Monday, March 14
Monday, March 14
12:42 am
moony?
are you awaks
Unfortunately.
omg really
why
...I'm reading.
it is almost one in the morning mmoons
I'm aware.
what r you reading?
Red, White, and Royal Blue
inst that like just gay smut
A bunch of it is, yeah. It's really in-depth though. Like, usually I want the characters to get to know each other and really fall in love before they fuck, but in this one it's the other way around and there's so much angst after they both realize that they accidentally caught feelings.
Like honestly it's just art.
And some of the quotes are literally the most beautiful I have ever read.
And the characters are iconic.
You should read it.
i dont really read, moony
Yeah, but that's not gonna stop me from recommending it to you.
fair enough
What are you doing at nearly one AM?
contemplating the meaning of life
Are you really.
no im just worrying about my future
i cant sleep lol
What are you worried about?
my family
my brother
what i actually want to do with myself when im older
also im pacing outside the dorms because i got tired of not sleeping
james was snoring
Haha.
What careers do you think you’re interested in?
idk, i like the idea of art but theres like no way to make a living of of it
same with music
part of me is also ingrained with my parents thoughts that i should be a lawyer or a doctor but theres no way i could afford that since they cut me off
sorry that sounds kind of bitter
No no, it's okay. You're allowed to be bitter.
and honestly im scared
Me too
i feel like everyne has it figured out
and everyone says that its okay if you dont know yet, bc were still kids
but we arent just kids
we have ambitions and ideas and goals and dreams
and the world's mean to dreamers
That was a really beautiful sentence. I'm impressed.
I wish we could choose when we grew up.
lol thanks
i wish a lot of things
Yeah
i wish I didnt wish for more
Just to be content here and now
Then do it. Just ‘be.’
Hah you make it sound easy
Just put your phone down and breathe and let your mind wander. Say hello to the stars.
the stars make me feel small
The stars don't care about your mistakes.
that's strangely liberating
ill be back in a little bit
<3
...
ok actually there is something i kinda want to do
like when im older
but its silly
What is it?
i kinda want to open a flower shop?
like in those aus
I can see you doing that.
I bet it would make you happy.
really
?
Yes.
I have complete faith that you could do that if you wanted to.
that catually means so much to me moony
Thank you
...
fuck society
Fuck the patriarchy
fuck the government
Fuck taxes
fuck parents
Don't fuck parents
ahahaha that had no right to be that funny
It’s ‘cause it’s 1 am. Everything’s funnier at 1 am.
...
hey moony?
Yeah?
Can I ask
sorry if its prying, but can you tell me about your injuries plz?
...
I was thinking about it recently, and I think I feel comfortable sharing now.
You confided in me anyway, it's only fair.
i dont want you to tell me because you think you have to be fair!
dont tell me unless you actually want to
Thank you.
I do, now, though.
So my dad used to go hunting, and stuff, and he liked to take me and my mum camping with him. When I was about seven, we went on a trip deeper into the woods than we'd ever gone. He'd heard rumors of wolves in the area, and really wanted to find one. He would usually let me come along, but it was too dangerous this time, so I stayed with my mom at the campsite.
Well, there were some wild berries, and I went off of the path. A wolf attacked me. It mauled off most of my right leg, enough so that I had to have it amputated, and I have some pretty horrifying scars on my chest and back. My dad killed it barely in time.
Sometimes when I'm scared or lonely or have a memory triggered I get flashbacks.
And I guess it's not like abuse or anything you had to go through, so I'm not sure why it's so hard to talk about. It's just scary.
you went through a LOT, your fear is completely understandable
dont undermine your own bravery
do you remember it?
Only a little. I passed out from the pain almost immediately, thankfully. I remember it was around dusk, maybe a little after. It was a full moon. I remember turning around and feeling every nerve in my body kind of freeze. And the searing pain. And obviously now I'm covered in big ugly scars and I'm stuck with a prosthetic leg for the rest of my life.
I hate full moons and wolves now.
im not sure how to say your very beautiful
since ive never seen you really face-to-face
But you probably are
thats awful that you had to go through that
Thanks, Pads.
Really, I appreciate it.
I guess I'm not used to thinking of myself as pretty because most people give me kinda funny looks about them, and little kids ask me if I was in a gang or something.
like i said, this sounds very hot to me
Did your parents ever hurt you, like physically, like that?
if they were really disappointed (read: angry), yes, but they were always horribly careful to scar spots other people wouldnt see
Gods. I'm sorry you had to live with them for so long.
well i have been so blessed in other categories that it seems only fair that the universe give me terrible parents to even my odds
And what other categories are those?
im shocked you even have to ask Moons
My stunning good looks of course
Right. How silly of me.
arent you a griffindoor
*Gryffindor
Yeah, why do you ask?
because your amount of sarcasm seems more indicative of ravenclaw or slytherin
Hah, thanks.
that wasnt a compliment
I'm fine pretending it was.
I should probably sleep now.
yeah me too tbh
Good night.
night
<3
<3
Sirius smiled at his phone.