Chapter 38
Two Weeks Later-- the Night Before the Trial
*
"Harry? Can I come in?" Bucky knocked at the hotel's bathroom door, leaning against the door frame.
There was a sniffle on the other side, before Bucky heard the click of the lock being undone on the other side.
Slowly, Bucky pushed the handle down and opened the door before slipping inside and shutting the door behind him again.
"Harry," Bucky breathed sadly, seeing Harry curled in a ball, leaning against the porcelain bathtub. "Buddy, what's going on?"
Harry looked up at Bucky, eyes red and watery. His face was blotchy- a clear indicator that he had been crying.
"Bucky," Harry choked, leaning towards the winter soldier. Bucky knelt down and positioned himself so that he could embrace the crying teen.
"Shh, I've got you. What's the matter?" Bucky frowned, running his hand through Harry's unruly hair. Tony and Pepper were both in a meeting with their lawyer, and Steve was down in the gym getting in a quick workout. Bruce had met up with Clint and Natasha, which left Bucky alone in the hotel room with Harry.
Ten minutes ago, Harry had excused himself from where he and Bucky were watching a movie, and disappeared into the bathroom. Bucky had waited, but after several minutes had passed, he could hear crying from the bathroom and had become worried.
Now, sitting on the cool tile in the hotel bathroom, holding a crying Harry close to his chest, Bucky realized once more how bad Harry had had it as a child.
"I almost did it," Harry's hoarse voice snapped Bucky out of his thoughts.
"Did what, bud?" Bucky began rocking the two of them back and forth as Harry's breathing picked up.
"I really wanted to," Harry shook his head, burying his face into Bucky's chest. "There's a razor on the counter. I almost did it."
Bucky's breath caught as he realized what Harry was talking about. He suddenly became aware of Harry's rolled up sleeves, the exposed scabs and old scars visible.
"Oh Harry," Bucky clutched the teen in his arms tighter. "But you didn't. You didn't do it, because you stopped yourself."
"I was so close. I was going to," Harry sobbed, pulling away from Bucky and looking at him through tears.
"Bucky," he whispered, voice barely audible as he looked down in shame. "I feel like I need to."
Bucky grabbed Harry's hands in his own, and held them up to his face. It was the only way he knew he could get Harry to make eye contact.
"Harry," Bucky began. "You're strong. I know you feel like you need to, but you were strong enough to stop yourself. Now, I think I have a pretty good idea about what triggered this, but I think we should talk about it."
"Don't let her take me," Harry choked, throwing himself into Bucky's arms. Bucky sighed, burying his face into Harry's hair. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to count to 10- a feeble attempt at convincing himself that he didn't need to go hunt down Petunia Dursley and give her a piece of his mind... or worse.
"I'm going to pick you up and take you back to the living room," Bucky told Harry, bundling the teen into his arms easily and rising to his feet.
"Don't let her take me. I don't want to go back with her. Please don't let her take me," Harry sobbed, becoming borderline hysteric now.
"Shh, you're alright. Breathe. Just breathe for me," Bucky hushed, taking a seat on the couch. "I've got you. You're not going anywhere."
"Don't let her take me, please. Don't let her take me," Harry cried, gathering fistfuls of Bucky's t-shirt, as if it would tether him.
"I'm not going to let that happen. None of us are going to let that happen. We've got you. I've got you," Bucky rocked back and forth.
The two remained in this position for what felt like eternities, but was, in all actuality, only a few minutes before Harry finally calmed down enough to be considered coherent.
"I'm just so scared. I don't want to go with her. I can't," Harry shook his head, looking up at Bucky with teary emerald eyes.
"We're doing everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen. And I am confident that no judge will grant her custody again, not after your story is told, and all evidence that we have is presented against her. Tony isn't going to let her take you anywhere. I'm not going to let her take you anywhere."
"Harry, we're doing everything in our power to make sure you stay with us," a new voice said, and both Harry and Bucky looked up in surprise at Natasha, who had managed to enter the room without anyone noticing.
"Nat!" Harry sprung to his feet as fast as he could, racing towards her and throwing himself into her arms.
Nat smiled as she received an armful of Harry, and she rested her chin on the top of his head, inhaling the familiar scent of his shampoo.
"I missed you," Harry murmured into her shoulder, eyes closed as he took in the feel of the cool leather against his cheek.
"I miss you too," Natasha ran her hand up and down his back gently, knowing that his back was still slowly healing.
"How was the mission?" Harry pulled away, looking up at her with gleaming eyes that she had desperately missed.
Natasha glanced up at Bucky, an expression of slight surprise on her face as Bucky shook his head quickly. She figured that Tony would have told Harry the truth, now that he was feeling better and had settled in back home.
Making a split decision, Natasha sighed, leading Harry over to the sofa.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked with a frown, glancing between Nat and Bucky.
"Nothing's wrong, per say," Natasha began, enveloping Harry's small hand in her own. "Except for the fact that Tony's probably going to kill me for telling you this."
Harry's frown deepened as he searched the spy's face for any indication as to what this was about.
"What's going on?" Harry tried to calm himself, knowing that if he got worked up again that it would just make things worse.
"Harry, we weren't completely honest with you," Natasha sighed, deciding to begin by being blunt. Behind Harry, Bucky took a seat on the arm of the couch and placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder.
"I didn't stay here for a mission. We just made that story up because I didn't want to worry you."
"What? Why? Why would you worry me?" Harry's heartbeat picked up, and he took deep breaths, attempting to calm himself.
"Please, Harry, just let me explain. I promise I'll tell you everything," Natasha pleaded. "I thought Tony had already told you, since it'll probably be brought up at the trial tomorrow, but-"
She shook her head, internally scolding herself for becoming rattled. She never got flustered like this, not around other people. But the way Harry was looking at her right now- upset, betrayed, concerned... she felt vulnerable.
"After the... attack... the police came and questioned me about Vernon's death. I told them everything, and I was free to go. But then, the police came to the hotel and arrested me on the charge of his murder- a charge that was authorized by your aunt."
"No! But that wasn't your fault!" Harry exclaimed, breath hitching as he thought about Natasha sitting alone in a cell, all for protecting him. For saving him.
"I know that, and I know what you're thinking, and it wasn't your fault either," Natasha scolded, catching Harry as his mind began racing.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tears fell down Harry's face, dripping on to where his and Natasha's hands were intertwined.
"Because I was let out on bail, curtesy of Fury- I don't think you two have formally met yet, but I'll bet tomorrow that will change. Anyway, I was let out on bail, but the conditions were that I had to stay in the country. And when we heard that you had the opportunity to go home, I knew that it would be in your best interest to do so. You hate hospitals, but I knew that if you were aware of the fact that I couldn't leave the country, you would insist on staying. And I am not as important as your health. Going back to New York was what was in your best interest, and I didn't want to be the reason you didn't go."
Natasha blinked rapidly, feeling the unfamiliar sting of tears pricking at her eyes.
"I'm sorry we weren't honest with you," she apologized, giving Harry's hand a small squeeze. "I just didn't want to worry you, because everything will be okay. As soon as the full story is told, everything will be alright again. I'm sorry."
Natasha shook her head, a tear escaping her eyes and sliding down her cheek. Suddenly, Harry's arms were wrapped around her torso, and his face was buried in her shoulder.
"Thank you," he whispered.
Natasha looked up at Bucky, an expression a surprise on her face. But he just smiled and nodded to her encouragingly.
Burying her face in Harry's hair, Natasha closed her eyes and smiled, thinking about how much she had missed this.
"You're welcome, bud. You're welcome."