The Malfoy's
After receiving my Hogwarts letter, and my "discussion" with my uncle, I went back to my bedroom, and sat in the emerald green arm chair's that sat in front of my large window, overlooking the neatly trimmed hedge, rain was pattering against the glass as my hand reached up to the back of my head, I gently massaged the back of my scalp with my fingers, in an attempt to get rid of the stinging sensation I was feeling. There was a knock on my door before it was tentatively opened and my Aunty Narcissa poked her head in.
"How'd it go?" She questioned quietly.
"Fine," I stated, not even bothering to look at her, my eyes remained trained out the window, watching the raindrops race each other down the glass and onto the stone window sill. I didn't like being short with her, in fact, she was the only person in this house that regularly checked in on me, but my head was still reeling from the conversation that took place in my uncle's office moments ago. She sighed and walked in closing the door behind her, I could hear her heels clicking against the marble floors, indicating she was walking towards me, she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, I unintentionally flinched at the soft contact. I could hear her inhale sharply, as she released her light grip on my shoulder, as she walked around to the other armchair that was next to the one I was sitting in.
"Look at me..." she demanded lightly, I knew she wouldn't force me to do anything I wouldn't want while we were alone, so I kept looking forward in hopes of avoiding her guilt-filled gaze.
"Asteria..." she said softly reaching over and gently taking my hand that was hanging over the arm of the chair, "I know, he's done something. That's the only reason you won't look at me." I sighed and looked down on my lap before slowly meeting her eyes. She looked at me for a moment her hand slowly reaching to tilt my chin in different directions.
"I can already see the bruises forming." She stated, "What did you two talk about?" She asked me in a worried tone.
"There wasn't a great deal of back and forth Aunt Cissy, the conversation was pretty one-sided." As I looked back out the window.
My aunt smiled lightly, as if she were recalling a memory, "you're father used to call me that you know?" I glanced back at her, "As a matter of fact my entire family called me that, with the exception of my parents of course. My sisters, and your father, and uncle, all called me Cissy..." she had a faraway look in her eyes as she said this, it didn't last long however as she pursed her lips and looked me in the eyes. "That's what he wanted to speak to you about, isn't it? Your father? Regulus?"
"Yes. He seems to be under the impression that I will end up like my Uncle Sirius, and my father. A...how did he put it? Ah, yes, a disappointment. I think he fears I won't be in Slytherin, that I won't become a death eater and serve the Dark Lord." I said with a tone of disgust.
"Well, you'll just have to prove him wrong then." She stated smiling slightly.
I took a deep breath in and released it through my nose in a heavy sigh.
"That's the problem, Aunt Narcissa..." I trailed, "I don't think I want to prove him wrong." I began as I took in her expression, trying to gauge her reaction before continuing, "In fact, I think I want to prove him right... I don't necessarily care what house I end up in, but I don't know if I want to follow the Dark Lord. I don't think that's what my father would have wanted for me...I think he would have wanted me to make my own choices like he tried to do..." I trailed off. It was her turn to sigh, a small frown pulling on her lips,
"I think your father would have wanted you to live Asteria. He would have wanted you alive, and turning your back on the Dark Lord, like he did, like Sirius did, like...like Andromeda, that is a death wish. He would have wanted you safe. Becoming a death eater is the only way to guarantee your safety." She stated firmly.
I pursed my lips "I don't want to kill innocent people. People who are no less important than we are."
"I know you don't." She sighed. She then pats my knee, and stands abruptly, "well than enough about the depressing topics. Back to what I came in here for. How would you like to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow morning after breakfast? Just you and I, we'll have a girl's day, and get your school supplies." She asked me with a giddy smile on her face. I nodded softly,
"Sound's like fun Aunt Cissy." I smiled back up at her. She nods her head once and kisses my forehead softly.
"I'll send Dobby up with some tea and a potion that will help get rid of those bruises. It may make you tired, so you can take a nap for a little while, and I'll come to wake you when it's time to get ready for your piano lessons." I nod softly.
"Thanks, Aunt Cissy."
"Of course."
And then she was gone, and I was once again alone with my thoughts. My eyes wander back to my window, letting my posture go, and slumping back against the chair, my mind drifting back to that little house by the sea, where a girl and her father were now sitting in cushy armchairs, both reading and sipping on cups of tea. How different that girl is from me, sure she looks like me, but she's happy, she's content with her little life, that was constructed by her father, with only her comfort in mind. My thoughts were interrupted by a small cracking sound, my back straightened and I turn around to see Dobby, my only friend, holding a tray with an ornate-looking teapot, a china cup, and saucer, and a small vile of a potion.
"Your tea ma'am." He stumbles looking at the floor. I take his appearance in, he had small bandages wrapped around his hands, I exhale softly and rise from my chair.
"Thank you, Dobby, and how many times have I told you to call me Asteria?" I smile down at him softly, and remove the tray from his grasp, setting it on the glass table next to the armchair I was previously residing in.
Dobby looks up at me with his large eyes and smiles shyly, "sorry Miss Asteria... Master Malfoy made me iron my hands this morning...I put too much milk in his tea." He holds out his hands as if to show me. I kneel in front of him gently and take his small hands in my own,
"Seems like I'm not the only one to get on his bad side this morning..." I trail and smile at him softly, "I can give you clothes if you'd like. You could leave. You don't deserve to be treated this way..." I trail off, hoping he would accept my offer.
"Dobby would never leave his Miss Asteria. She would be in so much trouble..." he stuttered, shaking his head frantically.
"I would get in trouble for you Dobby, you are my only friend, if I could help you escape my uncle and cousin's torture I would. You only need to ask me." I state firmly. The tiny creature smiles wildly at me
"Miss Asteria just called Dobby her friend." He whispers in awe and fear that someone would hear him.
"Of course, you're my friend Dobby."
"Dobby is being summoned." He says as he wipes the tears gathering in his large eyes, "and Miss Asteria?" I humm in acknowledgment, "Dobby will not leave Malfoy manor until Miss Asteria does." He finishes with finality, snapping his fingers, and disappearing instantly.
I smile softly, rise from my kneeling position, and head back to my armchair, slumping against it, I pour a cup of tea, adding my milk and honey to my Chamomile, I then pour in the potion. I take a sip savoring the flavor and look back out my window. It was still dark and gloomy, I closed my eyes listening to the rain against my window.
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Later that evening:
The rest of my afternoon passed rather quickly, after my tea and a short nap, I went to my piano lessons and practiced until I was summoned down to dinner. Where I now sat in a knee-length black long sleeve dress, sheer black tights, and shiny black loafers, across from Draco who was currently digging a moat in his mashed potatoes for the gravy. My uncle entered the room quickly, lightly smacking Draco on the back of the head as he passed, muttering a comment about not playing with his food. I sat up a little straighter and removed my elbows from the table before he notices them. Lucius takes a seat at the head of the table and looks at the three of us silently before clearing his throat.
"So I heard a little trip to Diagon Alley is to take place." He states looking at me. I open my mouth to respond when my aunt speaks before me.
"Yes dear, Asteria and I are going to pick up her school supplies, we're going to make a girl's day out of it." She smiles lightly at him. My uncle looks back at me and hums while pursing his lips, as though he wants to disagree, but knows he can't.
"How...lovely." He chokes out. "Narcissa, do make sure she doesn't go buying anything foolish."
My aunt softly smiles and nods before stating "We'll be going after breakfast tomorrow morning."
I nod silently and go back to eating my dinner. We ate silently for a few moments until the quiet was broken by Draco.
"I would like to go to Diagon Alley mother." He states looking back and forth between his parents, hoping one will give in.
Aunt Narcissa smiles at him, before stating, "I'm sorry my dear but your cousin and I are going to be having a girl's day, while we shop for her school supplies. You will get your chance in a few years." As she goes back to her meal, I glance across the table and see my little cousin pouting, shoulders now slumped, and he's picking at his food with his fork. I softly clear my throat,
"Aunt Narcissa? I really don't mind if Draco comes with us. It could be a good time to spend some quality time together before I leave for school..." I trail off while I glance between my aunt and younger cousin. Draco perks up and looks at his mother,
"Please, Mother? Please?!" He asks excitedly. His mother looks between us before opening her mouth, only to be interrupted.
"You do not beg for anything Draco. I have raised you better than that. You will not be going, you will instead be coming to work with me. Give you a chance to see what you'll be doing in the future." My Uncle states matter of factly, leaving no room for arguments.
Dinner continues quietly, and when we were done, we all rose from the table, my uncle first leaving the dining room robes flying behind him, then my aunt who takes my cousin up to bed, and finally me. I rise from my seat gently pushing it back under the table, and walk silently out of the dining room, through the dark marble and stone hallways, up the grand staircase, and down the hall to my room.
I enter my room silently, trying to close my door as quietly as possible, and change into some black silk pajamas, my bare feet pad into my bathroom where I brush my teeth, remove my hair from its tight bun on the top of my head, and run my hairbrush through it a few times. I then return to my bedroom and walk over to my bed, where I find a cup of tea, and a little white daisy on my bedside table waiting for me. I smile softly, knowing it was Dobby, who leaves these small gifts for me. I pick up the flower and stare at it, admiring it for its gentle beauty. It doesn't belong in the Malfoy Manor...it is too pure, and delicate, things like that get crushed in this home, it is not a place for the weak, and up until recently, I had believed that I was strong and capable of handling whatever expectations my family threw at me, but I can't.
I'm not strong.
I'm weak.
I don't belong here, much like this daisy.
I don't want to follow the path that's been set before me.
I want to fight it like my father did.
I want to fight for that little house by the sea, where a girl and her father live together, where there is love and warmth, tea and books, and the option for that girl to be whoever she wants to be. I want that to be my life. Not one where I'm walking on eggshells, hoping I can please and be of service to the dark lord...
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