Draco jumped, nearly spilling his cup of coffee as he felt a small tug at the edge of his coat. He glanced down at the formerly empty seat on the bench, only to find a small boy with tear stained cheeks peeking up at him through his hat.
"Hi. Have you seen my mum?"
"Ah—er no, sorry," he said, not knowing what else to say to him.
"That's alright, I think she'll find me soon." The young boy sniffled.
Draco wondered, bemused. What values were this child taught, having approached him—a stranger—so easily.
Was he supposed to help this child? What was the etiquette for lost children?
Would he be accused of kidnapping if he helped him find his mother? Worse, would it be an arse move to just leave him alone? He didn't have a clue.
Just before he could attempt to leave the small boy tugged at his coat once more.
"Do you know anything about dinosaurs?" he asked, his eyes shining. "They're my favorite thing in the world!"
Dingosaurs?
"No…Sorry I don't,.What are dingosaurs? Is that an animal of sorts?" Draco asked, indulging the lost boy. Might as well keep him company until his mother returned to look for him.
"Yes, kind of, and it's dinosaurs, not dingosaurs!" He giggled and something clicked inside Draco.
The way he smiled, the way he talked, it was all so eerily familiar—
"Sorry, hi! He's mine."
Granger.
Draco blinked, wondering if he was dreaming.
There she was—the only woman he had ever loved, yet he could do nothing but stare.
She was still just as stunning, just as radiant. It's been years since he’d last seen her, but she was still as beautiful as the day he let her go.
He had no words, nothing to say. Draco knew next to nothing about what she'd been up to; he had refused to stay up to date with her life since she chose to marry Weasley.
Now they had a child, and Draco tasted nothing but bitterness in his mouth.
"Thank you for keeping him company, I-"
Her eyes met his, finally noticing who she was talking to and he held his breath, anticipating her next words.
"Draco! It's so good to see you." She grinned, not a hint of shock on her face. As if she was just meeting any old friend of hers.
He smiled at her, trying his hardest to keep the disappointment and sadness from his features. "Lovely to see you again Granger," he said, holding his tongue.
I miss you.
Need you.
I'm still in love with you.
Hastily thinking of excuses to leave he stood up abruptly. Any longer and he would say something wrong—something she might not like.
She was happy now. Who was he to insert himself back into her life?
"I’d better be going now. I have some matters to attend to," he muttered, turning away from her.The tightness in his chest grew as he walked away, not waiting for a response. He heard his name being called but he didn’t look back, his strides long as he rushed to the Apparition point.
He stood there, ready to go. He chanced a glance behind him, hoping she wasn't looking, needing to look at her one more time.
Draco watched as Hermione smiled fondly at her son, fixing his hair before tucking it back into his cap. Little ringlets of her own escaping her messy bun as she fussed over her son.
That could've been his, Draco thought, Apparating in an instant. A swoosh rang in his ears and he appeared in the Manor, his mind overrun with thoughts of her.
The images of her smiling played in his head over and over, tears spilling silently down his cheeks. He took shallow breaths, clutching his chest for dear life as he stumbled into his bedroom.
Draco stopped in his tracks.
The child had blond hair.
No.
No .
Impossible.
It can't be.
He Apparated quickly, panic gripping at his chest and landed exactly where he left them, eyes frantic as he looked and looked for them to no avail.
"Granger!" he yelled, attracting a few wayward stares from the Muggles as he did.
No no no! They can't be gone. He had to know. He needed to know.
Draco ran around, searching, screaming.
Over and over and over again but they weren't anywhere to be found.
"Please! Granger!" he screamed, his voice hoarse and pained. Everybody looked, but no one dared come close.
Hushed murmurs filled the space around him, but he didn't care. He only cared about finding them.
He ran and ran, looking at every small figure, every woman. There was no sign of the woman he’d lost so long ago and the child he had only met. He was too late.
"Hermione..." Draco sobbed, slowly dropping to his knees as he softly called her name. His tears fell hot and fast and he had no willpower to stop them.
He cried and cried, chest caving in as he knelt on the pavement, until a strong hand gripped his shoulder, dragging him off the ground.
In a blink, he could no longer feel the rough texture beneath him. All he could process was the soft thud of his body hitting the carpeted floor.
"Mate. You can't go around Apparating around Muggles like that."
Who?
Blinking through his tears, Draco eyed the man before him—dark hair, lean frame.
Theo.
"You're damn lucky that I was the one sent to check on you," Theo said, running a hand through his hair.
"I-I need to find her," Draco rasped, "He could be mine." He needed to leave, now . Draco clawed at his chest desperately, searching his robes for his wand.
He needed to go back. Needed to find them.
“Find who?” Theo asked, his brows drawing together deeply in concern.
“Hermione!” Draco exclaimed, clenching his fists.
Theo knelt down beside him, gripping his friends’ arms tightly in his hands. "Draco. Granger is married . You can't fall down this hole again."
Oh the days of his despair…drowning himself in whatever distraction was available as he watched Granger slip away from him. He remembers how it felt, the pure agony . How close she was yet so out of reach. She had walked away from them and he did nothing to stop her.
He thought he was better now.
But all it took was one look at her and that child and he had spiraled down into his old ditch.
A small boy, part of him and part of her… Everything he wanted. "...could be mine," he murmured. "He could be mine."
"Who could be yours?”
"Her child."
A flash of shock crossed Theo's face at the words, but not a single ounce of doubt was there. Theo knew better than anyone that Draco wouldn't throw around such words easily.
"I-I saw them Theo. He had blond hair, and fuck I know it's a long shot but if there was even a sliver of a chance that he was mine..."
He paused, taking in a ragged breath before continuing, anguish and conviction in his tone. "I need to try. I need to try and find them." He looked at his oldest friend, eyes pleading. "Please. Help me."
Worry lined Theo's forehead, no doubt concerned about what would happen on the small chance that he did find them.
Draco knew this himself—what could happen to him if he found her, only to lose her once more.
Guaranteed destruction.
But oh how willing he was to destroy himself.
"Okay."
Draco's head snapped up, surprised at his friend’s acceptance. Theo stood, brushing his trousers off before offering Draco a hand.
"Don't get your hopes up too much," he warned. "We might not even find them."
Taking his hand, Draco hugged Theo, extremely grateful that he had such a friend. Someone who understood his heart’s desire and would champion his cause, however unlikely the outcome would be in his favor. Draco’s desperation burned in every bone of his body; he needed her.
He needed to find them.
He would find them.
---
The ever growing despair that Draco felt bubbled in the pits of his stomach. It had been months of searching, looking, hoping...but there was no sign of them. Not his curly-haired witch, nor the blond little boy.
Not even Weasley.
It was beginning to feel as though that day that he saw her in the park was nothing but an illusion—a sick trick by the part of his mind that had been clinging to her all these years.
Now here he was, bottle of firewhisky in hand, a ghost of the confident and self-assured man that he had once been.
A soft knock on the door pulled Draco out of his thoughts, and he took a swig from his bottle, feeling the burn of liquid rush down his throat.
Theo peeked his head inside the room and Draco knew immediately what he was going to say.
We haven't found them.
No one knows where they are.
Potter won't cooperate.
"Draco," Theo said, taking him in.
"I already know what you're going to say, Nott," he grumbled. "Every damn day. I'm beginning to think I hallucinated everything."
Pursing his lips Theo slipped inside the room, scrunching his nose as he did.
"You really should cut back on the drinking. It smells awful here," he remarked. "The drink goes into your mouth Draco, not on the carpet. Gods , that is strong." He pinched his nose in distaste.
"Why are you here Theo?" Draco asked, preparing himself for the same old news.
"I found them."
Three words.
I found them.
He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. After all these months of desperately searching, They found them.
They were real.
Hope and joy swelled inside Draco, knees buckling upon hearing those words. That one day, many months ago… seeing her…seeing him and what could be his. All his questions would finally be answered.
Perhaps it was presumptuous of him to even think that that little boy could be his son. He wasn’t the only blond man on this earth, and the odds of him being the father weren’t that great, yet he hoped .
He made the mistake of letting her go, all those years ago. Draco would take even the smallest chance if it meant being in her life again.
“Where did you find them?” he whispered. Where had she been all this time? So out of sight, detached from the wizarding world and their prying eyes.
“Wiltshire,” he murmured, “in a small cottage by a lake a little ways away from here.”
She had been that close all this time?
Theo chuckled. “Very clever that Granger, I would have never thought to look anywhere near the Manor.”
“What made you think to look?”
“My wife suggested it of course,” he said smugly, flashing his wedding band. “Luna has always been very perceptive.”
Giving him a look, Theo winced. “Clean yourself up, please. I am not Apparating with you smelling like an old pub on my arm.”
---
There he stood, hand poised to knock, hesitating. So many worried thoughts buzzed in his head. He focused on the grooves etched on the wooden door, controlling his breathing, trying not to panic.
What if she hid from him? What if the child wasn’t his ?
He had gone into this blindly with no plan, no words.
The door creaked, revealing errant curls and freckled cheeks.
“Granger,” he breathed. Even after all this time, she still took his breath away.
“Draco.” Hermione’s eyes grew big, surprise coloring her face as she looked at him. His eyes trailed downwards, finding small hands gripping one of her own.
“Mummy, it’s Mr. Dingosaur!” The child giggled, a little bounce in his step.
With a soft smile Hermione knelt down to face him. “Why don’t you go to your room sweetheart? Mummy will just talk to Mr. Dingosaur.” She shot Draco a teasing look at the nickname and he could feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.
That smile, those lips…when was the last time she looked at him like that?
She was beautiful.
“Come in, how have you been?” Hermione asked, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face. She gestured towards the sofa and they sat down, only a few inches apart.
Empty.
I miss you.
I thought I was okay without you.
“I’ve been all right.” He answered, plastering on a smile. “How about you? How has Wiltshire been treating you?”
Hermione sighed dreamily, looking out the window. “Wiltshire’s been…amazing. It’s so beautiful here, and my son loves it.”
Draco took in his surroundings. The odd sense of familiarity was comforting. Everything had her touch. From the pieces of furniture down to the photos that lined the wall. He saw one where it was just her and her son and his heart swelled.
“So…what brings you here?” she asked, a nervous undertone in her voice.
“I’m not quite sure to be honest,” he said, which was the truth. He had so many questions but no way to ask them. How would he even begin?
“Where is Weaselby?” he joked. “Being a good husband I hope?”
She looked at him in confusion. “Huh? Oh! Ron… He’s all right. He’s…out at the moment.”
There was a pregnant pause, neither knowing what to say. The awkward silence suffocated him, gripping his throat.
“I missed you,” he said shakily, “If I’m being completely honest, I’m here partly because I miss you.”
Biting her lip she smiled at him. “I’ve missed you too Draco.”
She missed him too. It felt surreal hearing those words. Yet…that itch in the back of his mind stopped him from being overjoyed.
“Is he mine?” he blurted out.
“Yours?” Her eyebrows knitted together at the question.
“Him.” Draco tilted his head towards the room where the child had gone. “Is he mine?”
Hermione hesitated. He could almost see the gears turning in her head, but she didn’t look surprised by the question.
“Draco…”
A pause.
“He isn’t.”
His heart sank. Of course. How foolish it was of him to assume. To hope.
“I can see why you’d think that but…I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I had a brief fling with a Muggle after we broke up and…he was a happy little accident.”
The disappointment weighed heavily on him. He was never looking to have a son but to have one with her was something he only dreamed of.
“I see,” he said, a lump forming in his throat. Draco took a deep breath, clenching his fists by his side to hold in the disappointment. “I just thought…with the hair…and he seemed about the right age.”
“I’m sorry, Draco.”
Fuck him. She didn’t need to be sorry. She was perfect; he was the one who didn’t try enough.
He laughed nervously. Though he felt as if tears could fall any moment, he struggled to keep a straight face. “No. I-I completely understand. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“You had the right to question it, it must’ve been such a shock to see him…”
“What’s his name?”
“Hugo.” She smiled. “My darling boy.”
“That’s a beautiful name.”
Suddenly standing up, Hermione gestured towards the kitchen. “How rude of me, I forgot to offer you tea.”
“No…I should be going. A friend of mine is waiting for me at the Manor.” He looked at her, taking in her face, her curls, her eyes. “Feel free to visit any time. The wards still welcome you,” he added hurriedly. He was running away again, that much was clear. Whether she noticed or not didn’t matter anymore.
He needed air.
“Well, thank you for coming over. Hugo and I will visit some time soon.” She smiled, a sad kind of smile that only broke his heart further.
It wasn't pity in her smile. No. It was the kind of smile only Hermione Granger could give after breaking your heart.
And it wasn’t the first time he’d seen it.
Draco numbly got up and walked to the door, feeling her trailing behind him. He took a few steps outside the door, just beyond the anti-Apparition wards of her home and waved.
He still had something to say and he knew this wasn’t the time, but he couldn’t leave without her knowing.
“Hermione,” he said, looking up at her where she stood inside the doorway. “I still love you. I have always loved you.”
Draco Apparated before she could answer, landing directly in his bedroom.
He’d spent months looking for her. Hanging his hopes on a wish, a possibility. But everything had finally come crashing down; nothing like he’d expected. Nothing like the dream he’d so foolishly clung onto.
Perhaps meeting her was fate, the universe’s small gift to him. To see her was enough. Even if she had a husband and a son, even if he had no chance of a life with her…seeing her still felt like fresh air in his lungs.
There was a knock at his door. He walked over, ready to apologize to Theo for wasting his time.
But it wasn’t Theo at all.
“Hi.” Hermione stood before him, looking frazzled. She eyed him before looking behind him, into the room. “Is anyone there?”
“No,” he answered, still in shock.
“Good."
She lunged at him, arms wrapping around his neck. Her lips met his as she kissed him with fervor.
As if no time had passed at all, Draco held her, hoisting her up on his waist, her legs naturally circling around him as it did many times before.
Her hands found his hair and she tugged at it, eliciting a moan out of him. She continued kissing him even as he carried her in, kicking the door behind him.
“Draco…I still love you too,” she murmured, eyes glazed.
She buried her face in the crook of his neck and spoke the next words into his skin. “I lied,” she whispered. “All of it was a lie.”
It…was a lie?
He set her down on the edge of his bed, looking at her, urging her to continue. Why did she lie?
And then why did she change her mind?
“I didn’t sleep with anyone after you,” she confessed, looking down and not meeting his eye. “Of course not.” She sighed. “How could I when you’re the only man I’ll ever want?”
Only man she’ll ever want. He smiled softly. He had so many things to say but held his tongue, waiting for her to continue.
“He’s yours,” she said tearfully.
He could have sworn his heart stopped.
“I was so scared, Draco. Absolutely terrified.” Biting her lip she went on, “I’m sorry I lied. It was such a horrid thing to do. I thought that maybe…maybe you were only there to ask if you had a bastard son.”
“No. Granger—”
“I know…it doesn’t sound like you at all,” she groaned, covering her face. “But all I could think about was my son. If I had told you, would you have been willing to shoulder the burden of a child so suddenly?”
“Of cour—“
She cut him off, “Of course knowing you…you would have. But I didn’t want him to have a father there only out of obligation. I want him to have a loving set of parents. Parents who love him and each other.”
“I was scared then, and I was scared now.” She said, taking his hand in hers. “I ran away from you all those years ago because I found out I was pregnant and I was terrified .”
“To hear you say you still love me after everything…” she choked out, “was the best thing I’ve heard in years.”
“I love you, Hermione,” he said, trying to assure her because…gods, there wasn't a single day he didn’t think of her.
“I love you too, Draco,” she said, a sob escaping her. “Never stopped loving you.”
“I…I want to see Hugo.”
“Hugo? You mean our son?” She laughed, wiping away her tears. “His name isn’t Hugo; it’s Scorpius. He’s named after the stars, just like you.”
“Good, because Hugo is a gods awful name for a Malfoy,” he teased, a look of relief on his face.
Hermione giggled, squeezing his hand softly. “No…Hugo was the name Ron wanted.”
For a brief moment, he forgot. She was still married to Weasley.
“You’re still married,” he murmured. “So how…how does this work?”
“We aren’t married.” She held his gaze and the truth was evident in her eyes. “It was just something we told the press.” Her hand squeezed his own in assurance. “Harry and Ron thought that Scorpius needed protection…so we staged a fake engagement and pretended to get married abroad. It wasn’t a terribly pretty image for the Golden Girl to get pregnant by an unknown man.”
Bringing her hand to his lips he placed a soft kiss atop of it, “You wouldn’t have been pretty . You would have been the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world.”
She smiled, twining his fingers with hers. “He knows about you, you know. I haven’t told him who you are, specifically, but he knows about his father.”
Draco gulped, not wanting to be a disappointment to his son. “Good things I hope?”
“Only the best.” She grinned, pulling him closer as if she might kiss him again. “So Mr. Dingosaur…would you have us?”
Draco pulled her closer and leaned in.
“For as long as you want me.”