Chapter 17
"No, please! Please, I'm sorry!" Harry murmured, thrashing about in his sleep. Peter stirred slightly, flinching he realized Harry was curling away from him.
Peter sat up, reality of the situation waking him up faster than any coffee ever could.
"Harry," Peter whispered, extending his hand to shake him awake, but he pulled back after a moment. He knew that if he woke Harry now, it would only make him more afraid when he woke up.
"Harry, please wake up," Peter pleaded, voice cracking as pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around himself. He hadn't meant to fall asleep while cuddling with Harry, but didn't realize how exhausted he was from the events of the previous few days.
But he didn't regret doing it.
"Pete, what happened?" Light streamed into the room from the doorway where Tony was standing, slightly breathless.
"Don't, please! Please don't! I'm sorry!" Harry began kicking at Peter, his voice rising with panic. Tony didn't have to be a genius to put together what was happening.
He had just been downstairs with the rest of the team, discussing plans for Loki and Thor's arrival, when Friday had notified him of both Harry and Peter's distress.
"Peter, it's alright. Just slowly climb out of bed and come to me," Tony hushed. After hearing of Harry's magic, he was worried that if the kid got too upset, his magic would lash out and unintentionally harm someone.
Slowly, Peter slid out of the bed before racing to Tony's side and burying his face in his mentor's chest.
"He's scared of me Mister Stark," Peter sobbed, letting the sadness and hurt come out.
"Shh, it's okay kiddo," Tony embraced Peter, running a hand through his hair soothingly. "It's just a nightmare. It's not you he's afraid of."
Inwardly, Tony sighed. He had filled Peter in on some of Harry's past, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to explain it all.
Like the fact that Harry had been raped and sexually violated by his uncle and several other men.
"His uncle?" Peter looked up at Tony through wet lashes, blinking through tears. This time, Tony let out an audible sigh, and nodded.
"Yeah buddy, his uncle," Tony gave Peter a light squeeze before peeling away and brushing away Peter's tears lovingly.
"Get off of me! Please... don't," Harry pleaded, his voice breaking in defeat as he stilled suddenly. Tony was instantly filled with rage, and Peter's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Mister- Mister Stark? What's he talking about?" Peter didn't know what Harry was talking about, but it sounded like more than the abuse that Tony had told him about.
"Get off. Please, it hurts. Stop, please, get off," Harry whimpered, but he continued to lie still. Appearing... broken.
"Peter, go downstairs. I'll meet you down there in a few minutes," Tony's jaw clenched as he watched his kid plead for a man- a man who wasn't even here- to get off of him.
"But-" Peter began to protest.
"Peter, go!" Tony barked. He felt bad when he saw Peter flinch, but he knew that unless he was firm, Peter would manage to convince him that he could stay. He sighed. "I'll explain later, okay? Just please, go. Harry's not going to want a crowd for this. He's going to be pretty embarrassed."
Peter gave a sad, but knowing nod, and quietly made his way out of the room.
"Friday, can you call Nat up here please?" Tony asked quietly. As much as he wanted to be there to comfort Harry once he woke, he knew that a man's voice waking him up wouldn't help the situation. As far as he knew, it had only ever been men that had raped his kid.
"She is on her way sir," Friday responded. Only a matter of seconds later, and Natasha was at Tony's side.
"Nat, I need you to wake him up and help me comfort him," Tony told her, voice holding a tone of defeat. "He's not going to-"
"He's not going to want a man waking him up. It's alright," Natasha placed a reassuring hand on Tony's shoulder. "He'll know you wanted to help, but you were just doing what was right for him."
"I'm going to go call Pepper and ask her to come home. We're going to have to have a chat with Peter about everything, and I really don't think I could do it alone," Tony ran a hand across his face. The past few nights were catching up with him, and he was exhausted.
He wished Pepper were here with him, but he understood that working was her coping mechanism for stress, as odd as it sounded. She felt calm when there was order and everything was as it should be-- Tony still questioned on a daily basis how she agreed to marry him, because everything about his life screamed the opposite of order.
Besides, someone had to run the company.
"Okay. I'll call you once he's awake and more with it," Nat placed a hand on his arm with a reassuring nod. "You just go call Pepper, okay?"
Tony ran a shaky hand through his ever- graying hair with a nod.
From the bed, Harry whimpered and curled in on himself a bit more.
"Go," Natasha told Tony with a more forceful tone this time. With a reluctant nod, he took one last glance towards Harry and headed downstairs. He hated to leave, it felt like he was abandoning Harry when he needed him most, but he knew that being there would only scare Harry more.
"Harry," Nat walked slowly toward the bed where Harry was lying with his kneels curled underneath him, arms curled around himself.
"Harry, you're okay. You're okay, shh," Nat lifted the covers away from the cowering kid, and carefully pried them out of his clenched fists.
"Shh, you're okay. You're alright," she soothed in a quiet whisper. "Harry, time to wake up hon."
Harry curled even tighter around himself as the spy placed a gentle hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles on his defined shoulder blade.
"Vse v poryadke, dorogoi," Nat whispered, clinging on to hope that maybe speaking Russian might calm him down. As far as she knew, Harry's uncle hadn't spoken Russian.
Hope flared inside her chest when Harry began to relax a bit, his shoulder loosening up beneath her fingers.
"Vot i vse. Khorosho, u tebya vse khorosho. Vot i vse, u menya yest' ty," Natasha hushed, stroking his back with long, nimble fingers.
"Ty v bezopasnosti. Ty zdes' so mnoy. Ty v bezopasnosti."
Harry's eyes shot open suddenly, wide with fear, and he gasped.
"Shh, it's okay. You're here with me, you don't have to be scared," Natasha spoke, keeping her voice as soft and even as possible, despite the pain that it caused her to see him this way.
"Harry- hey, Harry, breathe with me okay? Can you do that? Breathe in," she called to him as he began scooting away from her towards the edge of the bed, chest heaving to pull in oxygen.
"Harry, breathe in with me," Nat pulled in an exaggerated breath, nodding her head in encouragement. "Now breathe out- that's it. Good."
They repeated the process a few more times, Harry drawing in deep, rattling breaths alongside Natasha until his breathing was back to a normal level.
"Harry, you don't have to hide," Natasha scooted forwards the shaking teen that was now pulling at the blankets and pulling them up over his body.
"You're safe, I'm here. You're with me, right here, in Stark Tower."
Harry nodded slowly, dropping the blankets but staying curled up tightly.
"Do you- would you like to talk about it? The dream?" Nat asked, knowing immediately what the answer would be. Regardless, offering would make it obvious that the option was there for whenever he was ready.
"Would you like some cocoa? I think Tony was going to make some for Peter. I can have him bring you some."
"Yes please.That would be nice, thank you," Harry nodded his head, before a look a dread crept upon his face. "Wait, was Peter- was he still in here when I- for the dream?"
Nat looked into Harry's eyes, knowing that she had the ability to lie easily and get away with it. But seeing the concern and hurt in his eyes- she knew that should wouldn't be able to.
"Yeah," she sighed, "he was-"
She paused when Harry's eyes lit up with panic, and held up her hand in a calming manner.
"Shh, it's okay. I think Tony was planning to, with your permission of course, tell Peter about what happened with your... with everything you've gone through."
Harry stared at his hands for a moment, fidgeting restlessly with the tie to the sweatshirt he was wearing. Now that the fever had broken, and he was still warm from the nightmare, the sweatshirt felt almost suffocatingly hot.
"Can- can I tell Peter?" Harry asked quietly, catching Natasha by surprise momentarily.
"Y-Yeah, I'll go get him and tell him to come up here. Tony will bring you guys the hot cocoa in a bit, okay?"
"Okay," Harry agreed, and despite being hot, he pulled the sweatshirt tighter around himself for comfort, wincing slightly as the sleeve grazed the top of the unbandaged, shallower cuts on his bad arm.
Natasha stood up from the bed and was just about to leave when she head Harry.
"Hey Tasha?" He called softly, and she turned.
"Everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. I just wanted to say, thanks. For helping."
For the first time since Friday had notified her that she was needed upstairs, Natasha smiled.
"You're welcome Harry. Anytime you need me, just holler, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks again. It may not seem like it, but I really appreciate it."
"I know you do, hon. I know."
*
"Harry?" Peter poked his head into the room, anxiety washing over him in waves.
According to Natasha, whatever Tony said that he was going to tell him, Harry was now going to tell him, and whatever it is didn't seem to be good.
"Hey Peter," Harry spoke with a sheepish smile. "Sorry for scaring you earlier."
"Hey, no, it's fine," Peter rushed to correct him. He didn't want Harry thinking that he wasn't there for him when he got upset. "Are you okay?"
Harry sighed, glancing at his hands. "If I said yes, I'd be lying to you. And I don't want to do that anymore. No more lies."
Peter took a seat on the edge of the bed, the bed dipping slightly as he shifted closer to Harry.
"Would you like to talk about it?" He asked, and he found his fingers brushing against Harry's, and butterflies erupted in his chest.
Harry found himself blushing as Peter's hands brushed against his own, and in one bold move, he laced his fingers in Peter's.
"I- I need to tell you something," Harry began, drawing in a shaky breath and blowing it out slowly. "And I really hope it doesn't change the way you see me, or what you think of me."
"It won't. Whatever it is, it won't. You can trust me, I promise."
Harry's stomach did a flip. He desperately wanted to trust Peter, but he knew there was no way to predict how he would react to what he was about to tell him.
"Besides, you already told me you were a wizard, and I like to think I handled that news pretty well," Peter chuckled, attempting to crack a joke. Harry gave him a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Sorry. Now's not the time for jokes," the superhero apologized softly.
Harry took one last deep breath and looked down at his and Peter's hands, which were still laced together.
"I was- my uncle... he raped me."
"Wait did you just... Oh my God... that is... I don't know what to say..." Peter stammered. Harry closed his eyes, waiting for Peter to yank his hand away and storm out of the room in disgust.
"Are you okay?" Peter questioned, barely above a whisper in a voice coated with concern.
Harry's eyes snapped open and he saw Peter searching him with his big, brown Bambi eyes, squeezing his hand tightly with reassurance. Harry hadn't realized it, but he was squeezing back, almost equally as hard.
"I... I am now?" Harry responded, but it came out like a question, and he sighed. "No, not really. I still get nightmares. Almost every night. They've gotten better than when I was first here, when I would have them every time I closed my eyes, but... I'm still pretty messed up."
"No, no, no. Harry, look at me," Peter soothed, grabbing his other hand.
"I want you to listen carefully to me. You are not messed up. You are strong. You have survived something most people cannot even fathom. And you're here, and you're Harry, and everyone at this tower loves you. Mister Stark loves you, Ms. Potts loves you, Steve loves you, Natasha loves you, Sergeant Barnes loves you, Bruce loves you, Clint loves you...."
The pause hung in the air for a moment, before Peter cleared his throat and began speaking again, softly.
"I love you."
Harry looked up in shock at Peter's bright red face, a sheepish grin on his face.
"You- you do?"
"Of course. You're one of the kindest, strongest, smartest, funniest, most gracious people I've ever met."
There was another pause before Harry spoke again.
"Peter... I feel the same about you, but... I don't think I'm ready to say that yet. It's just that, I've been through a lot and I'm still messed u- I'm still pretty scared of- of touching others, or putting myself out there too much. Is that- is that okay? I'm sorry."
"That's completely fine, and understandable. You have nothing to apologize for, okay? We'll go at whatever pace you need to feel comfortable, and if that's absolutely nothing, or I ever make you uncomfortable, I'll make sure that you feel safe and I'll give you all the space you need.
"I don't know how to hand situations like these, so I really hope I say the right things, but I really like you, and I want to help you. I want to help you realize how much everyone loves and cares about you. I want to help you realize how much you're worth. I want to help you realize how amazing you are. I want to-"
Peter was cut off by Harry's lips colliding with his. The shock of what was happening taking both of them by surprise, but neither pulled back.
Instead, they embraced the kiss, and Harry couldn't help but think:
Things are finally looking up.
The kiss lasted only moments, but it felt like years. Butterflies swirled in both Harry and Peter's chests as they broke away.
A flash of movement cause Peter's eye in the doorway, making him spin around, eyes wide in fear.
Tony stood sheepishly in the doorway, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate in each hand.
"Mister Stark-"
"Tony-" both boys began stuttering, rushing to cover up what had just happened. They didn't regret it, but they hadn't been ready for anyone to see what was going on between them.
Hell, they didn't even know what was going on between them.
"Tony, I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't want me to live here anymore," Harry hung is head, and Peter reached a supportive hand out and gave Harry's good arm a light, reassuring squeeze.
Tony just shook his head, walking over to set the mugs down on the table before stopping and staring at both boys.
"Mister Stark, you're scaring me. Please... Say something."
Slowly, Tony sat down on the bed and stared deeply into both Harry and Peter's fearful eyes for a moment, before pulling them both into a tight hug.
"I love you," he whispered. "I love you both, just the way you are."