came for me, he would kill whoever he had to in order to take me. But if I were dead... then they would be safe."
Harry closed his eyes and wished away the aching in his arm, as if talking about this, as if reminding himself about this, would make it all happen again.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, opening his eyes and looking blearily towards Tony through tears.
"It's okay," Tony mouthed, nodding encouragingly.
"Peter was the one who found me, and he called for help and they were able to, thankfully, save me. I haven't cut since then, though I've come close a couple times. But not because they make me feel the need to, because it's not like that at all. They're the ones who change my mind about cutting."
Harry glanced towards Bucky, who gave him a sad smile, for only just last night he had been the one to talk Harry off of the ledge.
"It was only a week after that when we went to get my stuff from the Dursley's house. Petunia and Dudley had moved out, and we had been assured that Vernon was somewhere in America, in hiding and waiting for the right moment to try to find me. But he wasn't. I insisted on going in to get my stuff by myself, because I needed some closure. I begged Tony and Natasha to let me go in on my own, and they respected my privacy, and I love them for that. None of this was their fault.
"So I went to get myself and my cupboard was locked. I knew that I had seen Vernon put the keys on the dresser in the extra bedroom the last time I had been in there, right before Tony and Pepper rescued me. So I went up to the bedroom to get them. But Vernon was in there, and he closed and locked the door behind me. It was all a ploy, to get me to walk right into his trap."
Harry stopped, and motioned to the TV and Tony's lawyer again.
"Tony already talked about what happened to me during the attack, and all of the injuries I sustained because of it, which can be seen here," Harry couldnt' bring himself to look at all of the injuries, especially those that had stemmed from the horrificly brutal rape.
As soon as the presentation of evidence was finished, Harry once again resumed speaking.
"Tony and Natasha saved me that day. Their realization that something was wrong, and quick thinking on busting the door down was what saved my life. I have no reservations about the idea that Vernon would have killed me as soon as he was done using me for his own pleasure. But when Tony and Natasha came in, he pulled the gun at them, and Natasha, being trained in combat like she is, was quick and turned the gun on him. There was a struggle, and Vernon fired at himself, which was ultimately fatal. She isn't responsible for his death, yet Petunia charged her and had her arrested for his murder. It was self defense, and she saved my life from a wanted felon. And she was the one that went to jail."
Judge Morgan jotted something down on a piece of paper, which intrigued Harry, as he hadn't seen her write anything down since the beginning of the trial.
"I love my family, Your Honor, and I don't want to leave them. They've welcomed me with open arms, and I love every single one of them with my whole heart," Harry began, looking towards the team- his family- with a smile on his face as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Tony's the one who comes and sits with me after a nightmare, comforting me and staying with me until I fall back asleep. Pepper is the one who always comes to tell me goodnight, even if it means stepping out of an international conference call for a few moments. Steve and Bucky are the ones who teach me that it's okay to be who I am, and that my story is important too. Bruce is the one who, instead of turning me away from his lab while he's working and I don't want to be alone, welcomes me in and makes me a cup of tea before bouncing ideas off of me, despite the fact that I don't know what on earth he's talking about. Clint is the one who always manages to make me laugh when I'm upset or in a bad mood, and he's never one to turn down taste testing new recipes. Natasha is the one who gave me her kidney before she even met me. And she risked her own life, and was arrested, in order to protect me. She's like an older sister to me, or what an aunt should be like."
He shot a pointed glare at Petunia, who's head was bowed and staring at her hands.
"And Peter. Peter teaches me how to believe in myself. How to love myself, and accept love from others- something I've never been able to trust anyone enough to do. This is my family. They're my fiercest protectors, and respectfully your Honor, I'm not leaving them, and there's nothing you can do or say that will make me change my mind."
Harry looked up at Petunia's lawyer once more.
"Do you have any questions for Mr. Potter?" Judge Morgan said coolley, her voice seeming artificial and not as sweet as it had previously been as she addressed Petunia.
"No, Your Honor," her lawyer spoke, voice soft.
"Harry, thank you for sharing everything. You may take your seat," Judge Morgan turned to him.
"We will now be taking a brief recess for the jury to deliberate, and then I will make my decision as to verdict and custody," the judge announced.
Fifteen minutes somehow felt like the fastest and slowest passage of that Harry had ever experienced. On one hand, it dragged by knowing that his future would be determined in only a matter of minutes. But on the other hand, Harry knew that things could all go to shit from here, and the time with his family could be ticking and he didn't even realize it.
All too soon, the jury filed back into the court room, and resumed their seats. Moments later, Judge Morgan appeared and took her place at the the stand.
"I have decided that sole custody of Harry James Potter will be awarded to Anthony Edward Stark. The jury has also found Petunia Dursley guilty of child abuse, and purgery as a result of lying under oath with clear evidence to contradict her claims. I am authorizing a warrant for her arrest, and a trial will be scheduled at a later date. I will also be calling a Motion to Dismiss the charges on Natasha Romanoff for the murder of Vernon Dursley. If there are no further questions, case dismissed."
Harry watched, mouth agape as the judge made her way back down the steps and into the judge's chambers.
"Oh my God!" Tony exclaimed, throwing his arms around Harry as tears began to spill down his face.
"She's for real? I get to stay with you? Forever?" Harry choked, his voice strained as he worried that this was someone's idea of a sick joke against him.
"She's for real, kid, you're stuck with me forever," Tony laughed, a bubbling sound that made Harry smile and begin laughing himself. He threw his arms around Tony and squeezed him tightly.
"Congratulations!" Steve and Bucky each placed a hand on Harry's shoulders and gave it a light squeeze. Natasha reached over and ruffled Harry's hair, and Clint slapped Tony on the back, laughing with joy. Harry pulled away from Tony a moment later and flung himself into Pepper's arms.
Smiling from ear to ear, Pepper embraced Harry with one arm and Tony with the other, planting a kiss on the top of both of her boy's heads.
From where his face was buried in Pepper's blouse, Harry couldn't contain his smile, and the words that felt so unfamiliar, yet so right, slipped out of his mouth.
"Mom. Dad. Let's go home."